Changes
by livelovelaugh91
Summary: Mary Alice Brandon has lived in Forks, TN her entire life, and not much happens. She's convinced that nothing can excite her anymore, until troubled, rich, newcomer Jasper Whitlock arrives and peaks her interest. They are human, and for the purpose of this story I've made Forks a part of Tennessee. I don't own Twilight or its characters! Formerly called "Fresh Air and Trouble."
1. Chapter 1

**Jasper**

I pleaded to my mother and my father to change their minds as we left the airport in Memphis. They weren't hearing a single word of it. Were heading to Forks, Tennessee, where they'd decided I was to spend the rest of my days as a minor. That equals out to two years. Two years of fucking nothing! Dirt roads, trees, cotton fields or soybeans. That was all there was to see. I officially hate my life.

I can't really say that I didn't see this coming though. My mama and daddy gave me a million chances. I've been arrested a few times, always on underage drinking charges. I've had my license revoked, which was something that didn't help my case at all when I was brought into the ER three weeks ago after crashing my car into a guardrail on the road. I got bruised up, and my leg was shattered, but I was mostly okay. The doctor suggested my parents send me to rehab, but my father thought sending me to live with my older sister in the middle of fucking nowhere,would be a better option. Or a worse punishment.

Don't get me wrong now, I love my sister, I just hate Forks. If it were Memphis, or Nashville it'd be liveable, but it's two hours away from the city. Well, two hours away from Memphis, maybe more from Nashville.

My friends are all in Texas, my life is there. Even though I have a drinking problem, I've managed to create myself a pretty good academic profile there. What the hell will I be able to do in Forks that will make a difference? Find a new way to milk cows...Maybe start a project to get people to recycle the fifteen rusty cars they keep parked in their front yards. I need a drink, or a pain pill...maybe both. My leg is throbbing and thinking about the fact that I'll be stuck in hell for two years is giving me a headache.

"Jasper, you alright back there?"

"Yes Mama, I'm alright."

"Your sister's making chicken. Your grandma's recipe."

"Oh."

Tanya, my sister, has always been closer to my maternal grandmother than to my parents. That's actually the reason she's even in Tennessee. My mother's mother lived there. She has a house there at least a hundred years old. Tanya grew up with her, I think. She's about ten years older than me, so I only remember flashes of her but I always remember her being in Forks. She has her own bar and grille in Forks, called The Hut. That was something different because most of my relatives work to create, distribute, etc... Whitlock whiskey, beer, amd wine. The company is nearly a hundred years old. Right now my father is the head of it, his hopes are to pass it down to me. I want it, but I don't know if I'll need it. My mama's business is a chain of spas around the country. Tanya didn't much care to go down that path and I didn't either. She did attend beauty school a few months before turning somebody's hair cotton candy pink and flunking out, though.

When we got to the house I didn't recognize it. Of course, it was shaped the same way. It was a plantation style house. Huge columns, wrap around balcony, and shining windows. The bulk of it was white, with olive green trimming that matched the vines that were intricately creeping up the side of the house.

Before we could knocked the door opened and there stood Tanya. She was blonde, tall, but not taller than me, and intimidating. She hugged us all, kissing my mother and father on the cheek and ruffling my hair. I hate it when she ruffles my hair.

The house didn't look the same. The stuffy burgundy and gold wallpaper was gone. The walls were white. In fact, all the old stuffy decor that my grandma had was gone and replaced with crisp, modern style. Well, at least it would sort of look like home.

I hopped up the stairs to where the rooms were. My father attempted to help but I refused it. I was thinking if I acted angry enough they'd change their minds. My room was blue. It had a desk, a bed, and all the clothes and little items my parents had shipped while I was in the hospital. I plopped down on the bed and a few seconds later, Tanya told my mother to follow her because she was going to show her the rest of the house. My father sat down on the bed beside me and he clapped me on the shoulder so hard that it stung.

"Did I ever tell you, about your uncle Kevin," he asked.

"No daddy, you never told me about Kevin."

"Well... he was a lot like you. Smart as hell in school, no common sense though... drank like a fish too. He started young and at first it was thrilling. I was right along with him. I mean, how would it look... we were the future inheritance of an alcohol empire, we had to drink, right?"

"I don't know."

"Eventually I stopped, Kevin kept on. He couldn't stop himself. I tried to get my daddy to send him away. Folks were constantly offering to take him into their programs but my daddy never did anything. We must have gotten a million calls from the police because Kevin was out doing this, or that, causing trouble or just being annoying, but one night we got a different kind of call. I could tell by my daddy's voice that this wasn't the usual run of the mill late night call. Kevin wrapped his car around a tree."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"When we got that call a few weeks ago, I had flashbacks. Seeing you in that hospital bed let me know that we had to do something. I don't think you're bad enough for rehab yet son. But you have a drinking problem and I think part of it is your environment. Your friends. Plus, Tanya can keep a better eye on you. I know you might hate me for uprooting you like this, but I'd rather you hate me now and live, than die because I didn't do a damned thing to help."

I never cry. I was ten the last time I did, only because some girl kicked me in the nuts. This time I did cry though, hard. My dad hugged me and ruffled my hair, he patted me on the back and handed me one of the tissues aptly placed in a box on my nightstand.

"I'm going downstairs to catch up with your sister and see the renovations. Call if you need help getting down."

My father left my new room and I lay back on the bed, recalling what little I remembered of the night I had the wreck. I remember being at Peter and Charlotte's party. Maria broke it off with me to be with some other guy. I drank all the beer I could. I didn't stay long enough to get violent in my inebriation, but I did stay long enough to see Maria making out with her new beau. I said some fucked up stuff, Peter pulled me away, handed me another drink and I left with it in my hands. The rain started when I was on the road. It was hard just to keep my eyes open and the water looking like karo syrup on my windshield didn't help a bit. Then again, if I'd remembered how to use to wipers I would have fared better, at least when it came to the weather. Well, before I knew it the rain cleared out a bit and I was able to see, just barely. I saw that I was on the wrong side of the road so I swerved back to my side, making my car turn around and hit the guardrail that kept people from going off deadman's cliff. I hit my head, the air bag hit me in and face and my leg was pinned between the crushed metal, so there was nothing I could do but pass out and wait to either wake up and confirm I lived, or never wake up and assume I'd died.

I've made some pretty crappy decisions. Drinking too much was one of them. Drinking too much and driving was definitely one of my poorest decisions. Dating Maria was a pretty poor decision too. I dated her against my better judgment. I knew she was no good from the beginning. She's not the type that can be faithful, yet something compelled me to look the other way. I'd get drunk at parties so that I would pretend not to see her flirting with every, attractive man or woman within a two-step radius. I'd always hoped she'd come around and see that I loved her but she never did and at that party that night, it broke me. Seeing her openly kissing another person, making me look like a fool before I could even have time to make myself look like a fool. I hate her now.

All I could seem to think about was Maria, how I need something stronger than water, and how much I don't want to be here. The day faded away quickly and before I knew it, moonlight was splashed across my walls and my mother was coming to bring my dinner.

"Jasper... Tanya made your favorite. Grandma's chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. I brought you a coke to drink."

"I'm not hungry."

"Oh come on now. You've never been able to resist this and you've barely been eating for weeks. I know you're mad abou..."

"It's not that, well it is, but not only that."

"It's that girl, Maria isn't it?"

"..."

"Look, she did what she did and it's over now. Take it as a lesson and move on. You're handsome and smart, when you actually use the sense that God gave you. Don't get all hung up over her, she was temporary from the start. I'll leave this for you baby boy, don't let it get too cold."

When my mother left I turned around on the bed. The food did smell and look good, but it tasted even better. The chicken was tender and juicy; the potatoes were mashed to perfection with little bits of skin and lumps of character throughout. It was almost as good as my grandmother's recipe, but it didn't quite have that signature touch. I guess I'd say this is the next best thing. The coke completed the meal and when I was done I found myself happy that my mother has an undying need to feed me, most of the time. The food didn't make me feel happier, but it did fill a very tiny void inside me.

After sulking for only heaven knows how long, I finally went down into the family room where my parents and Tanya were watching the news. Apparently, somebody has been tipping cows over in the night here and it's making the people angry. The cows are nervous and two of them have suffered broken ribs and near death by suffocation. Though I'm not a bovine sadist, I couldn't help but laugh as the broadcast.

**Alice**

I kept my eye on the needle of my sewing machine. The last thing I want to do is attach my bloody finger to Victoria's virgin white pageant dress. I'd never get the blood out of the fabric and the sequins would probably be stained as well. There isn't enough time to make another either. The miss silver pageant is in two weeks and we are in the final stages of fitting. It's a really big deal in Forks and any girl who even remotely thinks she's hot stuff shows up, twirls around and answers those stupid questions like she's miss universe in hopes that she'll end up winning that five hundred dollar prize, that ridiculously tall crown, and the chance to say she beat out all the other broads in the county.

When the last sequin was sewn on, the thudding and pedaling of my machine stopped. I hung up the white, shimmery creation of mine and put it behind plastic for safe keeping before putting it on my rack of outgoing pieces. This is how I earn my money. I got good at sewing around age eight and it started with small alterations but by the time I turned twelve people were coming to me to make them clothes, bed sheets, curtains, purses, hell, I've even made shoes for dogs! It's my passion, and I'm glad it's lucrative because I've cursed out the manager of Mc Donald's so there's no chance I'll get a job there.

I turned my covers back to try and get into bed. It's been a long day and I failed my driver's test for the third time since I turned sixteen four months ago. It's damaging to my confidence that I may never be able to drive, and that I may have to ride my bike thin mint around for the rest of eternity. I just... want to be able to drive.

There was a rapping at my window. I opened my blinds to see Rosalie and Bella standing at it, smiling and giggling, and looking out for my parents. Behind them was the jeep that Dr. Cullen got Edward for his birthday. This is not good.

"It's one in the morning! What are ya'll doing out," I asked.

"Oh Alice, it's the first week of summer. Don't be so uptight," said Rosalie.

"Yeah, Edward and Emmett are taking us cow tipping and you need to come," said Bella

"Cow tipping! They are the ones doing that to those poor creatures? One cow has injuries! They should be ashamed. If I was a different type of person, Bella I'd call your daddy up right now and tell him everything I know."

"Well, I'm glad you're not a different type of person. So, you won't come?"

"Sorry girls. It's just something about harm coming to gentle creatures like cows that makes me unable to participate in their harming."

"But you eat beef, don't you," asked Rosalie.

"Don't try to get smart with me. You know there's a difference! Ya'll go on and have fun without me. I'd just be a fifth wheel anyway."

"You're sure," asked Bella.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Well, we'll bring ya back a big, steaming cow pie," said Rosalie as she and Bella made a mad dash to Edward's jeep.

Cow tipping, I've never heard of such a stupid activity in all my life. What next, are they going to start bowling with chickens or wrangling hogs? I closed my window, shut my blinds, and turned off my light. I was climbing into bed when my cell phone started ringing. I picked it up and looked at the number. Mike Newton, could this night get any worse?

"Mike, what the hell do you want?"

"Damn baby, don't be so hostile. I was just calling to tell you I'm in the neighborhood."

"Okay... goodnight."

"Well, ain't ya gonna invite me to come over?"

"Nope."

"What's with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've heard of playing hard to get but...you came onto me."

"How many times do I have to tell you, I never said that I was interested in you? It was a prank played on your by Jane and Victoria. I don't want you. I'm sure you're nice and all in your own special way but you ain't the guy for me."

"Are you a lesbian?"

"Yes... I'm a lesbian. I just love me some bitches."

I hung up the phone in Mike's face and I turned over to go to sleep. By the time I wake up that rumor should be all over town. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if my mama busted in my room at the crack of dawn, just to confirm the truth or falsity of the rumor, and to find a way to combat it. It wouldn't be a stretch for people in this town to think I'm a lesbian. I'm one of the only girls without a beau, and I've never had one. I'm grouchy, or as my daddy calls it, surly and ornery. My mama prefers to say that I'm simply unfiltered. I think she believes I'll never get a boyfriend because I'm not sweet, people think I'm weird, and I'm built straight up and nearly flat chested. I'm definitely nothing like my sister was. She was the star of their eyes, their pride and joy, and the child they'd always wanted. Well, that was until she ran away in the night with her boyfriend last year. She did tell me she was leaving, and she promised to send me postcards. Every now and again she does. I miss her because she was about the only person who got me in this family, hell, in this town.

Sleep overtook me and I drifted off thinking about the time she and I waited until a group of people were skinny dipping at the lake before we took their clothes and hung them from the trees. It was the summer when I was ten and she was twelve. We always did get into mischief like that.

The dream was lovely, my bed was warm and the fan blowing on my face was keeping me cool as a cucumber. The only thing to stop this flow of total relaxation was my mother. I heard my room door fly open. I cracked open one eyelid to see that the clock said it was six. The daylight wasn't even awake yet, and here she was with her face mask on, in her night robe, standing over me with a scowl.

"Mary Alice Brandon! Do you know that Mrs. Stanley just called me and asked me if it was true you are a lesbian?"

I yawned, opening my eyes slowly to look at my mother.

"No, I didn't know that mama."

"Do you wanna tell me why? Are you going funny on me girl?"

"I came out of the closet mama. What do you want me to say? I realized it last night when I was talking to Mike on the phone and I felt the need to let my preferences be known."

"Lord have mercy."

"Mama relax, I'm joking!"

"Are you trying to give your mama a heart attack? Oh, and what's wrong with Mike? He's a nice boy."

"He's a stupid boy."

"But he's handsome and nice."

"But he's so stupid!"

"You are so picky. I don't know what I'm going to do with you."

"Can I go back to sleep mama? Not even the birds and the bees alarm clocks have gone off."

"Alright alright."

After my mother left out I tried going back to sleep but I knew I wouldn't be able to at the moment. So, I got up and started working on a piece of my own. A black bustier with flowery sequins. I don't use the machine to sew these on, I do it by hand. I've been working on this bustier for months. I'm not in a hurry to finish it because I know I have nowhere to wear it to. I don't even know what I'd wear it with. Though, I've been thinking of attaching a black pleated chiffon skirt to the bustier to just make a dress...a dress that would hang in my closet forever.

I got back into bed and I tossed around a little, eventually dropping off to sleep again after a few minutes. The next time I woke up it was ten, and I knew I couldn't sleep any longer. I went to the bathroom to pee and shower and wake myself up. I took my hair out of the messy bun it was in, I brushed it, and put it back into a messy bun. I knew I wouldn't be going anywhere noteworthy so I decided on wearing tattered jeans and a simple white tank top.

When I went into the kitchen my mother was there with Renesmee Cullen, Edward's little sister. My mother is an elementary teacher and she tutors and teaches night classes a couple times a week during the summer.

"Morning Mama, and Nessie."

"I thought you were gonna sleep til noon girl," said my mama.

"Well, I was disrupted this morning."

"My brother sleeps late too," said Nessie. "He comes in real late but he paid me not to tell mama and daddy."

I chuckled at her and then fixed myself a bowl of cereal. I hopped up on the counter to eat it, earning an evil glare from my mother. She hates when I sit on the counter.

When I was done eating I went to the living room where there were a few orders in my little basket. Mostly it was to replace zippers or elastic. Basically stuff that people could do, and probably knew how to do, but didn't want to do. I didn't have any fittings today either so I'd be as good as done with my work by noon. I got the money from the envelopes that were attached to the order forms and I headed back to my room, my workplace, my little realm of controlled chaos.

* * *

"Alice, why don't you have a boyfriend?"

"I don't know Nessie."

"Oh...I think it's cuz you're smart. Mama said you're not tying yourself down cuz you're gonna get outta here."

"Ha, well maybe that's why."

"Alice?"

"Huh?"

"I only have about ten dollars now, but by the end of the summer I might have like fifty. Can you make me a jean jacket for fall, like with pink sparkles and pearls and a bow?"

"Save your money. You'll need it for fireworks and candy. I'll make it for free."

"Thanks Alice! You know, I wish you were my sister. Edward's not really any fun. All he ever wants to do anymore is hang out with Bella or talk to Bella or go out with Bella. I don't know why they like to spend so much time together!"

"You'll understand when you're older."

"That's what mama and daddy say too! Do you like walking me to daddy's doctor's office? It's hot out here."

"I don't mind much, you're good company. Plus, I need some things from town anyway."

"Oh."

When I dropped Renesmee off Dr. Cullen gave me the money to pay my mama for the tutoring, and he handed me a free stress ball. I have a million of these but I don't mind getting them. They come in handy to squeeze, and they make great pincushions.

My next stop was the fabric store. I didn't know if I'd buy anything but I knew for sure I wanted to see the new stuff. There was some floral, multi colored tulle. I knew I had to have it, so I bought some, along with the mother of pearl buttons I'd been spying.

People waved to me with strange looks in their eyes. Yup, Mike's rumor is in heavy rotation.

It was lunchtime and i was hungry, so I decided to go to The Hut. I haven't been this week and I could really use some of Tanya's bbq bologna and extra special baked beans. I took the little trail that led to the hut. I got to walk under the trees, they shielded me from the sun I also got to walk over the pond where a few people were fishing.

When I got there it was only a little crowded because it was the start of lunchtime, so it wasn't packed yet. I went in and took my usual seat. Heidi came to my table.

"Girl, have you heard wh..."

"Yes, I've heard. It's not true, I just told that to Mike to get him off my back."

"I figured as much. You having your usual?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. It'll be out in a minute."

I played with the salt and pepper shakers, making them dance in circles around each other. I ignored the stares and whispers. I couldn't ignore my grumbling stomach though. Walking in the heat takes something out of your, truly.

"Girl you sure know how to kick up the talk," said Tanya.

"Hey Tanya, you know me...trouble starter."

She laughed and then hugged me. I guess you could say I look up to Tanya. I come to eat here a few times a week and we talk. She doesn't exactly remind me of my sister, however, I can talk to her as easily as I could talk to Martha.

"Well I do understand, nobody wants to date a boy with the IQ of a sack of rocks."

She took her phone out and she looked at it.

"Shit, he's got perfect timing, lunch crowd is starting to pour in and everything... Alice, can I ask a favor of you?"

"Um...sure."

"My little brother claims he's starving at my house and I don't wanna leave since it's about to get busy. Could you be a dear and take him a plate? You can eat with him too. He needs the interaction."

"Gimme a piece of that silk pie and I'll consider it."

"Done."

"Okay."

She got my food and my pie, and his plate, then I headed towards her house. It was huge and beautiful. It's one of the oldest houses in the county. It's been in a few magazines and won some competitions, at least when her grandmother was alive it did. I don't think Tanya is into that stuff, though.

When I got there I opened the unlocked door and I walked through to the living room where I heard the television. He was sitting on the couch. His leg was in a cast and propped up on a footstool. His hair was the color of honey and it was wild and stringy about his head. He looked angry. For the first time in my life I Didn't know what to say... I guess I was stunned. I didn't expect him to be handsome. I mean, Tanya doesn't talk about him much, so I didn't know how old he was. I was expecting a twelve year old not a, hell, how old he?

He turned to look at me and he jumped, hard.

"What the..who the hell are you," he asked. "What do you want?"

"I'm Alice and I'm here to bring your food and your sister asked me to eat with you."

"What? Oh... I should've known. I don't need your company, thanks but no thanks, Anna."

"It's Alice, and I'm eating here whether you like it or not. I gave up my table to bring you this plate and by now it's gone. So just get ready, you've got company today sugar."

He rolled his eyes and started to eat, trying his best to ignore me. I talked about everything I could think of just to get on his nerves. I knew I was really grinding on his nerves with my talk about the buttons I bought today. Sometimes I really can be cruel. Finally he put the food down and he looked at me.

"Please stop... if I hear one my syllable about mother of pearl buttons, I'm going to hit you in the head with my crutches."

"You could try," I said with a chuckle. He chuckled too, though if you weren't paying close attention you'd think it was a cough. "What's your name," I asked.

"Jasper..."

"Jasper. Okay. Are you just here for the summer?"

"No... I'm here forever actually. I start Forks High in August."

"Poor unfortunate soul. Where are you from?"

"Texas."

"Oh. How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"Why are you here now?"

"What is this? 21 questions?"

"Yup... it is."

"Well why are you so incredibly annoying?"

"For the same reason you're sitting up looking like a wet cat. Besides, you'll need to know somebody in this town besides your sister, if you want to have any kind of life."

"What kind of life can I have here?"

"Well... there's not a lot to do, but the little we do have is alright."

He chuckled and sat back, finished with his food. I had only gotten halfway through mine. I didn't even want to finish it for some reason, so I closed the styrofoam carryout container and I drank down the rest of my coke. Afterwards I got up.

"Where are you going, I thought you were supposed to keep me company," he asked with sarcasm peppered throughout his voice.

"She said I had to eat with you and keep you company and I'm done eating."

"Well...bye Alice."

"Bye Jasper."


	2. Chapter 2

**Alice**

"Well is he cute," asked Rosalie. "Like, boyfriend material cute?"

"Rosalie he is handsome, but I don't know if he's boyfriend material."

"Alice, if he's cute then he's dateable."

"If that's all I'm looking for then I may as well call Mike up and say hey baby, come and get me, I want ya real bad, or something like that."

Rosalie erupted into a fit of laughter while Bella struggled to keep the root beer float she was drinking in her mouth. It did come out of her nose, which made Rosalie laugh so hard that everybody in Maters and Cheese pizza parlor looked at her like she was crazy. At least I wasn't the source of insanity, for once. When she was done she took a few deep breaths and Bella took a few sips of the standby water she had, because she'd gotten choked.

"Okay," said Rosalie, still winded. "You got a point, but Alice town day is next week which means a festival, the pageants, and then the dance for us. You don't have a date."

"Well... this guy wouldn't be much of a date at a dance anyway. He's got a broken leg, remember? That's why I had to bring him the food."

"You two could at least talk, the way they decorate the gym with the sparkling stars is bound to spark some kinda romance," said Bella.

"No... he doesn't wanna talk to me. Anyway, I don't know him. I've only met him once."

"Well, you did tell us about him Alice," said Bella.

"What's that sposed to mean? I tell ya'll lots of stuff but you never listen any other time."

"This time is different because it's about a boy and you've never mentioned a boy before," said Rosalie as she pinched my cheeks. I protested as usual but she was quick and before I knew it my face was locked between her thumb and index fingers. "Our wittle bitty Alice is growing up and has her first real crush," she said, too loud for my liking.

"Would you shut up! Don't let people hear you say that! I do not either! You take it back or else..."

"Or else what?"

"Or else we aren't friends anymore," I said, turning my head to put my nose in the air.

She bombarded me, pressing her face to mine so hard that I thought my cheeks really would fall off. She rubbed her silky hair against me, torturing me. She knows I hate when she does this.

"Are you my friend, huh, huh?"

"You are so annoying," I yelled out. "We're friends again!"

Bella sat on the other side of the booth, as always, watching and laughing while Rosalie attacked me. It's always been this way, since we all became friends at Mrs. Gerandy's daycare. That's where I met most of the people I know now. Emmett was always the biggest, always towering over everyone and usually that changed but in this case it didn't. Edward was timid and if not for Emmett's good heart and need to protect, he would have gotten beaten up. Rosalie and Emmett were meant to date even then. She would steal snacks from home and bring them to him, and he would steal flowers from his mother's flower pot to bring to her. In fact, I remember getting twenty minutes of time out because I played lookout for them when they were having their first ten second kiss. They still owe me.

"Have you finished that thing you've been working on," asked Bella. I usually tell them about most of my projects and the black sequined bustier was no different. I shook my head no slightly while taking a bite of the pizza that'd gone cold on my plate.

"Well why not," asked Rosalie.

"I don't have anywhere to wear it it."

"The town day dance, hello," she shouted.

"Maybe."

I've finished putting the sequins on. I've been having some restless nights. Mostly thinking about my future and my life, and my missing sister. It makes me nervous. Tonight if I'm restless I might end up attaching the pleated chiffon and black silk underslip. I don't know though. I might not even go to that dance.

Bella and Rosalie got up from the table, they have dates tonight. Edward and Emmett are taking them to the drive in movie a county over. I have no desire to be in that car tonight, that's all I know. I bid them both goodbye. Bella told me that she'd call and dish afterwards, I knew she would, and Rosalie threatened me to finish my dress, I knew she'd call to dish too. Afterwards I sat at the table, sipping on my watered down coke and sketching in my book. The particular outfit I was thinking of was pink, light pink, and very flowy. I guess I have my next big project. Another dress I'll make and never wear, probably.

**Jasper**

"Why do I have to be here?"

"To get acquainted with the new town, silly. You need some fresh air."

"Well, where are you gonna be?"

"I'm parking the car and I'm going to my book club meeting. See ya in an hour and a half!"

Tanya honked the horn twice as the dropped me off in the center of town. They do have a little bit more than I remember, but not much. There was nothing I needed, or wanted. She just thought fresh air would be good for me since I haven't really left the house in two weeks. I see why too, it's hot as hell, but the breeze does feel good.

I crutched down the sidewalk, people looked at me strangely and smiled, some tipped their baseball caps and other's gave me whispered hellos. They know I'm new in town, they can see it, feel it, hell, they might even smell it on me.

After crutching around for a few minutes in the heat, I knew I had to find somewhere to sit with AC, quick. I decided on a pizza and ice cream parlour. Maters and Cheese... the name was weird but I'm wasn't complaining too much, mostly because I like pizza, and icecream, and it wasn't too crowded. I don't really feel like talking too much. Tanya says I'm grouchy because I'm on the wagon, who knows, she's probably right. Whatever the reason I just find myself pissed off. I knew I had a drinking problem, but I didn't know I was so dependant on it until now. I'd have a few after school. A Lot on the weekends. Maybe a beer for breakfast and a few sips from a flask every now and again. Now I'm going without it. Sometimes when I think about how it used to taste, the bitterness coating my tongue, the burn and bite of it warming up my throat and belly... it makes my mouth dry.

Bells attached to the door jingled as I opened it. I looked around, trying to find a place to sit. I then happened to notice a familiar messy bun. I thought it might be that girl, Alice, from the other week. I went and sat down in the booth right behind hers. We were back to back, she didn't turn around to face me. Her face was buried in a book, she appeared to be drawing.

"Hi I'm Maggie, what can I getcha to drink," she asked.

"Um... a coke."

"Okay, and do you know what you want or do you need some time? I don't think I've ever seen you here before."

"Yeah, I'm new in town. Jasper Whitlock."

"Well I'm.."

"Maggie. You told me and it's on your shirt."

"Right! Right..."

"I just want a pepperoni pizza... a small one. It doesn't matter what kinda crust."

"Well alright Mr. Jasper. I'll uh, place your order and bring out your coke."

She was cute, brown hair with frizzy curls. She seemed nervous though. Alice still hadn't budged. She was still drawing. I don't know why the fact that she didn't acknowledge me bothered me. I guess the moodiness is another side effect of me being on the wagon.

"What happened to you showing me around town, so I'll know somebody besides my sister," I asked, knowing she could hear me. Her head popped up and she shook it from side to side slightly.

"You don't seem like you need to be shown around."

"Couldn't you have said hello?"

"Couldn't you have?"

"I could have, but I'm new here so it's your obligation to greet me and offer me a seat."

"Fine. Your highness Jasper Whitlock, I feel so blessed to have you eat at this pizza parlour, won't you share my booth and know that I'm honored just to breathe the air you breathe? If it's not too much of a burden, can I clean your shoes with my hair and kiss your ring? How's that?"

I couldn't help but laugh at her sarcasm.

"Actually that wasn't bad, but I'm not wearing a ring so you'll have to kiss my feet instead. What's wrong with you today?"

"You're bothering me..."

"Sorry."

I wasn't offended, I knew I was bothering her. My way of getting revenge for the other day when she wouldn't leave me alone and quit talking about those fucking buttons! I heard her exhale. She turned to the side and looked to me.

"Look, don't take it personal I just...when I'm sketching I get in a mood and I don't like being disrupted."

"Oh, what are you sketching?"

"Designs."

"For what? clothes?"

"Yes."

"You make clothes?"

"Yes," she answered.

"What kinda clothes?"

"The ones that you put on your body. Are you gonna keep asking questions like this?"

"Maybe. Is there anything to look forward to in this tiny town, or am I gonna have to join my sister's book club?"

"There's the town day festivities next week. I'm surprised you haven't heard because your sister is the head of the committee for food."

"What happens during this?"

"Well, the day time is a festival with a petting zoo, pie eating contests, relay races, stuff like that. The evening is the miss silver pageant for ages fourteen to nineteen."

"Are you in the pageant," I asked, knowing that the answer was no. She doesn't peg me for the pageant type. If she were she'd probably look more put together."

"No. I just made dresses for half the girls in it."

"Oh."

"At night there's a dance just for everybody attending high school. It's like a way to keep us from getting too restless, but also a mixer to give incoming freshman a chance to mingle with us uppers."

"Oh, are you going?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Don't want to."

"Why not."

"Because."

"Because why?"

"I just... it's not my thing. Mostly couples... my friends have dates and I won't and I don't wanna be the fifth wheel. So, I'm gonna fake sick and stay at home."

"Well... when you're home watching TV, let me know if there's anything good on."

I didn't even have to see her to know that she rolled her eyes at me.

The pizza came and it was one of the best I've ever had. Who'd have known that Maters and Cheese would be such a gem? I nearly ate the whole thing. Aside from one piece, I did eat the entire thing.

"So... I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow with Dr. Cullen, he any good," I asked.

"Yeah. he's a good doctor. He's always getting offers to go and work at big research hospitals but he turns them down."

"Oh, well, that's reassuring. Are you done sketching," I asked.

"Yes... now I'm done."

"Good. Tanya told me she's ready to go. See you around."

**Alice**

I went into the house. I kicked my shoes to the side like I always did. My mother would probably fuss on me, but I can't help it. I started back to my room to put down my things and come back into the family room, but she stopped me.  
"Mary Alice, I'm hurt that you're keeping secrets from your mama."

"What? What are you talking about mama? Oh... okay, I'm sorry I took a piece of that cake you were taking to church."

"You did that," said my father. "She blamed me!"

"Sorry daddy."

"It's not about that. Mrs. Stanley just called and told me that Maggie Scott saw you in real deep conversation with Tanya Whitlock's little brother. You got a boyfriend and you didn't even bring him home to meet us first! I'm heartbroken."

"He's not my boyfriend. I hardly know him. We were just talking about town day."

"Hopefully he's agreed to be your date for the dance?"

"No. I'm not going."

"What? Why? I was hoping to see one of those pretty dresses you make, but never wear."

"I just... Bella and Rose will be preoccupied, I'll be in the way. Mrs. Esme said she needed a babysitter for Nessie, since they're chaperoning... I think I'll do it."

"Mary Alice, you're wasting your youth. These are the best years of your life. Now, babysitting is a good activity, but this could be fun for you. You sure you wanna miss it?"

"Yeah... I'll just end up sitting down the entire time."

"Your sister sent a postcard," said my daddy quietly.

My mother scoffed. "I told you to throw that thing away!"

"No mama, please."

My father handed it to me. They were in Washington State, she and Maurice.

Alice, I'm seeing so much. It's strange actually being out on my own. We work odd jobs here and there for gas and food money, and for a place to stay, but it's satisfying to see everything and take in the air in all fifty states. I can't deny how much I miss you though. Whenever we are driving at night and the stars are out I think about you Alice. Maybe when you learn to drive, and you're older we can meet up. Tell mama and daddy I love them. Oh, and Maurice says "Hi, Shorty." Love. Martha... and Maurice.

* * *

"And then I just knew it was time...so Friday, we're going to go all the way," said Bella.

"Bella, are you sure," I asked.

"Yes. I love Edward and he loves me and I can't wait any longer."

"Well ring a ding ding... Bella and Edward and gonna be creakin the springs," said Rosalie.

"Shut up Rose," yelled Bella as she blushed.

"Well, be safe, don't get pregnant..." I said.

"I'll be fine."

"What are ya'll girls talking about," said Edward, coming over too us, too cooly with his hands behind his back. Emmett was in the water smiling. Something is up.

"Nothing," said Bella, blushing again.

"Oh..."

In a flash he held out a snake, it was small and probably a garter snake but we scattered, running and screaming from the lunatic holding a snake! He let the snake go and we waited until it was a sufficient distance to go back. Bella flew into Edward hitting him and pushing him for scaring the shit out of us all. He just laughed and took a few hits before wrapping her up in a bear hug that placated her. Emmett was in the water having a fit, his booming laughter was so loud that it reached us, even over the wind, the rustling of the trees, and the other teens laughing and yelling at the lake. I sat back down to try and calm my nerves.

"Are you sure you want to have sex with...that," I asked.

"Definitely," said Bella. "He's so thrilling, I just... sometimes I can't control myself and when we're apart I find myself scratching around, stretching and groaning like a cat in heat."

"Yeah, it's rough when you want it and you've never had it, but it gets worse once you've had it and you want it," said Rosalie.

"While we're on the subject, we heard you had yourself a nice little time yesterday after we left Maters and Cheese. Maggie told us," said Bella.

"How's that speaking of the subject? Jasper didn't arouse me in Maters and Cheese, we just talked back to back."

"About the dance?"

"No, about my plans to..."

"Bitch, don't you say it," said Rosalie.

"I'm not going..." I said in a tiny mouse-like voice.

"What? Why," asked Bella.

"I just...You two don't understand and I can't explain it. I'm just not... I'm gonna babysit Nessie."

"No, no, you're not babysitting Nessie! You're coming to the dance," said Rosalie.

"Please don't make me do this.. I just want to stay home."

"Well why Alice? We always go together," said Bella.

"We're still going together. All five of us," said Rosalie.

"See, that's the point. I'm a fifth wheel. I mean, it's fine for the lake or the pizza parlour when I have other stuff to do, but a dance is different. I don't wanna be sitting down counting the confetti on the table all night."

"That settles it then," said Rosalie. "I'm gonna decline on Emmett's offer."

"Rosalie please, don't get all dramatic. I'm really gonna be fine."

"At the dance," said Bella. "If you don't come I could end up pregnant like Lauren!"

"How am I gonna stop you from getting pregnant? I'm not gonna be there when you and Edward knock boots."

"Well, you're my jiminy cricket...like the angel on my shoulder and Rosalie is the devil."

"Hey, I am not the devil."

"We need you Alice...please?"

"I guess so. I'm hungry. I'm going to The Hut."

"Ooooooohhhhhh goin on a booty call," shouted Rosalie. Everyone turned to look at me.

"No, I'm not and lower your voice! I'm going to get food. He's not even at the hut!"

"Sounds like a booty call to me," said Bella.

"I'm done, have fun with your snakey sneaky boyfriend and you have fun with your bear of a man."

"Oh honey, believe that I will," said Rosalie.

I rolled my eyes and got my bike from the tree is was propped against. Then I took to the trail, making my way to the hut. It was after lunchtime but before dinner, so relatively empty. I walked in and took my usual table. Heidi wasn't working today, so I waited for Chelsea to take my order.

"No greeting, again," said voice behind me. "There's no excuse this time, you're not even drawin."

"I didn't see you," I said...walking over to where Jasper was sitting with his crutches, a laptop, and a coke.

"Yeah, right."

"Whatcha doin in here," I asked.

"Being watched like a hawk."

His eyes darted over to Tanya who waved to me and gave him the evil eye. I waved back , incidentally, Chelsea was making her way to the table.

"Hey Alice, what'll you have."

"My usual."

"Girl, you ever gonna try something else?"

"Nope, not planning on it."

"You are a hot mess."

"Chelsea... can I ge..." before Jasper could spit out the rest of his sentence Chelsea put up her hand.

"Tanya said not to bring you anything else, you've eaten half the stuff on the menu. Keep at it and you're not gonna be all sexy and mysterious for long, you're just gonna be fat."

Jasper looked dumbfounded as Chelsea walked away. I don't know why I'm the one pegged strange... Chelsea is even more blunt than I am most of the time.

The table got quiet and I started to think about next week. How much I'll dread the dance and how bad I'll feel while Edward and Emmett stare at me with daggers in their eyes. They are nice enough but... they like to occupy their girlfriends' time. Sometimes I feel like an intruder when I tag along as the fifth wheel.

"What's wrong?'

"My friends are making me go to the dance."

"This dance again? You don't wanna be the fifth wheel."

"Nope, I don't. I feel...needy and I know their boyfriends get annoyed at my presence."

"Well... I checked the TV guide and nothing good is coming on that night. I reckon I might as well go with you, so I won't be too bored."

"What fun will you be? Your leg is in a cast."

"Oh I'm sorry...by all means go to the dance yourself and hold your freinds' purses. I can ask Maggie..."

"Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"I don't even know you Mary Alice Brandon...why'd I wanna make you jealous," he asked..sipping his coke and sitting it down with a matter of factly look on his face.

"Okay... you can be my date, but can you do me a favor," I asked. I knew it was a longshot what I was asking for, but I decided to go for it. I hate feeling like this. I'm used to being in control. Stupid Jasper, turning the tables.

"What? You want a corsage," he asked.

"No... I want you to ask me," I said, feeling myself blush. My goodness, I'm acting like I'm Bella or something. Mary Alice Brandon never blushes.

"I did," he said.

"No you didn't..."

"Go to this dance with me, please?"

"I'll let you know."

He looked at me with a serious expression.

"Okay, I'll go with you. Will you tell me why you're here now? Did your parents die?"

"No...they're both alive," he said...sounding slightly upset. "I ... I don't wanna tell you."

"Oh come on, who am I gonna tell?"

"I got into trouble. That's why I'm here. I'm not telling you more than that, so don't ask..." he snapped.

"Fine fine fine...that's enough for me," I said holding up my hands defensively. I lied, that's not enough information for me, now my mind is roaming.

"You wanna know more, don't you," he asked.

"No, I'm good."

"Well good, because I'm still not telling you."

He smirked at me and I found myself fighting my smile. Why am I losing my composure? He's probably a murderer or a rapist or... I don't know. He's bad... I should be scared. Maybe. I really like his lips and... his hair. I've gotta pull it together! I felt my throat getting tight, and the food was taking a while. Chelsea still hadn't brought out my drink but I felt like I was chokling. Am I about to die? Before I knew it I'd reached over and grabbed Jasper's coke and I started drinking. When I was done only ice was left in the cup.

"Was it good," he asked.

"Yes... I was thirsty, I've been outside."

He raised a brow but didn't say anything. Two minutes later my food came but I found that I wasn't that hungry after all...so I got it to go and I went back to the lake . I think something is wrong with me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alice**

I could kill Edward. He told me there'd be room for me and Jasper. He didn't mention the fact that he was counting Jasper's lap as a seat! Then he had the nerve to take the bumpiest road in Forks to the school! Jasper's excitement was up against a place on me where the sun don't shine. I wouldn't be surprised if I got pregnant after this!

By the time we made it to the gym I was traumatized and embarrassed. Jasper was blushing and Rosalie and Bella were looking at us both and smiling like they were up to no good. Bitches. I didn't say a word though. I just took Jasper's crutches in one hand, and I looped my other arm around him so that he could lean on me. He smells good... like some kinda cologne. Like the stuff you'd pay for by the ounce. The boys around here only wear axe body spray.

"You smell good," I said, as I tried to focus on walking slow enough to support him.

"Thank ya, you smell like...hmm...cotton candy," he said with a chuckle as he sniffed me.

"Don't tease me! I still have it in my hair. Little clumps of it, even though I washed it twice."

"Well... at least you smell sweet."

"At least."

Jasper camped out by the cotton candy booth where I was working today and he documented my struggle. I was horrible at getting the cotton candy on the stick, so it ended up everywhere each and every time I tried. The kids loved it. They got enough of the sticky stuff to wrap around their necks like boas, and me, well I just got covered in the sugar. I'm just not much for preparing food at all, I guess. Last year they put me on hotdogs and I got into it with the mustard dispenser. The year before that I was on caramel apples and I ended up with it everywhere. Martha and my mother spent the entire night picking it out of my hair, piece by piece, and then melting out the rest with a blow drier. Next year I might be on funnel cakes or corn dogs, which will be bad. There's grease involved. I might burn myself up!

We walked into the gym. The music was thumping, people were talking and was heavily decorated with twinkle lights and sequined stars. James and Victoria were drunkenly swaying on the dancefloor. Victoria was no doubt mourning her loss of the pageant. Well, she did come in first runner up but Jane won overall. James' friend Laurent from a town over always crashes our dance and he brings liquor that people sneak behind the football bleachers and of incoming freshmen girls ran to the bathrooms in glee over a touch, or a kiss, or a kind word, or in tears over being ignored or told off. Yup, all this excitement over boys. Seems like it would get better with time, but it doesn't.

I went over to the table where I saw Bella and Rosalie's purses and shawls, and Edward and Emmett's jackets. Jasper sat down in a seat, I placed his crutches on the table and I sat down across from him.

"I'm impressed," he yelled.

"Why?"

"This dance actually don't look too shabby."

"You want anything?"

"Well... I am kinda thirsty."

"Punch or water?"

"Water."

"Okay."

I went and filled up a cup with water. I also grabbed some for myself along with a few of my mama's oatmeal raisin cookies, then I headed back to the table. When I arrived I was surprised, but not shocked, to see Jessica Stanley in front of Jasper, chatting him up. I don't like her. She's stupid and with the personality of a piece of fried okra. We've never gotten along. It's so bad that I can't even bring myself to hug her during fellowship at church! Better hot or cold than lukewarm though, right?

"Jasper, here's your water. I see you met Jessica."

"Your friend here..."

"My date."

"He was just tellin me that he was new in you must excuse Alice if she's clumsy tonight, she's never talked to a boy before."

" Better that than having contact with every available boy in town."

"My how hostile we are tonight...Oh, I like your dress. It makes you look like a girl, not like some flat chested boy."

"Thanks. I can make you one, so that you can quit stuffing your bra. Honey, you've sparked a tissue paper shortage here in our tiny town."

"Alice, sugar... I don't need tissue. This is the real deal."

"Oh...so it's true," I laughed.

"What?"

"Puh leaze... a weekend shopping trip to Memphis and then a case of the flu that kept you out a week. Jessica Stanley, you got a boob job."

"If you tell anybody that..."

"You'll what? You know I'm not scared of you or your gossiping mama. Trash my name if you want. I won't tell, but just because I'm better than you and such news doesn't make a dent on my radar. But for the record...everybody knows already. You just confirmed it to me."

She stormed off and I looked back to Jasper who was suspiciously sipping his water. He was trying not to make eye contact with me.

"Sorry about that..."

He started laughing.

"How'd you know I was listening?"

"It was the way you were sippin. Jessica's just... we're enemies."

"Oh... I get that. It was entertaining watching your claws come out."

"Well it doesn't happen that often."

We had a few laughs, talked about a few random things, and then things got silent. I started throwing confetti into the candles to watch them sizzle to nothing.

"So, I'm your date and not your friend?"

"You are my freind date... I'm sorry bout that, but if I didn't pretend to have my claws sunk into you she would have been on you like flies on shit."

"What's so bad about that," he asked...looking mischievous.

"Go right ahead...if you dare."

"I think I'll pass on that," he laughed. "Wanna try to get at least one dance in?"  
"I'd like that."

We headed out on the floor. I supported him again, acting as his crutch and once we were there we leaned against each other while we swayed back and forth. It was nice and being against him made me hot. My skin got sensitive to the touch with tingles and pins and needles every time his hand touched my arm, or his breath hit my neck. I closed my eyes, and like the movie said, I exhaled. It was the perfect moment. I felt like I was floating. Well...until there was a tap on my shoulder. It was a very angry looking, very drunk, Mike Newton.

"So... you wouldn't go out with me and you've known me your whole life! But he's in town a fucking day and you go out with him..."

"Yeah," I said.

"Bitch."

"Hey buddy, what the fuck's your problem," asked Jasper.

Mike splashed the punch in his cup all over me. Something told me to wear the black dress I just made and not the white one I made last summer. I just thought it would be nice, since the theme is silver and all. The punch was red and it stained my dress. I was frozen for a minute. I didn't know whether to kick Mike in the nuts or hit him in the face. I didn't get to act at all because Jasper's fist reached past my head, connected with Mike's face, and sent Mike flying back with a bloody nose.

I stood not knowing what to do for a split second before Emmett and Edward came along with Bella and Rosalie,hurrying us towards the car. It was a rush and we almost forgot to get Jasper's crutches. Luckily, Rosalie managed to grab them on the way out. We all piled into Edwards jeep, me in Jasper's lap again, and we left the scene of the crime. It was thrilling, and while we all should have been worrying about getting in trouble all we could manage to do was laugh.

"Boy you're alright. I've been wanting to deck Mike like that for years, and here you come punching him the first time you meet him," said Edward.

"Well...he deserved it. My sister's gonna kill me. I can't get arrested again..."

I turned to look at him, he looked like wanted to kick himself. The big picture is slowly being unveiled. Jasper's been to jail... I wonder what for. Fighting? Maybe. I can't be sure though.

"You been to jail," asked Rosalie. "You seem like a little lamb. What'd you do?"

"Some real stupid stuff."

**Jasper**

"Well son, I can't punish you for taking up for Alice. That Newton boy is just no good... no good at all. Half the people there have stories that match, so you're off the hook. Just make sure you don't go getting into anymore trouble, you hear?"

"Yes Sheriff Swan."

"Alright... you have a good night. Tanya, me and Renee are coming for our usual date night tomorrow, them crab cakes gonna be good," he asked.

"Now Charlie... you know nothing makes it onto a plate unless it's good."

"That's what I like to hear. Ya'll have a nice night now."

Sheriff Swan left and Tanya turned to look at me. She shook her head but didn't say a word.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Am I in trouble?"

"For kicking Mike's ass? No... I could find a busload of other shit to punish you for."

"So you're not telling mama and daddy?"

"No... but you do need to call. You're breaking Mama's heart."

"Okay."

"I mean it Jasper... they wouldn't have sent you here if they didn't love you. It's not so bad though, is it?"

It's quiet and there's not much to get into. I don't even know if people here know what my daddy does. It's nice not having that pressure to be always on top of my game. It's nice to just be able to go to a dance fully sober, punch a guy, and still remember it the next day. I've been here about a month and I have to say that Forks is starting to grow on me.

"No... it's not so bad. I'll call Mama tonight."

"Good. Daddy wants to hear from you too, though he'd never say so."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I crutched upstairs and I sat on the bed. I picked up my phone and clicked number one on my emergency contacts.

"Jasper? Hey baby... I been trying to get a hold of you. Where you been?"

"Sorry Mama. I went to a dance tonight."

"Oh, town day...I went to that once or twice. Mostly I was with your granddaddy in Atlanta. Him and mama had split by then. How are you baby?"

"I'm fine... ready to get this cast off. I... Forks is growing on me."

"Forks is growing on you," she asked. "It must be a girl. Is she pretty? What's her name?"

"Mama it's not a girl. I just... I realize it's not so bad. Less pressure."

"Thank goodness. So you don't hate me then?"

"No mama, I could never hate you."

"I'm so glad baby boy."

"Are you and daddy coming to visit on the fourth?"

"No."

"Well can I come home then?"

"I'm sorry...that's the island mixer and the launch of the Tequila."

"Whitlock makes Tequila now?"

"Yeah... well...if people like it. I promise we'll make a trip before school starts. Okay?"

"Okay mama... is daddy there?"

"No... you know he works long hours. I'm not even home. I'm working too..."

"Oh."

"This won't change for a while Jasper."

"What?"

"Us working these long hours. That's part of the reason I think you got into trouble. You were too lonely. You never saw us...you wouldn't see us now. I just, just know that we're making the best life we can for you."

"I know mama... I know."

"Love you baby boy."

"Love you too mama."

"Talk to you later."

"Okay..."

She hung up and then I realized that another reason I like it here is the attention I get from Tanya. She's always in my business... she cooks for me. Well, she cooks for everybody. I think I feel like a little kid with a regular mother.

I scrolled down my contacts until I found my father's number. It rang a few times before he answered.

"Son, what's up?"

"Nothing dad...just calling to say hello."

"You're not comin home."

"I know that... I'm starting to like Forks. I just really wanted to call to say hi."

"What's her name?"

"Dad..it's not a girl. I just, it's a nice change."

"Mhmmm... well don't play in the rain without your rubbers. How's your leg?"

"Dr. Cullen says it'll be another six weeks before I can take the cast off."

"Just in time for school. Oh and don't worry, Forks High got a generous donation for computers and equipment and to send the teachers to a workshop so it should be a halfway decent institution by the time you go through the doors."

"Thanks daddy."

"Don't mention it. How's your sister treating you?"

"She's tough."

"She's like your grandma. Your mother's mother was a tough old bird. scared the shit outta me. I'm glad you're not angry anymore Jasper."

"Yeah...me too."

"Be good son."

"I will..."

"Call your old man again soon."

"Okay, bye."

I hung up the phone and I was about to go shower when my phone rang again. This little device is getting more action than it's seen in over a month. It was Alice this time.

"What?"

"Don't be rude Whitlock... I was calling to thank you."

"For what?"

"You know for what. Don't play stupid."

"Oh...that. No problem."

"Well... I made you something."

"You did?"

"Yes...you know what nevermind...it's dumb, really."

"No, now I'm curious."

"Okay...I baked you a cake."  
"You know how to bake?"

"I don't know...it's the first thing I've ever successfully baked on my own."

"Bring it over."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah tonight. It won't taste as good in the morning."

"Fine... Wait, is Tanya still awake?"

"Hold on, I'll check."

I removed the phone from my ear and I listened carefully for the sound of the ocean. When I heard it I knew that she was asleep. She never goes without her sound ambience machine.

"She's sleeping."

"O...Okay."

**Alice**

Oh my gosh! I'm sneaking out of the house to go see Jasper. It's after midnight. My mama will kill me if she ever finds out. I've never done anything like this before! So, I called a professional to ask advice. Rosalie sneaks out often, but Coach Mccarty is pretty laid back so she and Emmett don't have to sneak around too much. Bella's who I'm going to. She spends every night but Saturday with Edward, and that's only because she has to help teach Sunday school.

"Hello," she asked... whispering. I could hear Edward ion the background asking who it was. "It's Alice.

"Bella... I need your advice."

"At nearly one in the morning?"

"I'm about to sneak out of the house..."

"Oh my gosh, you're going to meet Jasper," she asked, whispering excitedly.

"Kind of... I'm taking him the cake I baked."

"He punched Mike for you and you want to murder him?"

"Stop it! I can bake."

"Sure... well... your mama sleeps like a log, so unless that phone rings I doubt she'll be up before six."

"I know that much. I mean... I don't know. Do I wear all black?"

"No... but make sure to wear your good underwear."

"What? Why?"

"You're going on a booty call."

"I'm not. I'm going on a cake call!"

"In the rap videos they call a booty, cakes...same difference."

"I'm nervous..."

"It's because you like him."

"I do not..take that back."

"You do and I'm done arguing."

"Tell Edward I said hi. Wish me luck."

"You don't need it."

I don't know why, but I took Bella's advice and I put on the best underwear I had, then I put back on the shorts and tank top I changed into after I showered off the punch from the catastrophe. I put the cake into thin mint's basket. Well,sort of... I had to strap it on top, and then I took the smoothest path possible to get there. When I finally made it the poor thing that been shaken and bounced at least a million times. I'm surprised it wasn't only crumbs.

When I got there the door was unlocked and Jasper was standing there.

"Took you long enough. Come on."

We went into the kitchen and he got out two plates with two forks. I unveiled my lopsided masterpiece and he looked at it skeptically.

"I hope it tastes better than it looks," he said.

"Take the first bite."

He dug his fork in and pulled a chunk out. He put it in his mouth and chewed three times before swallowing with his eyes narrowed.

"Alice...what kinda cake is this supposed to be?"

"I couldn't decide, so I mixed a bunch of stuff together," I said.

"It tastes like it."

"So it's not good?"

"Stick to sewing, cake tastes like vinegar."

"It doesn't!"

"Shh! It does too...taste it."

He offered his fork to me and I took a bite. My cake tastes like vinegar, sweet, lemony, vanilla flavored vinegar. It was a struggle to swallow it, but after I did I couldn't stop laughing. My first attempt at baking alone that didn't end in a small fire or a ruined piece of cookware, and it tastes like vinegar.

Jasper and I disposed of the cake and then we went into the living room. He tossed his movie collection over to me. The DVD's were in a huge case, and no two disks shared a pouch.

"Cruel Intentions! This is one of my favorites," I said. "Put it on."

"You're lucky that's one of my favorites too" he said, "otherwise I wouldn't respond to such a course demand."

I rolled my eyes at him and I sat down in the center of the couch. I didn't realize until after he sat down, that I'd made it so no matter where he sat, he'd be touching me. I think I'm slowly going insane.

A few minutes into the movie everything was silent. I looked over at him, and when my eyes were glued to the screen I could tell he was looking over at me. I didn't want to move too much, or breathe too loudly, or even swallow too deeply. Oh my goodness, I'm losing it!

The house was cold so I wrapped my arms around myself.

"You cold," he asked

"Yup."

"So you were just gonna freeze to death? I'm not a mind reader."

"Well get your crippled ass up and gimme a jacket then," I said, feeling myself smile at the comment that would spark a reaction. I wasn't wrong... it started a wrestling match. I misunderestimated Jasper. I thought because his leg was broken I'd win but I ended up pinned under him, his weight making me breathless and the scent of his cologne flooding my nostrils.

"Since your cake failed, you gotta pay me back another way," he said.

"What," I asked.

"Answer a question for me."

"O..okay," I stuttered. It's a relatively new thing for me. I'm usually quick with my words.

"Do you like me?"

I didn't know what to say. Of course he wanted the truth and as much as I tried to deny the truth, I knew that it was self evident. I'm no different than the other girls. I'm falling... I'm falling for Jasper Whitlock. He's on top of me and I like it and I think I want to kiss him.

Instead of answering with words I rose up and I took a risk, our lips connected and I thought I'd have a stroke. When we broke apart he looked down at me. He wasn't smiling, he was actually frowning. He looked confused and disoriented.

"Are you sure," he asked, "you really like me?"

His face was painted with worry. Like, I was lying to him or just doing what I did to try to trick him. I know there's a story there. I don't want to ask. I don't want to ruin this moment. I want him to stay on top of me while Annette and Sebastian trade witty banter and fall for eachother.

"Yes...why'd you ask me that?"

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't doing me any favors because I punched that guy for you."

"I don't do people favors...if you knew how much I hated myself right now for giving in you'd know that I'm not doing you a favor."

"Why don't you wanna give in?"

"I think I'm scared. This is new to me. Gosh Jasper! I could run you over for making me normal."

I covered my face with my hands to hide it from him while I had a nervous breakdown. I heard him chuckle as he got off of me. I rose up and he started the movie over.

"What," I asked. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing... it's just that it would take a lot more than liking me to make you normal... and you can't run me over because you don't have a license."

I rolled my eyes at him, moving to the other side of the couch. He looked over and smiled at me.

"Still cold," he asked.

"Yes."

"I want this back before you leave," he said.

He limped over the the closet and pulled out a hoodie. He tossed it to me and I put it on. It smelled like him. When he sat on the couch again it was closer to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and we watched the perils of Annette and Sebastian. By the time the movie went off Jasper was asleep on the couch. I kissed him gently on the cheek and I left with his jacket and my mama's cake taker in tow. He's never getting it back.

**So what'd you guys think? I was having a hard time deciding how much of the dance to put and also deciding what would happen at the dance. I don't know why, but there's something in me that loves making Jessica and bad guy, er, girl. Let me know!**


	4. Chapter 4

_**So I know it seems like things are moving at a snail's pace,but I promise the meat is coming. I have so much drama planned! Thanks for reading, I hope ya'll are enjoying it so far. Oh and this is an abnormally long chapter. I didn't mean to make it that way, it just happened. Oh, and the next chapter will be mostly Jasper. **_

**Jasper**

"Ha ha! Told ya I was gonna beat both of ya'll ! I'm a champ! You can't reach me baby, can't reach me," shouted Emmett. We were playing a basketball video game. I've played the actual game a few times and the video game only when I was too bored to get drunk. The only reason I'm here playing and not at home watching Maury is because they invited me. They've been inviting me to hang out ever since the dance. They say that I'm "alright," and that I can be a member of the pack. I kind of like the idea of hanging out with people because they actually like me and I actually like them, and not because our parents are in the same income bracket.

Edward shook his head and chunked the controller at the bed. I can tell this defeat happens a lot. He glowered at Emmett doing his victory dance on the bed. I laughed at both the face Edward was making, and the way Emmett's neck and eyes were rolling around, like some kind of crazy, pop-eyed rooster. Once his celebration was done he plopped down on Edward's bed so hard that I'm sure he must have popped a few springs.

"So... what's up with you and Alice," asked Edward.

"Whaddya mean?"

"Don't play dumb. You calling her to come chill at one in the morning... that's what I mean."

"A, she called me and B, she was delivering a cake. I only offered to watch a movie to be hospitable and because I like watching movies."

"Uh-huh... that's what's I always say when Rosalie comes over in the middle of the night, said Emmett."

"Come on, I'm serious. Alice is nice and all but nothing is going on."

"So... you mean to tell me Alice is over your house, at one in the morning, and nothing happened. No kissing, no petting, no nothing," asked Edward.

"No, nothing happened."

"Well, you're still a skilled locksmith to crack that code," said Edward.

"I haven't cracked any code, I don't know what ya'll are talking about."

"So, you mean to tell us you just punched the shit out of Mike for no reason, man admit it... you like Alice."

"I never said I didn't like Alice. I like her just fine.I just don't like her like that. I mean flirting with her is fun but I'm not trying to get a new girlfriend just yet."

"Oh...okay... I understand that," said Emmett.

"So... what is the deal with her? Why hasn't she gone out with anybody," I asked.

"She's picky," said Emmett.

"Yeah, guys have been asking her out for years. Mostly Mike, Jane's brother Alec asked her out a few times too, though they were able to be friends after she rejected him, unlike Mike," said Edward. "She's just always been weird."

"Speaking of weird," said Emmett, "I need to borrow some of your condoms Edward... it's not like you need em anyway."

"As a matter of a fact Emmett, Bella has wanted me every night since we did it the other week. She's never satisfied with a piece of me, she wants to whole pie."

"Really," I asked. "She doesn't seem like the type."

"Yup, really..."

"So, how was the first time," asked Emmett. "I never asked you."

"It was breathtaking," said Edward.

"Wait, you were outta breath... she's the one who is supposed to be outta breath. You didn't do it right."

"Can we stop talking about my sex life?"

"I guess... So can I get borrow some rubbers or not? I don't wanna go to the drugstore to get any. Mrs. Weber looks at me weird."

"Top drawer, to the left, under the cupid boxers."

"Thanks bro."

They were definitely entertaining to watch, that's mostly what I found myself doing but I'm sure I'll be talking in no time. Right now I really have nothing to talk about. I'm new... besides meeting Alice and punching Mike, nothing's happened to me. So, I'm quiet.

I happened to notice the tips of a pair of pink, sparkly, light up shoes and little fingers curved around the frame of the door. I knew we were being spied on by his little sister. She seemed like an interesting kid. When I got over there she was trying to get her dog to do a trick but he just rolled over with his arms folded, waiting for his belly to be rubbed.

"We got company," I said.

Edward turned his head towards the door and rolled his eyes.

"Nessie! What have I told you about spying on me!"

The little shoes disappeared, and with them went little footsteps. Edward went running. I can remember spying on Tanya that way, when she was home. Of course, she was good at hiding her secret and covering her tracks, and I was bad at spying so I never got any dirt.

**Alice**

I've been doing alterations all day. It's business as usual. I've also been working on a dog- parade costume It's for Mrs. Gerandy's adorable weenie dog, Ruffalo. It was tricky taking his measurements, and it's been ever trickier making the costume because he's long and fat. However, I managed to make him something that will make him look like Uncle Sam, complete with a beard and top hat. She's even given me a leash to customize. Needless to say, I've been busy. With that, and altering dresses for the upcoming Miss Independence pageant. Most of the girls who competed in the Miss Silver pageant just bring their dresses to me to have them re-detailed. The dresses were mostly silver or white anyway so putting on some new colors of beads and sequins won't be too hard...but it will be time consuming. I guess you could say I'm swimming in a sea of sequins. Which is just as well because it keeps my mind off of the fact that I made a fool out of myself.

It's been one week since the dance, one week since I kissed Jasper, and one week since I've seen him or heard from him. I scared him off, I know it. I scared him off being all forward and outward with my emotions. I could just... I could just poke myself with one of these needles! I miss the days before I worried about stuff like this. When I could focus, and when I didn't get hot and bothered, and when I wasn't perpetually feeling ashamed of myself for jumping on him like a cat in heat.

I put each altered piece in a bag to be dropped off at each residence. I'd take them when I took Nessie to Dr. Cullen's office. She had tutoring today and my mama has some kind of teacher's meeting about a workshop or something they are going to next month. As if on some kinda clock, I heard Nessie knock at my door as I was reaching for the knob.

"Your mama says for you to take me to my daddy's office now."

"Why can't your brother ever pick you up?"

"He's sposed to be cuttin the grass."

"Oh, well I guess that's a good excuse. Come on."

I grabbed Nessie's hand and held the bags of alterations with the other. Jacob was outside waiting when we made it to the porch. He's the Cullens' Husky and he follows Nessie everywhere, unless he's tied up for bad behavior. Which is most of the time, because he gets into trouble a lot. I knocked on each of the doors, handing off bags,and taking my leave. By the time I was done it was just me, and the most inquisitive and informative seven and a half year old I know.

"Is Jasper gonna be your boyfriend?"

"No... who told you that," I asked.

"Nobody. I just heard my brother and him and Emmett talkin when he was over our house yesterday."

"He was over your house?"

"Yup. Playing Edward's video game. Emmett won."

"Oh. Well...what'd you hear? Since you were eavesdropping."

"I'm not sposed to tell. Edward said he'd pinch my arms."

"Jacob and I wouldn't let that happen to you. Now spill the beans."

"Well... promise not to tell anybody I told you?"

"I promise Nessie."

"My brother asked Jasper what was goin on with ya'll and he said you were nice... but nothing was happening and he liked flirting with you cuz it was fun, but he doesn't like you- like you, and that he only invited you to watch the movie cuz he likes watching movies and it was polite."

"Oh... well... you should be a spy little girl."

"Thank ya... daddy says I got a knack for finding out stuff people don't want me to find out."

When we got to Dr. Cullen's office I greeted the receptionist, Bertha, then I headed back to where he'd be. He was rushing around, grabbing stuff and putting it in his bag.

"Hey Dr. Cullen... I'm dropping off Nessie."

"Oh Alice, good, I need a favor. I wouldn't normally ask bu..."

"You need me to babysit?"

"Yes. Edward's gone AWOL, Esme is on a trip looking for antiques for the store and I have to go to the hospital over in Johnson to deliver a set of twins."

"Well go... I got Nessie. She can even spend the night if she wants to."

"Really," shouted Nessie, he voice filled with absolute glee.

"Yup."

"Bye baby girl," said Dr. Cullen. "Be good for Alice, and Mr. and Mrs. Brandon."

"Okay daddy... bye bye."

He left and I started back out, Nessie beside me skipping. When we were about to open to door to exit, Jasper was crutching in, Tanya was behind him.

"Well Mary Alice! I haven't seen you in a month of sundays. Girl, where you been?"

"Hey Tanya...I just been swamped...pageant time is coming up again."

"Oh lord, the girls in this town."

"Hey Alice," said Jasper.

"Hey," I said back, trying not to sound too happy to see him. I was, even though I just heard from the most honest source in Forks that he doesn't like me like that.

"Do you know where Dr. Cullen was going," asked Tanya.

"Daddy's delivering twins today," chimed Nessie.

"Well, I guess we'll get Bertha to reschedule."

"Bye Tanya...and um, bye."

"Bye Alice," he said.

We walked out, I could feel Nessie looking up at me.

"What?"

"Why didn't you say anything to him," she asked.

"Like what?"

"I don't know...you should'a said... he was cute."

"You think he's cute," I asked.

"Well yeah... for a teenager."

"I think he knows he's cute though, Nessie."

"You're probably right... maybe you should make him something. Mama always makes daddy cookies and when Bella is hanging with me and Edward she makes us food."

"I baked Jasper a cake... I can't cook."

"You can sew him something."

"It's complicated Nessie."

"But...you like him, don't you?"

"Yeah, but it's not that simple. You'll understand when you're older."

"People always keep sayin that."

"Because it's true."

She seemed a little flustered, but all signs of frustration disappeared the minute we walked into Maters and Cheese. I sat down while she went over the the pacman machine. Jane and Alec happened to walk in and wave to me. They are twins, they might as well be joined at the hip. Alec was technically my first kiss, it wasn't by choice though. When we were thirteen he held me underwater at the lake and kissed me. I felt violated, because I didn't want it, and scared because I thought he was gonna drown me. When we surfaced I hit him in the nose and ran home. Later on he came to apologize and we became friends again.

"Alice, can I borrow a dollar in quarters? Please? I'll pay you back!"

"Sure Nessie, you can have the money."

I gave her all the quarters I had and she ran back over to the machine. Maggie took our orders. Two cokes, a pepperoni pizza and icecream for dessert. Why not hype up a seven year old while I'm stress eating? I started drawing in my book when the bell dinged. I looked up, instinctually since I was facing the door. It was Emmett and Edward..probably wandering around like like puppies since Rosalie decided to pick up extra shifts at the grocery store, and Bella was volunteering at the library.

"Hey Alice," said Edward sneakily... he's such a snake. He can be okay when he wants to be, but I can't say I've ever trusted him. He's good to Bella, so that earns him extra points in my book but it's something about Edward that makes me think he might be crazy. "Seen Jasper lately?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He's your friend, right?"

"Yeah... he is my friend and that's all."

"Sure about that?"

"Edward, why you starting trouble," asked Emmett "leave Alice alone before she hurts your feelings, like you know she can do without trying too hard."

"Guess you're right," said Edward.

"Alice don't pay any attention to him..."

They went to their usual table at the back of the restaurant. I was glad when they were gone. Edward was grinding on my last nerve. I know he called himself "teasing" me about Jasper, he just didn't know that I already knew how Jasper felt about me. I don't know why, but I think maybe I liked it better before I found out. Then again, I am getting my information from a seven year old. She's a clean source, but is it a reliable source? You know what...that doesn't matter. If Jasper liked me, he would have called. It's been a week.

I happened to look back to check on Nessie. She was at Edward and Emmett's table eating up the cheesy fries they'd ordered as an appetizer, however, when she saw that Maggie was bringing our pizza over, she jetted to the table. It was just what I needed. The pie was hot, the coke was cold and I'm sure the ice cream will be wonderful.

"Alice what's the matter? You seem a little down."

"Oh nothing Nessie."

"Is it cuz of what I told you bout Jasper?"

"No... I think I was just hungry. That's all Nes... I need some ice cream."

"Oh... yeah that's probably it. I need icecream too."

"Your daddy is gonna kill me...feeding you all this junk."

"Well he didn't say you couldn't feed me the junk, so you can."

"That's a good logic."

We ate, had dessert, I paid, and then we were about to leave. I need to get out of town. I need to rest and hide in my place of refuge, my room. Nessie will be as good as dead on her feet when we get back to my house, so I'll pop in a movie, let her doze and I'll go decompress.

As we were about to leave Edward flagged us down.

"Nes, dad told me to bring you home...he's delivered the twins and he'll be home in a few hours."

"Aw... I wanted to go with Alice."

"Hey, how about when you come for tutoring next week we hang out and do girly stuff," I said.

"Okay? Can we work on my jacket?"

"Of course."

"Okay."

I hugged her goodbye, I waved to Emmett, and I gave Edward the evil eye. On the way I patted Jacob on the head. He was in a lazy mood today, which is good because if he wasn't he'd be doing something mischievous. While I was on my trek I heard the familiar old horn of Bella's truck.

"Alice, get in," she said.

I did and she told me about her day volunteering at the library. Apparently Forks has acquired some very saucy selections and she was sneaking and reading them.

"So... what's the matter with you?"

"Nothing,"

"I want barbecue... go to the Hut with me?"

"Sure," I sighed.

"Wait a minute, what was that?"

"Nothing."

"Alice don't you lie to me...what happened? Did you finally hear from him?"

"No...but I know how he feels about me. Nessie filled me in."

"Well...what'd she say?"

"He doesn't like me that way. Flirted with me for fun. Only invited me in to be polite..."

"Well she is only seven."

"I know that...but she's still probably right. I just wish I hadn't gotten all emotional, ya know? Your snake of a boyfriend didn't make things better."

"Edward? What'd he do?"

"He was teasing me. He probably didn't know that Nessie told me that Jasper thought I was a desperate tramp...but still... I'm emotional right now."

"I'll talk to him."

"Well, you can't. Edward threatened to pinch Nessie's arms if she told, and I promised I wouldn't let anybody know she told me."

"Well what are you gonna do?"

"Nothing... Hide in my room the rest of the summer and sew my heart out. Get some money for my college fund."

"How much you got now?"

"I don't know."

"You've been putting money in since we were ten, selling lemonade and cookies...how can you not know?"

"I don't know..."

"Alice you are a mystery. You're sure you're okay going to the Hut?"

"He might not even be there Bella, besides I saw him already today at Dr. Cullen's office."

"Oh."

I wasn't hungry because I'd just eaten half a pizza, but I'm always thirsty, so when Bella ordered her sandwich I added on a coke. Tanya waved to me from the bar, which was crowded with people coming in for post lunchtime drinks and desserts. I give it another hour before it gets quiet, and then another before it's so packed with dinner time patrons and happy hour drinkers that the doors won't shut.

Bella and I were talking about anything but Jasper, which mostly equated to a conversation about her, and Edward, and their sex life. It sounded painful, yet I was still curious about it. I've wondered ever since Martha lost her virginity at fifteen and came home crying. She sobbed the entire night in my lap until she went to sleep and when she woke up the next morning she was different. I couldn't put my finger on it, but she was.

For the most part Bella was the same, except for the fact that she looked off into thin air every now and again with a dreamy look in her eyes and a tiny smile on her face.

The door opened and in came the only person I'm trying to avoid right now. I whipped out my cellphone because I felt him looking at me. I prayed for him not to come over to our table but I knew I was fucked when Bella giggled and whispered "Here he comes Alice." I had no choice but to look up and meet the gaze of his brown eyes.

"Hey Bella," he said.

"Hey Jasper.

"Alice..."

"Hey."

"Jasper you can sit in my seat for now. I have to use the little girls' room," said Bella.

"Okay."

He plopped down and I couldn't breath. I didn't know where to look. My face was burning and feeling like it was being inflated.

"Did I do something wrong," he asked.

"No... nothing at all."

"Is this about the other night?"

"No...yes... it's nothing you did. It was me, all me."

"Then why aren't you talking to me?"

"I am talking to you."

"Alice..."

"Okay... why'd you ask me that question if you knew you didn't feel the same?"

"I dunno... I guess I wanted to feel wanted. I'm sorry Alice."

"Yeah me too..."

"For what?"

"Lying to you. I don't like you," I said... I'm a bad liar, mama says so. That's why I used to get Martha to do all my lying for me, and after she left I just resorted to telling the truth.

"Why Mary Alice, you're telling me a tale."

"I am not... I only said it because you punched Mike."

"If that's what you wanna trick yourself into believing. Can I have my jacket back?"

"What jacket?"

"The one I let you borrow, the one you stole."

"I didn't steal your jacket. I put it back into your coat closet."

"Liar."

"Jasper, I didn't take your jacket!"

"Swear on the bible."

"It's a sin to swear! I'm not gonna swear on the bible!"

"Do it or else I'll know you're lying."

"Well... I don't have to prove myself to you. I know doggone well I didn't take your stupid, stinky jacket, and I didn't. Why are you even here? You new posse was at Maters and Cheese, the last time I saw them."

"My leg is a little swollen today, don't feel much like crutching around so I'm staying at home."

"Oh."

Things were awkward and quiet. I had to stop myself from nervously laughing a few times because I knew that I had that damn jacket. It's by my pillow, and I sleep with my head on it every night. I don't know why I'm doing stupid shit like this but I am...I feel so out of whack. It's almost like something has taken over my body, and I'm just in the background observing everything that happens, yet I have no say in anything!

Bella came back from the bathroom after what seemed like a small lifetime. She had a huge smile on her face, and she was tucking her phone into her pocket. I couldn't tell if she was smiling because of Jasper and I sitting at the table, or because she talked to Edward. Either way, she was happy.

Instead of making Jasper move, she pulled up a chair. Her barbecue sandwich was on the way out, which was perfect timing. She started chowing down while Jasper and I just sat there. I played with the salt and pepper shakers because he was looking at me. Everyone once in awhile he'd kick me under the table and stare at me with a sneaky smile. Of course, every time he kicked me, I kicked him back. It was perhaps the most silent war ever fought.

When Bella had satisfied her craving she paid, and we started to leave. Before I could take two steps away from the table Jasper grabbed my wrist.

"What?"

"Don't be a stranger Mary Alice."

"Don't be a jerk Jasper."

He smiled my smile and then he released me. I hate him for it... I hate him for knowing that he has me all emotional. He probably just wants to hurt me, to prove that he can. Or like he said, he just strung me out this far to see if I liked him because he has some kind of weird self esteem issue and he wants to feels way I feel stupid. I'm turning soppy and sappy like I said I never would and I hate myself for it.

The ride to my house was quiet but every now and again Bella looked over at me and smiled.

"What?"

"It's just weird seeing you like this, is all..."

"Like what?"

"Crazy over a boy."

"I'm not. You shut your mouth right now if that's the kind of garbage you're gonna talk about."

"You've admitted you like him."

"Well... I change my mind."

"It doesn't work that way."

"How come?"

"It just doesn't, and you know it."

"Even if I did still like him, which I don't, he doesn't like me. It's pointless."

"Look...he might not like you now. But remember this...just because he don't, doesn't mean that he won't."

"Well it doesn't matter. I'm done with love, giving up."

"How can you give up on something you've never experienced?"

"I guess I never will... love is too reckless anyway. You're all emotional, not thinking straight...then the next thing you know you end up stuck like the people in this town or pregnant like Lauren."

"Alice the turtle, in her shell."

"That's mean...how dare you bring up that riddle in a time when I'm so emotionally fragile."

"So you admit you still feel something."

"Nope... I take it back."

"Alice the turtle, in her shell, needs a handsome boy turtle, to ring her bell!"

"Shut up! You know I hate that stupid rhyme. Who made that up anyway?"

"I actually think it was Edward...when we were in seventh grade and you and fat Helen were the only ones without dates to the dance."

"Oh, right... Bella I think I hate your boyfriend."

"Well that's alright, because I love him. Gosh, I can't wait for tonight."

"What's happening tonight?"

"We're doing it again."

"Haven't you been doing it every night?"

"It's different tonight. Mrs. Cullen is gone and Mr. Cullen never checks on Edward so I won't have to hide."

"Well... good for you, I guess."

She stopped singing the little song but she did hum it and look over at me evilly. Bella is usually the nice once, Rosalie is usually the one who is mean and into taunting, but every now and then the devil will jump into Bella and she'll be mean too.

I waved goodbye to her and I reminded her to be safe so she doesn't end up in trouble. She waved back and drove away, her truck backfiring as she did. Old red is reliable, but he sure is scary. It sounds like somebody is firing a rifle sometimes when she presses the gas, and the outside is so rusty that I'm scared if I scratch my finger on it, I'll get tetanus.

When I got into the house my mama and daddy were in the kitchen. My mama was preparing to put a roast into the oven. My daddy was looking through a magazine. I came in and kissed them both on the cheek, greeting them. I told my mama to call me when dinner was ready and I went to my room. As soon as I shut the door I kicked off my shoes, threw myself on the bed and landed with my face in Jasper's jacket. That was purely coincidental.

I rolled over on my back and I looked up at the stickers on my ceiling. They were an assortment of glow in the dark stars, Power Rangers, Barney, Rugrats, and other kids shows. All of them came from Dr. Cullen's office. When we used to go, Martha would always pocket a handful of stickers and I'd sneak and take a pocketful of suckers. We'd trade when we got home. It's a wonder nobody ever caught us, or maybe they did and didn't say anything.

Sometimes I hate reminiscing about my childhood. It's not that it was unhappy, as far as childhood's go, I'd say I had a damn good one. It just makes me think about my sister. It's been a year since she's been gone. She left right before she was about to turn eighteen. She was always bookish so she got to graduate early, we always thought it was to go to college with Maurice, we didn't know it was so they could run away together, to start a new life, a new life without me! I guess I can't blame her for wanting to get out, but still...the fact that she left was traumatizing for me. Yeah, she told me goodbye but I wasn't expecting it, and even though we fought over stupid stuff like the TV, makeup, and food... I miss her.

The phone started to ring and I hesitated picking it up, I looked on the screen and saw that the number was unknown. I decided to answer it, who knows, I might have won an all inclusive trip to Mexico or something, not that I entered in any contests.

"Hello?"

"Well hey shorty," said Martha.

"Martha! You're calling me?"

"Yeah... I have a regular phone now. I wanted to hear your voice, see if it's still the same."

"Well...it's pretty much the same. Where are you? Are you coming home soon?"

"Probably not, didn't mama tell everyone I was dead?"

"No...you're only dead to her. You know how dramatic she is though. As soon as she laid eyes on you she'd love on you."

"I don't think so. Plus, me and Maurice have settled down."

"Where?"

"Alaska...that's where I'm calling from! Maurice got a job on an oil rig and I wait at this diner. We rent an apartment right now but we're gonna get a house. It's so pretty here..."

"I bet."

"What's the matter? You sound down."

"Nothing."

"You still can't lie for shit, not even through the phone. School's not in yet...so...what happened?"

"There's this guy."

"Oooooohhh a guy! Finally gave in to Alec, huh?"

"No."

"Mike?"

"Ew triple no...this guy is new in town. Tanya's little brother."

"Well if he's got her genes he's gorgeous. Spill it."

"We talked and flirted and he forced me to admit my emotions for him and I kissed him then I heard from Nessie..."

"Aw, how is she? How is everybody?"

"They're all good. Anyway, Nessie told me that when Jasper was talking to Emmett and Edward, while she was eavesdropping, she heard him say he only flirted for fun and he didn't like me even though...even though...he made me admit it. It's like...what the fuck? I just hate this Martha... I like a psychopath."

She laughed through the receiver.

"What's so funny?"

"You...you're funny. Now seeing you, rational...tough as nails Alice, emotionally entangled would be something to come home for. Let me give you some advice. If he did all that he likes you, he just doesn't want to admit it. I say just let him sweat it out. Be nice, be friendly, and be distant. Play hard to get, and be cool, calm, and collected."

"Cool, calm, and collected?"

"Yes. It'll be a challenge for you though because you're a little spaz. Just try not to care so much."

"I am trying not to care so much."

"well... it'll pay off. I was just calling during my break at the restaurant, I need to go now if I wanna have time for pie and coffee too. Let everybody know I love em, will ya alley cat?"

"Sure sure."

"And don't let this get you down."

"Sure... "

"Love you, bye."

"Bye."


	5. Chapter 5

**Jasper**

Alice has my favorite jacket. It's warm, with deep pockets, and I've finally gotten it broken in. Just my luck as soon as I finally get it the way I want it... it gets stolen away. I guess worse things could have happened to it though, than being held captive by Alice. I just wonder what she does with it? For some reason I can just imagine her putting it on right before she goes to bed, or as she curls up on the couch to watch a movie and that makes me not miss it as much. I kinda even like the idea of her wearing it. She smells like sugar cookies so maybe when I get it back, it'll smell like her. Not that I'm dying for it to. I mean... I like her scent and that's it. I also happen to like the way she denies, with every fiber of her being that she doesn't like me, then she blushes and fights a smile when we talk. If I were in better shape I probably could like her, but right now... I know I'm no good for her.

I thought about maybe starting something new with Alice after that kiss that night. She's nice, she's pretty, and if she had the time, I'm sure we could find stuff to talk about all day. However, the issue of Maria and my shattered, but mending, heart keeps coming up. After that night... well, later over in that night, I got a call from Peter who was half drunk and probably half high,too. He told me that Maria was going around telling everyone that I was in rehab, hell, he thought he was calling me in rehab. He even argued me down and told me that I was at Brighter Days, drying out. Maria had really laid it on thick. She'd even added on some sick little side story about me trying to kill myself over her. I might have known she'd try to wreck my name to make herself look like a hot commodity. Anyways... after I found out I called Maria up, I cussed her out and felt like a bastard for doing it, then I blocked her from every mode of communication I could find... as well as most of the other people from my past life.

After that happened I didn't want to talk to anyone. I especially didn't want to be around Alice because I knew I'd probably just do something stupid to lead her on or turn her off. So I kept my distance... the only reason why I left this house, my room , or hell... even my basketball shorts is because Emmett and Edward insisted I hang out with them. Also, Tanya threatened to turn a water hose on me if I didn't stop moping. So, I started going out with them. I can't say that I forgot about Maria, but I did forget about how angry I was.

I looked at the clock... it's just past two in the morning. I bet Alice is asleep by now, which is the perfect time for me to call because she'll be pissy and irritated, and I like having conversations with her when she's like that.

"Hello," she said, her voice hoarse with sleep.

"Well hey..."

"Jasper? What do you want this time of night?"

"Just wanted to talk."

"About what?"

"Anything...I'm bored."

"So read a book or watch reruns of Three's Company."

"Actually, Roseanne is on."

"So watch that...or go to bed."

"I can't sleep."

"Well, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. I just can't sleep, and I wanted to hear you voice."

"Well you heard it."

"I really am sorry, you know."

"About what?"

"Leading you on. I just...nevermind."

"Well, you woke me up, you might as well tell me the full story."

"I um, spent too long trying to love somebody who didn't love me and I got hurt. I felt worthless."

"Well, you're not worthless... that's for sure. I'm sorry I came on so strong too. I shouldn't have kissed you."

"No... it's fine."

"No really Jasper, take my apology... I shouldn't have taken advantage of your unguarded honor that way."

"Well...thanks, I guess. I didn't mind though."

That was the truth. I didn't mind the kiss. It was sticky, from her lipgloss and I could tell she was putting a lot of thought into it. Her lip had quivered and the entire time I couldn't help but think about how I didn't want it to end. She was nervous about me, she liked me...it's something I'd forgotten was possible. At least with as much sincerity as she has. I felt like somebody, again.

"So this girl you tried to love... what happened?"

"What didn't happen. She cheated, I... well... it was a bad relationship."

"Oh... where'd you go? After the kiss I mean... I didn't see you for a week and suddenly I'm bumping into you at the dr's office, at the hut, and you're calling me. I'm confused."

"I was hanging with Emmett and Edward, but only because Tanya made me go. They are cool, but I was depressed."

"Why? What happened? That girl?"

"Yes... she's been ruining my name."

"How so?"

"Telling everyone I'm in rehab."

"She sounds like flowers in the spring."

"More like a mudslide. Anyway... I just didn't want to do anything stupid to make you hate me."

"So... since you woke me up can I ask you something?"

"I'm not telling you why I went to jail."

"Come on..."

"No. Go to sleep."

"Jasper I'm gonna kill you! I was sleeping peacefully until you woke me up, now you're telling me to go back?"

"Yup, I am. Goodnight Alice."

* * *

"Go go go, fucking go," screamed Edward as they hopped into Emmett's truck. I was in the backseat. I was observing while they were cow tipping. I can't say they were successful. They did tip some cows, but it was mostly little ones. Now the trick was to make a clean getaway before the owners came out.

Emmett took off, both he and Edward were screaming in celebration over their tiny victories. I couldn't help but laugh at them. I won't be trying cow tipping, not even when I get my other leg back, but I can appreciate the sport.

"Where to now," asked Edward.

"Hot Toddy's," said Emmett.

"What's Hot Toddy's," I asked.

"It's a wing joint in Johnson. Best around..."

It's Saturday night and I'm hanging with the guys. I guess I'm being inducted into their pack officially. They've taken me shooting, cow tipping, and now we are going out for wings. I can say that this night could be much worse.

* * *

"Come on Jasper, you can do it! Go...for...the... gold," yelled Emmett. I was polishing off my last wing and it felt like I was about to die. I'd taken Hot Toddy's Gravemaker's hot wing challenge. I had to eat ten wings with their dead man's buffalo sauce, without drinking any water. The sauce was so strong that even when the plate was sitting on the table, it was clearing my sinuses. In return for this I get my picture in the hall of fame, I get a free t-shirt and I get five free meals from this place...not to mention the fact that the wings are free.

I tossed down the bare bones of the last dead man's wing and I reached for the pitcher of water that the waitress, Carrie, was holding for when I finished. I didn't bother putting it in a glass. I just needed to cool down because my tongue, my throat, my mouth, my nose, my face, my everything from the belly button up was on fire!

People were congratulating me but I was in no shape to say thanks. I was too busy chugging and swishing the water, eating dinner rolls and celery and coating my tongue in ranch dressing, which wasn't really helping all that much. I quickly finished the entire pitcher of water and the waitresses couldn't get me another quick enough.

In between pitchers of water, one the the waitresses took a Polaroid of me for the wall, she also gave me my t-shirt and meal vouchers. At least I got that. My picture looked shitty though. My skin was tomato red, my eyes were bloodshot, with tears still streaming from them. This challenge almost made me have a heart attack! Still, it was worth it, and it was fun.

"Jasper, just when I start to think you're nice and quiet, you prove what a crazy son of a bitch you really are," shouted Edward as he clapped me on the back.

"Hell yeah, the grave maker challenge and you didn't die or puke or anything," said Emmett, "that's fucking awesome."

"Hey Em... can we head home now? Bella said Mr. and Mrs. Swan are sleeping like babies and I could sneak up, if I'm extra stealthy," said Edward.

"Like that's gonna happen, sure... we can head home. I gotta iron anyway. I'm ushering tomorrow for church."

"That sucks for you, you know Mrs. Gerandy will fake low blood sugar so you'll have to take her out. She just loves you, Emmett," said Edward.

"Shut up..."

I realized that for the first time in weeks I didn't think about my issues, maybe this is what I needed to move on... new friends, some new memories, and a new personal record. There was no way I was going to sleep now. What I really wanted was to talk to Alice, but not on the phone. I wanted to see her face, get the full effect of her squeaky voice and watch her brown eyes as they darted to me evilly, rolled around her head, and stared at anything but me. I knew that meant doing something totally crazy, that could get my ass kicked, but I was willing to risk it.

"Hey Emmett... can I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure Jaz, what's up?"

"Could you drop me off at Alice's?"

"Whooooweeee," the both said.

"Shut up... I just wanna talk to her."

"Uh huh, dirty dog, we know what kinda talkin you're gonna do... how you gonna get home," asked Emmett.

"I can manage."

"Alright."

Alice's house was smaller than any house I've ever lived in, it was white with blue shutters. It was normal and I liked it. Emmett told me which window was hers. I could see that her light was still on, so I called her.

"Jasper... what is it? You can't sleep, again?"

"No... I haven't even tried yet. I just... figured I'd visit you."

"Visit me?"

"Look out the window."

My crutch and I stepped out of Emmett's truck. I saw her eyes narrowed through the blinds and in less than a minute the front door was opening. Emmett gave me and wink and I limped towards Alice as he drove off.

"Jasper are you out of your fucking mind? My mother would kill me if she knew you were here."

"Then I guess we better not let her know... Can I come in," I asked.

She stood there for a minute, blocking the door.

"I guess so...just be extra quiet."

I nodded and we walked back to her room. It was like I expected it to be. Cluttered, yet organized. It was just full of fabrics and clothes hangers and posters and sketches, which were probably from her book. Her bed was in a corner, and by the window was her sewing machine. There was a coat rack, which held a host of dresses and other things, but what caught my eyes was my trusty jacket... on the bed, beside her pillow, wrapped around a big, chubby, stuffed bunny rabbit.

"So, you don't have my jacket?"

"Its not your jacket," she said, "when I stole it from you, it became mine. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see where you live. I wanted to lay eyes on you."

"Well... now you have. Wait, how are you gonna get home?"

"I'll walk."

"Walk? On your leg?"

"Yupp."

"Are you drunk, or high or..."

"Not drunk or high, maybe just a little crazy from taking the gravemaker's challenge."

"You took the gravemaker's challenge... at Hot Toddy's?"

"Yup... and I won it. See, look at my t-shirt..."

"Well congrats."

Alice and I stood there looking at each other Her hair was in it's signature messy bun. She was wearing a pair of pajamas shorts with little birds on them, and a tank top that didn't hide a damn thing. Especially not the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra, and the fan was making her chilly. It was a sight for sore eyes.

"Hey...my eyes are up here," she said, catching where I was looking.

"Sorry... they were staring at me."

"Well... it's your fault I'm not decent. You didn't give me any warning, just dropped by out of the blue, in the middle of the night. What if my parents had been awake?"

"I knew they wouldn't be... I felt it."

"Well...what am I supposed to do with you for the night?"

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking really... I'll go now."

"Well wait," she said as she grabbed my arm. "You're here now... I guess I'll have to find a place for you. Ah ha, I know where."

"Where?"

She pulled her bed out from the wall and there was a little space, just big enough for me to get into and deep enough that if somebody came in, they wouldn't see me. She threw a spare sheet, a blanket, and a pillow into the little crack.

When she was done she sat on her bed.

"I hope you don't think this means anything Jasper Whitlock, I'm just letting you stay because you're on crutches."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's the only reason. I just...wanted to see you Mary Alice. I guess I missed you..."

She blushed, she'd never admit it but she did. I saw it and I chuckled to myself. I realized spending the night wasn't such a good idea. Not because it would give her the wrong idea, but because it just wasn't the time for a sleepover. If I ever get my shit together, and she still wants me when I do, then there will be plenty of time for that.

"You know what... I better get home."

"You changed your mind? After all the trouble you put me through?"

"Yeah... I did. Before I go though, I gotta do something."

"Well what in the wo..."

I pressed my lips to hers, devouring her lips but not consuming them. She tasted sweet and minty like toothpaste. One of her hands was on my arm, the other was crawling up the back of my neck like a spider, in search of my hair. She didn't push me away, in fact I think we could have gone on all night. When I pulled away, her lips were red, her face was flushed, and she looked surprised, yet embarrassed.

"Oh and for the record...that's how you take advantage of someone's unguarded honor," I said, before getting up with my crutches. I felt a teddy bear hit me in the back and I just laughed, as quietly as I could while I showed myself to the door. I didn't look back but I knew she was right behind me and when I got to the door I opened it, turned back, kissed her again, and then walked over the threshold. I heard her growl and then shut the door. I walked into the dark chuckling, then I called Tanya. I knew she'd still be awake. It's not even one in the morning yet and the Hut is open til two on Saturday nights.

"Jasper, is something wrong? Oh lord... I"

"No, nothing is wrong Tanya. I just need a ride."

"From where? I thought out hanging out with dumb and dumber tonight?"

"I was but...I had them drop me off at a friend's house."

"Why Jasper Whitlock... you weren't breaking poor Alice's heart were you? She's a nice girl and I won't let you do it. Not to her. If you need to break a heart, break Jessica Stanley's."

"No, I wasn't breaking her heart. I just wanted to see her."

"Well this conversation ain't over...I'll see you in five minutes."

"Okay."

I stood in the darkness in front of a house that was for sale. I figured I'd have less chance of being arrested doing that. Tanya was right on time. I hopped into her car and she looked over at me with both a scowl and a smile.

"What?"

"Now what did you want with Alice, really? This time of night. After ten nothing but legs and liquor stores are open."

"It wasn't like that... I swear. I just wanted to talk to her in person. I wanted to tell her I won the Gravemaker's challenge a..."

"Damn boy, you won that? Congrats!"

"Thanks. I just.. I don't know what to do."

"Well either you like her, or you don't"

"See that's the thing. I like her, I could like her more, but I feel like I'll hurt her. I don't wanna miss my chance though."

"Why do you think you'll hurt her?"

"I don't know...I guess because I'm terrible at relationships."

"First off, you've only had one relationship and it was with a slut. Second, look... if you're not ready, you're not ready but if you sit around waiting for the pain to fade on its own the you're gonna be waiting forever. You gotta do stuff, get some hobbies and distractions and new loves."

"Tanya... have you ever been in love?"

She chuckled.

"I've been in love time and time again..."

"Well can I ask you something?"

"I'm not married because I'm not married. I never wanted to get married. I like having love when I want it, and loneliness when I don't."

"Oh."

"Now... what am I gonna do with you? I should ground you."

"Please don't."

"You're right...but we do need some rules to be put in place. Stricter ones. What you did tonight would have looked real bad if anybody had seen it."

"I didn't think about that."

"One o'clock curfew for the summer and weekends."

"Is there any point in arguing?"

"Hell no...I rule with an iron first."

**Alice**

"Mary Alice, you go and hug Jessica Stanley," whispered my mother.

"No... I don't like her and I won't sit here and tell a story in the house of the Lord."

"Girl... I don't know what I'm gonna do with you."

She swatted me on the behind and I went along, greeting the members of the congregation. Church is out and we are fellowshipping. As usual, for the last couple weeks, Mrs. Gerandy asked me about Jasper, and she managed to slip a dirty statement in there somewhere. Like last sunday... she asked me how he was and then she said that if she were my age he could eat crackers in her bed. I don't specifically know what that means, but I've got a feeling isn't nothing I want to stain my memory.

"Hey Alice, sugar."

"Hey Mrs. Gerandy...how are you?"

"I'm fine honey. How's Ruffalo's costume?"

"I'm almost finished. I should have it done by tomorrow afternoon."

"Good good...oh uh...how's the new beau?"  
"He's not my..."

"My goodness... I remember when I was your age. A boy like Jasper..mmm... he seems like the type who could lay it low and spread it wide..."

I was rendered speechless. I couldn't picture Mrs. Gerandy, or Dr. Gerandy being young.I just wonder what she was like... I also wonder what he must have been like to win her over if she had such a wild spirit. Either way, the thought of her with Jasper was again, something I didn't want in my head.

"Mrs. Gerandy I'll call you when I'm coming to drop off Ruffalo's outfit. I need to try it on him."

"Okay honey..."

I started to make my way outside. While I was walking I searched in my purse for a piece of gum. It seems like I never want to chew it until Sunday when I'm in church and it's not allowed. As I was rummaging I bumped into Dr. Cullen.

"Oh, sorry Dr. Cullen."

"No problem Alice. You look lovely today."

"Thanks."

"But, you look a little flushed. Are you drinking enough water?"

"I drink coke...that has water in it right?"

"You always did hate water, I guess some habits are hard to break. I'll see you later Alice."

"Alright Dr. Cullen."

I went outside to where my mother was in a circle talking with the other mothers. Specifically Bella's, Rosalie's, and Edward's. Emmett's mom died before he was even old enough to remember her. It's just been him and Coach McCarty as long as we've known.

Rosalie, Bella, Edward, and Emmett were standing around talking as well, and when they same me they all smiled like Cheshire cats. I popped the gum I'd finally found into my mouth, and I walked over.

"Good evening ya'll. I hope you're having a blessed day."

"Uh huh... some of us started getting our blessing at midnight though," said Bella.

"For your information... we had a little bit of conversation, then like a gentleman he left."

"Uh huh...like we're gonna believe that. Jasper doesn't seem like the talking type," said Edward.

"Edward, just because you only know a matchbook worth of vocabulary words, doesn't mean everyone else is held to that same, sad standard," I said.

"Oooohh burn," said Emmett.

"I should tell your mama," said Edward, "she'd put rails on your windows."

"Do it and I'll tell your mama...hmmm...there are so many things I could tell Mrs. Cullen about you. When I got done she'd probably send you to boarding school."

"Come on you two, nobody is telling on anybody," said Bella. "I happen to need both of you here, and completely free. Couldn't you try to get along?"

"Well Bella he started it, here on holy ground. I'm surprised he doesn't burst into flames. He's pure evil, that's probably why he was sweating like a whore on nickel night all through service."

Bella was standing between us. She was the only reason I didn't swat Edward with my bible. Rosalie and Emmett were no help. They were laughing, per usual. I think people might like me getting all worked up and aggressive. Everybody here is crazy as hell!

After service my mama, my daddy, and home where she'd cooked a meatloaf and mashed potatoes. The house smelled like it, and I couldn't wait to eat. I changed into knockaround clothes. Tattered leggings and an old baggy t-shirt with a faded picture of some kinda rabbit or hamster or something on the front. I went back into the kitchen and my mother was taking the food out of the stove. I decided to help her out by setting the table.

"Thank ya baby... what were you and Edward arguing about?"

"What don't we argue about? We just don't get along."

"Lord have mercy. It's not becoming of a lady to fight on church ground, or any ground for that matter... but I must say it tickles me to see you, being so tiny, going up against him. You've got spunk from somewhere Alice."

"Must be you, daddy's too lax."

"Must be. So...heard from that boy you like? Tanya's little brother."

"Mama... I don't like him. We're just friends. That's it."

"Don't lie to me Mary Alice. I might be over the hill, almost, but I'm not under it. In fact, I distinctly remember hearing a young man's voice and the click of crutches in my hallway last night."

"It was the TV."

"Lying right after service."

"Well he left... he just came by to talk."

"Well he can do his talking over the phone or email or web video... or whatever crazy thing you kids use to communicate these days. Or, he can come by during the daytime and evenings like a respectable young man."

"Well that won't be necessary Mama... because nothing's going on."

"Child you are more stubborn than a hog being dragged the the slaughterhouse," she said as she kissed my forehead and stared at me. "Go tell daddy it's time to eat, will ya?"

"Okay Mama."

Well, I'm caught. But I didn't get into trouble. That either means I can never sneak Jasper in again, or I have to find a better way to. If I said that sneaking him in wasn't a rush, I'd be lying. It was a thrill. Having him in my room, making it smell like him. I was even a little excited at the prospect of watching him sleep. I guess in time I'll get what I want.


	6. Chapter 6

_**This chapter is mostly little moments lots of time jumps and character switches. I hope ya'll like it, let me know! I like to hear your thoughts, suggestions, and predictions!**_

**Jasper**

"Well Jasper...how does it feel to have your leg back? Just in time for the fourth too," asked Dr. Cullen as he cut through the plaster with the saw.

"It feels good... will I be able to walk on it?"

"I think we better just play it safe for now and let you keep on a boot. You probably won't need the crutches, but I wouldn't go tossing them in the trash just yet. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Now... you'll probably get some pain and swelling over the next couple days but you should be just fine. I'd say it'll be gone by the big festival."

"What's so big about it?"

"Well for Forks it's a big day...probably even bigger than the town day festival. You taking Alice?"

"Dr. Cullen..."

"That's alright, you don't have to answer that. I wanna see you in about three weeks and we'll see if the boot can come off. Here, let's put it on."

"Okay. Thanks Dr. Cullen."

Standing on my hurt leg felt weird. The pressure was strange and I realized why It'd be a few more weeks before my bad leg could stand on it's own. At least my armpits would get some sweet relief from those damn crutches, and I'll actually be able to wash my leg...which actually looks pretty gross right now.

Tanya had dropped me off at the Dr. Cullen's. She said she had some sort of meeting. I knew it could be a while if it was about this festival, so I decided to entertain myself and go to the library. There's no telling what sort of selections they have here. It's little, and dusty...sorta creepy too. If I say so myself.

"Jasper what are you doing in here," asked someone from behind me. I turned around...it was Bella and she was holding a handful of books.

"Just coming to beat the heat until Tanya's outta her meeting. What are you doing here?"

"I work here."

"Oh...Well... I guess I'll go see what ya'll have in the horror section."

" I actually think you might find something you like in the self help and reference section, though."

"Self help and reference?"

I limped back, it still felt funny but guess it's something I can get used to. The only reason I found the self help and reference section was because the signs hanging from the ceiling. Otherwise, I'd have gotten lost in the maze of shelves and books.

When I finally made my way there I saw Alice, sitting in the floor with her nose pressed into a book about driving. She was really concentrating. She appeared to have been there for a while too. There were a couple of empty soda bottles and potato chip bags around her. I just stood there for a minute. I'm not sure how she didn't hear me coming, but she didn't. Watching her wasn't what I'd call fun, but it was interesting. The way she frowned as her eyes swept across the pages, taking in the sentences. Every few minutes she nodded, as if something was becoming clear to her. She really is beautiful. Not in the traditional way, at least not all the time. Her hair is always in the same messy style. She's always in some kinda patched up daisy dukes and a muscle shirt, or t-shirt, and I don't think I've ever seen her in anything but flipflops, at least not yet. Well...if you don't count the dance. She's so different from she who won't be named anymore. I mean that girl was all glitz and glamour and glitter too...the herpes of arts and crafts and makeup... while Alice is all soap, water, and sticky lipgloss.

Things with Alice have gotten a tad bit more complicated since a week and a half ago. We are still technically just friends...friends who kiss a lot. I've been like a wild animal lately. Sneaking into her house, or her sneaking into mine. It's like we can't get enough of each other. I can't get enough of her...

I must have stood there all of four minutes silently, before my body betrayed me. I sneezed, loudly. For a second, while it was happening I thought I was going to bust a blood vessel in my head or something. It had to be the dusty books that made my allergies act up. In any case, it scared Alice and she jumped.

"Holy shit on Bunny bread...what the hell... how long have you been standing here," she asked.

"About...five minutes."

"Why?"

"Studying you, studying."

"Don't be cute."

"Can I join you," I asked... sitting down before she could respond.

"Sure, I guess."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm studying for my driver's test tomorrow. I'm going driving tonight when my daddy gets off work, but I figured that I'd brush up on some rules as well."

"Oh... if I had a license I'd help."

"Oh, you can't drive either?"

"No... I can. My license is just suspended... revoked, really..."

"Oh... does this have anything to do with your dangerous past," she asked.

"Yes. It wasn't that dangerous though, more stupid."

"Uh uh... I think I've figured it out too."

"What?"

"You killed somebody. I bet you were one of those kids who killed somebody, like on Killer Kids, but you went to mental rehab and got reprogrammed and put back out into society."

"Alice!"

"What? well you won't tell me. My mind's going wild."

"I'll tell you one day. I swear."

"Well good. I see you have a boot."

"Yup. I can get around a little better."

"Well...that won't benefit me any. Once you're fully mobile again you might start showing up to my house every night.."

"You're probably right about that...but it will benefit you. You'll have more time with me."

"What makes you think I want more time with you, of all people, Jasper Whitlock?"

"You do... Anyway. About this fourth of july festival...why does this town have so many festivals? Haven't ya'll ever heard of private celebrations?"

"Not for the fourth..."

"Oh... wanna go with me?"

"Well I would...but I'm gonna be working."

"Doing what?"

"I'm doing face paint for the kiddies."

"Face paint? Need and assistant?"

"Sure sure...you can be my sidekick."

"No... you'll be my sidekick and I'd just be letting you do the work for the time being. Like Harley Quinn, and the Joker."

"What? No! We'll be like... Spongebob and Patrick. I'll be Spongebob."

"No, Patrick is too Stupid. Um you can be the... I don't know, I'm just not sidekick material."

"Well too bad, you're my sidekick, my assistant. I'm the doctor, you're the nurse. Got it?"

"Yes Dr. Brandon."

**Alice**

Books about driving, empty potato chip bags, and empty coke bottles all surrounded us while we lay on the course short-haired library carpet, rolling around with each other, attacking each other's lips. It's a good thing enlists Bella to do all the work while she sits in the office and reads Harlequin novels. It's also a good thing we are in the center of this maze of shelves. It's secluded and quiet, apart from the sound of our lips smacking. He stole my hair pin and my messy bun came tumbling down. The feeling of his fingers on my scalp was a new one, but I liked it. They belonged there. The feeling of his sweaty palms against my breasts was something new too, something completely new and I liked it even more.

It felt like I was being shocked, well, in the good way. I was buzzing with energy. Part of me couldn't believe I was making out with somebody who wasn't even my damn boyfriend. I feel like a tramp... then there's that part of me that has always wondered what being a tramp feels like. I kept going back and forth in my mind about whether to keep kissing Jasper, or whether to  
push him away. I knew it wasn't going to go further than kissing, so that made me want to keep going, and so we did.

Wet didn't describe what was happening to me, I was soaking, sopping... anything but simply wet. Him kissing my neck didn't help and feeling his hard dick pressed against the inside of my thigh only made things worse. Okay...maybe it would go farther than kissing..but not because of him, because of me. I don't know if I can stop myself. I'm all worked up, crazy...like...I'm just crazy and horny right now!

Like an angel I heard a throat being cleared. I knew without looking that it was Bella. Jasper and I jumped apart like opposing magnets. I adjusted my clothes and he sat up. I didn't need a mirror to know that I was probably redder than a baby's freshly spanked ass. As for Jasper, I could see how red his face was. He was embarrassed, and so was I, yet I couldn't help but laugh while Bella stood there with her hand on her hip, smiling at us and shaking her head from side to side.

"Well... I came back to see how your studying was going. I didn't know that you stopped studying for the driver's test to take up French."

"Mmmm... well, I think my sister should be outta her meeting by now. Alice... good luck tomorrow," he said...smiling at me mischievously with a wink.

"Yeah Jasper...see you later..." I said, trying to fight my smile

He walked out and suddenly I was just standing there with Bella looking at me like I was covered in pea green paint, or something.

"What?"

"Alice...what ya mean, what! You just had a tryst in the library. This is exciting!"

"Why?"

"It just is! So, is it official?"

"Nope..."

"Well this isn't the first time this has happened... I can tell that much. You've been keeping secrets, and I'm hurt."

"I'm sorry... I just didn't want anybody to know that I've been tramping it up."

"Tramping it up?"

"Yes... I'll tell you later. Ms. Mary might be listening."

"Well, we are going out for pizza when Rose gets off and we'll both want details."

* * *

"Damn girl, you might as well just fuck him," said Rosalie.

"Rose..shhhh! I can't do that, he's not my boyfriend."

"Uh huh... well you're making out and moving into heavy petting. You might as well."

"Nope. I want it to be special."

"Rose, she has a point. So what are you gonna do," asked Bella.

"I don't know. I can't keep making out with him like this, but at the same time I can't stop. I like the feeling."

"How many times have ya'll made out, exactly," asked Rosalie.

"I don't know. He's been sneaking into my room every night since last weekend when he did it for the first time. Or... I sneak out. It always starts the same way. We claim we just wanna be friends but it ends with an erection for him, a rushing river for me, and more confusion and frustration for us both. It's gone from 0 to 80 mph in less than a week!"

"You really have been tramping it up," said Rosalie with a gentle nudge. "I don't know what to tell you except that you only live once. YOLO... fuck him. Literally..."

"Wait until you're ready. It's your first time, let it be special," said Bella, sounding like the voice of reason.

Rosalie was sitting next to me smiling, playing the devil on my shoulder while Bella was the angel. It's usually that way. They both have valid points I guess... what Rosalie said is exactly what my body has been saying since I first saw him, really. He turns me on and I can't deny that any longer. I'm a woman and I have physical needs. Yet, I like Jasper and I don't want to be a cheap floozy. A goodtime girl. I don't want to be used! There's really only one solution to my problems. After we make out tonight, I will address the issue and if he still doesn't want to give us a shot then... I'll wean myself from our recent routine and I'll avoid him and put myself through JWA... Jasper Whitlock Anonymous.

* * *

"I was so drunk that I didn't even realize I'd spent the night in a tree, or that I'd cradled a nest of baby birds the entire night. The only reason I woke up was because the mama bird came and started pecking me," he said.

"You've been drunk a lot, haven't you," I asked.

"More than I care to speak about."

"Hmmm..."

"Hmmm what? I can hear the gears in your head turning."

"I'm just...adding more to my theory about your life of crime. Are you an alcoholic," I asked, ripping off the bandaid.

"No..." he said, tensing up a little. It was almost like he had to force the words out. "More of a um, problem drinker."

"What were your problems? Surely not all that girl," I said as I looked up at him.

We were snuggling under a blanket on the couch. I'd gone through with my plan. It took a bit of gumption for me to finally spit it out, but I did, and I'm glad I did. We've decided we are inbetweeners from now on. Dating, but not boyfriend and girlfriend. I can deal with that. It's progress. We've decided to get to know each other better because of it and the conversation has been surprising. I still don't know why Jasper was arrested, but I bet it has something to do with drinking. I just wonder what made him drink?

"No... I spent a lotta time alone. My parents worked all the time. I couldn't find loyalty. I felt pressure to be a certain way... to fit into a mold I couldn't even see."

"Because you're a rich kid?"

He chuckled.

"Yup..I brought a lot of my problems on myself though. I made life too complicated. Ya know?"

"No, I don't know...but I can imagine. Do you still want to drink?"

"Anytime an issue comes up. Withdrawing was the worst after... well withdrawing was horrible, I thought I was about to die."

He holds back a lot still, and that's okay. I realize we haven't known each other that long. He just seems so familiar. Still though, some part of me wonders if we are moving too fast... then again I don't think we are. Our forming relationship is an onion. Layer by layer we'll learn more. Gosh... that's a scary, odd notion. A relationship. A connection and commitment to somebody other than myself. Thinking about it almost makes me want to run for the hills, then again another part of me is saying "well it's about motherfucking time!"

We lay there in our own little bubble. I never imagined myself liking to cuddle and I never imagined an opportunity for cuddling in the middle of the summer. Yet and still, here I am. I pressed my face into Jasper's chest to take in his scent. I couldn't place it. Like I said before though, it's probably some expensive cologne.

"Are you sniffing me," he asked.

"Yeah, I am...you smell nice," I said.

"Thanks... you do too. Like sugar cookies."

"Yeah, it's my body spray."

"Mmm...well I like it. Wanna watch a movie?"

"I don't know...you aren't just being polite again, are you?"

"Wai...Nessie snitched on me, didn't she?"

"She just told me information she thought I'd wanna know. We're cool like that."

"She's brave, I'll give her that much. I'm watching a movie with you because...I just wanna watch a movie with you."

"Alright, but I get to pick."

"Of course."

I flipped through the book of dvd's until I found something that I couldn't resist watching.

"Steele Magnolias," asked Jasper with his face in a snarl as I handed it to him.

"Yup, it's a classic. Now put it in."

"Don't you wanna watch anything else?"

"Nope. Now run along, put the movie on."

He did as I asked but he didn't seem happy about it, which didn't really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things anyway. Before we even got to the part where Shelby has her diabetic fit, we were wrapped up in each other again.

I couldn't get enough of his lips. It's almost like I went into a frenzy trying to find them again, every time they left mine. They traveled to my neck, where I knew there were bound to be evidence of this romp, long after it was done.

"Don't give me a hickey," I said, breathlessly. He smiled up and me and shushed me before kissing my lips again and moving back to my neck. Well... I'm gonna get a hickey.

I was temporarily relieved, yet saddened, when he stopped kissing my neck. It was a thrilling feeling, but what came next topped that experience twice over. He moved lower, placing his head under my shirt. I felt his warm breath and his soft lips on my stomach. His nose tickled me and I giggled a little. I could feel him smiling. He started moving up towards my boobs, but we heard a creak. We both sat up, quickly adjusting our clothes, to look innocent. Tanya walked past, into the kitchen where she grabbed a bottled water. She didn't look put together, but even when she's drunk with sleep she's still gorgeous.

She looked at us and shook her head.

"Do I even have to say it," she asked.

"Say what sissy? We're just watching Steel Magnolias," said Jasper...with remnants of my lipgloss making his lips and cheeks glisten.

"Well then we have a problem if women falling into diabetic comas and dying turns you on. Alice..."

"Alright. Bye Jasper. Bye Tanya."

"Be careful... do you need a ride?"

"Nah.. I have thin mint."

"Okay. Take care honey."

It was a little chilly when I got outside. Well, not chilly exactly. It was warm, but the breeze was cool. It would be gone by sunrise, as soon as the big ball of gas warmed the earth.

I pedaled as fast as I could and when I got home I crawled into my window, which I left unlocked. I took off my shorts and I climbed into bed, snuggling in and staring up at my ceiling. My phone buzzed from the pocket of my shorts. I reached over and got it.

**You home yet?**

**Yup.**

**Well dream something nice Mary Alice, goodnight.**

Now I have to focus on passing my driver's test in a few hours. I went driving with my dad for two hours after having pizza with Bella and Rosalie and I did good. I always do good when I'm not being graded on my driving. I just seem to go crazy whenever I'm behind the wheel with someone judging me.

"Wait! you can't fail me, please! I had... I had an eyelash in my eye...then that bird just came outta nowhere and hit the window. Please!"

"Alice I'm sorry... you've failed this test."

"Well can't I take it again real quick. It'll only take five minutes."

I clicked the locks on the doors of the car and the test instructor rolled her eyes and looked at me with a raised brow.

"I have ten other students to test today Alice. Keep practicing and come back again."

I walked back into the DMV. I couldn't bear to walk with my head held high, so I kept it pointed towards the ground. Bella had been the one to take me this time. I guess she could instantly tell things didn't go well. I'm a bum... a loser... I can't drive.

"You'll get it next time Alice."

"Sure I will...at the rate I'm going I'll be taking this test forever. A real life Spongebob Squarepants."

Bella laughed but she covered her mouth to hide it. I turned around and walked towards her truck. I may as well have FAILURE stamped on my forehead.

This morning when I woke up Jasper had sent me a text wishing me good luck, with a little picture of a car on it. I guess I'll break the news to him, and to everybody.

**I failed my driving test...again.**

**Jasper**

"No! I said I wanted a tiger," said Edward.

"Well I'm the face painter, and I've decided that you have to get a snake. I hardly had to do any work because..you know... you already are one," said Alice with a snarky smile.

"Alright you two," I said,taking the loaded paintbrush from Alice's hand. "We have a line forming."

Edward stalked away and Nessie took his place with a smile. She sat in the chair and smiled at Alice and I.

"Nessie, this is your fifth paint job today," said Alice.

"I know... I keep getting my face painted, then I go bob for apples and it washes off."

"Oh, okay."

She handed Alice her fifty cents, and Alice handed it to me to put into the money jar. I did and then I handed her a paintbrush, dipped in light blue. The life of an assistant... So far today Nessie has asked to be made into Jacob, a piggy, a Ninja Turtle, and the apple from Fruit of the Loom commercials. Alice is no artist, but the kids seem to be satisfied with it.

"Jasper," asked Nessie.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Are you Alice's boyfriend?"

"No... She said she doesn't want me to be her boyfriend," I said... Alice nudged me in the ribs.

"He's lying Nessie."

"I think you are her boyfriend and I think you're gonna get married and have lots a babies and I'll babysit them."

"How much will you charge," I asked, entertaining her funny little thoughts.

"Um... one hundred dollars and hour."

"A hundred dollars an hour," I asked.

"Yup. Hey... remember I said lots a babies... it's hard work."

"Well if you say so," I said.

"Well what do you see for Edward and Bella,"asked Alice.

"Hmmm... I think Bella is gonna write a book and leave Edward for a hollywood hunk, then he'll be poor and sad and live in a trashcan, but I'll let him live with Jacob, in his dog house... it'll be a nice dog house too."

"You have life all mapped out, don't ya," I asked.

"Pretty much."

When her butterfly was done she got up and skipped off. Probably to go bob for more apples. She'll be back a few more times. I know it.

This festival was more fun that the other one. One thing I can say is that the people in this town sure love their eating contests. Last time it was pie eating, this time it's hot dog eating... Tonight there's going to be a firecracker display, I guess it wouldn't really be the fourth without firecrackers. I needed to pee, I was thirsty, and I wanted to call my parents. It's been a spell since I've talked to them and I want to know how the tequila is going to fare.

"Alice, I'll be right back. Can you manage without me for a few minutes?"

"Yeah..."

Nothing like draining the weasel. When I was done I washed my hands and headed for the stand where the drinks were. I got the biggest coke they had and I asked for two straws. I'm sure Alice will drink most of it.

Before making my way back to the little tent we were occupied under, I called my mom.

"Hello?"

"Hi mama..."

"Hey baby. How are you?"

"Good...I'm good. Happy Fourth of July."

"Happy Fourth to you too, baby boy. Your sister told me you're helping face paint at the festival."

"Yeah I am..."

"And she told me about the girl, Alice."

"Ma..."

"I wanna meet her next month when we come to visit, okay?"

"Okay. Hey...do they like the tequila?"

"Do they like it? It's gotten high ratings. Jasper...your daddy is on the road to dominating this business. He's talking to some stockholders and stuff now."

"Tell him I called, will you?"

"Of course baby boy... Now, I look forward to seeing you next month and meeting that girl. We could all go to Memphis for dinner and a play, or a concert in the Botanic Gardens."

"Okay mama. I'll look some stuff up."

"Alright sugar, I love you."

"Love you too Mama, bye."

After a day of painting, and eventually being painted the booth finally closed. We cleaned up and then went to enjoy the rest of the festival. I just wanted food...and something to drink because Alice ended up drinking my coke, like I figured she would.

**Alice**

We all sat at the lake,on the back of Edward's jeep, watching the fireworks go up in the air as little balls of light, then explode, making the night sky seems like daytime for a few moments. The fourth of July is officially coming to a close. The pageant season is too... at least until the fall. Jane won again and Victoria...in protest... got drunk again and is somewhere hanging onto James like he's the last man on earth.

Jasper and I held hands as we watched the last fireballs shoot up into the sky and explode, leaving behind only falling shimmers. It's been a good day and I learned something new about my almost boyfriend...he's good with kids. Not that it means anything, I just like the fact that he's not mean to them or scared of them like a lot of guys his age.

When the fireworks display was done, the real party started. Like I said, the lake might as well be Forks' very own teen club because ten minutes after the last firecracker went up, everyone but the young people were gone. My mother texted me to be safe, she probably knew I'd be staying out a little later for the bonfire. It's almost like a tradition. Even the incoming freshmen could get in on this action. It was kind of like the official initiation into the semi-adult, incredibly immature world of high school.

The lake started to fill up with people splashing around, passing love licks under the moon. Rosalie and Bella were already in the water with Emmett and Edward, and they were motioning for us to join them. Usually I'm on the sidelines watching and when I do get in I'm not in a bikini, but I thought I might try something new this time. Something that Jasper would like, maybe? Anyways, I'm sort of wishing that I'd stayed in my reliable old one piece.

"Come on slow poke," said Jasper as he took off his boot.

I could feel a lump growing in the back of my throat. I wonder if it's too late to go home? No, I've never been a coward and I won't start now! I removed the stripes and stars button down I'd been wearing today, and the red leggings came next. A tiny smile grew on Jasper's face as he wrapped his arm around me and I acted as his crutch. From the water I could hear Rosalie and Bella yelling catcalls at me. Sometimes my friends are assholes, but I love them.

After we got in and I got used to the water, which didn't take long because it's so warm, the fun began. The splashing and the chasing. A few times Jasper threatened to untie the strings of my bikini and I threatened to steal his trunks, but neither of us made good on our threats. Instead we ended up watching Bella and Rosalie compete in a fierce game of chicken. Bella and Edward lost, they always do and I suspect they always will because of Rosalie and Emmett's competitiveness.

When we'd gotten enough water we sat by one of the bonfires and roasted marshmallows and weenies. Things had gotten quiet, with the exception of the wind and the crickets. I love those sounds. I leaned against Jasper and he looked at me with something unreadable on his face as he pulled my wet hair from its bun. Moments like this should never have and expiration date.


	7. Chapter 7

This chapter is mostly Alice.

**Alice**

"These are really good," said Mrs. Whitlock.

She'd told me to call her Donna, but I don't feel comfortable doing that. Things are going well with me and Jasper's parents. His daddy is outgoing, loud, and kinda talkative. I'm surprised he doesn't have on a ten gallon hat, that's all I'm saying. Nonetheless, he is nice...they both are. Jasper happened to mention to his mama that I draw and make clothes, and she called me before they picked me up for our trip to Memphis, to insist that I bring a book of my creations along. We are in the Memphis Botanic Gardens in the Japanese Garden of Tranquility. It's beautiful, and peaceful, and though it's hot there is a breeze, so it's not that bad. I'm especially grateful for the breeze since I'm wearing a dress today. Almost nothing compares to the euphoric feeling of wind up your skirt.

"So what are you planning to do with your life," asked Mrs. Whitlock.

"Well... I know I wanna go to college, probably the University of Memphis. I think I want to major in fashion merchandising but I'm not sure."

"That's okay. I changed my major six times in college! So you and my son are getting pretty serious?"

"Well..."

"Uh oh."

"We are dating but not boyfriend and girlfriend. We're trying to take things slow."

"That's great. You come with high recommendations, you know?"

"By Tanya?"

"Yes... and by Jasper. When I asked him what you were like he went into a flurry telling me all your little quirks and what he likes about you and how you're different from his last girlfriend."

"Oh...Maria, I think that was her name. He told me a little about her, but not much. I didn't really feel it was my business."

"Well honey trust me when I say you two were like night and day. I didn't care for her. Enough about her though... Alice, I think this is the start of something absolutely lovely. Me and you need to keep in touch because I see big things for you."

"You do?"

"Yup... I do."

I don't know what she meant by that, but I do know that it made me nervous and excited. I put my photo book and my book of drawings back into my trusty backpack, and we went to find Jasper and Mr. Whitlock, who were standing on a bridge, looking out into the water. We weren't going to a concert, but a walk in this place was good enough. It was beautiful. I took pictures to remember this forever. My first time meeting Jasper's parents and it went off without a hitch.

After we left the gardens we went to Texas de Brazil for dinner. Rosalie, Bella, and I swore we'd always try this place together, but the moment is here and I can't turn it down. The never-ending steak, the potatoes, and the mouthwatering Chocolate Mousse Cake which I ended up splitting with Mrs. Whitlock... I ate like a pig and loved it. I wasn't alone though, everybody did and I was glad of it. At least now I can tell Rose and Bella how awesome this place is.

**Jasper**

On the ride back my mama went to sleep on the passenger side like she usually does during road trips. My father hummed a song, probably one made up from his own mind, Alice was looking at me when I wasn't looking at her, and out the window when I was. I was busy looking at the scar on her thigh. I didn't know why I'd never noticed it before...her shorts are usually shorter than the dress she has on. I guess just inattentiveness. I decided to break the ice and talk to her. In a way, at least. I texted her.

**Did you have fun today?**

**Yes, I did. Your parents are nice. Your mom said she sees big things for me, what does that mean?**

**No clue. Maybe she wants .**

**Not funny! I ate too much. I feel like I'm gonna die.**

**Me too. So, think dinner with your parents will go smoothly?**

**lol. Oh, you haven't really met my mother, have you?**

* * *

My mama kissed me on the forehead and my daddy clapped me on the back. They are leaving, getting back to the real world. They both kissed Tanya as well. Before stepping off of the porch my father hugged me again.

"Stay outta trouble, do good in school and I'll find a way to get your license back. You might even get a car if you're extra good."

"Thanks daddy..."

"Alright now... see ya'll later. Tanya, keep being tough on him."

"No worries daddy, I rule with an iron fist."

My father chuckled as he and my mother got into their rental car and took off, disappearing from sight and sound. They were here for a weekend. Now it's Monday morning and they have lives to get back to. I miss them and I didn't realize how much I did until now. This isn't a new sensation though, even when I lived at home I missed them. I was always with a nanny or a sitter, until I was twelve, then it was just me.

We went back into the house. It was too early to be awake but I knew I wouldn't be going back to sleep without something to eat. Tanya went into the kitchen and I heard pots and pans and skillets. I followed her in, limping with my boot. She was mixing up pancake batter. This is going to be a good day. I'm nervous though. I have dinner with Alice's family tonight. Her mama thinks the worst of me already because I snuck in, but she's giving me the benefit of a doubt because she likes Tanya, and because I'm the first guy Alice has ever been involved with. I hope I don't blow it.

* * *

"Well Alice, that is a reasonable question, he's here and not in Texas for some reason," said Mrs. Brandon.

"Mama! That is personal! Be nice, you promised you'd be nice! Please?"

"Fine fine fine... Jasper what are your grades like?"

"I have a 3.5 ma'am."

"Alice has a 3.8."

"Margaret," yelled Alice's father.

"I'm sorry... it's just that... we don't know much about you son. You're new to town, no history. I'm just trying you figure out what kinda boy you are. I don't want my Alice getting in trouble or hurt or anything. She's the only daughter I have, you know... we lost my other daughter tragically."

"Mama! Martha is not dead! She's in Alaska."

"Jasper...you do understand don't you, where I'm coming from as a mother?"

"Yes ma'am, I can respect that. I'm young and I've made some bad decisions, but you can rest assured that I'm on the straight and narrow now."

"Well, that's good to hear. You going out for any sports?"

"No ma'am...but I was talking to Alice here and it seems Forks High doesn't have a volunteer program. So, I was thinking I might start one. Since you are an educator and a pillar of the community, I thought you might tell me something that needs to be done around here."

"That is a good idea. Good lord, there's so much. There's painting, delivering stuff to the old folks and the sick,helping look after the kids during the night school and evening GED classes. Wait, how you gonna get them to do it?"

"Mrs. Brandon, you'd be surprised what some people would do for free food, letters of recommendation and a t-shirt."

I looked over to Alice who had a strange smile on her face. I'd like to say that she looked shocked, astonished even. I think Mrs. Brandon was on my side now, she warmed up to me. Mr. Brandon was cool as a cucumber, mostly. He was friendly and round and really calm.

After dinner Alice and I sat on the porch, eating her mama's lemon creme cake and watching the lightening bugs glow.

"You impressed her, I can tell."

"Well good... I wanted to impress her. She drives a hard bargain."

"She does... she used to be a bit more lax, but after Martha ran away she really doted on me. Sometimes I honestly think, she thinks, that Martha is dead."

"She's probably just hurting, that's all. This is good cake."

"I know," she said. "Oh, and I put the the icing on."

"I thought I tasted just a hint of vinegar, though."

"Oh shut up! You tasted no such thing Jasper. We only have three and a half weeks until school starts. Are you ready?"

"Yeah... I am. Nervous though. When I went to register the ladies were looking at me like I was a piece of meat."

"Because they probably wanted to devour you. You forget you're the hot new guy, don't you?"

"The hot new guy?"

"Yup..."

"Then I reckon there much be some broken hearts out there because I picked you and not them."

"First of all, I picked you, Whitlock. Second of all...there might just be..."

We sat out until her mama said it was getting late, and that she had to go inside. I texted Tanya to come pick me up and Alice sat outside with me until she arrived. It was quiet, not in a bad way either. I didn't feel the need to fill in the spaces with a jumble of words, or a joke. We were enjoying "just being."

**Alice**

Rosalie, Bella, and I are going to Memphis. I'm wearing my hair down, but I'm still wearing my daisy dukes, my patchwork quilt of a backpack, and my flip flops. There are some elements of summer that I won't shake until the first Autumn leaves fall.

"Now ya'll be careful downtown, you know them panhandlers are vicious."

"I know Mama, I know."

"Alright. You need some money?"

"No Mama, I have enough."

"Alright...ya'll be safe."

My mama kissed my cheek, swatted my butt, and sent me on my way outside, where Bella was waiting in Edward's jeep, which we were borrowing for the day. I hopped inside, buckled my seatbelt, and we took off on the road to adventure. This is my second time going to Memphis this week. Next time I think I might just stay there for good.

"Get down deeper and down get down get deeper and down!"

"Saturday night!"

Once we passed the "Welcome to Memphis" sign on the interstate, we started to get excited. Bella cranked up the radio and popped in a Spice Girls CD. We came to life, bouncing and bobbing in the car. Our first stop was naturally to get breakfast. Donuts were on the menu. I got two chocolate, and a chocolate milk. When I bit into it, it made me think about the other night with Jasper and I when we had fudge sundaes and watched Never Back Down when I snuck out, after he met my parents. It was fun. Of course we kissed a little, but nothing quite as steamy as what we'd formerly been up to. This time Tanya didn't have to kick me out. By the end of the movie Jasper had fallen asleep. I spent the end credits studying him in this perfected state. It's the only time I can really stare at him and not creep him out, or let him think I'm turning mush on him. It's bad enough that I'm ass over skull for him, but he doesn't have to know it.

After filling ourselves on bread and sugar and milk and coffee, we went to the mall to start the beginning of our day of shopping. it wasn't really crowded, then again, it was still early. I suspect it will be teeming with people around lunchtime.

"Does this make me look like a whore," asked Rosalie from the fitting room stall. She had on a dress with cut outs in several sections. It wasn't a bad dress...it just wasn't a dress for her... or anybody else.

"Yes, take it off," I said. "Bella, aren't you going to try on your clothes?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. That would be a no. Bella never tries on anything. She goes on hope alone and if it doesn't fit, she somehow makes it fit. She doesn't like to go shopping, but with it being in memphis, and this city being full of stuff to do, she was eager to come on the trip. Besides, any reason to get outta Forks is a good one.

Rosalie came out again, this time in a bustier and a super short skit.

"Does this make me look like a call girl?"

"You look like Julia Roberts, in pretty woman..." said Bella.

"uuuuugghhhh!"

As usual, Rosalie hates everything she tries on. She will go through almost every outfit in the store and end up with what she always ends up with whenever we go shopping anywhere...jeans and shirts. Bella had those same things, but she's more straightforward about what she wants, at least.

After we'd gone to about every store we ended up with a few bags a piece. I mostly got stuff that was on sale, or damaged. It's not the act of buying clothes that gets me excited, it's the thought of taking them home to my laboratory of fabric and making a beautiful frankenstein's monster out of each individual piece. Speaking of which...

"Ya'll... we gotta go to Claire's," I said.

"Why," asked Rosalie.

"I promised a little friend of mine something."

"I don't even have to ask who," said Bella. "What'd she sucker you into buying her? She made me promise to bring her back some cookies from the Great American Cookie."

"She made me promise to buy her some kinda accessory to go with the jacket we made. It's pink and loud and I don't know where else I can go for something pink and loud and child appropriate."

"Hmmm... I don't think she likes me very much," said Bella.

"She likes you," I said. "It's Edward she's not fond of...in fact she said she pictured you writing a book and being rich and famous while Edward becomes homeless."

"The kid has spunk," said Rosalie.

After getting everything we came for, including Nessie's cookie we left the mall to explore the rest of the city. Well, at least the downtown portion of the city.

* * *

The traffic was hell. Our GPS went completely crazy once we got down here, so we were on our own. We ended up turning down one way streets several times, and even doing some donuts in them. The trolleys were in the way and the horse and buggies were too. It was a blessing when we actually found Beale Street and a parking garage.

The coolness of the morning had completely worn off by now, it was the afternoon and hot as fuck. There were people walking around with these huge drinks, I'd seen a few of them the other day, but now there were more. They were so big, that they had a lanyard you could loop around your neck to carry em like a necklace.

We wandered around there for a bit. Going into cramped, gaudy little gift shops. I bought some more stuff that I didn't need. Mostly it was little trinkets and souvenirs. We had enough pictures to last three lifetimes. Sometimes Bella gets a little trigger happy with the camera and we all end up flashed and snapped.

After walking around on the street, going into the mall there, and coming out again...we were all dying for something to eat. Since I broke our pact and tried Texas de Brazil without them, they decided to make Edward and Emmett take them, and we went to the Spaghetti Warehouse instead. Getting down there was difficult, well not so much difficult as it was confusing. But once we were there parking was a dream and the wait wasn't long.

When we stepped inside I half expected a Mob boss to be sitting in the corner with his flunkies, planning some kind of hostile takeover. There was italian music blasting from the speakers, with the signature red and white checkered table clothes to give it that authentic look, then for a splash of style, I'm presuming, there was the frame of a trolley car in the middle of the restaurant. Naturally Rosalie, liking to feel special, went to the those seats.

Our waiter was nice and he got to us quickly. Though, he did almost witness Rosalie and I fighting over the bread and butter they served as an appetizer. What can I say? The place has good butter... Nothing beats the end of a girls day out like a good meal.

"I just... do y'all ever feel like life is boring," asked Bella.

"Yup," said Rosalie and I.

"I just want something exciting to happen. Oh my gosh... we should start a rap group and become famous," yelled Bella.

"Yeah... I'll be the Dj shorty from the 1's and 2's," I said.

"I'll be blondie... the thug," said Rosalie.

"Well who will I be," asked Bella.

"You can be...ring, the intellectual," said Rosalie.

"What," asked Bella.

"Ring... your name is bella, bells ring, and you're like...super smart," said Rosalie.

"Ring, shorty, and blondie... coming through to start the party," said Bella.

We'd eaten our meals. I was filled to the brim with pasta and coke and bread and that tasty butter. By the time we got the check and were leaving, I knew I wouldn't be any help to anybody on the way back. Sleep was calling me. No telling how much walking I'll have to do to keep the food from these Memphis restaurants from showing up on the scale.

The ride on the way back was quiet, with the exception of Rosalie's loud snoring. It was just the sound of the car, and the wind as the jeep cut it in half on the way back to Forks. I'll be glad to see my bed.I called my mother to let her know we were safe and on the way back when we stopped for gas.

"Well it took you forever to call your poor mama. I've been worried sick all day!"

"I'm sorry mama. I just got caught up in shopping. I got you something. A scarf and brooch I think you'll like."

"Well if you're bringing gifts I guess I can't be too mad at you. Tell Bella to drive safe. See you in a few. Love you."

"Love you too Mama."

By the time we got back to Forks, Rosalie decided that she had to pee, and she couldn't wait until we got to one of our houses, so we were stopping at the grocery store to let her empty her bladder. However, we couldn't get through the the grocery store. The stop light was crowded by police lights and ambulances and people were gathered around. There were a slurry of people rushing around.

"Be right back, I'm going to ask my dad what happened," said Bella.

She got out of the car. I couldn't really see anything because of Charlie and Billy's cruisers, but I could tell that there was a wreck. There was shattered glass everywhere... chunks of the sidewalk were gone. Some people were standing outside looking, with their hands over their mouths while others just stared on in tears. Did someone die?

"I wonder what's going on? Geez, I'm about to piss my shorts," said Rosalie.

"I don't know. Whatever it is...must be bad. Look at everybody."

Bella emerged a few minutes later... she was crying. My first thought was that Emmett and Edward had gotten into an accident. Sheriff swan headed for the jeep we were in. I looked back at Rosalie whose face had turned pale. We both stepped out.

"Sheriff Swan what's going on," asked Rosalie.

"Alice... I think you might need to sit down."

"Why? What's the matter?"

"..."

"Sheriff Swan, what's going on," I asked.

"Your mama and daddy were coming from eating at Chubby's... I'd just seen them."

"What are you saying?"

"James ran a light and hit them going full speed in his pick up."

"No... No!"

I ran past Sheriff swan, past Billy and the other officers. Victoria was being loaded into the ambulance, she was unconscious. On the ground, bloodied and lifeless were my parents and James in body bags. I ran over to my parents bodies and I kneeled between them...placing my hands on them both. I begged them not to leave me, I pleaded with them to come back from wherever they'd gone but I got no response. Their chests weren't moving up and down with the breath of life. My mother wasn't fussing on me, or eying me suspiciously, or telling me to get off the kitchen counter while I ate my cereal...and she never would again. My father would never come to my defense, or tell embarrassing stories about the first time we went fishing and I smacked myself in the head with a catfish... they are gone.

I got up and I started walking back... I didn't know where I was going. Maybe to the jeep. I didn't make it though. My legs failed me, but I didn't hit the ground because I was being held up by Bella and Rosalie who were both crying. Somebody has to tell Martha that we're orphans now.

*******  
Martha was in front of the caskets, looking down at our parents crying and screaming apologies. Maurice was trying to coax her away. I couldn't move. I was squeezing Jasper's hand and I had my arm looped around Bella's and I knew that if I moved a muscle of even tried to vocalize one word I would lose it completely. I was trembling just trying not to sob. Ever since that night... I've been trying to hold it together.

Dr. Cullen and Esme were the beneficiaries... so they helped me plan the service. I decided that we'd have one and they'd be said goodbye to together. It was a grueling process. Even worse than that though, has been all the damn southern hospitality in this town. People have been at my house from sunup, until sundown since the accident. I'm grateful for their good intentions but I'm tired of being polite, and being hugged and looked at with furrowed brows and pitiful eyes. I don't mind too much the Hales, the Swans, the Cullens, or the Whitlocks being over  
, but having everyone else in my space has been exhausting.

Minister Weber said a final prayer and final words and then the service was over. The graveyard workers came to start lowering them into the ground. I didn't want to watch but I couldn't move from the chair they'd sat in front of the two six feet holes. Jasper grabbed my hand.

"Do you really wanna stay and watch this," he asked.

"I don't know."

"I'll stay here with you... we all will."

"No... I want to go."

Before I left I got a flower from each of their flower arrangements and I left. I'd ridden with Martha and Maurice, in their scooby doo van. When I got there Jasper helped me into the car and promised to see me at my house. Martha was fanning herself and Maurice was looking over at her with concern. The ride back to the house was quiet. When we arrived there were cars everywhere. I could just imagine them all with casseroles and ham and jello molds and cakes. I didn't really want to eat right now. I just wanted... I don't know what I wanted. Not this though.

When I got in the house I said hello to whoever was in my path, and then I went straight to my room where my friends, and Jasper were already sitting. Bella and Rosalie know where my spare key is, so my guess is that they let everyone in.

"Hey girl...feeling any different than you were ten minutes ago," asked Rosalie.

"Nope..."

"Where are you going to stay," asked Bella.

"I don't know. I mean...the house is Martha's, but she's already said she can't stay here. They'll probably sell it so either I'll be homeless here or move to Alaska with them."

"What? Hell no," said Rosalie. "We'll adopt you, you're not going any damn place."

"I don't know what to do. I don't know what's going to happen. One minute I'm normal, the next I'm not and the only thing I keep thinking is that I wanted James to live so that I could murder him myself! Then there's all these people and all this food! I don't want to go out there. If I see another fucking candied yam or candied ham I'm going to start killing people my damn self."

"Well don't worry. If you want I can take them all off your hands," said Emmett.

"Take whatever you want...except anything Tanya made... I might get hungry later."

We could have been in my room, huddled together, talking and not talking for half an hour, or three hours. Time seemed to disappear, skip, jump, and go in reverse the last couple of days. The only thing that brought any of us from the room was a knock at the door. It was Esme, and Dr. Cullen.

"Hi... everyone could we please see Alice and Edward alone, for a few minutes," asked Esme.

Everyone left except Edward, who was sitting on the floor looking as stupid as this day is hot. Esme and Dr. Cullen came into my room. I was sitting on the bed, they stood in front of me. Both moved nervously and they fidgeted. They looked at each other, as if waiting for a cue. Esme cleared her throat and nudged Carlisle.

"Mama, Daddy... what's goin on here," asked Edward.

"Son... Alice... before we tell you two what we are about to tell you, just realize that we all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect."

"Alice, after your sister was born your parents went through a rough patch in their marriage. That happened to be the same time that Esme and I were going through a rough patch. Your mother, and I... Margaret and I... we ended up at the same bar in Johnson."

"The moonshiner," asked Edward.

"Yes..." said Carlisle.

"Things happened... it was a one night stand. We were both embarrassed and we were both lucky enough to have spouses who were willing to work on the relationship and forgive us."

"What are you about to tell me," I asked... fearing the words that were to come next.

"I'm your father Alice... your biological father."

"This isn't true! Esme, this can't be true."

"It's been tested... as soon as you were born you were tested," said Carlisle.

"Of course we wanted you to know," said Esme. "We wanted you and Edward to be able to grow up together, play together as siblings but...Margaret thought it best that you grow up as if Bob was your natural father to keep you from being labeled," said Esme. "You were the only reason we stayed in Forks."  
"This is some kinda joke right," asked Edward. "This has to be a joke? Right," yelled Edward, getting up from the floor.

"Son, calm down... Like I said, we all make mistakes. Live a little longer and you'll have some of your own," said Carlisle.

"So I'm a lie...my entire life is a lie," I said.

I'm an orphan. I'm not an orphan. My father wasn't my father. My mother was an adulteress and my doctor is my daddy. It feels like I've stepped into some fucked up soap opera. The heat started to get too hot, even with the fan. I felt like I was closed in and being shaken. My vision started to blur, maybe from tears, but maybe not. I could hear my heartbeat in my ear as well as Dr. Cullen's voice as he realized I was about to face plant into the carpet. On the way down I did feel myself hit the edge of the table, and that's all she wrote.

* * *

I woke up with a towel on my head. Esme was hovering over me humming. She wasn't smiling, nor was she frowning. She simply seemed to be examining me.

"The birthmarks on the back of your neck... that's a family birthmark. You, Carlisle, Edward, Nessie...you all have them. His father had them too, the same size, shape, color, and place."

"It wasn't a dream?"

"No...it wasn't, I'm afraid. I'm sorry this is all happening at once but once your sister leaves for Alaska, you'll have to move in with us."

"My house..."

"It's your sister's. She wants to sell it and give you half the money. I told her it wasn't necessary, but she insists."

"Does she know?"

"She does now. We...let her read the letter your mother meant for you. We were going to give it to you, but you were blacked out before we could."

"Aren't you pissed? Don't you hate me?"

"No... I wasn't so innocent either, if you can believe it. I wasn't thrilled when my husband told me he'd gotten another woman in this town pregnant but I dealt with it. When we went to see you in the hospital you looked just like Carlisle. You were identical to , the older you got, the more you started to look like your mother."

"Please tell me his father is somebody else too."

"Fraid not... I couldn't hate you Alice. I only wish we'd been able to be apart of each other's lives this way sooner."

"Did you hate my mother?"

"At first... we got into a fist fight, ya know? When we were both pregnant. We had it out. Eventually though we came to a peace treaty. Then... we made an alliance. In the end we sort of became...friends. We were both guarding a secret, both holding a life, several lives...in our hands."

"I don't know what I feel."

"That's okay. We know this is a lot to handle. Moving in will be a lot to handle...but we'll all try Alice."

"What will people say?"

"Well... you're almost grown now. Who cares? Though I suspect they'll probably just think we adopted you."

"Oh."

"Are you hungry? Thirsty? Jasper said you haven't been eating."

"I haven't had an appetite. I'm hungry but... I don't wanna eat. Where is everyone?"

"It's midnight. Everybody is gone home. We had to run Bella and Rosalie out with a blowtorch. Your sister and Maurice are still awake. Carlisle has taken Nessie and Edward home. Jasper is sitting outside the door. He's been there since you fainted."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh..."

"I'll send him in. I'm going to go fix you a plate."

"Okay."

I sat up and my head spun a little. It also pounded. I happened to notice there was something other than a towel on my head. It was a bandage. Right... I'd hit my head on the table on the way down.

Jasper came into the room looking disheveled. His suit pants had wrinkled. He wasn't wearing any shoes... well, he was hearing his boot, but that doesn't count. His honey-colored curls were a frizzy mess, his shirt was untucked and his tie was around his neck like a scarf.

"Well you look like shit," I said.

"I've been sitting out there for hours worrying about, ya know."

"Why?"

"I've been worried about you since the other day when it happened. Talk to me."

"I don't know what to say Jasper. I'm scared... I'm scared of the future. I'm scared to leave my house, the house I've always known...to go live with the Cullens. I just want my mom and the dad I always thought was my dad and I want my sister to not sell the house and I want to not feel like this anymore."

Jasper held me to his chest. Smelling his cologne was comforting to me. It's familiar and I need something familiar right now. My entire world has changed. It's amazing how taking only two people from the equation throws everything else out of whack, out balance, out of orbit.

I heard Esme's heels clicking. I didn't raise up my head to look at her but I could tell that she had food. I smelled it. I heard Esme's heels clicking away and Jasper nudged me up.

"Eat please," he asked.

"I don't want to..."

"Please," he begged. "If you eat at least half of this plate I'll tell you why I was arrested the first time."

I chuckled at the barter. I nodded my head and he moved the fork closer to me. I can't remember being spoon fed, so it was strange, but Jasper was careful and very persuasive. Before I knew it I'd eaten everything.

"When I was thirteen I stepped in front of police crusier naked and I shook my willy like there was no tomorrow."

"You were drunk?"

"Incredibly."

**Well what did you think?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Alice**

"Oh my gosh, you did look like Carlisle as a baby, I wonder why nobody got all suspicious and gossipy," asked Martha.

"I don't know."

"Well see, babies change faces. My mama said that for the first week of my life I was I looked completely different from anyone in my family, before I started looking like her, before I started looking like my daddy," said Maurice.

"Well...maybe that's it. Maybe I changed faces, or something."

"This is so ridiculous that if it wasn't sad, it'd be funny," said Martha.

She was right. This is like an episode of Jerry Springer except my mother is dead. It's been a week. I have packed up everything in my room and shipped it over to the Cullens' house. Maurice is leaving tomorrow to go back to Alaska to work. Martha has a little more time off so we are squaring everything away. Sifting through our parents' belongings deciding what to keep, what the give away, and what to toss in the trash. I called dibs on her perfumes, and powders, and jewelry. Martha wanted her scarves, and shoes, and makeup. The clothes, what we didn't keep for memory, were mostly donated. The same went of my father's things.

Before now I wouldn't have known that it was possible to get boxes and crates and carts and bags and load up a life, a lifetime, and memories and take them from one place to another. I'd always considered this house home, because it was, but it's not anymore...it's just a house. My parents were what made it home and now there are none. I have a place to lay my head, but I have no home.

* * *

"I love you Alice... Be good... I'll see you Thanksgiving. Okay?"

"Okay. Bye Martha. Love you too."

Martha stayed an extra week to help get everything packed up and squared away. She decided not to sell the house. Instead, we'll be renting it out and I'm supposed to keep an eye on it.

Nothing feels right anymore. I mean, some days I wake up and I'm okay. I think I'll be able to get through it, then other days I feel like I don't want to even open my eyes and greet the day.

Martha got into Esme's car and they both waved as they drove away on their journey to the airport. It's the first day of school and I can't say I'm looking forward to it. I just can't find my enthusiasm for the blabbing teachers, ringing bells, and chattering girls talking about lipgloss and kinky sex tips from Cosmo. I haven't really been that into interaction lately. Not from anyone. Bella and Rose keep trying to cheer me up with videos and pictures and text keeps asking me where I've gone and what he can do to help. Nessie and Jacob sit outside my door sometimes and read books to me, I've heard Charlie and the Chocolate factory three times. I want to tell them all what's wrong but I don't know how. I was so glad to have everyone there after the death and during the funeral but a few days after, once I got settled into the Cullens', once I realized again that my parents were gone... I just stopped wanting to be around people. My time with Martha was even split in two because of my need to hole up and hide from the world in darkness with the orange glow of black and mild cigars as my only source of light.I pay Edward to bring me a pack a day. I smoke now...

I heard whisper to Esme that he thinks I'm depressed and that should be seeing some counselor in Memphis. Esme thinks that I just need time, and love, and nourishment. Rosalie seems to think that I need to get drunk or get into a fight, she suggested beating up Jessica Stanley, but even the thought of knocking her lights out does nothing for me these days. Maybe I'm a lost cause.

I walked to the back of the house, schlepping my backpack with my journal whose pages were filled with irrational looking handwriting that can't be my 've been no new designs made. My sewing machine is in the case, where it's been since the day of the move. I haven't touched it. I haven't really unpacked fully. I keep saying maybe tomorrow, but I know it won't get done then, either. Maybe I'll do it this weekend.

I went back into the house where Nessie was begging Dr. Cullen for a second helping of Lucky Charms. Jacob was lying by the kitchen table waiting for scraps and Edward was cracking raw eggs and mixing them in a glass. ICK!

"Alice, you should have some breakfast," said Dr. Cullen.

"No thanks..."

"It's a house rule."

"Yup," chimed Nessie, "breakfast is the most important meal of the day and daddy says everybody has to eat it."

"You can't live on cigarettes alone Alice..."

"I don't smo..."

"Don't lie about it. I don't like the fact that you smoke and you know the risks but I can't stop you if you want to kill yourself slowly. Breakfast, now."

I plopped down at the table and poured myself a bowl of lucky charms. It tasted good but I didn't want it to. What gives him the right to make me eat breakfast and call me out on my vices? He's just lucky I happen to love Lucky Charms. The crunch of the cereal, the sweet chalkiness of the marshmallows and the cool relief of the milk had me wishing this bowl was bottomless. When I was done I drank the milk.

"The problem is that I just don't know what she's thinking sometimes. She such a mystery to me. One minute she's living for the here and the now, and the next she says we have to think about the future. What's going on in Bella's mind," asked Edward. "You're her best friend so I'll know you'll know...and since blood is thicker than water you have to tell me."

"I don't have to do anything Edward..."

"I won't get you anymore black and milds."

"I'll get my own. Dr. Cullen knows now anyway."

"Could you stop calling him that? It's weird."

"It's not weird. What the hell am I supposed to call him?"

"I don't know dad, daddy, papa..."

"Papa? Why would...nevermind."

"Pops, father, daddy-o..."

"Dr. Cullen."

"Are you still in denial?"

"No, he's my biological father...if it's the truth then it's the truth. I've faced facts but that doesn't mean I'm calling him dad."

"Okay... okay...It'd mean alot to him though, you know?"

"Bella is complicated but I'm sure if you actually listen to what she's saying when she talks, you'll be able to keep up with the direction of her conversations."

"I do listen."

"Well listen closer."

As luck would have it, Edward is the chatty type. I just wanted to listen to my music and look out the window for the remainder of the ride to school, but that didn't happen. After we dropped Nessie off at school he bombarded me with questions about Bella. I'd always thought their relationship was the best around but I guess everyone has problems.

**Jasper**

"Lord have mercy, mama is gonna kill me for letting you get this thing. You'll probably break both of your legs this time," said Tanya.

"Relax sissy... I'll be fine. I know how to handle this scooter. Plus it beats having to bum rides."

"Well just be careful and wear your helmet!"

"You got it."

I secure my extra helmet to the back of the scooter before putting on my own. I made sure my backpack was zipped before putting it onto my back. I waved to Tanya and then I took off, going as fast as a vehicle that doesn't go over 30mph would go. Still, the feeling of having some kind of wheels of my own was liberating. I'm just glad it got here in time for the first day of school.

* * *

I have English with Emmett and Edward, we have been assigned to be in each other's reading group. I can tell this will be interesting, especially considering the fact that we have to put on a skit based on a scene in Frankenstein. Emmett has nominated himself to play the monster. I take Home Economics with Rosalie. The only other boy in the class was Mike Newton and we ended up stationed together. There was a lot of evil eyeing and huffing and puffing from both of us until I just suggested we put the past behind us. He reluctantly agreed...even apologizing will be easier than making the cake and a casserole the teacher said is required of us this year. I have Biology with Bella and we'll be dissecting these poor little fermented rat fetuses. I don't like rats, but it just seems wrong. The only other things I have left are lunch and mythology, I have both with Alice.

I miss her.

Of course I can't replace her parents or heal her wounds but I want to be with her, around her...even if she's not talking or blinking or moving. Here I go again...getting all involved and letting myself be open.

I was walking toward the cafeteria but I happened to see a familiarly short stature and a messy bun going through a set of chipped red metal doors. I followed her and ended up at a dried up swimming pool.

"Ditching your friends," I asked.

She jumped and turned around to look at me. A smile spread across her face for only a second before it faded.

"Hey," she said

"Why are you in here?"

"I don't know...to think. I'm sorry I've been pushing you away."

"It's talk?"

"I don't know."

"Wanna sit quietly in an abandoned pool?"

She chuckled.

"I need you to help me," she said.

"Do what?"

"I need to quit smoking...after I finish this last black and mild I need to quit."

"Well I'll help you out, don't smoke that last one. Just quit or else when we're older we'll both be on the transplant list, you for a lung and me for a liver."

"Dr. Cullen made me eat breakfast this morning."

"Wow...he sounds like a terrible person for wanting you to have the most important meal of the day...they should take away custody and his medical license."

"Jasper don't be sarcastic. Who does he think he is though? Bossing me around! 'Alice, it's house rules that we eat breakfast' grrr," she growled, after doing her very poor imitation of Dr. Cullen.

"He's your dad, that's who he thinks he is. He's probably been waiting a long time to tell you stuff like that."

"He's my biological father...not my dad."

"Well...Nevermind."

"No, go on and say it."

"He cares about you, it's better than having no parents Alice."

"You're right... I wish I could feel that way."

"It'll get better Mary Alice..."

* * *

"and I think that if we all make the commitment to do just a little bit, a few times a week and maybe a couple weekends out of the year... we could make this town better," I said. People have been receptive. I've had quite a few show up the my volunteer club meeting. Emmett and Edward sat in the front row, asking ridiculous questions. Alice sat off to the side, she seemed to be in better spirits since I last saw her. I guess maybe the happiness and sadness comes and goes.

"If there are no more questions..."

"So, you said we could apply to be committee leaders," said Rosalie. "How do we do that? Do ya just interview us or something?"

"No... actually you'd talk to our sponsor for this, Ms. Sue and she'd decide the committee leaders."

"Okay... everybody listen, and listen good, I'm applying for committee leader for nightschool babysitting so don't even think about it," said Rosalie...threatening the audience.

"That's my girl," said Emmett.

"Alright..if that's it th..."

"Well can we start a committee," asked Bella.

"Like what," I asked

"Like... a book delivery system to people in the nursing homes and hospitals."

"That's a good idea actually. Set it up and it's all yours."

"Well I have an idea," said a guy whose nametag read Embry.

"Alright."

"Providing hot chicks to lonely guys," he said with a snarky grin as he elbowed a guy beside him whose nametag read Embry.

"Yeah...they have something like that, it's called prostitution jackass," said Bella with an eyeroll and a huff.

"Hey, it was just an idea."

"Alright well...that concludes this meeting."

I think I might be in over my head, but I think this has the potential to work. Everybody seems really into it. These are certainly some characters, that's all I'm going to say. I started putting my clipboard into my backpack. I've always wanted a reason to have a clipboard and now I do. I feel official.

"So, do you feel like the boss," asked Alice.

"No... I don't. I'm not. I'm just here to keep the order. Rosalie, that's the boss."

"You're probably right."

"What committee are you gonna be on?"

"I don't know. pick one for me."

"Well that's an easy choice. You'll just go where I go."

"How do you know I wanna go where you do," she asked.

"You asked me to pick and since I'm drifting, as my girlfriend you have to drift too. Shit!"

I didn't mean to say it, it was on the tip of my tongue, it came out. I didn't mean to say that. Stupid Jasper... now things are going to be complicated. She doesn't need drastic changes right now. I'm so stupid! Always rushing into things, like the last time...that's what happened, I rushed things and I'm doing it again. i just decided that we had moved to the next chapter and I didn't ask her or anything. I've probably scared her away.

I was so busy panicking and thinking of something to say that I didn't even realize she was laughing at me.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because...you're...coming apart over nothing. It's funny."

` "It's not funny Alice."

"I'm sorry but you're usually the calm, cool one... I'm sorry."

"Ha ha ha ...that's really funny. So, are you or aren't you?"

"Can we talk about this in private?"

"Sure. Follow me."

"Are you gonna have Tanya take us somewhere?"

"No. I have wheels of my own."

"What?"

"I got a moped. Sheriff Swan said I wasn't breaking any laws by driving it without a license because it only goes thirty miles per hour. It's better than walking though."

"I didn't know that."

"You've been in your shell, remember?"

Alice took off her helmet and handed it to me. Her hair was smashed to her head and it looked funny but I didn't say anything, it'd only start trouble. I decided to bring us to the lake. It was desolate, since most people were home eating and decompressing by now.

For a few minutes we just sat in the grass, watching the water and enjoying the breeze and sound of the ruffling trees and rushing water.

"I don't think you really want me as your girlfriend right now," she said...looking away from me as she brought her knees to her chest. I could see tears in her eyes, She blinked, trying to make them retreat but one slid down her cheek.

"Well why in the world would you think that Mary Alice?"

"I'm no fun. I'm...no good for you. I'm a mess...you can do better."

"Well see, I think you're wrong. You're what I need Mary Alice. So you're not fun right now, it's not all about that. If I just wanted a girl for fun I could...I don't know..buy one or something. We're both a mess... I don't think I can do better...but if you don't want me, I understand. I'm not the best looking guy in the world and I don't have a car... you should probably date Mike Newton. There's a guy who's going places."

She punched me in the arm with all the impact of being hit with a marshmallow. I laughed and she hit me more.

"Dammit Jasper it's not funny! I'm bad news right now."

"Alice you aren't bad news. I've seen bad news... hell I've been bad news. I want you."

She struggled against me, but after some gentle coercion and weightlifting I managed to get her into my lap where we stayed until Dr. Cullen called, requesting her presence at the dinner table. We got back onto my moped, her arms were around me and her face was buried in my back, it was comforting. I dropped her off at the front door and before she disappeared into the house she raised up my helmet and kissed me. I hope things work out better this time around.

**Alice**

"Alice, we're taking you out of school tomorrow," said Esme.

"You're taking me to counseling, aren't you?"

"Yes, we are. Didyme is a very good therapist who specializes in both grief and trauma. We think... it will benefit you," said Dr. Cullen.

"Well...okay."

"Hey," said Nessie, "I wanna go to Memphis too!"

"Me too, I feel grief, I feel trauma," shouted Edward.

"Hush the both of you," said Esme. "I've already talked to the secretary honey and she'll tell your teachers."

"Well, alright."

* * *

"Alice I want you to do something you haven't done since your parents died. You mentioned before that you used to sew, making clothes... what did you like about that?"

"It was easy...I liked making pretty things. Seeing peoples faces when they tried it on and felt good about what they were wearing made me feel happy."

"Then make something. Even if it's a pillow slip or a handkerchief, make something. The only way to deal with loss is to press forward. This doesn't mean leaving the memory of your parents behind. It simply means acknowledging that you are still alive and that it's your responsibility to live life in a way that would be pleasing to them. Would your mother want you closing yourself off from the world?"

"No. She couldn't even stand it when I stayed in bed past ten."

"See, there you go. You'll eventually find that waking up in the morning to live your own life is rewarding, but until then...use that as your motivation to greet the day...Want to talk some more about that?"

"No."

"Well...we still have half an hour left. Wanna talk about anything else?"

"Yes... Dr. Cullen."

"I see... this is about the fact that he's your father."

"Wait... are these rooms soundproof? I don't want to hurt his feelings."

"Yes, they are soundproof Alice."

"I just... i don't understand any of it. It makes me mad. It's weird that my doctor is now my father and he treats me like he treats the other kids."

"How would you like to be treated?"

"I don't know...like a guest."

"But you're not a guest in their home. That is your home too now."

"I know... but...Didyme."

"Call me Didi."

"Well Didi. I don't know how to act around them. I mean Nessie, their daughter, my...sister... is pretty much the same, Esme is nice too, but it all feels so strange."

"Well Alice, the first thing that you can do is to stop the division. I notice when you speak about your new family you use "them" and "me" a lot... learn to think of yourselves as a we. Also remember that this isn't something that's going to pass. Sure, in another two years, year and half, you'll be eighteen and free to never see them again, if you'd like, but I don't think you'd really want that."

"You're right, I wouldn't. I want to blend in... I want to feel like a part of things but.."

"So start small. Spend and hour a day with the family."

"What?"

"Yes...and this excludes dinner. Family time would be a great opportunity. Are there any activities they do as a family that you've noticed?"

"Well...Family game night...on Wednesdays."

"Great. So play monopoly with them, bond. Just one hour."

"Okay. I thought therapists were supposed to just listen to your problems and stuff? Why do you give so much homework?"

"Because... I don't want you to be my patient for longer than you need to be. I'm in the business of giving people tools to deal with their issues, not just letting them vent. I'm not a diary, I'm a helper...though we do have fifteen more minutes if you want to tell me anything else."

"So this guy I've been seeing... he called me his girlfriend yesterday."

"Really? You're upset about this."

"Not really, but I just... I don't know if he's just doing it because he feels bad for me or something."

"Only one way to find out."

"How?"

"If he dumps you once you're happy again."

"That's real helpful Didi."

"Don't worry about that kind of stuff right now. If he's not sincere, you'll know it. How was he during the funeral?"

"He was there...then afterwards he tried to be there but I shut him out."

"See... he sounds like a winner to me. Cookie? Gum? Wine... oh wait, you're only sixteen."

"A cookie sounds nice."

Therapy wasn't what I expected. There was no chaise for me to lie down on. Just a couch with beaucoup of stuffed animals. At first I thought this was a therapist for children until Didi explained that sometimes she has her clients throw the teddies at the wall to unleash frustration.

Dr. Cullen was sitting down reading some psychology magazine when I came out. He looked really into it. The receptionist gave me a sliver of paper with a time on it. I have to come back next Saturday. It's funny... I always thought I'd be level headed with a clear perspective on everything. Never thought Alice Brandon would need therapy, now here I am...I have a therapist.

This entire experience has been awkward. Esme stayed behind today, she was meeting with a client from out of town so it was just me and Dr. Cullen. At first, there was the buzz of the radio to cut the tension but eventually, as we got farther from home, the station fizzled out and he cut it off, leaving only silence and the sound of me, trying not to breathe too loud. I wasn't thrilled to be seeing a therapist but any excuse to get out of that car was enough for me.

After giving him the sliver of paper with my next appointment on it we headed out to the parking garage.

"Alice, I thought we might grab a bite to eat... you like wings,right?"

"Like...chicken wings?"

"Of course, certainly not batwings," he said, with a chuckle.

"Yeah."

"Alright... Buffalo Wild Wings it is."

It wasn't that crowded. The lunch eaters had more than likely just cleared out and since everyone was still working, no dinner eaters had arrived yet. We got a table and food quickly. I got honey barbecue wings. Dr. Cullen went for some spicy flavor.

"So, you like Didi," he asked.

"Yes... she was nice."

"That's good... that's good. How are you adjusting to home?"

"I don't know. Good...I guess."

"You haven't unpacked."

"I was gonna do it this weekend."

"Okay. I didn't smell any smoke last night, or this morning."

"Yeah, I'm kicking the habit."

"Well good for you Alice... is there, um, anything you'd like to discuss?"

"Yes... why is it a house rule to eat breakfast?"

"Like I said, it's the most important meal of the day. I know for a fact your mother made you eat breakfast every morning because we'd agreed upon it."

"She did...but I'm sixteen now."

"That doesn't matter, it's non-negotiable."

"Well... when is my curfew?"

"We always have dinner as a family at five thirty and then after that you can stay out until eleven. One on the weekends."

"Okay...that's reasonable."

"I can understand your anger with me Alice."

"Dr. Cullen I'm not angry with you, this whole situation is just a lot to take in. I'm sorry if you feel that way."

"No apologies needed. So, how is Jasper?"

"He's good."

"Of course, you'll need to invite him over for dinner. Wednesday maybe...for our family game night."

"Um, sure. Why not?"

"Great. He seems like an interesting young man but there's only so much you can tell by looking at someone's medical records, blood test results, and having small talk with them. Right?"

"Yeah...right. Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes Alice?"

"You aren't going to say anything embarrassing, right?"

"Of course not."

So why do I feel like I'll end up being embarrassed?


	9. Chapter 9

I know I haven't updated in awhile but it hasn't been for lack of trying. I have literally rewritten this chapter a bazillion times! I hope you like it! Thanks to Deltagirl74 for checking up on me. Thanks to everybody for following and reviewing and reading! I hope the other chapters will come out smoother.

**Alice**

Jasper locked his eyes on me as I focused on putting paint in the cups for the children. It's drug free week and we are making t-shirts today in the volunteering program with the kiddies. Jasper was making me nervous, but I wasn't about to let him know it. He always makes me nervous...very nervous. Even though I'm around him everyday I just still get these stupid butterflies in my stomach whenever he looks at me for too long.

"You're blushing," he said as he took the paint from my hands.

"What? No I'm not! Gimme my paint back!"

"You are...and I need some for my cups too!"

"You are such an asshole."

"Well...are you still going out with this asshole tonight?"

"I guess."

"Have you thought anymore about what we talked about?"

"Yes..."

"Well?"

"Don't rush me Jasper Jackass!"

"I'm sorry Angry Alice... I didn't mean to make it seem like I was rushing you. I just...I feel like you've been avoiding me ever since."

"I haven't been trying to. I just need some time to really think about it. I can't do that with you around me. You skew my judgement."

"I'm sorry..."

He brushed a piece of hair from my face before coming close, like he was going to kiss my lips. I mentally prepared myself for the moment but he kissed my cheek instead and then he walked off, leaving me in a state of falling but never being fallen. Fucking Whitlock.

I went back to filling the cups and setting out paintbrushes while I thought again about what we talked about. Sex. Jasper wants to do it, I do too... I'm just not sure that I'm one hundred percent ready. Well, my mind's not sure. If my body had its way we'd have had sex a million times by now. The other night we almost did it. We were in the abandoned pool room, which has become our special place away from the world...and it just almost happened. My panties were dust in the wind, my bra was off, we were both panting like asthmatics and Jasper was pulling a condom out of the pocket of his pants, which were also off. It got pretty damn heated. The only thing that stopped us was Nessie calling to ask me to sneak her home a soda. I was frustrated that we had to leave off there, but grateful, in a way.

Well afterwards, we both realized what was about to happen. He asked me if I wanted to and I told him I'd think about it. I guess I'm just scared. I talked to Rose and Bella about it. Bella said be sure I'm ready, Rosalie told me to screw him because I'd enjoy it. When I talked to Martha she told me to weigh the pros and cons. Esme told me that it's my decision but if I do decide to do it...to talk to her afterwards if I feel badly. I miss my mom.

I miss her everyday...I miss my father too...but I miss my mom more. I want her to fuss on me, lock me in my room, threaten to shoot Jasper, something. I want someone to make my decisions for me, I guess. I can't say that I'm not still sad, but living has been getting easier. I've found that going to their graves and leaving flowers every week helps. I tell my mother the gossip that's going on in town and I tell my father the scores of the football team. We are still practically undefeated. Thanks to Emmett. I guess we'll see about basketball season. I know they can't hear me...but it makes me feel better. It makes me feel like they are a still a part of my life.

After we set up we gave the signal and the kids, who were with Bella hearing a story in the front of the gym, all ran in eager as hell to get their little hands on the paint brushes and paint. I have a feeling they'll get a lot more on themselves than on the shirts. We'll get complaints from parents...but that's okay. What's the point of being a kid if you can't get all dirty?

Seth Clearwater begged me to help him make his shirt so I stooped down to assist.

"Do you like it, really," he asked, once we'd finished.

"Yes Seth. It's a nice shirt. I think we did a good job."

"Thank you. You know Alice, you're pretty."

"Thank you Seth."

"Do you love your boyfriend?"

"Um...sure I do. Why? What's going on?"

"It's just that... well... I like you Alice. You're the prettiest girl I ever seen. I knew I'd see ya today so I picked these little flowers. They got crushed in my pocket though. Sorry bout that. Still got the color though."

He handed me the crumpled little yellow flowers. I had to admit he was romantic to only be seven. I had to let him down easy though.

"Seth you are very very sweet and I appreciate the flowers but you're just too young for me."

"What! Age ain't nothing but a number though Alice."

"Seth..."

"Oookkkayy... Well can I at least be your friend?"

"Of course you can Seth. We are already friends. Remember?"

I kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair before getting up to see if anybody else needed help. I happened to run into Jasper who was on refill duty.

"So...I have something upsetting to tell you," I said.

"What?"

"You almost lost me to a little kid."

"Who?"

"Seth... he even gave me these little flowers. You better step your game up."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said with a chuckle. "What's your favorite flower again?"

"Sunflowers."

As I was walking away I heard him mumble "where the fuck am I gonna find sunflowers in the end of October?" I just chuckled to myself and went back to my duties.

XXX

"Alice, sweetie, Jasper is here," called Esme through the door. She knocked twice and then poked her head in. I was finishing up flat ironing my hair. Something new I'm trying.

"You look so sweet... don't think your father will approve of that hemline though."

"Hey, it's not my fault. Nessie picked out this dress."

My dress was short and flowy and black with birds on it. I paired it with these lace up wedge booties and my favorite jean jacket. After the last piece of my frizzy hair was ironed out I grabbed my trusty bag and went downstairs where Jasper was waiting with a bouquet of Sunflowers.

"Are these for me?"

"No Alice, they're for me. I just bought em by the let you see how beautiful they are so you'd be jealous."

"Smart ass."

"Hey, watch your mouth please..."

I didn't notice Carlisle behind us, but he was. I apologized for cussing in front of him and then I rushed and put the flowers in some water.

"I don't have to go over the rules. Be back by eleven...don't get put in jail. Got it?"

"Yes sir," said Jasper.

We took to Jasper's scooter. I slipped the helmet over my head. I guess it's good my hair is already flat. As we traveled, I held onto his waist for dear life. He smells good. He always does though. The same fragrance that I've loved since we first met.

After riding for a little while we ended up at Maters and Cheese. I'm always in the mood for pizza. We fought over whether to get pepperoni or sausage and finally we agreed on Canadian Bacon and Pineapple.

"I've thought about it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... I'm not ready yet. I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize...when do you thin..."

"I don't know? It could be next month and it could be when I'm ninety. I just... I'm so confused about everything Jasper."

"About me?"

"Not about you. Not about how I feel about you."

"How do you feel about me?"

"I really like you."

"That's all?"

"Yes... I mean I get stronger feelings for you everyday but I don't know if I'm in love with you yet. You're pissed, aren't you?"

"No...just a little disappointed."

"About the sex?"

"Not really that Alice. I thought we were on the same page."

"We are, kind of...we're just not on the same sentence. Please? don't be mad at me."

He didn't say anything. Instead, he pushed the pizza around on his plate while looking down at it. I got up and went over to his side of the booth, pushing him over so I could sit down. Also, this ensured that he couldn't just leave. To get out he'd have to knocked me over into the floor.

"Say something. Please?"

"What's there to say?"

"Anything."

"Anything."

"Jasper! You know what i mean! Why are you so upset? I'm just being honest with you. I thought that's what you wanted?"

"I do. Like I said, I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed that you don't love me. That's all."

"So are you gonna act all pissy and quiet like this all night?"

"I don't know Alice... I guess I'm just having a human moment."

"Well...you have your human moment."

I looked into my purse and got out the cost of the bill. I chunked it onto the table, plus a tip for Maggie, and then I left...storming out. Hurricane Mary Alice, ripping Forks to shreds. How dare he try to make me feel bad for how I feel! Am I really that far into the wrong? I've never been in this situation before. I don't know if I'm in love with him but I didn't say he was in the fucking friendzone. I hate him. I don't...but I wish I could.

The bell dinged and I heard him calling me name before I even made it to the end of the street. He was gaining on me, so I started running. Luckily, Bella happened to be riding by. Probably on her way to my house.

"Bella! Bella! Hold the phone!"

"Alice?"

"Yes!"

"Alice! Come back! We need to talk," shouted Jasper.

"Bella open the door!"

I jumped into Bella's truck and locked the door, nearly slamming Jasper's fingers in it. Bella took off while looking me over, trying to see if I was hurt...I guess.

"Wanna tell me what the hell is going on?"

"We had an argument. I don't wanna talk to him. He wants to talk to me. I was running away and you stopped at the light so now I'm riding away."

"He didn't choke you or anything right?"

"Not with his hands, but with his words Bella. He emotionally bitch slapped me."

"It was that bad...tell me what happened."

When I was done Bella was quiet for a minute. Then she spoke after a little chuckle.

"You're both being buttholes. Him for being insensitive, you were being insensitive too but I'd have to say you won the butthole contest on this."

"What? Me? Why! I paid for dinner before I left."

"He wanted to talk and you jumped into my car..."

We just both started laughing. It sounded ridiculous and unreal and I can't believe it happened. But my laughing soon turned into crying.

"Oh hey now...don't do that!"

"I can't help it. I feel bad. I just... I'm so confused Bella. I don't know what I feel. I just...I wish I'd just fallen for fucking stupid Mike Newtown or Alec's scary ass then this wouldn't be so hard!"

Bella laughed more.

"If you'd fallen for Mike Newton it would be the equivalent of dating an anatomically correct rock and as for Alec...you'd be pregnant or something. I've heard the boy's got a bad case of satyriasis."

"What?"

"Fucks like the Easter Bunny."

"Oh...I think I've heard that rumor too...I just forgot. I wonder if Jasper is still at Mater's?"

"Probably not. You should call him."

"What? No... He won't answer."

"Well whaddya suggest?"

"Can you take me to his place?"

"Sure...why not."

Bella dropped me off at the Whitlock place. Jasper wasn't back yet, I could tell because his scooter wasn't in the driveway. I sat on the porch swing waiting for him to come up. About ten minutes after being in the chilly dark I heard the dull humming of his little moped. He parked it, took off his helmet and placed it down roughly in it's slot. I stood up and walked closer to him.

"What," he asked... I could tell he meant for it to sound cold, but it was laced with too much emotion to come off that way.

"I'm sorry I rode away in Bella's truck. I was just mad at your for being mad at me."

"I wasn't mad though, just disappointed Alice."

"About the sex?"

"Not really that... I can wait. It will be painful but I can wait. I just...felt a little rejected."

"But I wasn't Jasper. I wasn't rejecting you. I care about you so much. I've just...this is my first relationship."

"I know. I'm sorry for seeming impatient and like I didn't care. Just promise me one thing?"

"What?"

"Please...don't go running again...okay?"

"Okay."

XXX

Didi and I talked about the normal stuff. She's supposed to be counseling me for grief, but I find myself talking about other things. Of course I do talk about missing my parents but I also talk about my emotions... it's hard trying to muddle through them. The lines between them all are just so fine and sometimes I find myself with one foot in happy, one foot in angry, a hand in sad and a knee on confused...like some kind of messed up game of twister.

"Alice look, I'm not gonna tell you that this is unique. Every teenager has these issues...especially the whole sex issue. I can't tell you whether or not to do it because I'm not you. As an adult with perspective I can urge you to wait but you probably won't. I didn't when the adults in my life told me to. You'll just really have to think about it."

"I was afraid you were gonna say that. I just really wish I had someone to make these decisions for me."

"It's part of growing up Alice. How's your grieving?"

"I'm still sad...naturally...but that graveyard thing you suggested is working."

"That's excellent Alice! I'm glad that we've found a coping system that you feel comfortable with. How's the adjustment?"

"Dr. Cullen..."

"Alice..."

"I mean Carlisle. Sorry! I forget...anyways...can you believe that after the new year he's gonna start making me sacrifice one Saturday of my month so that me and Edward can take some stupid SAT and ACT prep course?"

"He sounds like a pretty bad guy who doesn't want you to amount to anything in life."

"Okay...so he's not that bad. It's not that bad... all in all I guess he's a pretty good dad. It's just still weird Didi. Whenever I look at him I don't see my father. All I see is stethoscopes and stickers and flu shots and medical charts."

"Try finding some similarities between the two of you..."

"Esme says we all have the same birthmark."

"Okay...but I need you to find a similarity. Something that you have in common with Carlisle, be it a facial feature, some personality quirk, a habit even..."

"Grrr...fine! You know Didi. you're just supposed to tell me I'm right."

"Your time is up Alice. Same time, same place. Have fun at your party tonight and be safe."

"Thanks Didi."

When I walked out Esme had already packed up her stuff and was waiting. We started out to the car, through the creepy ass parking garage.

"How bout we grab some lunch?"

"Sure."

"Great. There's this place called Firebird's. i think you'll like it. I came to it after a spa day with some of my friends."

She was right... I liked the restaurant. We got to sit by the kitchen, which was open so that we could see the chefs making our food! I freaked out a little bit because it was so neat. I ordered a steak. I figure that I won't eat much tonight and I don't wanna get hungry halfway through my rump shaking.

"So...how are you," asked Esme.

"I'm good."

"Thought anymore about what you asked me?"

"A little... I'm not ready and I told him. We had a fight, not because of that though, because I told him that I didn't know if I loved him or not."

"Everything's okay, isn't it?"

"Yeah...it's cool now."

"Well good. So, Carlisle and the guys are going on a hunting trip next weekend, Nessie is going to a sleepover, and I thought you and me might have some girl time."

"That sounds great Esme."

"Good."

"Esme...where is the rest of the family?"

"I was wondering when you'd ask this. Our parents are dead. I have a sister who lives in Washington state and Carlisle has a brother somewhere in this world. He's a rolling stone. He calls once a year, writes once a decade and when you see him...he always stinks to high heaven."

"Sort of like an anti-Carlisle?"

"Not so much...they had a lot more in common when we were all in college. They ran an illegal fight club."

"A fight club? Carlisle?"

"Yes... he was kinda crazy. He's how I got away from my crazy ex."

"Crazy ex?"

"There was a guy named Charles who I'd dated since high school. He was my first and I loved him but he was abusive. He gave me scars that I still have to hide. Well, when I met your father in literature we clicked and I loved him. I tried leaving my ex but he stalked me. One night he came at me and Carlisle with a gun. Carlisle beat the hell outta him and sent him on his way."

"Is he dead?"

"Now he is...he pulled the same trick on another girl and she stabbed him."

"Wow...Esme...this is some deep stuff. The babymama drama was enough to write a book, but this is enough to make your lives a mini series!"

"What can I say? we've made it through some rough stuff."

That definitely makes me look at Carlisle differently. Definitely makes me wanna follow the rules. While we ate we talked about life and the fact that she knows Bella spends most nights with Edward. When I asked her how she knew, she just replied by saying that she knows everything that goes on under her roof. She's one scary lady.

**Jasper**

I've got green hair. It looks awesome. Tanya made my face up so I'm also wearing this weird smelling white paint, eyeliner, and 24-hour lipstick. Now all I really need is the perfect side kick, which I'm on my way to pick up now. Alice, the Harley Quinn to my Joker.

This week has been both wonderful, horrible, scary, basically I've gone through all of the emotions possible in these last five to six days. I even had a little talk with Tanya about all that was going on. She says I'm being pushy. I argued with her about it until I realized that I was. I guess I was just scared of being the only one reciprocating emotion...like the last time. Alice and Maria are nothing alike but I'm getting that crazy feeling...I'm crazy about Alice and I guess I just really really want her to be crazy about me too.

When I arrived at the Cullens' house Dr. Cullen was handing out goodies to trick or treaters. They were four kids, obviously friends, and they were dressed like Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco from Harry Potter.

"Jasper, come on in. Alice and Bella are still getting ready but my son, Popeye is sitting on the couch. I don't know how he's gonna drive with those damn inflated muscles on."

"Daddy I told ya, don't worry... I got this."

"And I'll have your ass if you wreck that jeep."

"I'll be careful. Extra careful. What are they doing up there?"

"Edward don't you know by now that you can't rush women? It'll only get ya into hot water," I said.

"Well put Jasper, well put," said Dr. Cullen. "So, what are you doing next weekend?"

"Nothing sir."

"Edward and I are going on a hunting trip with Coach Mccarty and Emmett, I thought you might want to go. It'll be fun."

"That sounds great Dr. Cullen. Thanks... I'll be looking forward to it."

"Excellent."

After a few minutes of waiting and chatting with Dr. Cullen, and then Esme and Nessie...who'd just returned from trick or treating, Alice and Bella came down. Bella was a good Olive Oyl because she was already slender and brunette. I could tell that Edward thinking unsavory thoughts about her too, but I couldn't much blame him because I started to think them about Alice as soon as my eyes landed on her. She was in a pleather skin tight cat suit, her hair was in pigtails and she had a mask for her eyes. Earlier when she said she'd need baby powder to get into her costume I thought she was exaggerating, but now I see that she wasn't.

"I know how parties like this can get so just promise me you'll all be smart and safe. No binge drinking, no drinking at all really, cover your drinks, don't leave with strangers, if you have sex remember to use protection. Edward... I've put some in your car."

"Daddy come on! We're not sexually active," lied Edward.

"Ha ha ha...that's a Halloween prank, right," asked Dr. Cullen. "As I was saying...just be smart and have fun. No curfew but don't let me have to bail anyone out of jail."

"And don't conceive any children," yelled Esme as we all ran out the door towards the jeep. Rose and Emmett were meeting us there. I can only guess what their costumes are.

The party is at some guy named Benjamin's house. He doesn't go to Forks high, but he's apparently one of the most popular guys in the tri-county. Probably because he's family is supposedly into the oil business and they have houses around the world but this is their favorite because of the secludedness of it. Again, how in the hell do people even find this place?

When we arrived at the house the music was thumping from the outside. I smelled something cooking on a grill... it smelled awesome. On the lawn there were people rolling around in the grass and talking. On the porch there was a girl puking into the bushes. I didn't know they got down like this here...

Once inside the house the only light came from a series of strobe lights, black lights and other stuff that glows. There was a jar full of glow sticks. Alice grabbed a glow necklace and placed it around my neck.

"You just got leid," she said, with a very snarky, sneaky grin. I grabbed one and leid her right back. We followed Bella and Edward into the crowd where we found the food table on the other side of the room. It had everything known to man. Steak, chicken, hot dogs, an assortment of fruits. Pluots... he had pluots and a chocolate fountain. It reminds me of my parties. Of course I never really treated my guest to meals...however I did fill their bellies with liquor. While I was filling my own, of course. My largest and most successful party was actually the night I got alcohol poisoning for the first time. The memory alone is enough to make me wince. It's a good thing our neighbor was a doctor. Peter and some other guys knew that, so dropped me onto his porch and rang the doorbell. His name was Phil something... he saved my life. He treated me from home, didn't charge me, and he didn't tell my dad. He probably should have though.

"What's wrong Puddin," asked Alice.

"Nothing...just...I'll tell you later."

She nodded. I noticed white chocolate covered strawberries on the table. I grabbed one and held it to her lips. She took a bite and juice ran down her chin. I kissed her taking in the juice. Damn, these are good berries...but the corner of Alice's lip tastes better.

"Alright you two, break it up," called Emmett's loud ass from behind us.

Alice and I looked to see Rose and Emmett standing there. He was in a smoking jacket with a pipe and ascot while Rosalie was in a black playboy bunny outfit. Bella and Edward came over and the girls instantly started talking about costumes and the party and whatever else they talk about that I don't need to details to.

"So, you sealed the deal on her yet," asked Emmett.

"No," I said as I chomped down on the Strawberry, thinking about the fact that I'd either have to make friends with lotion, or make peace with blue balls.

"Well hang in there dude, you're a trooper. I'll give ya that. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't getting a piece of Rose tonight, especially the way she looks right now. If I didn't want to eat and dance I think I'd just take her somewhere and wear her out."

"Dude please...everybody knows that Rose wears you out," said Edward.

"Well okay, the wearing out is mutual. Point is...we're both spent when it's all over," said Emmett."

"Well...that's good for you. While you're wearing your girlfriend out and while Edward and Bella are having the most quiet sex in the history of man I'll be taking a cold shower and then watching my Golden Girls DVD to try to reel it all in!"

"Golden girls," asked Edward.

"Yes! It helps me control my urges. I don't know why but it turns me off."

"Well... I'd hope so. Still...sucks to be you," chuckled Edward as he went over to kidnap Bella from the girls.

"Dude hang in there. Let her give you the green light. I mean...you've been doing so well."

Alice sauntered back over to me, still looking like the perfect sidekick.

"Hey again, Puddin," she said with a wide smile.

"Quit calling me puddin and bring your ass out here onto the dancefloor."

She followed, but not before punching me in the back. I love the fact that she doesn't take my bullshit or let me run over her, though that lick did kind of bodies started to move to the music. The bass was so strong that the floor trembled, sending the sounds of the music right through us like electricity. That, with the fact that Alice was against me was enough to make my heart beat as fast as a hummingbird's.

XXX

Her fingers against my scalp was like the most wonderful massage I could ever wish to receive. Her warm hands under my shirt against my side took my breath away. We are officially the couple making out in the corner at the party. I slipped the mask off of her. I could see her eyes, but I needed to see her entire face. My hands, those creepy crawlers, moved down from her cheeks to her hips, and then to her ass which looked good enough to take a bite out of in that catsuit. I just couldn't keep my hands off of it, but she didn't mind.

I moved my lips down from hers, though it was painful, and I started to kiss her neck while I savored her cookie dough scent and enjoyed her soft skin, mixed with the subtle taste of salt from her sweat. If I can't do anything else I'm going to mark my territory all over her neck, her chest, her clavicle... she'll be pissed at me for days! She might even take off in another car.

**Alice**

Oh my gosh! There's no way I can cover all of these up. Sure, I can wear scarves to school now that it's getting cooler but I can't exactly walk around the house with them on! I don't even know what to do with the one that's on my are so many on my neck and chest and everywhere else above my tits that it looked like he took me out, beat me up and strangled me. Fucking Whitlock!

I came out of the bathroom in my comfiest nightgown. It's polka dotted with a pocket that has a french poodle on it. I love it. The room was sorta nippy so I put on Jasper's stolen jacket. I turned around to head for the bed but I was stunned to see Jasper at the window on the ladder, smiling sneakily. I outta not let his ass in.

"Go home, I'm mad at you!"

"Aw come on...they'll go away."

"No! Go home."

"You know you don't want me to go home."

"Yes I do now run along..."

He didn't budge.

"Grrr...you make me so mad! Be quiet while you're coming though."

He chuckled and climbed in. It makes me think about when his leg was broken. I was right about one thing. He's been a lot more trouble since he got off the handicapped list.

"I see you're wearing my jacket."

"My jacket. What do you want?"

"To see you."

"You saw me like two hours ago at the party."

"Well I wanted to see you again."

He looked down at me, his chocolate eyes seemed to turn black and hazy. The look on his face became serious and I could tell that things were about to get heated. His lips met mine for a single kiss before he went over, turned off my light switch, came back and kissed me again, taking off my jacket and running his chilly hands up my thighs. My heart went crazy! His lips brushed against my neck, ready to make more hickeys I guess. I can deal with that later. Right now, I want it.

Inch by inch my night gown rose higher until he was slipping it over my head. I felt embarrassed and shy being naked in front of him, not that he hadn't seen me in this shape before. He looked down at me, at my body and then he kissed me, directing me toward the bed.

"I'm still not ready," I whispered.

"Shhh!"

He kneeled down in front of me, spreading my legs apart. My thighs started to tremble. He placed his hands on my knees, holding my shaking legs still while he placed kisses up my calves, on the inside of my thighs, and where my bikini line started. He kissed my core and my clitoris jumped. I tried to steady my breathing but it was no use. I wasn't winded, but I couldn't breath like I wasn't.

Gently, he started to lap at the essence of my arousal. For a few minutes I lay still, taking in the feeling but it got better and better. At first my stomach muscles started to clench, causing me to tense up every few seconds, next I found myself grinding my hips the the rhythm of his skilled tongue. When he got me closer I needed something the grab onto...his hair became my handle bars. Especially when he moaned against me, causing the vibrations from his mouth to send trembles everywhere under my belly button. The closer I got to the edge, the harder it was for me to stay in one place. He grabbed my hips, plastering me to the bed while he devoured me more aggressively than before. I didn't know I was moaning until put his finger to his mouth with a sly grin, as he kept going. I didn't know I was about to pull his hair out, until he removed my hands from his curly locks. I definitely didn't know the orgasm was about to hit me. Of course, I felt it coming but it struck as a surprise. One that made my left leg twitch with every teasing tongue stroke Jasper delivered. I was whimpering his name like some kinda sad puppy left out in a storm.I really hate him now..he made me say his name.

When we were done he kissed my body, making his way up to my lips. After one peck he lay beside me, wrapping his arms around my naked body and laying his head against my breasts. I just ran my fingers through his hair while I tried to fight the amazing post orgasmic drowsiness that was threatening to take over me. It would be a fate worse than death to be caught in here naked with Jasper.

"So... I realized that I was being pushy the other night," he whispered. "I figure I should tell you why...at least Tanya told me this is why."

"Because of that girl," I asked.

"I just didn't wanna be left out in the cold again."

"Well I'm not gonna leave you out in the cold. I just need some time."

"I understand that. I respect that. Did you like what just happened?"

"Yes. Do it again."

"Now you've gotta be patient and wait... I'll do it again one day."

"Butthole."

"If I'm the butthole then you're the plumbers crack."

"Eww..." I whispered. I managed to turn to my side and wrap my leg around him. It was still chilly but being close to him gave me a little bit of warmth. We lay like that for hours, denying ourselves sleep just for the chance to embrace each other. Then that damned sun started to rise and he had to go. I happened to notice that he and Bella were sneaking out at the same time. They both waved to me, but I forgot I was naked so Bella got a show. Her mouth dropped. I quickly covered myself and I prepared to hear about this later. Ten minutes after she left I got a text message saying: BITCH YOU BETTER GIVE ME THE FUCKING DETAILS! It's amazing how much she sounds like Rosalie when the mood takes her.

The only thing I wanted to do was crash into my bed and sleep for a million years. so after a shower... I did. Of course, Esme, Nessie, Carlisle...all of them came to check on me. I told them the truth. Well, half of it. I said that I didn't sleep well at all last night and they accepted it, though for some reason I suspect Esme knows exactly why I didn't sleep. It was something about the look in her eye.


	10. Chapter 10

_Just thought I'd give Jasper a chapter all to himself just to show how dramatic and extra his life can get. Hope ya'll like it. Thanks to all who review and read!_

**Jasper**

I came in and put my hunting gear to the side. I killed a few birds...they're outside. The trip was oddly relaxing. The forest was quiet, aside from the sounds of nature. The sport called for silence so we were just five men, hunting in silence and the tranquility of the woods. Dr. Cullen killed two deer. Coach McCarty killed one. Emmett hit some squirrels and Edward had the opportunity to get some game but felt bad about killing the animals, so he chickened out. It was a nice day.

It's only seven and Edward and Emmett told me about this party by some guy named Laurent that's supposed to be off the chains. I don't know how much fun it'll be without Alice, but I'm going. It's not like I have anything better to do. I've finished my papers and homework. I've made out plans for the program this week. I'm completely free.

After a quick shower I changed into some jeans and a long sleeve button down. I dressed crisp and neat. There's no need to put on the whole suave and debonair act. I'm not going out to find a girl, I'm just going out to have a good time with my friends.

Emmett picked me up ten minutes later. The car was pumping with loud music from a mix tape I hopped in. He and Edward were rapping along to the music. I can't say that I'd ever heard it, then again, I don't listen to the radio that much.

When we made it to the party I didn't know if we were in the right place or not. It was a broke down little house that was across the street from a trailer park. The music was loud, so loud that I'm surprised nobody called the cops. I'm also surprised that the shutters and doors weren't falling off this place.

The first smell to hit me when I walked in was weed. There was a cloud it, it'd be impossible not to get a contact high in here. The second smell, was alcohol. There was liquor at the last party but not like this. There was food there to take your attention from the booze, but not this party... Something told me that I shouldn't be here but it's not like drove. I have no choice, but what's the worst that can really happen if I behave?

XXX

His gargantuan fist connected with my face, leaving me with a mouth full of blood. No teeth have fallen out yet, that's a good thing. I still have all of my teeth. I fell back, crashing into a table that snapped in two under the impact and my weight. I'm getting my ass kicked.

"Say you're sorry to her," yelled Big Ron, his breath reeking of beer and meals long past.

"Sorry for what? She should apologize to me! She's the one who tried to sleep with a guy in a relationship."

He hit me again. I got dizzy. Dizzier than before. Shit... I hope I don't black out. I hope I don't die. Suddenly Edward came out of nowhere, hitting Big Ron in the face. It did nothing, but his effort was appreciated. He punched Edward's lights out with one blow. Ben and Mike Newton helped him up.

"Say you're sorry to Jessica for calling her a whore."

"I didn't call her a whore... I said she was acting like a whore. There's a difference."

I waited for the next hit but it didn't come, thanks to Emmett who was returning from the bathroom.

"What the hell! Ron, what are you doin?"

"Teaching this piece of shit a lesson!"

"Put him down!"

"Uh uh Emmett!"

"Put him down! Take your ills out on the field next Friday night."

He dropped me on the ground, kicking me once in the ribs when he did while he muttered

"I hope you learned your lesson little sissy rich boy." I should have let it go. My head was spinning...blood was pouring from my mouth and I could barely see out of one of my eyes. Still, I'm not one to back down so I got up, unsure-footed and wobbly.

"Yeah I did learn my lesson. She's still a whore."

The next hit knocked me out cold.

XXX

When I woke up the next morning I felt like I'd been hit with the titanic and hit over the head with a jet plane. It was almost like being hung over, no, it was worse. I got up slowly trying to make the room be still. I was mostly unsuccessful for the first few seconds but after a minute or so my vision straightened up a little, leaving behind only a little blurriness, from the eye that was working.

The memories of last night flooded into my mind. The party. Jessica Stanley attempting to sit on my lap. Me pushing her away. Her bad mouthing Alice. Me calling her a whore...Oh and me and Edward getting our asses kicked by a guy over six feet tall and at least three hundred and fifty pounds of fat and muscle. It was a crazy night.

Once I made sense of everything I realized where I was. I was in Alice's room. I was wearing... a night gown and some of her frilly socks. I have no doubt in my mind that this was her idea. I just wonder where she is.

I got up to go to the bathroom. I also wanted to look into the mirror. I know I can't avoid it forever. I had some bruising under my left eye, my right one was totally fucked up. There was a cut under one of my eyes. My lip was busted too. Yeah... I got beat up but I'd do it again because I meant what I said. The best and worst part about it... I've been in worse condition. Sometimes from drunken brawls with other drunken brawlers and sometimes from my own stupidity...like...trying to break a brick wall down with my forehead or crushing over a hundred beer cans with face.

When I was done peeing I washed my hands. I opened the bathroom door and Alice was standing there looking angry. Her arms were crossed across her chest, she was tapping her foot too.

"Hey you," I said... trying to break up the tension.

"Hey you? Hey you! Jasper have you seen yourself! You look like you fell outta the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!"

"Look...I've been in worse shape. Trust me. Plus... I believed in what I was fighting... I mean... what I was getting beat up for."

"Well Edward told me what happened."

"How is he?"

"He's fine. He barely has a black eye but Bella is fussing over him like he's in a body cast. I was worried about you, ya know? I sat by the bed all night trying to make sure you didn't slip into a coma or something. Carlisle said you weren't badly concussed but I didn't believe him."

"Well thank you. Did you have to put me in a nightgown?"

"It was easier than putting you in pajamas. I can't believe you don't remember it. You were sort of awake."

"Well...when you've been beat black and blue I guess memory lapses are normal. Thank you for taking care of me nurse Alice. Now, how bout a kiss?"

"Yeah...sure... I'll kiss you after you brush your teeth and rinse with mouthwash."

"Oh, right...morning breath. It's a good thing I stashed a toothbrush here, huh?"

"Yup."

XXX

"Oh honey, that boy is just plain stupid. That Stanley girl is just using him. Poor little fat thing," said Mrs. Gerandy as I loaded her groceries into her house from her car.

"Yeah... well... I don't regret it."

"Well that's good. Stand up for your lady! I just hope that beautiful face of yours makes a full recovery. Seeing you is the only rise an old woman like me gets all week. Mhmm...so how is Alice?"

"She's good. she's Alice."

"Well that's good honey. I bet you two have so much fun parking down by the old lake...feverish kissing and heavy petting. Oh, I just flush when I think about the old days."

"Well... I don't have a car so no parking. We're taking it slow."

"That's for the best...for the best. You don't wanna end up pregnant. You'd have to get married. let me tell ya honey, married... at seventeen... is horrible."

"I don't know if we could without consent."

"Well in my day if a boy got a girl pregnant her daddy came and threatened to shoot him so he'd marry the poor girl that was in the family way. Then there was that one time this one young man shot himself to get outta marrying a girl... hmm... or maybe that was because he was a degenerate. No wait, I remember... he was tryna avoid the draft."

"Mrs. Gerandy I'm all done. Is there anything else you need today?"

"Naw sweet cheeks I'm okay. Wanna come in and have a taste of my pie?"

"Thanks ma'am but I have a date with Alice and we are going out to eat. She'd be vexed at me if I messed up my appetite."

"Well that's understandable. Least let me give ya a dollar or two."

"No ma'am...that's not necessary. Just save it for the St. Jude fundraiser the kids are doing."

"Alright then sugar. see you same time next week."

She squeezed my butt cheek and winked at me. I feel like a prostitute now.

It's only Tuesday and everyone has heard about what happened. If they haven't then they've actually seen my face. The initial reaction is always shock and awe and comments about what a handsome boy I am and how they hope my face fully recovers. Tanya was at first shocked by my injuries but now she's found the humor in them. My nose, for whatever reason, is a very bright red so for the past couple of days she's taken to called me Rudolph, Ronald Mcdonald, and Bozo the Clown. We've elected not to tell my parents about this. My daddy would only talk about legal stuff and my mama would only worry.

When I went home Tanya was lying on the couch watching TV. A couple days a week she lets Chelsea run things and kick people into shape so that she can have personal time. Today is her off day so that means I probably won't be sneaking over to the Cullens' after midnight.

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer," she sang, "had a very shiny nose!"

"Tanya! Stop it! You're making me feel bad!"

"Oh don't be so touchy. I'm just playing. Your face'll be back to normal in a week or two and I'm sure Jessica Stanley will try to sit on your lap and steal you away from Alice again in no time."

"Well it's weird. People keep saying how handsome I was... like I'll be disfigured forever."

"Oh lord! You're gonna get your looks back. Go get ready for your date and don't even think about spending the night with Alice tonight. Like I've said... I'll never forgive you if you make me an auntie while I'm still so young and sexy."

XXX

"I can't believe Dr. Cullen let you get away with coming out with a dress this short again."

"Eh... I told them Nessie picked it out."

"Did she?"

"Nope."

I slid my hands down her thighs as we sat in the chilly night breeze watching the water on the lake ripple with the wind. She was cradling me and rubbing my head. We weren't really doing too much talking but we didn't really need to.

"You need a haircut," she murmured.

"I know."

"This is so nice... you're like a teddy bear. A Jasper bear."

"I think a Jasper bear would be scary. Not cuddly."

"Nope... it'd be huggable and squishy."

"You calling me fat Mary Alice?"

"What? No! I'm just saying...whenever I see you I instantly want to hug you."

"I guess that's not a bad thing."

"I'm surprised you aren't fat though... you eat everything and you don't exercise..."

"Well you do too! and you don't exercise and for your info I do excercise... I lift weights."

"I exercise too! I climb the stairs to go to my room everyday. Sometimes more than once a day."

I popped the side of her leg and the squealed out. We got into a scuffle complete with biting, on Alice's part, and tickling, on my part. Once I had her pinned beneath me I let my fingers do the work. She squirmed like a bug but I was relentless in my tickling until finally she folded.

She reached up, kissing me and taking me by surprise. I was hoping it'd turn into making out but it was just a simple little kiss...one that left her sticky gloss on my lips.

"You changed lipgloss," I said. "It used to be watermelon and now it's..."

"It's peppermint. Something festive. I can't believe you noticed that."

"Well I did. Why'd we stop?"

"It's not really a good time for me to make out right now."

I hate Alice's Aunt Flow... but it's natural, I guess...nothing I can do about it either so I deal. I'm just lucky she's not the pissed, weepy type.

"Ooohh... do you need anything?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know...what do you girls like during this time. Chocolate or Brad Pitt movies or something?"

"Well stallion... I could use some of your sister's silk pie."

"Silk pie coming up..."

We hopped on my scooter and per usual, Alice was holding onto me for dear life. I could hardly breathe but I don't mind much. It feels kinda nice to have to latching on so damn tight. At least it usually does...tonight it kind of hurts the spot where I got kicked but I can take the pain.

The Hut was crowded, but we were only two people so we got in fairly quickly. Heidi came to the table and took our orders.

"Damn so it's true...boy Ron sure wiped the floor with you. Heard you didn't go out like a sissy though," said Heidi.

"Of course not..."

"That boy's all girth and no brain. Any fool knows that messing with Jessica Stanley is a no-no...at least in public. I can respect a guy who turns down the school tramp and takes a pounding from her guard dog. Those pies and coffees will be coming up... Alice, girl guess what?"

"What?"

"My sister is getting married."

"That's great!"

"She's buying the dresses but she wants you to do the alterations and put a little spin on em."

"Okay...just let me know."

"Alright...let me go get y'alls stuff."

Alice smirked when Heidi walked away. I knew she had something to say but I'm not sure what it was going to be about.

"What," I asked.

"Nothing..."

"Alice..."

"Okay... I just like the fact that you denied Jessica and stood up to Ron."

"Doesn't it happen often? You make it seem like Jessica is some kinda mystical siren with man-control powers."

"I mean, most guys do give her a go. The only guy I know of that she's never attempted to get with is Emmett, but only because she's scared of Rosalie...it's a long story."

"I wanna hear it."

"Well when we were in middle school Rosalie may or may not have been the school bully."

"I could see that... What about Edward?"

"She would...if Dr. Cullen, Carlisle... I mean... didn't know her entire medical history. There's no way in hell that'd happen. Plus Edward has always kind of...looked over her like she doesn't exist. It drove her crazy for the longest."

"This is some interesting info."

"Yup...don't mention the bully thing to Rosalie... she likes to forget about that violent period in her life."

"Mums the word sweet cheeks," I said.

XXX

"Well...you sleep tight Alice. Dream about me."

"Don't tell me what to dream about," she replied.

"Dream a little dream of me."

"I'll consider it," she said, rolling her eyes at me.

We were saying goodbye but she hadn't opened the door and I hadn't walked back to my scooter. It's almost like we were fused to the red brick porch we were standing on. She was leaned against the wall, while I embraced her to keep us both warm. Smooches and pecks were exchanged between us and Alice's hand was cuffed around my arm while she moved her thumb in a side to side pattern. It was a nice moment, and I didn't want it to ever fade. She looks beautiful everyday but tonight I noticed again. It was in her eyes, the way she looked up at me with happiness, fear, a little longing and some desperation that I could tell she was trying to hide. I wonder if she can see mine too?

"I should go inside," she said.

"Yeah...you should. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Neither of us moved a muscle.

"Jasper! Ride away!"

"You go into the house."

"No, you ride away first. Stop being stubborn you little hog."

"Well you stop being stubborn you little teacup pig."

"Okay, I'll open the door and stand in the doorway and you get on your bike."

We stood out arguing for a few minutes before the door finally opened. It was Dr. Cullen.

"Jasper, Alice..."

"Dr. Cullen," I greeted.

"It's almost eleven Alice, you'd better come on in the house."

"Okay... see you tomorrow Jasper."

"For sure Alice. Dr. Cullen, you have a nice night."

"Thanks son, how's the healing?"

"Ehh... I've come back from worse."

He chuckled and then waved to me before closing the door. I went back home and went to sleep. Tanya had actually decided to go to Memphis and hit the club with some friends of hers, so she wasn't there to call me Rudolph or anything else. I knew she probably wouldn't be back until morning but I decided to be a goodie two shoes and stay home. I think I've lost my rebellious edge.

When I laid down I thought sleep would be instant, but that wasn't the case at all. I started thinking...thinking about love again. I realized that I actually hadn't said the words to Alice. I just assumed she knew. She's such a smart ass, I sometimes forget that she's not a mind reader as well. At least that's what I tell myself but I can't lie to myself for long. I wanted her to say it first. All of this relationship business just seems so risky. It's almost like I'm riding a bike for the first time. You start off steady, maybe a little wobbly and then you gain speed and you're riding like the wind. However, when you have to slow down or turn you suddenly crash into whatever's close...The "I love you" would be the turning point and I'm terrified of the crash. I'm so ass backwards... I can't tell my girlfriend just how mad I am about her, at least not directly, but I can almost fearlessly take a beating from a bully. I should be taken out to pasture and shot. Or better yet, taken to the nut house and restrained.


	11. Chapter 11

**Alice**

"Well," asked Carlisle as I came inside the DMV.

I shook my head no. I still hadn't gotten my license. The back hind legs of a deer that'd died flew up onto my windshield and I went swerving. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm just cursed. Things like this never happen to anyone but me...maybe I'm meant to walk forever.

"Alice what happened? You did so well last night and Edward said you were flawless driving to and from school yesterday."

"A deer...half of a dead deer flew onto my windshield."

"Did it do any damage?"

"Yes...it cracked your windshield a little...there's blood on the car too. Little bit of guts."

"Well at least you and Bennie are okay. We'll get em next time Alice."

Carlisle dropped me off at home before changing cars. Esme was working, Edward and Nessie were in school. Carlisle let me skip today to take the driver's test. My failure was whispering in my ear. I couldn't stand it so I bundled up for the chilly fall weather, I hopped onto thin mint, and I went to the the ice cream shop, which happened to double for the coffee shop. I needed something hot, creamy, chocolatey and with lots of marshmallows. I got a drink that has been nicknamed "Jack Frost gets Nasty." It's white chocolate, with drizzles of caramel, regular chocolate, and some kinda melted toffee with a creamy, marshmallow topping. I got the biggest size I could.

I went to sit down and I happened to spy Victoria in the corner. She was writing profusely and looked like she was nervous. I haven't seen her since the night of the incident. She's been laying low. She even switched to night classes.

"Victoria?"

"Alice..."

"Hi...how are you?"

"I'm fine..."

"I haven't seen you since the summer."

"...you don't have to tiptoe around it Alice."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you hate me... I know that everyone in the town hates me! I can see the way they look at me and tell!"

"Victoria I don't hate you! I just wanted to talk. I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I couldn't stand it...coming to that place. It's too noisy and it's quieter at night... I need to go."

She started out and I followed her, clutching my Jack Frost gets Nasty to my chest so that no precious drop was spilled. Victoria was crying hard, sobbing...I was chasing her down but Lord have mercy, what am I gonna say to her?

Swiftly, she turned around. I thought she might hit me at first but she didn't. She was weeping and trembling and she looked fragile, like she might collapse onto the ground or into herself or melt down like chocolate in the sun.

"It's my fault Alice...all of it. I could've stopped James from driving if I wasn't so fucking drunk. I always let him drive drunk. I always knew it would happen and I didn't do anything to stop it! Now your parents are dead and James is dead! They are all dead and it's because I didn't say anything... I didn't say anything. My parents are in debt because of my medical bills, James' mom hates me and she keeps calling me, letting me know that I helped kill her son. I just... This is why you should hate me!"

"I don't... look...for a long time I hated James, I won't lie...but I've let the hate go and I realize that losing all of them was sad. You didn't stop him...but you can't change that now. They are gone. We just have to try to move on...keep this from happening again. You can't blame yourself forever. You didn't stop him, but it was his decision to drive drunk. Come back and have coffee with me?"

"O...okay. Why aren't you in school?"

"Driving test."

"Alice you still can't drive? What was the result?"

"I failed...half a dead deer hit my windshield."

She laughed at me. Most people laugh at the reasons why I fail my tests. It's not funny though... I could've died.

"I'm glad I ran into you Alice," she said as we went into the coffee shop.

"Me too."

We chatted for a while. Mostly about how we felt, what we wanted for the future. Victoria would be coming back to regular classes next semester and well me... I just wanted to be okay. I guess that's what we all want though, isn't it?

I drank my Jack Frost gets Nasty and talked to her until the place started to fill up with the after school crowd. She left then, I did too. I hopped onto thin mint and made my way to the football field where I knew Jasper would probably be hanging out with Edward, while Emmett practiced with the football team.

When I arrived Edward, Jasper, Bella, and Rose were sitting on the bleachers talking. I walked up and they all turned to look at me.

"Well," asked Rose.

"Well...I failed."

"What! After my good instruction, you failed," shouted Edward.

"It wasn't my fault! A dead deer hit the windshield! The window is cracked. You can see it for yourself."

"Only you Alice, only you," said Bella.

Jasper motioned for me to come to him and I walked over slowly, plopping down in his lap. He held onto me and his warmth enveloped me in the most lovely way. I don't care if I can't drive...just as long as this can go on.

"Get a room," shouted Edward.

"Shut up," I shouted,hitting my stupid brother in the head.

"Ow!"

We played and joked and talked about the upcoming holiday and all the stuff we had planned. Martha and Maurice decided it would be better just to come down for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm happy about that because I sort of want to be at home for the Holidays. Especially since Esme said Carlisle received a letter from Uncle Anti- Carlisle saying he'd be in attendance. It seems like it'd be interesting to take in.

XXX

"You just can't let that be the one thing that defines you Alice...you are more than some stupid little card that tells everyone you can legally join in on the road rage! Alice you are smart, you are capable and talented. Driving is just one hurdle you can't cross yet, but that's okay. you're young."

"I guess...I thought you'd have some kinda psychologist trick to help me trick myself into passing."

"I'm a therapist, not a miracle worker. How is your grief?"

"Getting better I guess...Anyway, I saw this girl...the girl who was there the night of the crash. The only survivor."

"Wow... Alice, how did that make you feel?"

"At first I was panicked. Then I started thinking about the night. Then I got sad and I felt bad for her because she said everybody hates her, and I realized that she lost her boyfriend the same way I lost my parents. So, I felt connected to her in a way. I mean we grew up together and we weren't best friends like Bella and Rose and me, but we were never on bad terms... I was never on bad terms with James either, come to think of it."

"Relationships can be important and dealing with grief,...with life, period. I'm glad you've found someone, who you can see regularly who you can discuss your grief with. Do you think it might become a regular thing?"

"Maybe...she said she's coming back to school in January...well, she's coming back to the regular session of school."

"Great. Other than that, how are you? How's the infamous Jasper?"

"He's uh...he's good. Did I tell you he got beat up the other week?"

"No. what for?"

"Well you remember Jessica, the tramp I told you about?"

"Yes."

"Well she tried to come onto him and he called her out and then her boyfriend, this freshman who is really really big...well he beat Jasper and my brother Edward up."

"Sounds like he cares about you quite a bit."

"Yeah I guess. We had our first fight the other week."

"That's an important milestone. How'd it play out?"

"I jumped into a moving car to escape him...but I eventually came to him to apologize and we talked it out."

"Well...work on your bolting. Coming back after you run away won't always be so easy. I am proud of you for initiating contact afterwards though...What was the fight about, if you don't mind me asking..."

"Well at first I thought it was about sex and then it turned into him being mad because I liked him but I didn't know if I was in love with him, but he didn't even say he was in love with me! Anyway...he got all mad and I got mad at him because he was mad at me and I tried to cheer him up but he was still being pissy so I got into Bella's car while she was at a stoplight and I rode away."

Didi laughed at me, it was a long hard laugh. She even had to dab her eyes a couple times and when she was done she composed herself.

"I'm glad you find my pain amusing."

"I'm sorry Alice. That's just the wildest thing I've heard today. Anyway...how are you two now?"

"We're good... I guess."

"And the sex thing?"

"We haven't talked about it again, not really. I think he was trying to manipulate me into it though."

"Probably."

"What! You think my boyfriend is manipulative?"

"Human beings are manipulative. You probably manipulate him...whether or not you know it."

"Oh my gosh! I'm manipulative!"

"Alice...calm down. It's normal. We all do it to some extent. How's home?"

"Eh...it's okay. It's an adjustment having siblings though... I mean...well a boy sibling and then one almost ten years younger than me. With Martha we were close in age, we were like friends. I'm not used to people sneaking in my bathroom stealing my condoms so they can have sex with my best friend, or coming into my room, with their canine companion to steal my perfume and eyeshadow for their baby dolls!"

"So you're adjusting to the, um, expanded boundaries?"

"Yes!"

"Well...did you work on your mission? Did you find one thing you and Carlisle had in common?"

"Huh?"

"Alice..."

"Okay...no. I didn't do it. Everybody's been busy."

"Okay...well that's still your homework. I also want you to spend some quality time with each of your siblings. Individually."

"Well... I ride to school with Edward every morning."

"Outside of school or social settings, since I remember you mentioning you two have the same social circle."

"But it'll be awkward! I don't particularly like Edward. We argued all the time before we found out we were related and now its worse! It'll be a disaster."

"It's your mission..."

"Yes Professor Didi..."

"You're welcome," she replied with a snarky grin on her beautiful, mature face. "Same time...same place."

"Okay."

When I went out Carlisle wasn't there. I got my paper from the receptionist and she pointed to the hallway. He was on the phone. I didn't say anything, I didn't even close the door. I just kinda stood there. Okay, I was eavesdropping...so shoot me.

"No well Mrs. Cullen you just better get ready...wear that little thing I like. Tonight too...no I'm gonna put your back out...No your moaning woke up Nessie and Jacob the last time," he chuckled. "Oh you are so bad...you deserve a spanking..."

Oh my gosh! They are having some kind of phone sex! There are some things you cannot unhear, that is one of them. I was frozen, standing there listening until I found a way to interrupt without making it look like I'd been there all along. I slammed the door shut, well, I didn't slam it really. I just closed it quickly.

"Yeah...Dr. Cullen's gonna fuc... Alice! You're out. How'd it go?"

"Great..."

"That's good. Esme I'll um see you tonight. Chicken sounds great. Love you too, bye bye."

He was embarrassed for having almost gotten caught, at least he thinks, and I was embarrassed for knowing what I now know. Dr. Cullen and Esme are sexually active. Of course I knew that, obviously Edward and Nessie got here somehow...I just assumed, you know... they either stopped or it was regular old people sex. When my parents did it I could always tell because there was the locked door, the slight creaking of the springs for a few minutes and then afterwards my father would always sneak some ice cream. Normal old people sex...

After we left we grabbed lunch. I was starving today for some reason. Usually, when he brings me to counseling we eat at Buffalo Wild Wings. Today was no different. I got twelve wings. I think I surprised us both when I ate them all.

"Alice, could I ask you something? Be completely honest with me."

Oh shit...this will be the first time, outside of the doctor's office, that I have to lie to Carlisle, probably. Like my mother always said, I'm a terrible liar. I just can't do it... I give it all I've got, but whoever I'm lying to just always seems to see right through me.

"O...okay."

"How much of that conversation did you hear?"

"What conversation? About the chicken..."

"Alice...you don't have to lie. I'm sorry you had to hear that but sometimes in order to keep the spice..."

"The spices for the chicken, right? I didn't hear anything unless it was about dinner and chicken."

My lie wasn't successful, but he stopped fighting me on it. Hallelujah. That would have made everything even more awkward. Still though, I can't believe he and Esme have phone sex. Oh my gosh...they probably sext each other naked pictures! Ewwwwwww!

The ride home wasn't quiet. Carlisle put in the Beatles Love song Compilation. That's one thing we have in common I guess... I love this CD. Mission accomplished! When we got home Nessie was in the front yard. She looked a little sad. Jacob was lying with his head on her lap, looking just as sad as she looked. Carlisle asked her what was the matter, but she didn't tell him. I knew I'd be able to get it out of her. So when he went inside I plopped down beside her in the grass.

"What's up?"

She shook her head, as if to say that nothing was wrong. I nudged her and she frowned at me. I frowned at her back, making the craziest face I could and she laughed a little.

"What's up?"

"I didn't get invited to Lydia's sleepover."

"Why?"

"She says I'm weird cuz I like reading stories at recess and because I have a big dog like Jacob and not a little toy dog like her. Everybody's there but me cuz I don't have any friends!"

"Hey...you have friends. You have Seth and Leah..."

"They're visiting their grandma this weekend though! I want to have a sleepover too."

"Well I'll have a sleepover with you tonight. Me, Bella, Rosalie, you... we can make a night of it."

"Really?"

"Yeah... really."

XXX

"If ya wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends..."

The sleepover was going off without a hitch. We were introducing Nessie to the Spice Girls, getting her to admit that she had a crush on Seth, and teaching her the art of being mean...just in case those girls at school give her any more problems. Of course no party would be complete without its disturbances... Edward, Emmett, and Jasper popped in with marshmallow guns and started shooting at us. Esme came, scolded them all, and sent them away like our knight in shining pastels.

When the situation was averted it was time for the real fun, chubby bunny. Bella won...she always does and it drives Rosalie crazy to the point where they use up an entire bag of marshmallows. After they were all gone and Bella still proved victorious Rosalie let it go and we moved on to jumping on the bed.

It could have been a scene from a movie. It felt almost like a movie. I forgot about the fact that I heard my biological father talking dirty to my step mother...Hell, I seemed to forget all my issues. I think we all did. It was a wonderful moment until I started to get that familiar feeling. That emptiness that let me know something was missing from my life. That guilty feeling that seemed to creep up whenever I'd had too consistent a flow of normalcy and joy. I didn't want to get that feeling, it just crept up on me. I stopped jumping and I went down to the kitchen... I made up some excuse about needing water. Everybody knows I hate water.

Instead, I got ice cream and I sat at the breakfast bar eating it right outta the carton. Jasper waltzed into the kitchen from the other door and he started rummaging through the fridge...he grabbed mostly sweets. When he bent over to look into the bottom compartment I decided to get him good.

"Whoo baby, bend that thang over and shake it one time for me!"

He jumped and snapped up quickly, holding his ice cream sandwiches to his chest like they were children. In one instant he looked betrayed and hurt and shocked outta his shorts.

"How long were you there?"

"Like...ten minutes."

"What? What about the sleepover?"

"I started feeling a little down in the dumps... I've backtracked in my sadness."

"Well...tell me about it."

"I don't know... I was thinking how perfect the moment was when we were all jumping on the bed and I was thinking how I was forgetting my problems and then I just wondered...are my parents my problem, why would I wanna forget them? I feel bad."

"Alice.. there's nothing wrong with wanting to blow off your problems. Your parents aren't your problem and you have to know that."

"I guess I know... I just got sad."

"Well be happy Mary Alice, and gimmee this ice cream. I was looking for this. Mmm...cookie dough."

"Rude! You can't just come into my house and start eating up everything!"

"It's not your house, it's Dr. and Mrs. Cullens' house, and Edward told me to help myself to whatever I wanted. So fork it over."

"Don't you mean spoon it over?"

"Smartass..."

We were fighting over the ice cream, though both eating it until I heard Rosalie's voice at the top of the stairs.

"Mary Alice Brandon! Get your booty up here! We're about to be fashion divas! We're having a show! Hurry up! I know you probably got hung up with Jasper but you can see him later!"

I just chuckled. Jasper kissed me, it was sticky and sweet like the ice cream, in fact he had some on his nose. Even still, when he had ice cream on his lips and nose and slight bruising under one eye, he can make me blush and turn as red as a cherry tomato.

The rest of the sleepover commenced. Nessie was the lead singer in our group...Rosalie left because she wanted more leads, I got pregnant and had to be replaced. Bella was the only original remaining until she decided to branch out on her own and go solo, then the group was over. By then...all the Sprite had been drank, all the cookies, snack cakes, and chips had been rummaged through and devoured. The starburst papers were scattered around like leaves in the fall. Everyone looked comfortable so I didn't move them. I lay down with my pillow and swaddled myself in Jasper's jacket. Nessie snuggled up to me. She was warm and it was weird, but sort of comforting. We all fell asleep with warpaint on our faces and boas around our necks.

XXX

Church was church... everybody commented on how much they'd missed seeing me here, and how much they missed my mama. I miss her too. It wasn't the same without her pinching me during service to make me spit out my gum, or trying to make me hug Jessica Stanley after service during fellowship.I guess there are some things you don't realize you'll miss until they're gone and can't be recovered.

After service I went around, giving hugs and getting compliments or backhanded compliments. Mostly about how tiny I was. I don't mind though. I guess you could say I'm used to it. Then I got to Mrs. Gerandy...she always knows how to put a smile on my face and make me laugh...while embarrassing me half to death.

"So honey, how's Jasper?"

"He's fine."

"That's good... how are you?"

"I'm fine."

"That's good...that's good. Alice you are in the best years of your life."

"Yeah... I've been told that before."

"The throws of passion at your age can be a splendid thing."

"Well we don't do that..."

"Yet," she said with a wink. She then adjusted her hat, squeezed my hand and walked off towards the outside where the other church ladies in funny hats were.

When I went outside my friends were standing around talking, Jasper was among them. I didn't know he was here. That's weird. Damn, he looks good as hell in a suit! A million dirty thoughts started to flash through my head, mostly of him tying my hands with his necktie and then having his way with me while I'm defenseless and lying in the floor wearing the sluttiest thing Victoria's Secret has to offer. Oh my goodness... I just came outta church! This isn't right, these thoughts...but damn Jasper looks nice in that suit.

"Hey y'all, what's up? Jasper..where did you sit?"

"I was in the back," he answered.

"You didn't tell me you were coming."

"Well Alice I didn't think I needed permission to come into the house of the Lord. I'm sorry..."

"Look smarta... I mean, you know it's not that. I just didn't know, that's all. I could have saved you a seat or something."

"I know. It wasn't really planned though. Spur of the moment really."

"Well did you like it?"

"Yeah... I did. I'll come back. Tanya was here too but she tipped out right after the service to go help get ready for the after church crowd."

"Oh..."

We stood around talking amongst ourselves. Minister Weber came out and talked to us, he and Jasper chatted about the upcoming food drive, and then it was off to the Hut where everybody, and by everybody I mean the Cullens, the Hales, the Swans, and the Whitlocks, had a feast! It was a wonderful sunday dinner, even if it did take four tables to accommodate us all.

XXX

My mind went crazy and my body went insane as Jasper made me twitch, cringe, and damn near explode with excitement. His finger was inside of me, caressing a place that had never been caressed and I liked it. His tongue met my clitoris at the same time, making it all feel overwhelming. My stomach was in my chest and my heart was in my head. My moans came out as soft whimpers. I was frozen, yet able to rock my hips to this rhythm he'd created. I wanted this to go on forever and I wanted it to end right now. I just kept climbing the mountain. My teeth started to chatter. I felt myself getting higher. My legs started to tremble. I jumped off the top of the mountain. My body crashed! My heart beat like I'd run a marathon. I couldn't stop and I couldn't un arch my back.

Jasper came up and kissed me hard, I gave it right back to him. My tongue roamed around becoming acquainted with his and I bit his bottom lip gently. The feeling of his warm chest against my hard nipples was something familiar but still strange, I liked it. The sensation of his naked erect dick at my center was something completely new. He's never take his boxers off before. I think he thinks he's gonna fuck me. I do want him to fuck me...but I don't want to just yet. Yes I do...I just can't. Not yet...

His cock parted the lips of my center slightly and I pulled away from him. He stopped too.

"What is it?"

"I can't... I can't... I'm still not ready. I'm so sorry."

"Shit!"

"I'm sorry I should have stopped this I just... I'm sorry."

"Yeah, tell that to him," he said as he pointed to his very angry looking erection.

"I'm sorry... next time," I said, letting my tongue flap away before I could control it.

"Next time," he asked. I'd gotten his attention.

"The next time we get this far we can just go ahead and just... do it."

"That sounds like a plan."

"Great... I think I'm almost ready, maybe...now, how about a massage?"

"A massage? What kind?"

"A special one..."

I was getting up to fetch his lotion. My heart started to beat like a drumroll and I got nervous, yet I knew that I couldn't keep being the only one getting pleasure from these little trysts. As I prepared myself to hone a new skill we both stopped dead in our tracks when we heard the jingle jangle of keys at the door. Tanya would come up to check on us, she always does when we weren't sitting right in the living room. I threw on my dress, neglected my panties and bra. Jasper threw on his clothes too. Then he took his place at his desk where he pretended to do homework and I sat on his bed and flipped through the channels of his TV. When Tanya opened the door we were both acting natural, something she quickly saw through.

"Alice, it's getting late honey. Jasper, take her home. Oh and I know y'all were up to something. It smells like y'all been rubbing up against each other all night."

When she left we just turned to look at eachother and we laughed. I put my panties back on but for some strange reason, I couldn't find where my bra went to. I suspect it fell behind Jasper's bed, but I have other bras so I wasn't really that eager to retrieve it.

On the ride back, the wind on my legs made me regret the fact that I'd worn a dress with no stockings. It's cold. Thanksgiving is in another week and the weather is starting to really cool down. They're saying it might even snow for Turkey day, but it's too soon to tell for sure.

When we pulled up to my house I hopped off of Jasper's bike. There wasn't really any time for him to come on the porch and give me a proper goodbye, so I settled for a quick dozen kisses and a hug that allowed me to take in Jasper's signature smell. Damn, I love that smell.

He drove off and I went into the house. I leaned against the door and held my hands over my heart like some love struck idiot. I feel so stupid. I hate not being in control of how I feel, but I guess it's what comes with the new territory of being emotionally, romantically, connected to another person. I just can't help but feel like a top though, a spinning top. At first I only spun in one place, it was all fine and dandy, but the longer I spin the more out of control I start to get! I'm here, I'm there, I'm toppling and I'm stopping only to be wound up and let go to spin again. Why couldn't affairs of the heart be less complicated, intense, and scary?


	12. Chapter 12

**Jasper**

Home. It still looks the same and smells the same as the last time I saw it. My room is different, of course, but it's not that drastic a difference. I looked in the dresser...they'd found that stash, the one under my bed, and the one in the closet too. However, they hadn't found the miniature bottles of Whiskey I'd hidden under the dresser. They were disguised as dirty, lent covered socks just left under the furniture to rot. I took them out and went downstairs, carrying them to the pantry where someone else could use them.

"From your stash," asked Tanya.

"Yeah..."

"Well...I'm proud of you, you did the right thing. Mama got the biggest turkey known to mankind! To cook that thing I'll need to chunk it in the fireplace or something.

"Well there's nothing wrong with a little extra," said my mother waltzing into the kitchen with her headpiece on her ear like a hearing aid.

"Mama that's alotta extra though," said Tanya. "We might need to bag some of it up and send it overseas to the troops."

They can't agree in the kitchen. My mother is a good cook but Tanya is a great cook and she's bossy just like my grandmother was. I knew they'd continue to bicker about turkey, what type of dressing to use,the brand and consistency of the cranberry sauce, and even how much cornstarch should go in the gravy. I excused myself. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and we're in Texas.

"Jasper, baby won't you go down to the store and get me some eggs. Your sister seems to think we don't have enough," said my mother.

"Mama I don't ha..."

"Oh, here."

She went over to the letter holder in the kitchen and she pulled out an envelope. In it was my license. I had to blink twice, no, three times to make sure I was seeing things right.

"Here's your second chance Jasper. Don't mess it up," said my mother.

"Oh, and don't be thinking you're gonna take my baby out for a spin," said Tanya.

"Now run along," said my mother.

"Okay."

She tossed me the keys and I went out to her car. I'm behind the wheel again and it's starting to rain. This is almost too familiar. At least I'm not drunk this time.

I managed to make it to Walmart without incident, though I did almost get hit in the parking lot by someone running a stop sign. I had to park at the back of the aisle farthest from the doors, so I got soaked. When I got into the store it was pandemonium. You'd have thought somebody told all these people that the turkeys they were baking and the dressing they were making would be the last meal they'd ever eat.

**Jasper get a couple cans of cranberry sauce, name brand, jellied not whole berries.**

**Jasper get some milk too, whole.**

**Jasper get some aluminum pans and paper plates, your cousins aren't going to the tropics after all.**

**Jasper we need some paper towels and toilet paper.**

**Jasper we need dishwashing liquid, none of that stuff for the machine, the real stuff that makes lots of bubbles.**

I ended up wandering around the store looking for all these things. I hadn't even planned on getting a buggy but I had to, which made things worse because I kept colliding with other people and their buggies! The aluminum pans and cranberry sauce were almost impossible to find and I had to race to get it. I ended up beating some made up housewife out of the last pans. She huffed at me and tossed her hair, but accepted the defeat.

When I'd gotten the eggs and milk I considered my shopping trip done. I went to the front where the lines were a mile long and there were only three registers open, even though workers were scattered all over the damn store! I finally gave up on trying to find a short line and I got in the one closest to the wing I parked on.

"Jasper..."

I knew the voice. I didn't have to turn around, or look at her, or even wonder for a second. My heart started to race and I don't know why. A texas sized lump grew in my throat and I found myself holding my breath.

"Maria."

"Hey," she said bashfully...crossing her arms and glaring up at me. "How've you been?"

"Good."

"That's great...so, how are you liking it...wait, where did you go?"

"Tennessee."

"Right."

"It's fine. I like it."

"Well that's good. Listen, I know we didn't leave off on the best of terms... I deserved to be talked to that way. I was horrible to you and I've been trying to call you to make it up to you."

"That's unnecessary Maria, really. What's done it done."

"Can we... do you think we could go out tonight and talk? Alone..."

"No. I don't think that's a good idea."

"Listen, I've changed and I want you to know that."

"It doesn't matter. I have a girlfriend."

"Oh. You've moved on?"

"I have."

"Hey, are you in line or not, if so then move up please," shouted a lady from behind me. I scooted up, hoping Maria would walk away but she scooted up too.

"How serious is it?"

"Very serious."

"It can't be that serious, you've know her like what... a week?"

"Actually, it's almost seven months and that's what happens when you find the right person."

"I think you're just using her to soak up time until you're outta Shitsville, TN for good."

"Then you couldn't be more wrong..." It felt like my face was full of hot air. I knew I was red, I had to be red. It was taking everything I had not to explode completely. My jaw trembled, my teeth were clenched.

"Yeah...sure. You're gonna hurt her, you're gonna crush her to little pieces and when it happens I hope you remember me telling you it was gonna happen."

She stormed off and I followed her, buggy and all through the hoards of people with thanksgiving fixings in their carts.

"Hey! Hey! You don't know anything! You don't know anything Maria but if you say I'll hurt her then maybe I should believe you because you break every heart you've ever handled. Everything you touch turns black and empty and dirty! I guess it takes one heartbreaker to know another!"

"Bye Jasper," she said with an evil smile, a grin of contempt. I wish I could run her over.

"Is there a problem here," asked a security guard.

"No sir, just about to get in line to pay and leave. Sorry for the disturbance."

I got in line, at the back of the line. I was so close to the finish line and now I'm worse off than when I started. I'll be standing for an hour, especially since I see most people holding coupons and sales papers. I might just miss Thanksgiving standing in walmart.

When I finally made it out of the store the rain was still pouring strong. I ran out to the car with the bags in tow, I decided that carrying them would be easier than rolling the buggy out in all this chaos. Fucking Maria...who in the hell does she think she is? I hate her... I hate her! Still! I hate her!

I put the bags in the trunk and then I got into the car. It was cool but the rain made it feel cold. I put the heat on and waited for it to take affect.I just got into an argument with my ex at walmart. I guess that as much as I hate to admit it, maybe Maria does still hold a few of my heartstrings in her overly-perfumed little palm. Dammit I'd just like to forget this ever happened. Maybe I moved that Whitlock mini too soon. No, I didn't... I put it where it was supposed to go. I just got my license back. It'd be stupid to let some chick I used to be ass over ears with get me so upset that I lose it all again.

**Alice**

"Then I told him that if he ever set foot in the sweet sweet state of Tennessee again, I'd cut his throat from ear to ear and dump him at the bottom of the mississippi," said Uncle Anti- Carlisle. It's Thanksgiving day, and true to his word Uncle Anti- Carlisle is here. Esme says he's cleaned up a bit because he doesn't stink that badly anymore. Now he smells like outside, cigarettes, and exhaust from a vehicle. He's full of stories about violence and murder and making his own way across the country, even some parts of the globe. He wears a leather jacket with patches on it that I don't understand, and he hasn't taken it off once that I've seen. He sleeps in a chair, sitting up, with his hat covering his face like a guy in an old western movie. He calls Nessie Midget Molly, Edward he calls the next in line, and I'm beanstalk. Don't ask me why. He also gave me a knife, he said that every Cullen needed one. It was sharp. I tested it. I'm shocked Carlisle even let me have it, but judging from what Esme said about him, perhaps he thinks a knife is a good gift for a sixteen year old girl as well.

In addition to meeting him I've also met Esme's sister from Washington. She's a hippie. Well, not really a hippie, but one of those organic this, gluten free that, the environment this, and the book was better than the movie, types. She's nice though. When she first arrived, she taught me how to make soap. She gave me a pair of blown glass earrings she made to welcome me to the Platt family, and she gave me a short lesson on meditation and yoga, which I think I might take up because of how calm it made me. Then again, it could have just been the sound of her voice. When I was doing the yoga she referred to me as a blossoming flower, still shy to the world but gradually opening up for the world to see and delight in my beauty. I would be a nutrition source to the pollinators and something to be admired. I like her...she's good.

Martha and Maurice were here, but they went to visit with his family. I hate to have to share them, but I understand they go as a couple. Yesterday we visited mama and daddy's graves. We replaced the flowers and then both broke down while imagining what the first thanksgiving without them would be like. Daddy always broke the wishbone with one of us. We'd take turns every year. It was my year this year. I broke it with Nessie and I wished for my parents back but when I opened my eyes I was still standing in the Cullens' kitchens so I guess those stupid bones don't work.

Anyway, I think my sister and Maurice are hiding something. I mean, they are always private but since they've arrived it's been hushed whispers, looking down, and too much time spent in the bathroom. I hope they aren't on drugs... I hope they aren't on crack. I would just never forgive myself if I let Martha get strung out on crack.

After dinner I helped Esme clear the table and get the desserts and coffee ready. I soon took over the task with Nessie though because Essie, her sister, came into the kitchen to chat. It went swiftly with me washing and Nessie drying. Before long we were done, the coffee was ready, the pecan pie was warm and gooey to perfection and whipped cream was just waiting to top it off.

Charades and a movie followed desserts. I got to see how much Carlisle and uncle anti- carlisle, whose real name is Carlson, are alike. I saw how much Esme and Essie were alike, hell, even how much Edward and Nessie are alike. Who am I like? Maybe Martha, but she's not here. Am I a guest looking in on this family for the holidays? I mean, I'm a part of the family but I sort of feel disconnected. Maybe I'm just being weird and catching the holiday blues. I just remember back in the summer, before the accident, I'd looked forward to Thanksgiving because of my mother's cooking. It was the love in the food. Not that Esme's didn't have love in it... I guess, it's just not that same.

During the movie I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I locked the door and sat inside. I took out my phone and I called Jasper.

"Hello?"

"Hi...Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Gobble gobble day to you too. what are you doing?"

"Hiding from the family..."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I feel like the odd one out."

"Well you're not."

"Whatever. What are you doing?"

"Taking a nap. I just ate again... Tanya and my mama really fixed it up right."

"Well we just had dinner. It was good. I miss you."

"I miss you too... Alice..."

"Hmm?"

"I saw Maria the other day."

"Oh...you did? Ho- how do you feel about that?"

"I let her upset me. I realized some things but they don't change anything with us. This is just something I gotta work on internally. Okay? I just wanted to tell you. I wanted to talk to you about it."

"Well...what are you feeling?"

"Well...when I let her get me mad I realized I still had more feelings for her than I thought."

"Okay."

"It pisses me off. All that shit she put me through and she can still pluck my motherucking heartstirngs. Alice it makes me wanna go out and.. I don't know, choke something."

"Easy tiger. Don't get put in jail, again. Just calm down. In time those feelings will pass. Just remember how far you've come. I didn't know you before now but you tell me you're a much better person without her and I believe you Jasper. I believe in you."

"You do?"

"Of course I do. I wouldn't have devoted my after school time for just any old guy with a clipboard."

"Thank you Alice...that was...wow... I don't know what to say. I miss you."

"I miss you too Whitlock, don't turn to applesauce on me or anything."

"I'm uh...gonna take my nap now. I love you Alice."

"I-I love you too Jasper."

Shit on crackers with ketchup and salt... we just exchanged the big three. The big three! The big three words! Oh my goodness. I felt nervous and excited and happy and scared. What the actual fuck is going on with me right now? I stood in the bathroom staring at the polka dots on my shower curtains for good minute and a half, I then spent another minute and a half pacing the floor trying to work the excited jitters from my body. Why am I acting so damn crazy? I came out of my bathroom and Martha was sitting on my bed.

"Hiding out?"

"No just having a little alone time, talking to Jasper. When'd you get back?"

"Not long ago...do you like it here?"

"Yeah... I do. It's an adjustment but it's alright."

"They are nice. I have to tell you something. Promise not to be angry that you weren't the first to know?"

"Go."

"Maurice and I got married and we're pregnant!"

"What?! What!? Martha! I'm your sister and you didn't tell me."

"I'm telling you now sister. Just don't be mad that you didn't know sooner. Be happy, be joyful. A little baby.."

"Okay, I'm happy. Auntie Alice... I'm mad at you! You were supposed to have a wedding with a wedding dress, Mama's dress if you want...or I could make you one. I was supposed to be the maid of honor! I cannot believe you were selfish enough to deny me that!"

I folded my arms and pouted, turning away from her.

"Alice...you know that's not my style. As far as the dress goes, I know you want that dress. Look... just be happy for me, please? If you want we can throw a reception party where you can be the maid of honor."

"Nah...that wouldn't be the same. I guess I forgive you though."

"Thanks Alley Cat."

"What's it like having people in your belly?"

"Geez Alice, don't phrase it that way."

"What? You're growing a person...like a watermelon or a Petunia."

"To answer your question it's scary and exciting. I can feel the fluttering...when I heard the heartbeat I just...I felt protective and like I wanted to give this little person all the good things I had to offer."

"Well, that's nice."

"I can't really describe it accurately though, you'll experience it one day."

"Maybe."

"So, speaking of which...how are you and Jasper?"

"He's alright...he told me he loved me a couple minutes ago."

"What!? What'd you say back?"

"I told him I loved him, of course."

"Do you?"

"Martha!"

"Well?"

"I do love him but I hate that I said it. Now he knows."

"What's wrong with him knowing?"

"I don't know Martha... I just can't picture myself being all sappy and in love."

"Look in the mirror...you are sappy and in love. There's a picture of you two from Halloween on your vanity, his hair is in your brush, and you're cuddling his jacket."

"What? I'm not!"

I hadn't noticed that I'd picked it up, but I had. To smell it, to smell him. When I did I smiled to myself a little on the inside and butterflies sprouted from nowhere within me. As for the picture...well...that night had to be documented! We were hot as Harley Quinn and the Joker. When will he ever have green hair again? Oh and the hairbrush thing...his hair was messy so he used my brush, while he was sleeping over. I just have a bad habit of not cleaning my brushes regularly so it's still there from weeks ago. It doesn't mean anything...it means everything. Who the hell am I kidding?

"Admit it...you've been shot with the arrow little sister."

"I won't say it."

"Whatever! Lets go back downstairs. Carlson and Carlisle are arm wrestling and they were about to start a game of Five Finger Fillet."

"What!"

"Yup..."

We went downstairs and there they were stabbing the knives between their fingers. Esme was looking on in horror with a spark of entertainment. Nessie and Edward were looking on with excitement and Essie was just taking it all in while Maurice's eyes followed the knives like they were bouncing balls. They kept speeding up and I just knew someone was going to lose a digit. It was alarming to see Carlisle being so reckless. I've never seen that before but I guess the guy is only human. Esme did mention his wildside. It makes me wonder what I'll be like once I'm on my own. Will I have a wild side too? Will I end up like my mama, or Essie, or Uncle Anti-Carlisle?

Uncle Anti-Carlisle was the first to nip his finger, right between the thumb and index finger. The blood spilled into the table and stained the knife. Esme complained that it was her good knife, but she also said that soap and water would do the trick to wash off the blood. It was normal. I don't know why it was normal but it was. It just makes me wonder what's next...Russian Roulette?

Luckily, there were no more games involving weapons or blood. Just good old walks down memory lane. Essie told us about the time Esme and she got arrested for kidnapping a puppy when they were high. Uncle Anti Carlisle and Carlisle recounted the days when they had the fight club. I'm guessing they didn't discuss it last time because Edward was shocked to find out. I don't think he's ever seen this side to Carlisle either, actually. The only people familiar to this wild side of Cullen-ness is Esme and while she seems to want to keep things under control, I also see a glint in her eye that makes me think she's thrilled to be able to spend a night with the guy she fell in love with at college all those years ago.

XXX

Maurice and Martha had decided to stay at a hotel before their trip, so when the night started to die down they left. I congratulated them both. They weren't leaving until Saturday and Esme said she wouldn't let them leave without having a dinner so I was sure to see them tomorrow. Uncle Anti- Carlisle went to sleep in his same spot, with his hat over his face. Essie had retired to the guest room. Esme and Carlisle were on the couch, her feet were in his lap and his hands were caressing her leg...I don't even want to think about what could come of that. Nessie was passed out beside Jacob in front of the TV. I picked her up and carried her to her room. She was heavy but I managed. Jacob followed me.

The only ones in the house still awake after two were me and Edward. Things were quiet, but loud with the sounds of snores.

"Hey, Alice..." he called.

"What?"

He held up a blunt...weed. I didn't know he was a pothead.

"You smo..."

"Shhhh! And yes, it's the holidays and we're family so I'm being generous. You in or out?"

"I don't do drugs."

"It's not drugs...it's herb...the good herb."

"Whatever. It's not laced with anything is it?"

"No Alice, it's not laced with anything."

"Does Bella know you smoke?"

"Who do you think got me started?"

"You take that back!"

"Bella smokes weed Alice..."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"Because you're judgemental when it comes to stuff like this."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

XXX

"But I'm saying though dude it's weird...it's like...it's fucking weird and crazy...we are winners Edward. We beat everybody else in the race of life! I wonder if we knew each other."

"When?"

"On the inside..."

"We probably did know eachother...I cleared the way, I cleared the way for you."

"No you didn't. I cleared my own way. I tripped my opponents and made it in."

"You can't trip sperm...they swim."

"Well then I drowned them. Whatever... I won."

"We won."

I took another drag from the blunt which was now so tiny we were holding it with tweezers. Being high wasn't what I expected. I didn't feel the need to stand on the edge of a skyscraper like Jenny from Forrest Gump, I just sat there, on the back porch, watching the shedding trees and feeling the cold night wind blow. The subject of parentage came up and that led to the subject of life's greatest race... how we both won the race.

While I sat there, listening the the leaves blowing along the ground, smelling the odor of smoke from some distant place, I remembered my conversation with Jasper. It must have been the weed that made me want to talk about it again.

"Jasper told me he loved me."

"Shit...what?! That's...that's great...I'm glad you finally found somebody."

"You make it seem like I was on my way to spinsterhood!"

"Well...okay. Look...I forgot what I was going to say."

"Aw fuck you, you didn't have anything to say."

"I did! I had lots to say! I was gonna say it. Anyway, that's great that he loves you and not that Maria whore he told us about."

"Grrrr...that bitch."

"Well what'd she do?"

"She...she's still in his heart."

"Well duuuuurrrrrr...she officially deflowered him."

"What! Nuh uh! She didn't take his tulip? His daisy...His...did she? I always thought it was another girl."

"Ya hah Alice...I'm his new best friend and he told me so."

"His new best friend huh? You wanna marry him too," I chuckled

"Shut up! He did tell me that though."

"Well I guess we're stuck with her then..."

**Jasper**

"Dude, like I'm saying... I knew you weren't in the crazy house man. I vouched for you to everybody," said Peter.

"Everybody," said Charlotte, mimicking him like a parakeet.

"Yeah well...what's done is done."

"Dude, you gotta come to my party tonight. Parents are gone, liquor cabinet newly stocked, I've talked to Dante and I've got capsules of all colors...you can choose your mood bro."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh don't worry...if you're not into that anymore we've got blow."

"Nah...don't do that either..."

"Dude you can't miss this party...we can catch up. Maria will be there showing off her new tramp stamp. You can't miss."

I wanted desperately to go. The strobe lights, the sweating bodies, the smoke in the air all sounded appealing. More appealing that sitting at home with my parents. Tanya would be out with an old boyfriend of hers. My cousins were gone, not that we had many interests in common anyway. I just wanna feel young. Plus, if I were to stay in with my parents I'd only be an interruption for their business calls. I can go and not drink...

XXX

The kiss came unexpectedly. I didn't think she would latch on like that, I didn't think it would happen. She was so close to my face, then our lips were intertwined. Shit! I didn't push her away, I couldn't pull away. When I did she looked at me, expecting more. I couldn't give her more and I wouldn't. I thought about Alice, how great everything is with us, how much pain Maria's caused me, and how stupid this all is.

"I knew you still felt something," she said with a sly grin spread across her sparkly, painted lips.

"Maybe I do, but this isn't right!"

"Because of your girlfriend? I can keep a secret...come with me, come home with me Jazzy...my parents are away. We'll have the house to ourselves. We can do anything you want."

Her hands, such manipulative hands, were making their way to my crotch. I grabbed her arm, stopping her, and I backed away. I started out, leaving the party with it's thudding, thumping music, unlimited alcohol and rampant drugs. Maria didn't follow me, she instead stood there shocked. I happened to look back and notice she started talking to another guy. I might have known that'd happen. I can't explain though, why it made a tiny bit of me sad, or why there was this overwhelming sense of disappointment at the fact that I'd turned her down on her offer.

XXX

"Son, I'ma give you a piece of advice that you should really consider taking. Do not ever tell that girl about that kiss. You hear me?"

"But daddy I wanna be honest with her."

"And you will be. I doubt she'll ask about the kiss anyway...look, secrets in a relationship are a good thing. As long as this one won't come back to bite you in the ass, there's no reason to confess it and mess up everything. Unless of course that kiss meant something to you."

"It didn't."

"Well good... mums the word. When you get to be my age you'll realize that honesty isn't always the best policy."

XXX

When Tanya and I got back to Tennessee, I dreaded the moment when I'd have to look Alice in the eyes with my secret hidden away in my heart. Would she sniff it out, would she even care if she knew? Really... Maria kissed me. She did, that's the truth. I just didn't push her away, try to stop her, or break the connection between our lips. I let it happen, and that's as bad as initiating it. I'm gonna take my daddy's advice. I just can't mess this up. I love Alice too much to lose her.

**So, what'd you think? Oh and thanks to Deltagirl74 and SarahV for being my reviewers! You guys' comments keep me rolling.**


	13. Chapter 13

_This is a mini chapter and let's just say the shit hits the fan! It's chocked full of immature teenager-y goodness, so brace yourselves!_

_**Alice**_

**So, has Jasper told you yet how much fun we had during Thanksgiving break with he was in Texas? lol.**

The message made me see red. It was Maria. I've never seen her before, didn't know what to look for, but apparently she's found me and she's sending me messages...well she sent me a message. I've been staring at these damn words on this damn screen for ten minutes and it's not helping me calm down any. That's what I get for procrastinating on my homework...

All I can seem to think about is the fact that Jasper might have cheated on me. He did say that he still had some feelings for Maria and he has been acting weird lately, showering me with gifts. It makes perfect sense, but I can't just take her word for it, she's a liar. It's times like this I wish I was asexual. You just don't have these issues when you're alone.

My stomach did flips in the worst way. Even when I clicked off of the page I just couldn't focus on anything else. Jasper is coming over to study for mythology and I know the only way to calm my curiosity is just to ask him about it. Rip off the band-aid and prepare to shed blood and tears. I can feel the lump of emotion growing in my throat and I can feel the tears pooling at my waterline. My chest started to tighten and I couldn't breathe. I think I'm having a heart attack!

XXX

I pulled up the message and I showed Jasper. I didn't say anything, instead I waited for him to explain. He didn't say anything,he just rubbed the back of his head, kicked the air and exhaled. This isn't a good sign. The only thing I want him to say is that she's lying and he hasn't and suddenly I'm unable to breathe again.

"I went to a party when I was there... she kissed me. I didn't initiate it, I swear, but I didn't instantly push her away. I promise...that's all that happened."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm so sorry Alice. I was just so afraid of losing you. You're the best thing that's happened to me in so long, I was so scared that if I told you, you'd dump me or hate me."

"I would have been mad at you but I wouldn't have just dumped you either! You should have known me better than that Jasper!"

"I know but I panicked, I've been panicking for a month."

"So that's what all this had been about the past month? You showering me with gifts and shit...trying to buy me?"

"I felt guilty. It's the only way I knew to satisfy my guilt but it didn't work. This secret has been eating me alive! I can't sleep... I'm afraid to talk to you because I don't want to accidentally say it. Alice, please... I'll do whatever you want me to do."

"Then tell me the truth, the whole truth. Don't sugar coat it... Are you still in love with her?"

"I don't know...that's the honest truth Alice. When she's out of sight she's out of mind but when I see her I just do shit and I don't know why I do it. I'm not completely over her... I'll admit that, but I love you. You're all I can think about."

He was a puddle in my floor. I didn't know what to do because he was just there, on his knees, crying while he looked up at me with tear-filled, pleading eyes. Maybe he's an actor. Maybe these aren't real tears or real pain that I'm seeing. Maybe it just looks authentic because I'm looking at him through my own tears. I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting...maybe we both are. It was just a kiss. It meant nothing... it was just a kiss. Maybe it wasn't just a kiss and I'm being a total fucking idiot. I'm being a total fucking idiot.

_**Jasper**_

I could breathe again. Who would have known that something as small as a kiss could be so heavy? I've been being crushed by it for a month. A month of distancing myself and sleepless night and worrying about whether or not Maria would say anything. Today she did and the shit hit the fan, but I'm glad. It forced me to tell Alice what happened. I ended up less of a seventeen year old, and more of a crying infant on her floor, begging her forgiveness while she cried. I made her cry. I hate myself for that. Maybe I will end up breaking Alice's heart if I stay with her. Maybe Maria was right and I am poison? No...she can't be right and she can't win this. Alice and I will be happy.

We talked about our relationship, putting mythology on the back burner Our final exam is tomorrow and neither of us has studied, though Alice will probably do just fine without studying. She's like a computer when it comes to remembering the stories and the names of the Gods, Goddesses, Demigods, Titans, and key humans. The farthest I get is Zeus, Aphrodite, Apollo, Athena...and that's all I've got.

"You still trust me, don't you baby," I asked Alice.

"For the most part I guess..." she said as she re positioned herself against me while we watched co-read our textbook.

"Good."

_**Alice**_

It's resolved, I'm glad. I do still trust Jasper,mostly, but I'll always be suspicious now when he goes to Texas.I just can't believe that Maria had the nerve to message me. Well, I'll do her one better. It's time to have some fun.

**Oh so you're **_**that**_** Maria? The one Jasper told us about...lol**

**What?**

**Nothing...it's just that you're famous here. Actually putting a face to the stories only makes them funnier.**

**What has he been saying?**

**lol! You don't wanna know, it's waaaayyyy too embarrassing!**

**What's he been saying?!**

I didn't reply again but I know I made an impression. Whether I did or whether I didn't, it didn't matter because I blocked her. I'll show that bitch since she has the gall to kiss my boyfriend and then send me a message telling me she did it...like she was proud of her whore-ery. Let her toss and turn for a few days wondering if Jasper's been talking about her and what he's been saying to total strangers about her. I know her kind, she's a Jessica and she cares about what people think even if they are a plane ride away.

My conscience ate me alive for ten seconds before I told it to shut the fuck up while I sent the message. It's not much, and it's extremely petty but it's at least something...some kinda retaliation against the infamous Maria, who seems to think people are chess pieces in a game that she controls.


	14. Chapter 14

**Alice**

It's cold as fuck, but Jasper's Range Rover has heated seats so I'm gonna take a risk and wearing a dangerously short skirt, with dangerously tall boots. He's supposed to be cooking for me before we meet the gang at the bowling alley. It's winter break, so it's staying open later since it's mostly teens who work there. Tonight is going to be great... We get to finally put the drama from a few days ago behind us. No more thinking about Maria, the kiss, her cussing out Jasper for the message I sent...none of that.

I started downstairs, I knew if Carlisle saw me then I was toast. He'd never let me leave wearing something like this. As soon as I made it off the last step he walked past, looking at some medical newspaper.

"Alice...where are you going dressed that way?"

"Out with Jasper and then with our friends later?"

"Go change. It's freezing outside and it's just not enough coverage in general."

"Yes sir..."

I went back upstairs with my head hung low. I really wanted to look sexy tonight. I guess I can be just as sexy in jeans and a very very thick and oversized off the shoulder sweater.

I decided to put my hair in a bun to show off my neck and shoulders when I got a knock at the door. I opened the door and Jasper was standing there with a smile on his ridiculously handsome face. I'm still mad at him a little...but I can't stay away from him. It's like I'm addicted to him. I remember when I was a kid I got addicted to popsicles every summer. I think everybody did. But anyway, they always shredded the roof of my mouth and my tongue to the point where it hurt to eat anything else and it made other food taste funny. I should have stopped, we all should have stopped eating them but we couldn't. The pain was worth it.

"You got your hair cut," I said.

"Yeah...I did. Tanya said I was starting to shed like a dog so I had to. Gave it to locks of love."

"Well good for you. I'm almost ready. I just have to put on some lipstick."

"Don't bother," he said.

He grabbed me quickly and kissed me once, pulling back after I was certain he was going to suck the life right outta me.

"What did you cook? Did you actually cook it?"

"It's a surprise, and yes... I did actually cook it Alice. Tanya isn't the only one with culinary skills."

"Okay..."

**XXX**

The meal was hamburgers and sweet potato fries. They did look like he cooked them himself too. In fact, I know there's no way he had help from Tanya. They tasted okay but I didn't really care. I just think it's sweet that he tried.

"So...whaddya think?"

"It's okay... I don't think your sister would hire you on at The Hut as a cook but um...it's pretty good."

"Good...now, for dessert."

"You made dessert too?"

"Yes... close your eyes."

"Fine..."

The fridge door opened and closed, I heard that much before he told me to open them again. When I did I was staring at a jelly mold. A very skillfully made jello mold, to be exact. It was in the shape of a heart and most of the jello was orange, but in the center, in what looked like grape, were the words "I'm sorry."

"Me too... now let's bury the hatchet...this never happened," I said.

"This never happened..."

"Come on, we can have dessert later."

"Where are we going?"

"Come on," I said, pulling him upstairs to his room.

**XXX**

"What do you love about me," he asked.

"Your smell..."

"Is that it," he questioned while devouring and showing attention to each of my breasts.

"Your hair," I moaned as I ran my fingers through the silky, soft mane.

"Is that it," he asked, making a trail of kisses from my breasts on down.

"Your eyes."

"That's all?"

He massaged my clit with his skilled tongue and I moved my hands from his hair to the sheets so that I wouldn't remove any of those precious strands.

"Everything! I love everything about you! I hate you!"

He chuckled then moved back up, kissing me and reaching over to his nightstand to grab a condom, I presume. A deal is a deal. We're both naked, we're both horny and though I'm not sure if I'm ready, I'm not sure if I'm not. All I know is that I want him to fuck me.

The wrapper crinkled as he removed the condom. He threw the wrapper to the side and put the rubber on.

"Are you sure," he asked.

"Yes..."

He started slowly, inch by inch we became more connected. It hurt, but it's not the worst pain I've ever felt. I held onto him tight, burying my face in the crook of his neck. His scent filled my nostrils and I relaxed, remembering that I've been having fantasies about this moment since the end of May, when we first met.

It was uncomfortable for a while, especially when he started to move in and out...but the more I relaxed and got into the moment and out of my own head, the better it felt. I kissed his neck, marking my territory, taking in more of his scent while having him inside me made me clench with pleasure. Chills and tingles moved throughout my entire body and I whimpered into his ear while sucking on his earlobe.

"Tell me you love me," he said, breathlessly.

"I love you...I love you Jasper."

Jasper turned my head so that we were face to face, eye to eye...he kissed me and looked at me with the most scared expression on his face. He looked like a frightened child.

"Say it again," he said.

"Mmm... I love you."

"Say you won't leave me."

"I won't leave you...mm..."

He kissed me again before slowing down the rhythm and driving my body mad. I was clutching onto his arm with one hand and his hair with the other. My legs were wrapped around his waist so that I could keep him as close to me as possible. All over my body there seemed to be a battle between hot and cold that was leaving me somewhere between completely mad and nearly satisfied. I knew I was about to cum.

I felt myself start to clench around Jasper again as his hardness moved in and out of me, leaving only lovely sensations in its path. I was getting closer and closer, climbing the rollercoaster of pleasure until suddenly I was over the edge with my heart in my ear and my stomach doing backflips. Jasper continued on, making me clench with aftershocks that rocked my body like an earthquake, until he came too letting out a slurry of cuss words, I love you's, you're beautiful's and tell me again you'll never leave me's.

We lay there in the dark. His head was on my chest and I was running my fingers through his hair. I could feel his breath on my breasts and his heart was beating against my stomach. Neither of us said anything, there was nothing to say really. We had sex, it was nice...what a first time should be like. Still, all I'd like to do is cry.

**Jasper**

I'm so stupid, so emotional. Why did I ask Alice all that weird stuff when we were having sex? She probably thinks I'm some weirdo like on the lifetime movies. Shit! We finally have sex and she'll probably dump me because I ask the questions of a maniac. I just really wanted to know. It scares me that I'm so needy, but I can't help it.

I got up, remembering that we had a date with our friends. Alice got up too and we both got dressed. I noticed that she seemed quiet, a little withdrawn too. I wonder if my fears are coming true?

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing Jasper...nothing."

"Something's wrong...was it me?"

"No... you were great. I just... I want to cry and I don't know why."

"Wanna cry now?"

"No, I'm not going to."

"If you change your mind Alice, I'm here for you. How do you feel right now?"

"In what way?"

"Every way there is to be..."

"Well...I'm sore and I'm happy and I'm sad."

"Oh..."

I didn't know what else to say. I barely remember the first time I had sex. I was drunk, it was with Maria though, I remember that much. I remember sloppily putting on that condom, bending her over, and fucking her as hard as I could to prove I could be the rough, ass slapping, hair pulling, take charge man she wanted in the bedroom. I'll remember this day forever though. Too bad I can't declare this my first time...

**XXX**

"Well congrats you fucking dirty ass dog you," said Emmett, patting me on the back so hard I thought he was going to knock my eyeballs outta my head.

"Thanks man."

"You better not get her pregnant," said Edward. "I'm not gonna be listening to a damn crying baby over in the middle of the night."

"Fuck you, I used protection...it was great. She just said she wanted to cry afterwards."

"That's normal," said Emmett. "Rosalie cried for three days after we had sex for the first time...I don't know why, but she did."

"Yeah, Bella didn't cry, if she did I don't know about it. Y'all are doing something wrong," said Edward.

"Shut up..."

"STRIKE! I got a strike," yelled Bella from the lanes...we were on teams and it was the girls' turn to go. So far we were tied. The competition was fierce and though Alice said she wanted to cry a little over an hour ago, she seems completely fine now. I just hope she's okay... I don't know if I could take it if she just decided to shut me out.

**Alice**

"Aw honey don't cry...it's fine. It's normal to feel all emotionally out of place. I cried too! just be happy, this is a happy day. At least you came, at least he loves you...some girls don't have that," said Bella.

"You're right," I said...trying to wipe my never ending stream of tears.

"Yeah, she is," said Rosalie. "If you came then it's something to laugh about. So...how big is Jasper on a scale from baby carrot to summer sausage?"

"Um...medium sized banana."

"Nice...that's nice. Curve?"

"Slight."

"Nice..."

"Rosalie, you are a pervert," said Bella.

"Born and raised," said Rose.

I laughed at them both, wiped my tears and we went back out to the game where we were now beating the boys. This night has turned out to be eventful. I still want to cry but I'm really okay... I just need to let it all out, ya know? I want Jasper to know that it has nothing to do with him. He's great...I really want him to know that.

After the game we sat around eating nachos, drinking coke and then getting into a popcorn fight with each other. I bid my friends goodbye for the night and we got into Jasper's car where the heated seats did wonders for knocking the chill of winter off my bones until we got back home. I would have ridden with Edward and Bella but I don't wanna know what goes on in that jeep.

We arrived at my house and he walked me to the door. Bella and Edward hadn't made it there yet, whatever goes on, I don't wanna know.

"Well Alice, this is it."

"Yup...thanks."

"Thank you..."

He brushed a piece of hair from my face and kissed my cheek.

"I'm gonna call you when I get home," he said.

"Okay," I said...kissing him on the lips.

"Night."

"Night."

He went back to his car and once I saw that he got off, I went into the house. It was completely dark and quiet with the exception of Esme who happened to be in the kitchen, at the breakfast car, having a glass of something I'm too young to drink.

"Hey Esme."

"Hey sweetie...how was your night?"

"It was good... I did it with Jasper."

"How do you feel?"

"I don't know...happy and sad. I wanna talk about it but I don't know what I'd say. That's enough about me though, how was your night?"

"Good...couldn't sleep so I'm down here having a nightcap. If you were old enough I'd let you join me...but you can't."

"That's okay Esme."

I sat down there talking to her about how I felt, with what little words I had to describe it. She seemed to perfectly understand, which gives me hope that I won't feel like this for forever. I mean, everybody I know said the blues wear off. This might just be normal. This is normal...

I do wish one thing though... I wish my mother was here to fuss on me for coming in so late, to worry about whether I'd get pregnant or not and to declare Jasper an official "tomcat." Thanksgiving is one thing without her and my father but Christmas will be another. I'll be with family but I know I'll still be missing them. Now I realize that I don't wanna cry simply because the last remnants of childhood have been shattered tonight, but because I'm still in mourning.

When I got upstairs, showered, and changed into my pajamas I remembered Jasper saying he'd call and right on cue, he did.

"Hello?"

"Hey... You been crying?"

"Yes," I said.

"Over tonight."

"I realized that it wasn't about that... I'm still in mourning and I didn't even know it."

"I'm sorry."

"No...no apology necessary. This is just the reality of the situation. I mean, I'm fortunate to have a dad and a cool stepmom but I miss my mother and father... I can't help it. Tell me something to cheer me up."

"I'll tell you about the third time I got put in jail."

"Okay."

"We had this really hot lady who lived in our neighborhood, right?"

"Right."

"Mrs. Robinson."

"Right... Should I be jealous?"

"No. Anyway, my friends and I were hanging out drinking the contents of the bar room and they proposed that I should sneak into Mrs. Robinson's house and steal a pair of her underwear..."

"Well, did you?"

"Yes...she kept a window open in the bathroom for some reason so I climbed to the tree between there and our bathroom, I climbed into her window and saw her husband Mr. Robinson, an eighty five year old man, beating off to retro playboy...I got traumatized, I got arrested, and I made a decision to get plastic surgery on my dick if it ever started to look like his did."

"That did cheer me up," I laughed. "Thanks...hey Jaz?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I don't love you?"

"This is about those questions, right?"

"Yeah..."

"I know you do, I just sometimes...my family isn't really warm and friendly...in fact the family gatherings and stuff really just started happening when I got into my accident. Sometimes I felt like nobody loved me or cared. If my parents were home then they were on the phone and if they weren't doing that then they were leaving me...I sound stupid."

"No, you don't. I understand completely."

We talked more, mostly about his childhood. I realized that I definitely got to be a child longer than he did. It made me want to hold him, I couldn't tell if he was crying or not but if he was I wanted to be there to wipe every tear so I bundled up, climbed down the ladder propped against the side of the house, and I rode thin mint to his house where I snuck past Tanya sleeping, to get to Jasper who seemed to be lying in the dark looking up at the ceiling. I lay with him in the darkness.

_**So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I'll be gone to London and then to Germany for about three weeks so I won't be able to update! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hi Guys, I'm back! I know this is very short and I apologize. The next chapter will be longer I promise... Enjoy!**_

**Alice**

"Daddy can you pass the mashed potatoes?"

Well shit...I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say Carlisle. The "D" word just slipped out. I wasn't even thinking of it or anything. The whole table went silent. Edward had a teasing little smirk on his face and Nessie and Esme were flat out beaming. Martha looked shocked but nothing else. Hell, now they're gonna expect me to keep saying this.

"Sure Alice..."

Carlisle passed the potatoes and resumed the conversation he was having with Maurice about the back pains he was having. Essie nudged me with a smile and I started spooning the mashed potatoes onto my plate. This holiday has been full of awkwardness. For one thing, when I told Martha I had sex with Jasper she sat me down and gave me a lecture about why I shouldn't end up pregnant and how a baby will ruin my life. Then she went on to show me the ultrasound video of my niece or nephew. I still don't know what I was looking at but I'm glad I saw whatever it is.

The rest of dinner seemed to go by at a snail's pace. After my second serving of potatoes,cranberry sauce, and a piece of carrot cake I was done for, and I felt heavy enough to anchor a cruise ship.

When everyone mustered up the energy to leave the dinner table, we decided to watch some old home videos that Uncle Carlson had apparently had in storage all these years. I was surprised to see that most were taken when the person on camera was drunk, sometimes it was Carlisle. Then there was one when he'd apparently finished beating the hell out of somebody at their little fight club. Then there was a video of Carlisle and Esme. She was wearing...she was wearing something like the outfit I was made to change the other night. The dangerously high heels with a dangerously short skirt. Her hair was teased out of this world and she was wearing a very saucy shade of red lipstick. She and Carlisle were talking to the cameraman, obviously Carlson, about some concert they'd just been to where a riot broke out and the police had to clear the place. Interesting...

Edward started teasing both Carlisle and Esme. They blushed, apparently embarrassed by the videos of yesteryear where they were smoking weed and drinking cheap beer. After a few videos Essie managed to get uncle Carlson to abandon his mission for embarrassment. Though it was interesting to see how Carlisle and Esme were in their younger years...when they were just a little bit older than me. It makes me wonder how I'll be when I'm eighteen...nineteen...twenty one. I'm determined not to go through a period of time when I'm wild and out of control. I'll always keep my wits about me.

**XXX**

Martha and I were lying in my bed. Apparently Maurice has a cold that's causing him to snore like nobody's business, so she's come to lie with me. It's comforting like the old days, when were were just children and nothing ever seemed like it could change or be lost forever.

"I think it's a good idea you know," said Martha.

"What? Me having sex with Jasper?"

"Hell no! You and Edward apparently smoked too much weed tonight."

"It's Christmas! What are you talking about?"

"You calling Carlisle dad."

"You do?"

"Yeah...he is your dad after all. I mean...calling him dad doesn't mean you loved daddy any less."

"It feels weird. I didn't even mean to say it."

"Well that's all the more reason why you should. Subconsciously you apparently want to call him dad."

"I guess so. How did you know me and Edward smoked weed?"

"I smell it on you and I saw you two out on the porch. Even though it's illegal it's good you two have bonding."

"You mean you're not jealous," I asked playfully.

"No...just as long as you two don't like in bed and chat I won't be jealous. This is our thing."

"That just seems wrong and gross and wrong again!"

I started laughing and I couldn't stop. Edward is the talkative sharing type but I doubt he'll ever crawl into my bed to talk. That'd just be...wrong! Nessie on the other hand does crawl into my bed, but not to talk. Only when she's scared. She's not really the talkative type when it comes to her problems. She's a bottler... She'd just much rather ask me a million questions about my life and try to figure out my issues.

"So...how are you Alice? you were quiet when we went to the grave today."

"I'm okay...I've accepted that they're gone. I'm not okay with that...but I've accepted it. I miss them."

"Me too. Everytime I see that ultrasound picture I just think about mama...how I want her here. How much time I wasted running away from her when all she wanted to do was love me. It might have been a smothering love, but it was love, nonetheless."

"Martha don't..."

"I am ruining things, aren't I?"

"It's not that...don't blame yourself, okay?"

"Yeah...sure."

"I mean it Martha."

"Okay! Sheesh... I'm worried."

"Why now?"

"That I'll be a bad mother."

"You'll do fine."

"I don't wanna just do fine. It's a baby not a math test or something... I wanna be exceptional."

"Well you'll do exceptional then..."

"Really?"

"Yes..."

"Thanks Alley Cat."

**Jasper**

Christmas was great, with the exception of my mother and father bickering every few minutes. They've always bickered, but it's worse than ever. They've never really said malicious things to each other before. There were a few times when Tanya and I had to stop them because the insults were just so bad. I've learned more about their trials as a couple than I should know.

Now I'm lying in bed, trying to sleep but the sound of them arguing is keeping me awake. I tried to ignore it. All the nastiness of it...like my father belittling my mother because she couldn't have more children. Apparently it was hard for her to conceive me. My mother wasn't taking this lying down though. She came back with sharpened daggers of her own to stab in his heart, like the fact that my father apparently has erectile dysfunction.

For a while I was still trying to tune out to racket when I heard my mother screaming and glass starting to break. I ran out of my room, nearly running into Tanya on the way, only to find my mother and father throwing things at each other. Important things. Heirlooms that have been in our family since before I was born. My father gathered a vase in his hands, but it wasn't a just a vase. It was an urn with my grandmother's ashes in it. He was about to hurl it but I interceded, catching the urn and saving it. My mother and Tanya were both shrieking from the shock. My father looked like a madman and both my parents were covered in an array of little scratches from the flying shards of glass. Speaking of the glass...

"Jasper! Oh...you're bleeding all over!"

Tanya went upstairs, slipped on some shoes, and then came back down with a pair for me. My feet were cut but I barely noticed...I also had glass poking into me from falling on it to try and catch the urn. When I did start to feel the pain, I wished my body was still in the adrenaline fueled rage that'd made me ignore it in the first place.

"You two are out of your fucking minds," yelled Tanya. "I'm taking Jasper to the hospital before he dies or something..."

**XXX**

"Forty two motherfucking stitches. This is damn ridiculous. When I get back that glass better be cleaned up and they better be quiet as church mice...parents or not...this is stupid!"

Tanya was pissed. Not only was she brought from her sleep by arguing, but she also had to bring me to the hospital and wait for three hours while they picked glass particulates from my wounds and closed me up.I've got forty two in all...not just on one would though. There are a few stitches here, a few there...they gave me some pain pills. I know I'll need em. The only good thing is that I now have an excuse to get a tattoo.

When we got back to the house the glass was cleaned up, but only because the maid had just finished vacuuming it up, and erasing the remnants of the awful fight. My mother was at the kitchen table with a bottle of wine trembling in her silk robe with her hair all over her head. My father...well... I didn't see his car in the garage so I can only assume he's gone.

"Look... I wanna know what's going on," demanded Tanya.

"We're divorcing...your father...your father has been seeing my best friend."

"Marjorie," asked Tanya. "Well is Karen...you know...daddy's child?"

"No. She's not. Least he says she's not. I don't believe him now... I don't believe anything now. I just... I never knew anything was wrong and then they cornered me at lunch a few days before Christmas...tried to make me sign the papers. I begged him to wait until after Christmas but he was so mean about things...it just got out of control. Oh Jasper honey, I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry you got hurt."

"I'm fine mama. I'm fine."

"Where is he now," asked Tanya.

"Gone...to Marjorie's. He said he wasn't coming back..."

My mother broke down crying and all I could do was pat her on the back and watch. I can comfort people when somebody dies but I'm not good at comforting people during relationship drama. Especially not when the drama is between my mama and my daddy.

Tanya and I are leaving tonight, which I'm partially grateful for. I don't know what to do. I don't know my place in all this confusion. It sounds selfish...but I'd rather watch the storm from afar than stay in the middle of it.

**XXX**

I'd packed my stuff and I was moving slowly towards the stairs when my phone started ringing. It was my daddy. I'm mad at him. I know I shouldn't pick sides...but I am. Still, he's my dad.

"Hello?"

"I just wanted to see if there's anything you need son. I'm sorry you got cut up last night."

"I'm fine daddy...thanks...why'd you do this?"

"When you're older...you'll understand."

"I don't think that's true. Tanya is older and she doesn't understand...mama is older and she doesn't understand either. I thought you loved her. What changed from Thanksgiving?"

"Thanksgiving...that was an act too.. I've been falling out of love with your mother since...well...you don't need to know about that. I haven't been in love with Donna for years. It ruined us Jasper and Marjorie was there for me when your mother wasn't and...things happened and I fell in love with her. It wasn't intentional. We both tried to leave each other alone but we couldn't. It just started to get unbearable and we decided to tell your mother and request a divorce."

"Well why the meanness... couldn't you have just played nice through the holidays?"

"What can I say? Your mother and I had a fight before you and Tanya came and the things she said just cut me deep and I couldn't play nice... I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me with her words. Any love that was left in me for her...left completely when we started throwing things at each other. I suppose you'll take her side now."

"You're my parents, why should I have to choose sides?"

"You're right Jaz...you're right. I just don't wanna lose you to all of this son."

"I won't say I'm not disappointed dad...but I won't take sides."

"I love you Jaz...have a good trip back and uh...tell the same to your sister, will ya?"

"Sure daddy. Sure."

I didn't know how to feel at that moment. I'd always seen my parents as a united front and now they were two separate countries engaging in a nuclear war. There's nothing I can do, even if there was I wouldn't know what to do. All I can do is watch from the sidelines while they rip each other apart. It just makes me wonder how love can disappear if there are two people giving it and getting it from each other. How does that much love just vanish? Or is it just easy for that much love to turn into hate? The bad part is... I can relate a little, but I still don't understand how it happens. I just know that I never wanna feel that way again and I wish they didn't have to feel that way either.


	16. Chapter 16

**Jasper**

It's my birthday and I'm at school. Not the place I'd necessarily wanna be, but I had to take a test, so I'm stuck. One unexpected perk has been getting a party from the volunteer club, birthday wishes from everyone who seems to know my name, and impromptu sex in the abandoned pool room with Alice, who presented me with a suit. A tailor made suit. I don't know how she got my measurements, because I don't remember being measured, but she's sneaky and so I'm not all that surprised. It fit great, the color was navy blue and I felt like a fucking Armani suit model.

"You're so talented," I said.

"It's nothing."

"Alice...it's a lot."

I placed the suit in my locker for safekeeping and Alice and I locked fingers, walking down the hallway. I know exactly where I'll wear the suit... when I'm shadowing my father this summer at the company. I kind of had to, since he complained that he felt like I was taking my mother's side. They are both calling me every week now and sending me money weekly too. I don't really need the money, but the calls are nice. If there's one thing that's come from this whole divorce, it's that I'm a hot commodity now and my parents seem to actually care. I'm not getting used to the treatment though. I know that the extra attention will probably fade once the divorce is finalized and the hurt feelings simmer down, but for the meantime it's really nice.

**XXX**

"I just really hope you like these cookies.. I made em myself and decorated em. You've just done so much at this school and you deserve so much," said Samantha as he handed me a plate of cookies that were covered with blue saran wrap.

"Thank you Sam.. I appreciate it."

"Anything for you Jasper," she smiled.

I didn't know what to say next. I heard a throat being cleared from behind me. I turned around to see Edward and Emmett standing there, both with raised eyebrows.

"Well, I better go. Bye Jasper... Edward, Emmett."

"Bye Sam, thanks again for the cookies."

Edward rolled his eyes and he and Emmett practically dragged me into the now empty science room.

"What the hell are y'all doing?"

"What the hell are we doing? What the hell are you doing," scolded Edward.

"Sam just gave me cookies for my birthday. That's all."

"That's not all," said Emmett. "She was blushing and beaming and giggling...she likes you. Those cookies are like a fucking promise ring to a girl like Samantha..."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? She always brings me stuff..."

"Does Alice know about these little gifts," asked Edward.

"Um...no..."

"Jasper! You've got a sugar mama," said Emmett. "Alice will probably rip every naturally curly lock of hair off Sam's head if she finds out. You gotta come clean and then stop taking these sweets from her," said Emmett.

"Yeah...because if you and Alice break up before Valentines day... and it's ruined for me and Bella... I will find you and I will kill you."

"Fine! Gosh... I'll tell Alice tonight."

"No! Don't fucking tell her tonight when we're hitting the club! If she gets upset the whole night will be fucked up because Bella and Rose will feel the need to comfort her when she's crying in the bathroom," said Emmett. "Tell her beforehand, that way if she's really upset she'll skip the club."

"So you mean tell her now?"

"Yup...hell offer her the cookies. Get a few, if you must, and then give them to her like it's no biggie," said Edward.

"Okay...come clean, give the sweets to Alice...got it. Since we're in here...what do y'all think about your fake ID's," I asked.

"They're spot on...we're gonna have so much fucking fun tonight," said Emmett. "Rosalie's promised to wear that little dress I like... I'm gonna get lucky."

"You always get lucky," said Edward.

"Not in a club in Memphis..."

"On that note," I said. "I'm getting the suit Alice made me, and I'm goin to find her to land myself in the doghouse. See y'all tonight."

"Alright brother. Happy birthday," said Em, with a very heavy pat on my back.

When I got outta the science classroom Alice was standing in the hallway talking to Rose, Bella, Victoria, and Alec. I don't like him. He's never personally done anything to me, but I really don't like the way he looks at Alice. Like... I don't know...like she's a piece of meat. He's creepy as hell. He's too calm and I don't know, he just seems creepy.

"Hey all," I said.

"Hey," said everyone.

"What are those," asked Alice.

"Cookies...Samantha made them," I muttered nervously, as lump to size of mother Texas formed in my throat. I could tell by the way Alice's eyebrows spiked up, and her eyes widened that she had something to say about it. Apparently Bella, Victoria, Rose, and Alec knew too...so they excused themselves.

"Samantha baked you cookies?"

"Yes... Want em. I took them to be nice but you know...these aren't really my favorite kind."

"Don't try to downplay it. How long has this been going on?"

"Um... well... I don't know."

"That sneaky little... gimme those cookies."

"So you do want them?"

"Nope...I bet I know exactly what's at the bottom of these."

"What?"

She opened the cookies and under them was paper. She pulled it out. It was stained from the cookies, but still legible. It was a love letter... a three page love letter with a kiss print at the end.

"She's done this before. Freshmen year she liked a guy on the football team so she doted on him, cooking him stuff, and then she gave him cookies, with a love letter at the bottom. That sneaky little Oooohhh!"

"What? What does it say?"

"It says I'm not good enough for you and that I don't..."

I was about to take a bite of one of the cookies. They did look and smell good. However, I didn't get the chance because Alice smacked it out of my hands with a look in her eyes that dared me to grab another.

"Baby, are you angry with me," I asked.

"Well... you should have told me sooner...but I'm not that mad at you. Just keep your distance, okay? Her family's got sort of a reputation."

"What kinda reputation? I'm still sorta new here, remember?"

"They get pregnant to trap men in relationships...least that's what I've always heard."

"I'm sorry Alice..."

"Let's just forget it, okay? We're going to the club tonight. It's gonna be fun. You're gonna throw away those cookies and...we can continue what we started today in the pool room."

"I like the sound of that."

I made sure nobody was looking and I tossed the cookies so that Alice could see. I don't want to lose her trust...especially not over a plate of cookies. We walked outside and I kissed her, then she got into Edward's jeep. I know I'll see her tonight.

**XXX**

"I cannot believe you made more fake ID's! You got arrested for that before."

"The charges were dropped sissy, besides...these say that we are all twenty. Still too young to drink. It's only for the club tonight."

"After that I want you to hand it in."

"Whatever you want sissy...whatever you want."

"I can't believe you're seventeen already. You're making me old. Was your day good?"

"Yes...Alice did get a little pissed at me though."

"Why?"

"Samantha Hudson made me a plate of cookies with a three page love letter at the bottom."

"That girl is up to no good. Steer clear of her...the women in her family have to hold some kinda record for fertility. Messing around with her will get you a baby and I'll be damned if I'm permanently linked to those brownnosers. I'm too young and sexy to be an aunt but if you're impregnating anybody it damn sure better be Alice!"

"Okay! I'm not getting anybody pregnant Tanya!"

"Well good! You look nice. Y'all have fun. Oh and mama and daddy are coming to Memphis Sunday and we're having dinner at my friend's restaurant."

"This the same friend who calls every night that you talk to and laugh and giggle?"

"Yes! It is and don't be listening to my damn conversations anymore!"

"Sorry...Bye Tanya. See you later."

"Later bubba."

**XXX**

Alice looked so good that it was a struggle to keep my eyes on the road. She was wearing this really short cheetah print dress with these tall black boots. When I went in to pick her up it was hard to keep myself from drooling on the carpet and making a fool of myself in front of Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. The fact that she told me she isn't wearing any panties isn't helping either. It's gonna be a long, hot, and very sticky night. I can feel it.

**Alice**

Getting into the club was easy, though I was nervous about it because of the fake IDs. The bouncer didn't suspect a thing. He even let us in at a discounted price because of Jasper's birthday. From the outside we could hear the pulsing of the music and it made us excited, but once we were inside it was a different story. I didn't just hear the pulsing of the music, I felt it making me buzz from head to toe. The strobe lights danced across my eyes like rainbow colored streaks of sunlight that made me want to dance until my feet were falling off.

Jasper and I had lost the others somewhere in the crowd. Rose and Emmett had probably found somewhere to have sex and Bella and Edward were probably convincing the bartender to give them water. I know we'll catch up with them later, so I'm not too concerned about it right now.

The song changed from some hip hop song to some slow, bass-heavy, winding song, with lyrics that sounded like sex. Jasper's grasp on my waist tightened as I grinded into his erection with everything I had. I slid down him and then slid back up. A few people around us whooped and hollered. I didn't know we'd formed an audience. When I turned around to face him he was laughing, and his face was red. Probably from a mixture of embarrassment and the heat in the club. We danced for the remainder of the song and the tiny group watching us dissipated.

"If I haven't told you tonight... you look fucking amazing," he said.

"Thank you baby..."

"Wanna go upstairs?"

"What's upstairs?"

"Well... we'll see, won't we?"

I grabbed his hand and he led us to a dark staircase. It was another floor filled with chair and tables and stools and chaises. I guess it's like storage. I could tell that it'd been blocked off but the rope guarding it had long been moved. When we finally reached the second floor, solid ground, we navigated our way through a plethora of forgotten thongs, beer bottles, and people fucking to find out own little corner, with a chaise that was covered by a sheet.

Being sexy has never been my thing, but since I'm in the dress and I'm in the club illegally I might as well. I have to keep it interesting, after all. So, I licked Jasper's lips before I pushed him down and back onto the chaise. Afterwards I straddled him and I unzipped the side of my dress. My boobs fell out of it and I've never been so proud of them. I leaned up, kissing him again while I let my tongue dance with his and engage in a battled between us. His fingertips glided across the back of my thigh and right up to the lips of my labia, where he gently stroked me making me tighten with arousal. I want him to fuck me hard, so hard that I'm just screaming at the top of my lungs and crying from how good it feels.

I grabbed Jasper's other hand, which was planted on my hip, and I placed it to my breast. After that he needed no more direction. I found myself being flipped over onto my back as he went to work massaging my breasts and practically devouring them. My nipples got hard the very moment he started, they like the attention he gives to them.

"Little fucking tease," muttered Jasper.

"I'm not a tease, I make good on my promises," I said back breathlessly.

"I know just what to do with you," he said, giving me an alarmingly mischievous grin.

Suddenly he was pulling me by my thighs, down the the end of the chaise, where he put my legs over his shoulders. I was still wearing my boots and I now have a new appreciation for them. He entered me and it felt like he was deeper than he's ever been before. He went slower to let me get adjusted but after a few seconds he was thrusting into me hard and fast making it impossible for me to do anything but clutch onto his forearms for dear life while involuntary moans escaped my mouth every time he drove himself into me. He couldn't possibly be any deeper...that's for sure.

The orgasm that hit me was intense, probably because of how deep he feels. Still though, he wasn't done with me. He kept going, sending me into another orgasm that left my legs trembling on his shoulders. When he came I was torn between relief and sadness. The torture was wonderful and I look forward to that again.

When my legs stopped shaking and we regained our energy Jasper helped me straighten up my dress and zip it back up, then we went back down to the party. I left him briefly to clean myself up, but when I re-emerged the rest of the group had found us. The rest of the night was filled with dancing and the bashful looks Jasper and I shot each other from across the room.

Around three the party was still jumping, but we decided to leave. Everyone was tired and hungry. I changed into my emergency flats, a pair of leggings, and a jean jacket I'd stashed in the car for after the club. I figured I'd be cold.

Since it was so late,we chose IHOP to eat. We weren't alone either. It was filled with fellow clubbers who looked like they'd had a good time, just like us.

The ride home was quiet, mostly because everyone was asleep. Edward had volunteered to drive so he and Bella were up front. Jasper and I were in the hatch, lying down. He was snoring lightly and I was watching him sleep. I felt creepy, but I couldn't help it. While he was sleeping he pulled me closer and kissed my neck in an instant.

"Happy Birthday," I whispered.

He didn't respond, instead he smiled slightly and then went back to sleep. I lay my head beside his. It's been a very good night. I just hope he's had a good day. I didn't mean to overreact earlier about those cookies, but I don't want Samantha sinking her claws into him. He doesn't need the kind of drama she'll bring.

"My parents are divorcing," he whispered, half asleep.

"What?"

"They're divorcing..."

"Why?"

"Dad cheated."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be."

He was talking in his sleep. Talking to me in his sleep. I didn't know his mama and daddy were getting a divorce. That might have explained why he was all down in the dumps earlier this month. I wish he'd told me sooner, but what matters is that he's telling me now. I really want him to be happy.

**Jasper**

Tanya's boyfriend's restaurant was just what I needed. It was the perfect end to a birthday weekend. The steak was perfectly seasoned... the potatoes were expertly mashed and the toffee cake was just what the doctor ordered, even if Alice did eat most of it. We were supposed to split it but she ended up hogging it. Not that I really mind. I'm just glad she's here. Having her here has been the perfect distraction for my parents. They are too wrapped up in asking her about her life and happenings to strangle each other. Well, Alice and Demetri...Tanya's apparent beau and the owner of the restaurant. He does seem like the type of guy she'd like. They're both foodies...enough said.

I can't believe I talked in my sleep to Alice. I hadn't let her know about the divorce, but she says that on the way back from Memphis I told her when I was half asleep. I've wanted to tell her but I didn't want to worry her with it. I guess my mouth had other plans. I'm glad of it, too. It felt good to talk to her about it.

"Can't believe my baby boy's all grown up," said my mother.

"He's not a baby boy anymore," said my father.

"He'll always be my baby boy... College is coming up."

"I know mama, I know," I said.

"Alice, are you still thinking of going to Memphis," asked my mother.

"Well, I'm undecided. New York is best for fashion, and my father said not to let tuition limit me so I'm narrowing down a couple choices."

"Excellent dear," said my mother. "I'm sure wherever you go will be a great choice. Maybe you can motivate Jasper to start shopping around."

"No need, this boy is going to my Alma Mater...he's going to Texas A&M."

"That's not your decision! He can go wherever he wants to go!"

"My daddy went there, and my daddy's daddy, and so on and so on...he's not breaking that chain! You don't wanna break the chain, do ya son?"

"Well...um..."

"Daddy what does it matter as long as he goes to college? It's Jasper's decision."

"Generations of tradition. Generations of Whitlock men have gone to that school! It's bad enough that you don't play football..."

"Again with this! Harold, Jasper doesn't wanna play football! He's a thinker and there's nothing wrong with that! Can't you be proud of him for his accomplishments?"

"I am, he knows that... you know that, right son?"

"Yeah daddy, I know."

"Good...good... I don't know why we're getting all worked up anyway. You got the summer to decide. When you shadow me this summer we can take a tour. I don't think you've had one since you were little."

"Shadowing," asked Alice.

"Yeah... I'm spending the summer in Texas helping out my daddy, learning more about the family business."

"Oh...well then I guess the suit will come in handy."

Alice smiled at me, though it seemed a little sad, I know we'll talk about it later though. After the talk of colleges and alma maters ceased Demetri called my mama and daddy separate cabs to take them to their hotels. My mother, as always, kissed me on the cheek and left a big red lipstick mark. My father hugged me tight and patted me on the back so hard that it knocked the wind outta me. I was happy to see them go, but I was also sad. I was glad to be away from the arguing and backbiting, but I do miss them. I'll get over it though... I always do.

**Alice**

I didn't know he was leaving for the summer. I had so many plans for us. Okay, I didn't have that many plans. I just pictured us spending lazy days by the lake, and nights under the stars. I do understand though...he's gotta prepare for his future career. I guess I'll prepare for mine too. I'll just go back to doing what I do best... I'll design and sew and create.

I don't even wanna think about college. I know he probably will end up going to his daddy's college...when will we see each other if he's in Texas and I'm in New York? I don't even want to think about that now...

Tanya pulled up to my house and I got out. Jasper followed me to the front door and placed his hand to my cheek.

"I was gonna tell you."

"I know... I think you should do it. I'll just occupy myself doing what I do best. I did have a life before you can along, ya know?"

"That's awful big talk Mary Alice. I suppose though if you wanna go back to shopping for mother of pearl buttons.."

"Shut up Whitlock," I chuckled, hitting his arm playfully. "Goodnight."

"Night..."

He kissed me on the cheek and then he went into the house. I waved to Tanya and as she pulled off she beeped the horn twice. Afterwards I went into the house where Esme, Carlisle, and Nessie were watching a movie. I plopped down beside them and joined in. They were watching Snow White, obviously Nessie's choice, and a good choice at that. It's been a bittersweet night.

**So, I hope y'all like this chapter. It took so long to post because I've rewritten it at least six times. Anywho...let me know what you think, and thanks for reading! I'll hopefully be posting again soon.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Alice**

Jasper and I are on a date. It's a makeup date for him missing my birthday. He and Tanya went to visit his mother last weekend during my birthday to see her new place, so I gave him a get out of jail free card for that one. I didn't really even have time to celebrate. It's now the middle of April and the festival seems to be just around the corner. Everything that can go wrong, is going wrong and it feels like it's up to me to fix it. I've been burning the shit out of the midnight oil the last couple weeks. So, when my birthday came all I wanted to do was eat and watch a movie. Everybody complied...Carlisle grilled out, Esme made mac and cheese, and a cake. I ate and we all settled in to watch my personal favorite, Ninja Assassin. However, I fell asleep right before Meka and Riazo meet. It wasn't a bad time... I visited the grave earlier that day too though, and sobbing at my parents tombstones took a lot out of me. Some visits go better than others.

"I just really miss you. I feel so far from you," I said.

"Well if you didn't always have your nose in that damn binder, you wouldn't miss me so much."

"Well Jasper, I can't help it. I just wanna make sure everything is perfect."

"I'm sorry I just never see you Alice. If you aren't talking to Victoria or Alec, then you're scribbling or studying or nodding off. I can't ever get your full attention anymore."

"I'm sorry. This is just really important to me. I wanna make sure every penny goes where it should, and I wanna make sure we have enough of everything."

"I understand that Alice, but it's a small festival. How hard can it be to plan it?"

"Are you say that I'm exaggerating?"

"I'm just saying that you're probably making it harder than it has to be."

"You know what Jasper, you try planning a tri-county festival. This is like the volunteer club times a million... I have some faculty help but they said it'd be mostly my responsibility. I cannot beli... you know what, enjoy your fucking pizza."

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah... I am."

"That's right...walk away from this like you always do when we fight or argue Alice. You're a chicken."

"I'm not a chicken but I'm not gonna be attacked because I wanna do something that might make a difference."

"Are you saying what I do doesn't make a difference?"

"Who in the hell is talking about you? Why are you being so self centered right now Jasper?"

The pizza was paid for already, so I got up and walked out of Maters and Cheese. I didn't get far because Jasper was right behind me. He grabbed me by the arm. It didn't hurt, but it was enough to stop me.

"Come on."

"Come where? I'm not getting in a fucking car with you Jasper."

"Get in the car Alice."

"No! I'm walking home!"

"Alice please? I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry I'm being a jerk. I am being a jerk and I'm being selfish and I'm sorry Alice. Please don't freeze me out? Please? Let's just talk..."

He let go of my arm and grabbed my hand instead, leading me to his car. I got in and sat with my legs and arms crossed. I didn't want to look at him because I'm too mad and I don't want him to see my angry tears.

"I'm sorry Alice. The truth is... I feel like I'm losing you. I mean you're consumed by planning this, and studying for the ACT's, and keeping your grades up, and all this stuff and I don't get to see you anymore and by the time you have spare time again I'll be gone for the summer."

"I have thought about that you know. We're gonna be okay Jasper. We are...in June we have Essie and Carlson's wedding and you're gonna be my date. In July you're visiting for the fourth and in August you're coming home. We're gonna be okay."

"Then why do I just already feel like I'm losing you?"

"Losing me how? To who?"

"Oh come on Alice...everybody can see that Alec wants you."

"What? That's ridiculous. We're just friends."

"Open your eyes. It's the way he looks at you. The way he's so willing to do every little task you ask him to. He's no better than Samantha."

"You're being ridiculous Jasper, really."

"I'm not...and you're naive if you think I am."

"Well... I guess I'm naive. It doesn't matter though Jasper because I love you...why are you...why are you trying to do this to us?"

"Do what?"

"You're trying to tear us down. Why?"

"I'm sorry...I'm being a real bastard right now, huh?"

"Yes...you are but I love you anyway. Just don't give up on us Jasper..."

I hate Jasper so much right now, it's just a shame that I love him twice as much as I hate him. Even when he's being a jealous jackass I just can't resist letting him hold me, and wipe my tears, and nuzzle my neck.

We sat in the truck for about an hour arguing, hugging, cuddling, and making up. We talked about him being jealous and then we devised a plan to keep in touch during the summer. We have to talk everyday, even if it's for a minute, or thirty seconds.

**XXX**

Today we are putting up posters up all over the tri-county for the festival. We have permission, and since we want people to show up we're giving them a month to clear their schedules. Of course I enlisted Rose, Bella, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward for the job, but Victoria and Alec are coming along too since they are helping plan. Oh, and Jane...

We plan to end the day at Hot Toddy's where Edward and I are supposed to take the Gravemaker's challenge. I'm not saying that I'll win...but I'll get farther than him. My pride won't let me wimp out on this.

**Jasper**

I feel guilty every time I put a sign over a missing pet poster, but it's for the good of the festival and I need to support Alice, so adios Larry the chocolate lab. This day hasn't been particularly eventful, though the guys and girls have divided up into teams. Since Edward and Alice are supposed to be taking the challenge tonight, a little battle of the sexes has broken out and the losers have to buy the winners meals. We are losing, but only because they gave us raggedy staple guns.

I managed to keep my composure and not confront Alec whenever he stared Alice down. I guess if he's just looking it can't hurt, but I still don't like the thought of him thinking about her. She is totally oblivious to it though. It amazes me how she doesn't notice how creepy he is. Maybe she's just gotten used to it over time. I mean, she has had to deal with his weirdness her entire life. Maybe I'm the odd one out for even saying anything about it... I just can't help it!

Since we talked last night I do feel better about the state of things, and we did make a plan to stay in touch, but I'm worried that won't be enough. I need to do this, I need to start getting more familiar with the company I'm gonna run some day but...I've just grown so attached to her. She's like a vital organ to me now.

Suddenly an array of hooping and hollering broke out across the street. The girls had reached the finish line we marked. They'd finished hanging flyers before us. After a victory dance on the sidewalk, they came over to do it in our faces. Alice was the leading of the gloat parade. I just let her have her moment in the sun.

**Alice**

After doing our victory dance I took a little time to brag about my exceptional poster hanging ability, to Jasper in particular. He had a look on his face that let me know he wasn't amused. That's what was so funny about it. He didn't complain about having to pay for my meal, he always does no matter how much I protest, but felt good to earn it this time.

When we were walking to Coach McCarty's van he grabbed my hand and kissed it, looping his fingers with mine. I smiled at him and leaned in.

We ended up in the very back seat on the way to the restaurant but I didn't mind. It gave me a chance to catch a nap and cuddle with Jasper at the same time. Why not kill two birds with one stone? It was a short, comfortable sleep. Then again I can't say I've ever had a bad nap whenever Jasper's holding me.

**XXX**

I took the last bite and everyone cheered. I finished before Edward, but it's come at a price. Before they could take my picture I booked it outside, to the woods and I puked up the Gravemaker challenge right onto the edge of the forest floor. While I was doing so I felt Jasper come behind me and push my hair out of the way. When I was done blowing chunks I wiped my mouth and turned to him, leaning against his chest for support. I could hear the thudding of his heart and smell his cologne. It was comforting.

"You won, it damn near killed ya, but you won," he said.

"I know... I'm the winner."

"Come on winner...let's go get you cleaned up."

"Okay."

**XXX**

"Alice you're gonna fail this test, like you failed the other ones. You're never going to learn how to drive because you're a loser. A crappy driver. It'll never happen for you, so you better be rich enough to afford a chauffeur or your ass is gonna be on the bus because I don't have time to drive you around," said Edward.

"You son of a bitch! How dare you say that to me! I'm gonna kill you!"

"Yeah...and when you go to prison you still won't have your license. You can't do it."

"Shut up! I can do it! I can't believe..."

"Can't believe what Alice? I'm just being real with you. I'm letting you know about yourself. You can't drive. Never will...accept it. Embrace it. At least though, you'll save money because you'll never have to worry about a car note or car insurance."

"I'm gonna go in here, take this test, and when I come out I'm going to kick your ass and tell Bella, and Daddy, and Esme on you!"

"Boo hoo little baby. Boo hoo."

I knew having Edward take me to my driver's test was a bad idea. He didn't want to bring me. He only agreed because he wanted the day off of school, and I needed to go so I wasn't in a position to argue. It's just like he went crazy though. As soon as I got in the car he started putting me down, telling me I'll never drive...talking to me like a dog. Edward and I have exchanged our share of nasty words, but some of that stuff was just downright mean that he said to me! It's the first time since middle school that Edward has managed to really hurt my feelings.

I walked in, checked in and took my seat waiting. There weren't that many people there yet, so I got back quickly. I've had all of the driving instructors here, so they all know me and I know them. This time I had Betsy, again.

"Alice, back for another try?"

"Yes I am."

"Well good. Come on, let's start."

I got into the car. She made me show her where all the bells and whistles were, and I did. Then I pulled out. I knew the driving course pretty good by now so I could just do it without her giving me too much instruction. I'd gotten three quarters of the way through without incident when a dog ran into the middle of the street. I threw on brakes quickly, so quickly that the tires squealed and I could smell burnt rubber. Afterwards I drove back to the DMV preparing to hear that I'd failed again. That could have caused an accident...stopping for a dog. I don't particularly like animals, but I can't hurt one. Plus, I think I saw that one on a lost dog sign Saturday. He's got a family.

I put the car in park and held my head low. Betsy cleared her throat a couple times while scribbling on her clipboard.

"Well Alice...I did have to take off some points for your abrupt brake. That wasn't safe, and had there been cars behind you it would have caused an accident, however, your technique was good, your speed control was excellent, and you seem to be an overall safe driver. It's my pleasure to tell you that you have passed this test and you can get your license."

"What? I passed! Oh my gosh, I passed!"

"You passed!"

I hugged Betsy and jumped out of the car. I handed her the keys and she handed me a slip of paper to give the people to make my card. Before I went back into the building I walked over the Edward's jeep where he was reading one of Carlisle's old medical magazines. I tapped on the window for him to unlock the door. When he did I opened it and smacked him.

"What the..."

"That's for saying all that mean stuff to me! I passed, you ninny! Take that! Ha!"

"Alice, don't you see?"

"Don't I see what jackass?"

"I said that to you to get you in the right mindset to pass the test. All you needed was a little reverse psychology."

"What?"

"Yup...and it worked. You're welcome and I forgive you."

"Whatever. I'm going to get my license and I'm driving home..."

"No you're not. Not unless you want me to drop you off at the car lot so you can buy your own damn car to drive home."

"Edward, come on. I've driven before."

"Nope."

"You owe me because you said mean things to me. It hurt my feelings."

"I've repaid you because I helped you to pass. Now go on, I'm trying to read."

"I'm driving home."

"I'd like to see it."

I snatched the keys out of the ignition and ran into the building. I'm gonna drive home.

**XXX**

"Well a celebration is definitely in order! I'm proud of you Alice. I know how much this meant to you," said Carlisle.

"Thanks dad."

"You know, you could call me that more often," he said as he gave me a warm smile. "So, what kind of car are you thinking of?"

"Oh, I was just gonna get something small with my savings."

"Alice you don't need to do that."

"What? Why?"

"Because...money for your first car has been available since your birth. It's taken care of. So look for something new, something safe, and dependable. Sports cars are out of the question, and no monster trucks either please?"

"Okay..okay..I'll look."

"Alright. Congratulations again, Alice."

"Thanks."

I had gone by the store to tell Esme first and she ordered a cake. Then I went to the doctor's office to tell Carlisle. The entire time Edward was sulking like a baby because I stole his keys and forced him to be a passenger in his own Jeep. I can't help myself... I've been waiting for a really long time to have the green light to get behind the wheel and now that I have it, I'm driving to the moon and back!

When the time came Edward and I went to pick Nessie up from school. I didn't give his keys back after our first round of errands, because I knew if I did I'd never get them back. So I kept them. When Nessie came out of the school I honked the horn twice and she came running to the Jeep, seemingly excited to see me behind the wheel and not Edward.

"Alice, you did it!"

"I did Nessie! I can drive now!"

"I'm so happy! Now I don't have to look at Edward in the morning anymore."

"Hey!"

"Sorry Edward."

"Alright...next stop, Forks High and then...home I guess. I don't wanna give Edward too much of a heart attack."

When we got in the school parking lot everybody was in their usual spot, except they weren't hovered around Edward's jeep, they were hovered around Jasper's range rover. I pulled up and honked the horn, putting the car in park and turning it off. Edward quickly snatched the keys while Bella and Rosalie started screaming. When I got outta the car they tackled me, hugging me and jumping with me. I showed them my license and they commented on how good my picture was. It was the conversation I've been waiting to have for a year. I just wish my mom and dad could be here to see this...

After a few minutes Rosalie left to go to work and Emmett high tailed it over to football tryouts. Edward followed him and Bella started on her way to the library to stock the summer reads shelves. It's about that time. The only ones left were me, Jasper, and Nessie, who had opted to stay with me instead of going to watch the tryouts.

"Gimme your keys," I said.

"Not a chance," said Jasper.

"Please? I'm a good driver. Please Jas, please?"

"Nope..."

I tried stealing his keys but he was too quick for me. Before I could take them he and Nessie had gotten in the car. He threatened to lock me out if I tried to take them again, so I agreed to play nice. I guess I'll have to live to drive another day.

**Jasper**

Alice is getting her car today. She wouldn't tell me what she picked out, instead she says she wants to surprise me. I'm just concerned it's gonna be something dangerous like a Ferrari. I'm sure Dr. Cullen will try and make her get something reasonable, but with Alice you never can tell.

I didn't have much homework to do this weekend. Just a little for math and a one page paper. The paper, I did without much effort. It was just a reflection on The Fall of the House of Usher. The math homework was more difficult to complet,e but I managed to get it done. It's the last thing I have to go over before the test on Tuesday. Isn't that an odd day to have a test?

After I shut my book I went downstairs to find something to eat. I didn't want to ruin my appetite though. As soon as Alice picks out her car we are supposed to picnic at the lake. She's promised to prepare a meal with her own two hands. I'm skeptical about trying it, but if it's sandwiches and pudding cups how can things go wrong?

The beeping of a horn brought me out of my search for food. I walked down the hall and opened the front door, only to see a pink Volkswagen Beetle with eyelashes sitting in the driveway. I'm just glad it's nothing that goes too fast.

**XXX**

"You know Alice, I think you may have found your knack. These are really good peanut butter sandwiches," I said with a chuckle.

"Don't tease me Jasper! It's not funny. I can't cook but I did my best. I have bologna too."

"Well that's good because I'm starved. Oh, that reminds me... I got you something."

"What?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the keychain I bought for her. It was a little pig that you could squeeze to make his eyes pop out of his head. Kind of like a stress reliever.

"A keychain. My first one! Thanks."

"No problem. Just promise me that you'll be safe on the road."

"I promise Jasper. I'll be safe."

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

I put my hand up to her cheek and felt her soft skin beneath my fingertips. She gave me a tiny smile before leaning in to kiss me. Afterwards we sat on the sand, watching a man fish, and curse every time he didn't get the kind of fish he wanted. It was the perfect Saturday.


	18. Chapter 18

**Jasper**

I packed the last of my things. It's my last day in Forks. It's also the day of the festival and I'm running late. Alice has called me ten times. She's gonna skin me alive. I put on my volunteer shirt and hopped in the car. She'd stopped calling, but only because she was probably sharpening her blades. I'm pretty much dead meat.

When I got to the huge open field where the festival was being held everything seemed to be in place. The band was setting up, Victoria was testing the mics, Rose and Bella had the goody bags all ready on the table, and Tanya and the rest of the women on food duty were setting out plates and ladles, but Alice was nowhere to be found.

Edward and Emmett were sitting out extra chairs and setting up the raffle table. I figured they'd know where my girlfriend is.

"Hey, where's your sister," I asked Edward.

"Oh she's gone with Alec. They realized they didn't have any mustard for the hot dogs and stuff so they're gone to the store."

"Alone?"

"Yeah... alone," said Emmett. "Why? Scared he's gonna whisk her away?"

"Naw, course not."

I don't like this. I don't like it one bit. What can I do though? They need bulk orders of mustard and Alice didn't drive her car today. Oh gosh I should have packed last night. I should have been on time then I could have taken her, but I wasn't. Now she's gone with that creep.

I went over to my station and I sat down in the chair. The shirts were neatly rolled up. That's a good thing because I'm no good at folding and things like that. In fact, all the stuff in my suitcase is sort of just tossed in there.

No more than ten minutes after I took to my station, Samantha waltzed over to where I was. I haven't accepted any more sweets from her, and I've tried to be distant, but it hasn't done any good. She still greets me with the same eager smile and partially exposed bosom that she's always greeted me with.

"Hey Jas...see she's got you workin, huh?"

"Yeah...well, I will be once this thing starts."

"Yeah. We only got an hour left. I wonder what's taking her and Alec so long?"

"They're getting mustard."

"I know, they are getting mustard. The store is only ten minutes away."

"Can I help you with anything?"

"I know you threw my note away, and the brownies I made for you a couple days ago. Why?"

"I've got a girlfriend Samantha. It's not right for me to be accepting your gifts and love letters. Alice doesn't like it. You should be ashamed for even giving them to me."

"I just thought you and Alice were temporary, is all. Didn't seem like you two would be together long."

"Well we're gonna be together for a while Samantha. I'm a lost cause so you might as well move on and find somebody else to bake for and pine after."

"Whatever you say Jasper... just remember that when she's gone, I'll take you in."

"She's not going anywhere."

"Problem here," asked Emmett.

"No, no problem. Sam was just leaving," I said.

"Bye Jasper."

Emmett looked at me with one brow raised.

"What?"

"What was that all about?"

"She was asking me why I threw away her baked goods. I got her straight."

"Well good... Jas it's not gonna be the same without ya around here this summer. You're gonna miss everything. Working at the pool with me and Edward for the morning lifeguard shift, lazy days at the lake, nights under the stars with Alice..."

"You're making me depressed Em."

"Sorry...I know you gotta go though. Oh hey, there's Alice."

I can definitely say that she's been in better shape. She was toting two big jugs of mustard and mayonnaise and she had on a pair of black glasses that seemed to cover her entire face. Her hair was all over her head too. She's gonna cuss me out. I can tell just by seeing how wild she looks that I'm gonna get it for not answering my phone, and for being late.

"Hey baby," I said as she approached my table.

"So nice of you to show up Jasper..."

"I'm sorry I was late Alice, I was packing."

"Excuses excuses. I'm mad at you and I wanted you to know that."

"I said I was sorry...Can't I get just a little sympathy and a little kiss?"

"No."

"Just a tiny peck," I asked as I tugged at the bottom of her shirt, pulling her closer to my booth. She folded and smiled. I went in for the kill. Her lipgloss today tastes like bubblegum. She never ceases to surprise me with her ever changing lip balm flavors. After we pulled away I took off her glasses and I saw that her eyes were puffy and bloodshot.

"You gotta get some rest Alice."

"I will... I will, tomorrow for sure."

"You better. Now go do your duties. Boss people around and stuff."

"Okay."

"Hey Alice..."

"Huh?"

"I love you."

She smiled for a minute before replying "I love you too," and walking off to go yell at people or make some middle schoolers cry.

**Alice**

The speaking portion of the festival was over and everything was going smoothly. I wasn't sure it would at first, because we had so much trouble this morning. We'd had two bands booked but the first couldn't come because their lead singer and bassist were having twins. So, we hired out the cover band for the entire day and when they were on the way they caught a flat! Emmett and Edward went and got them, while Victoria checked on one of our speakers who had the runs because she decided to stop at a random taco shack on the side of the road when she was traveling here. As if that wasn't enough to worry about, half of the middle schoolers who volunteered to babysit the toddlers fell ill with a case of mono that's going around. I was having a nervous breakdown by the time I found that out, and since I've been living off caffeine pills and chocolate milk for the last three days I'm a little on edge and a lot exhausted. When I discovered on top of everything else that we didn't have any mustard for the hot dogs, I lost it.

Yes, I had a meltdown. Alec saw me crying and he talked to me like crap before taking me with him to get mustard, and forcing me to eat half a box of granola bars. It was a kick in the pants, but I needed it. I can't say that I'm not starving now, and I definitely can't say that I'm not exhausted but the shakes and shivers I had are starting to subside and so is my energy. If I hadn't just had two cokes I would have another caffeine pill, but I don't wanna OD.

I was glad that I'd told my story, how my parents died. Victoria and I told it together since she was involved. We both managed to hold it together and not one tear was shed, though I did feel the lump in my throat growing so big that it felt like it was choking me. Still though, we talked and people listened. The rest of the guests were standing by the steps of the stage we'd set up and when we walked off they enveloped us in a big group hug. Some of them had been people who were behind the wheel after drinking and as a result caused an accident. Some people were the actual victims, or loved ones of people who'd been hit by drunk drivers. Their stories left me trembling, not because I was cold but because I was emotionally in shock. I felt sad that this many people were touched, but happy that because we all found each other and we're doing all we can to prevent it from happening again.

When the music cranked up again people started dancing in the grass. Stray children were running around with bubble wands and water guns, spraying people down, and my friends had combined the raffle and t-shirt booth into one, and they were all hovered around it. I decided to go over there.

"Hey y'all..."

"We are so proud of you," said Rosalie.

"Thanks guys."

"So that's why we all pitched in and got you something," said Bella.

"Oh my gosh, y'all didn't have to do that! What is it?"

Bella slid a box my way and I opened it slowly. Too slow for Rosalie's taste because she snatched it from me, ripped the paper off, and handed it back. I lifted the lid and inside was a necklace. The chain was gold and the charm was a gold thimble with sunflowers carved around it. It was beautiful and creative.

"You guys, I love it! I'm gonna put it on right now! You didn't pay too much for this did you?"

"Don't worry about it," said Edward.

"Thanks y'all!"

I took it out of the box and Jasper helped me put it on. It wasn't too tight around my neck and it wasn't dropping down into my cleavage. The chain was the perfect length, which made me love it all the more. It's the perfect necklace for me. Something I love to do, and something I love. They know me so well.

After a few minutes of chatting to everybody and getting all the hot gossip, I decided it was time to eat. My stomach had started growling again and I felt shaky. So, I headed to the food booth, Jasper was on my heels.

"Tanya and Esme saved you a plate," he said.

"They did?"

"Yup. I really am proud of you Alice."

"Thanks. Did you help pick that out?"

"No... Rose and Bella did. They would only let me buy the box."

"Oh..."

"But, I did get you something. I'll give it to you tonight."

"Okay."

"You're gonna be surprised."

"Why? Is it a breakup letter or something?"

"Course not Alice, I wish you wouldn't joke that way."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm not telling you!"

I hate secrets, especially when it has to do with a gift, but he's not giving in so I guess there's nothing I can do. When I went to get my plate Tanya and Esme were talking. I can tell now when Esme's gossiping. She doesn't do it often, but when she does her eyebrows shoot straight up. When Tanya's gossiping she always puts her hand on her hip. I wonder what strange bodily gesture I do when I gossip?

"Hey y'all."

"Hey Mary Alice, you gotta be starving," Tanya asked.

"I am...I'm about to pass out."

"Your father isn't happy about that Alice, Edward let it slip that you haven't been eating or sleeping. He said he's gonna lecture you as soon as you wake up tomorrow."

"Then I'll never wake up..."

"I'll try to soften him up and make him go easy on ya. Jasper, all ready for your trip?"

"Yes ma'am... I am."

"Well that's good. And I'll expect to see you at my sister's wedding."

"For sure Mrs. Cullen, Alice would kill me if I missed it."

"Excellent."

Jasper's charming. I mean, I'm sure I knew that from the first time I met him, but seeing now how smooth he is with parents just made me realize it again. Gosh I'm gonna miss him... now that I don't have a million other things to think about it's starting to set in. Sure, I'm gonna have stuff to do. I'll be preoccupied alright, but I'm really gonna miss him.

We sat down at an empty picnic table and I began digging into the chicken, the potato salad, the corn, anything my hand or fork touched, I picked up and put in my mouth. I had to look completely unsexy but Jasper just sat there, watching me eat, with a smile on his face. His cocky grin.

"What? I'm starving!"

"I didn't say anything to you Mary Alice," he replied snarkily.

"But you're looking at me and smiling in a taunting way."

"Can't I smile at my girlfriend?"

"Not the way you're smiling. It feels like you're one upping me or something."

"You're crazy...there's barbecue sauce all over your face, on your nose too."

"See! I knew it! You're just smiling at me because you're making fun of me!"

I took a napkin and wiped the sweet, spicy stickiness off of my face and Jasper chuckled.

"What now?"

"You missed a spot. I'll get it."

Get it he did. He placed his mouth on my chin, close to my lips. Though it wasn't a kiss it carried the weight of one. My heart started to beat a million miles per hour, it felt like. My exhales quivered as they left my body and I started to clench. It was like the wheels inside me were turning and I was becoming tighter and more wound up by the second. What am I gonna do when I feel like this and he's gone this summer? Sure, I could handle it myself, but it won't feel the same as when he's touching me, kissing me, or making love to me.

"Got it," he smiled.

"Please tell me you've got protection in the truck."

"Always. You gotta tell me what you want, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me what you want Mary Alice."

Outside, at this festival, in this field full of people... Jasper is turning me on. His eyes have that dark haze that they get whenever he's seducing me and there's a smile that's just at the corner of his lips.

"I want you, all night, until we can't anymore."

"Then that's what you're gonna get. Now eat your food. You're gonna need your strength."

He got up and walked away, smiling back at me like nothing had happened, like he hadn't just turned me on. I just watched him go back to the booth where everybody was, and then I turned around and I ate.

While I was eating I happened to look around and people looked happy. There were large groups crowded around the flat screens that housed the pictures and footage of alcohol related wrecks. The photos were chilling, and even more chilling than the pictures of the cars themselves were the pictures of cars with blood and human tissue splattered across it. Seeing something like that is not only shocking, it's damn sobering.

**XXX**

"We would like to take the time to thank everybody who came out today. We wanna give a special shout out to our volunteers. We want to give special thanks to our sponsors. We'd also like to let our guest speakers know how much we appreciate them being here and sharing their stories with us. Thanks to the faculty members who helped us along the way and to my friends who I tortured since back in the winter. Um, we're just glad you all came out. We hope everyone has learned something today."

I took a step back from the mic and Victoria stepped to it. A representative from MADD was here, and we were handing her the money. Victoria was gonna announce how much it was. Alec's job was to announce how many people took the pledge to never drink and drive. It should have been every damn person in this festival, but some people aren't swayed so easily.

"I am proud to announce that today we have raised a total of...$19,000 for this organization. Everybody great job and I want you to know that your money is going to a good cause."

I was shocked that we'd raised that much. I mean, we were selling t-shirts at $10, and we had five hundred and we sold every single one of them. Then there were the $5 raffle tickets, then there were donations in general... I guess that evens out.

"We are pleased to announce that there were five hundred people who took the pledge today," said Alec. "If you didn't get to do it here, remember you can always do it online. Thank you to everybody who did take it. If nothing else, we wanna thank y'all once again for coming out. Please drive safely so we can see you around sometime."

With that it was over. The months of hard work and planning and it turned out better than I'd ever expected. Victoria, Alec, and I talked about how well it turned out and we thanked the MADD rep for coming out. She was gonna have a police escort her straight to the bank to drop that money in the night deposit box. Hell, I don't blame her.

I hopped off stage and looked around. There were chairs to be folded. Trash to be picked up. Drinks to be distributed and tables to be let down. What if I don't get to hang with Jasper tonight?

"Alice, you go," said Victoria. "We'll handle this. Your lover boy is waiting."

"Oh my goodness, thank y'all! I'll see you later!"

I waved to them and I told Nessie and Carlisle, who'd been busy entertaining the other speakers all day, where I was going. He didn't give me a curfew but he did snap at me a little for starving myself and depriving myself of sleep. I guess that's the price you pay when you live with the town doctor.

When I got to Jasper's truck he was waiting. I knocked on the window and he unlocked the doors. I climbed in but he didn't tell me where we were going. He just took off. For all I know he could be taking me to timbuktu and I'd be none the wiser.

After about ten minutes of driving we ended up at a familiar place...the woods. He parked the car and turned it off. The seats in back were already let down. Thoughts from earlier filled my mind and a bubble of pressure formed between my legs. It didn't help one bit when he kissed my ear and I felt his hot breath against it. Shivers went down my spine, through my legs, and right to my center.

I turned my head and I looked him in the eyes. I licked his lips, tasting the sweetness of them and he licked mine. Our tongues danced around each other until our lips locked. He palmed my breast with his hand, massage and manipulating it, making me wetter and making my clench each time he applied pressure to my nipple. I decided that I shouldn't be the only one on a rollercoaster so I moved my hands along his body until my fingers were touching the top of his jeans. I went down a little lower, unzipping them. After slipping past his boxers I found myself palming his erection. It was smooth, aside from the veins, and warm in my hands. Jasper's breath hitched. I ran my fingers along it gently. Exploring the most private part of him, that knows the most private part of me.

"Wanna move to the back," he asked.

"Yes."

So we did. We moved to the back and stripped completely naked. This part of the woods is empty this time of year because snakes and ticks are so bad. So it's unlikely we'll run into anybody.

Jasper lay back, his erection stood straight up, both greeting and intimidating me. He grabbed a condom from his wallet, and he opened the wrapper with his teeth. While he put it on he was staring at me and I was staring at him. It was the calm before the storm.

He motioned for me to come to him and I did, until I was on his lap, lowering myself onto him, letting his hardness fill every available space inside me. A whimper escaped my lips before I could pull it back. He felt so good inside me.

"You feel so good," he whispered as he started to move his cock and grind his hips. I replied to him in a soft moan. I grinded my hips along with him and the car started to slightly rock with us. He captured my lips in a kiss that was so hard, it was sure to make my mouth swell. I don't care though. I love it when he kisses me that way because when I does, I'm reminded that I'm his.

After a few moments we switched positions. He lay me down and slowly got in top of me, entering and filling me to the brim again. This time, with my legs spread as wide as they would go, he gave me every inch of himself in every way that he could. He made hard, fast love to me that made us both break out in a sweat. My toes curled and my back arched as he sent me spinning into an orgasm that just wouldn't quit, especially not with the way our bodies were continuously clashing. It was like a never ending pleasure-filled rollercoaster. Once I climbed to the top and rushed down the hill, I was immediately climbing the hill again.

Jasper and I switched positions again, he said it was how he lasted so long, pausing and restarting. This time I was on my knees. The result of my pleasure was starting to creep down my thighs but that was of little importance once he started hitting exactly the right spot to make my knees quiver and my heart jump. My vocabulary was limited to "yes baby," "Mmmm," or "Jasper." That was all I could manage through the panting and the back to back orgasms that had more of my essence dripping down my thighs.

When we switched positions again he was on top of me. He looked me in the eye and brushed my hair from my face before kissing me and connecting us. I held onto him tight, and he did the same to me. This time things went slow. It was a type of torture both as sweet and as slow moving as honey. I wanted it to be over and I never wanted it to end. It felt like we could be one person. I could feel his heart beating against me and I swear they were on the same rhythm. My thigh started to twitch and I felt that familiar dot of pressure. It started at my core, like it always does and with each kiss, each lovely penetration the dot expanded over my entire body until it suddenly exploded and I came hard, harder than I've come tonight. Jasper groaned, sucking in air between his teeth and clutching my thigh so hard it was sure to bruise. We were both moaning and whimpering. I started crying.

"Hey...don't cry," he whispered groggily as he wiped the tears off my face.

"I can't help it. I feel so close to you and you're going away."

"Alice you said it yourself, we're gonna be okay."

"I know... I'm just gonna miss you."

"We'll talk and video chat...now stop crying and let me hold you, let me hold you under the stars."

"Okay."

I snuggled up to him and we lay in the truck in silence for close to at hour. Neither one of us even moved, with the exception of him stroking my arm and kissing the side of my face every couple minutes. I wish I had a special bottle for moments like this that allowed me to keep them forever and pull them out whenever I want.

After a while I dozed off in the truck, wrapped in Jasper's arms.

**XXX**

"I'll call or text as soon as I get there Mary Alice..and on the first day, I'll wear your suit."

"You better. I love you."

"I love you too."

He kissed me and then hugged me and I never wanted to let go, but I had to. I watched him get into the truck and I waved him goodbye, then he was gone... When I couldn't see the back of his car anymore I went into the house and slowly walked up the stairs. I just wanted to shower, so I did. I showered and I cried. It's only for the summer, and I'll see him next month but it might as well be an eternity. Why am I being so childish and weepy? It's just for the summer...it's just gonna feel like forever.

When I came outta the shower I dried off and slipped on my nightgown. I rummaged through my bag to find my cell phone and I found instead, another gift. It was a box, neatly wrapped. It was then I remembered Jasper saying he'd gotten me another present.

I unwrapped it and opened the box to see two little people. One was a girl, clad in pink with a little black yarn ball atop her head in a bun and my picture was where her face should be. The other was a boy dressed in blue with yellow yarn sloped across his tiny wooden head, like Jasper's hair. Jasper's picture made the little guy's face. I laughed to myself because they were so cute and then I took them from the box. I realized then that they stand up and their little fingertips are magnetic, so they can always hold hands.

I miss him already. The summer is going to feel like eternity. I'll probably cry like a kid starting kindergarten for a week...but it's gonna be okay, me and Jasper are gonna be okay.


	19. Chapter 19

_Sorry I took so long to add. There is some stuff in this chapter I really struggled with but hopefully you guys enjoy reading it._

**Jasper**

I know I'm in for a big argument once I reach Seattle. The Cullens' plane and mine are supposed to arrive within ten minutes of eachother, so we are riding to the hotel together. I haven't kept my end of the bargain. I didn't call Alice for a week and a half and whenever she called me I was in the middle of dinner with my dad, brainstorming with my work partner Bobby, or being lectured half to death. So, I'd either have to shoot her to voicemail or pick up just to tell her that I couldn't talk. At night, I'm so pooped that I can't even fathom anything other than going straight to sleep. Ever since then, whenever I try to ring Alice up she sends me straight to voicemail and replies in very brief, one word or one letter text messages.

The plane landed and my ears popped, letting me hear again. I grabbed my backpack and the stewardess handed me my luggage as I went out. I figured since it's only a few days, I won't need many clothes so I packed light. When I got off the plane I started walking out and I happened to spot a familiar bun in the crowd. I also happened to see the rest of the family, and Bella. I ran to catch up and I tapped her on the shoulder. She scowled at me and turned her head. Everybody else said hi though.

We got into the van the Cullens arranged and Alice still wasn't talking to me. Bella and Edward looked amused by the situation. I knew there was no way I'd be able to talk to her unless we had some privacy. The only bad part about that is the fact that I know for sure she won't come into a room with me alone. What am I gonna do?

When we got to the Sorrento, Edward and I found our room. It was down the hall from Bella and Alice's room, and one floor under Dr. Cullen and Esme's. They got a corner suite, probably for some privacy and the romantic view. I won't go knocking, definitely. One of Esme's cousins met us in the lobby. Apparently all the children were staying with her. Nessie was more than happy to go with her and play with her cousins.

The room was nice, the view was good, and the bed looked like it'd feel good enough to sleep in for a million years. If it were capable, I think I actually would sleep for a million years.

"Jasper I could kill you. I could literally kill you," hissed Edward

"Why this time?"

"Alice is pissed! When Alice is pissed off, Bella is worried, and when BElla is worried Bella doesn't put out! If I don't get to have sex with my girlfriend this weekend I'm gonna be tossing pieces of you into the pacific."

"I'm sorry! I just got busy!"

"Doing what?"

"For some reason my dad put me and an intern in charge of one of the Island Parties he throws where he pitches new booze ideas and reminds everybody why they love our booze to begin with."

"An intern...is it a guy?"

"A girl."

"She hot?"

"Yes. Very, her name is Bobby, she's in college and she's got a boyfriend.".

"Jasper don't cheat on Alice."

"I won't! That hasn't even crossed my mind! I just... I need your help."

"My help?"

"Yes! Your help! I need you to help me get her alone."

"Why should I help you?"

"Because if you don't Alice will still be pissed, Bella will still be worried, and you won't get any pussy. That's why."

"When you put it that way, I guess I could tell Alice that I need a minute alone with Bella. You can be in the hallway waiting and y'all can talk."

"Thanks Edward. I owe you a bunch."

So, we started with our plan. I stood against the wall so that the girls couldn't see me when they opened the door to let Edward in. After a brief argument, and the sound of Edward being smacked in the back of the head, Alice emerged. She was in pool clothes. As soon as she laid eyes on me she started back inside but I shut the door.

"Hey! You almost shut my fingers in the door, dickwad!"

"My apologies..."

"Oh shut up. I'm not talking to you anyway."

"You aren't? I could have sworn you were just talking to me."

She stared daggers at me and leaned against the wall with her arms folded across her chest. Her eyes met the wall, the floor, the wallpaper, the door down the hall, and everything else before she would allow them to meet mine. I grabbed her face and turned it towards mine. She closed her eyes and folded in her lips. Stubborn little piggy.

"Alice just talk to me please?"

"..."

"I just wanna explain. Please Alice."

"No. Leave me alone. Go back home."

"Nope. You're not the boss of me, but you're gonna talk to me."

"No I'm not!"

She tried to knock on the door but I lifted her up, carrying her down the hallway kicking and screaming to my room. Once we were in there I put her down, she slapped me, and she tried to make a break for it. I wrapped my arms and legs around her, enveloping her in a hug she couldn't escape. She couldn't move, though she did try.

"Let me go!"

"Not until you listen to what I have to say!"

"You're hurting my arms and my thighs!"

"Well you'd better stop wiggling!"

"I hate you!"

"Does that mean you'll listen?"

"Why should I? You don't wanna talk to me and whenever you'd pick up to tell me you couldn't talk all I'd ever hear was some girl in the background laughing. You don't have to pretend Jasper. If you're interested in another girl just say so."

"Alice...that's what you think?"

"Well what was I supposed to think? All you ever talked about was you and Bobby doing work when you were talking to me, then when you pick up to tell me you can't talk all I hear is some girl in the background. Don't even try to say that she was talking to Bobby because I didn't hear his voice so..."

"Alice...Bobby is a girl."

"What!"

"Yeah... Bobby is a girl. I thought I told you?"

"No. You didn't I would have remembered something like that. Still, it doesn't make it any better. You ignored me and you wouldn't skype me."

"I know...I know. I'm sorry Alice. It's just that, my dad's got us doing most of the work in planning his party for the Fourth and it's a lot of work. If it makes any difference, you're all I ever talk about when Bobby and I aren't planning."

"It doesn't make any difference."

"So you're gonna be mad at me the entire time? Through the wedding, the reception, the two days afterwards?"

"That's my plan."

"Well I'll do whatever you want. Do you want diamonds," I asked slyly, knowing that jewels definitely wasn't something she would accept as penance. If I can say one thing about Alice, it's that she cannot be bought. That's a refreshing change.

"You know damn well diamonds won't do."

"What about a car?"

"I've got a car... a damn good car, thank you very much."

"Hmmm...a baby?"

"Jasper that's not funny! I would kill you if you got me pregnant while we're this age. Don't even joke that way."

"What? It'd be cute...it might even be a little red head. Alice, we could have a little ginger baby and you could put it in a purse like one of those little dogs."

I could see her starting to smile a little.

"We could name him sparky."

"Shut up! I'm still mad at you. Don't try to make me laugh. Like I said, if you got me pregnant now I'd kill you."

"Tell me what to do."

"It just feels like...after that first time when I kissed you and you didn't speak to me for a week. I mean, I feel crazy and a little rejected when you don't call. I'm being so needy."

"I'm sorry I make you feel that way. You know I don't want to."

"I know..."

"Forgive me then, please?"

"I want another apology, a formal one and I want you to kiss my feet."

"Fine...Alice, queen of loveliness, the sewing machine, and my heart. Please accept my sincerest apologies for not upholding the sacred pact we made before my journey to the land of Texas. I'm not worthy of your forgiveness but I beg that you will have mercy on a poor serf such as myself. I am sorry," I said as I lifted her feet and placed my lips to it. They smelled like her sweet smelling sugar cookie lotion. When I was done Alice laughed, I started laughing too.

"I guess I forgive you."

"Thanks. Now, let's make us a red headed baby named Sparky."

She punched me.

"That's not funny Jasper! You better not get me pregnant," she said while she pulled me close. A baby with Alice, what would that be like?

**Alice**

Jasper and I lay on the bed after making up, and really saying hello to each other. I wish I could say that I'm not still worried, but I am. I don't wanna lose him but I feel like I might be. I understand that he's busy... I guess it's just hard for me to not be jealous when he's working so closely with a girl and I'm two states away from him.

After getting my breath back and catching a second wind I cleaned myself up and put on my swimming gear again. I still have every intention of going to the pool. I just wonder if Bella and Edward and done doing it yet.

"Leaving me so soon darling," asked Jasper.

"Yes, I am. I'm going swimming."

"I wanna come too."

"Well put on your trunks. I'll come back to get you. I'm going to wrangle up Edward and Bella."

"Okay."

I knocked on the door twice and Edward came to it wearing one of my strapless sundresses. I would have fussed at him, but he looked so damn ridiculous already that I couldn't even do it. Bella was sitting on my bed laughing her ass off while Edward blushed.

"What the hell is going on in here?"

"Edward was putting on a show for me to apologize."

"Apologize for what?"

"He asked me if I had milk."

"Edward!"

"What? I said I was sorry. It was a joke. Where's Jasper?"

"In y'alls room changing into his trunks. We're going swimming."

"Well I wanna come," he said.

"Well go change."

I sat on Bella's bed and plopped back. She cleared her throat. I ignored it. So she cleared her throat two more times and twice as loud.

"What?"

"So?"

"We made up... I'm jealous of his partner Bobby, who is a girl."

"It's gonna be fine. I'm sure of it. I'm glad you two are on the up and up again. Even though it's funny seeing you all pissed off. You have to be one of the pettiest girls I've ever known."

"At least I didn't have Jasper dressed up like Vita from Too Wong Foo."

"That was funny, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it would have been if it wasn't my dress! Why couldn't he have worn one of yours?"

"Because...he just couldn't."

After we picked up the boys we went down to the pool, where we saw Nessie and some of Esme's other cousins. Incidentally there were some Cullens there as well. Edward introduced us and they all seemed to know who I was once he said my name. I guess news travels fast. The only people we haven't run into today are Essie and Carlson. I think Essie and Esme were hitting the spa though, having some one on one sister time. Carlisle and Carlson are doing the same. Then tomorrow is the dinner and the rehearsal. The ceremony and reception are all at the hotel. I can't wait to see. It's so pretty here. I bet the ceremony is going to follow suit. I'm also excited for the guest gifts. Essie made candles for everyone and candy from an old family recipe that their mother taught her. Mostly though I'm just excited to see them say the vows. Call me mushy but I'm into the romantic stuff lately.

**XXX**

I thought learning the names of people at the pool was hard, but that was nothing compared to having to learn them at the rehearsal. Cousins, aunties, uncles...it got confusing. Luckily I met a girl, one of my cousins named Corin, who made it a little easier. I don't know how we're related but she's a Cullen, so we must be.

"And see him over there, that's uncle Randstad, he used to be a pimp until he got caught, when he got outta jail he married Martina, who used to be his bottom bitch."

"How do you know all this stuff," I asked.

"Well I've been in this family my whole life, you're new to it but you'll learn. How are you liking being a Cullen so far?"

"It's okay I guess..."

"Well good. That's a sweet piece of dick you got over there. What's his name?"

"Jasper."

"Mhhmmm... Edward's got himself a sweet piece of ass too. What's her name?"

"Bella."

"You two know each other?"

"Yeah...best friends since we were in pull ups."

"Oh, that's nice... Hey I gotta go to the bathroom to powder my nose, you wanna uh, join me?"

I had a feeling she wasn't talking about maybelline. I declined and she winked before walking off. I scurried over to the table where Edward, Bella, and Jasper had sat down.

"You met Corin, huh? She try to get you to do coke with her in the bathroom," asked Edward.

"Yes. She also said that Jasper was a sweet piece of dick and Bella was a sweet piece of ass... Bella, I think she wants you."

"I'll fight her," said Edward.

"You'd better put on your boxing gloves then."

Corin was a shock to the system, I'll admit that much, but she was cool. We talked about our plans and as it turns out she's into fashion too. Not making clothes though, just wearing them and putting them on other people. She's a sophomore at the Rhode Island School of Design, but her field is photography. That's one of the schools I'm considering. Also one that I had my ACT scores sent to when I took them about a month ago. I managed a 29 on it, I hope it's good enough. I'm working on my portfolio now. I really want this school, but I'm applying to some others in case I don't get in. Memphis included.

**Jasper**

"Okay, you get Uncle Carlson..."

"Me? Why do I have to get Uncle Carlson? He's got a knife. He might cut me," I argued.

"Well I have to reign in my dad to try and get some sense into him. He might be more hostile towards you because of the grief you put Alice through..."

"You're right. Edward why in the hell did you let them get this drunk?"

"Me? I left for ten minutes and you were supposed to be watching them and when I came back you had let them start taking shots! I told you how they get!"

"Well I'm sorry, they said just a few, I had no idea that meant twelve a piece!"

"This isn't helping...just go..."

It's the night before the wedding and we've just come back from the bachelor party, which was in a smaller room in the hotel they rented out. It was supposed to be quiet but that's hardly ever the case. Edward left to get ice and when he came back Carlson and Carlisle were doing shots of Everclear. Most of the other men had passed out already and were sleeping off their drunkenness, but not Carlisle and Carlson. They got up, and said they were going to get some blow. Edward and I tried to stop them but they are forces to be reckoned with. We decided we had to stop them when they were going to try and use Carlson's knife to break into a Prius that was in a parking lot across from the hotel.

"1...2...3...go!"

We went, I took the knife out of Carlson's hand and Edward tried to get Carlisle to look at him. He did, I on the other hand got hit with Carlson's fist before I could mutter one word. I was down on the ground. I spit out blood but no teeth, thank goodness no teeth!

I got up slowly and stood at a distance from the action. The only issue was that I had Carlson's knife and he wanted it back.

"Gimme my damn knife boy," said Carlson.

"Uncle Carlson, you gotta calm down," shouted Edward, distracting Uncle Carlson from coming to kick my ass again.

"I will, soon as I get my coke."

"No, no coke," screamed Edward. "You're getting married tomorrow. Essie? Remember?"

"Essie...my sweet Essie. I can do coke with her. Snort it off her tits. She's got great tits."

"Yeah, Esme too," said Carlisle. I like...I like to bury my face in em and put my di..."

"Dad! We gotta go back to the hotel," interrupted Edward. "We've got the wedding tomorrow. Y'all have gotta go to sleep."

"Sleep? I'm not fucking going to sleep. Who's that over there," asked Carlisle as he stumbled back.

"That's Jasper, Alice's boyfriend."

"Oh...him...eh, he's a good kid. But if he ever hurts my Alice I'll cut his balls off!"

"Okay daddy, that's great. Now... don't y'all wanna go back to the hotel? You can have room service steaks and... some water," said Edward.

"Steak sounds good," mumbled Uncle Carlson.

"Good...that's good."

I finally got the courage to come over to them. Uncle Carlson gave me the stink eye and snatched his knife outta my hand. Then he started laughing and he clapped me on the shoulder before we all went back into the building.

We managed to get Carlson and Carlisle back to the hotel safely and then we watched them carefully. All they did was reminisce about the old days. I never pictured Dr. Cullen could be so out of order. I don't even think I'd ever heard him cuss before, but boy oh boy did that change tonight. He and Carlson cussed and talked about women they had and when Carlisle started talking about all the freaky shit he and Esme used to do, and still do, I thought Edward was gonna pass out. Especially when the words piledriver and hummer came up.

When they were done eating they passed right out.

"When he wakes up and he is sober, I'm telling him about himself," said Edward.

"Come on, he was having fun with his brother."

"At my expense," said Edward.

"Your expense? Uncle Carlson punched me and I have a busted lip with a bruised face! I'd say they had fun at my expense."

"That was kinda funny... oh my gosh, can you believe the stuff my daddy was saying? You think it was true," he asked.

"I think every single part of it was true. I mean, you had to get here somehow, right?"

"Shut up! Shut up!"

"You asked."

**Alice**

Oh my gosh! I ran to Essie and pulled up her tank top to hide her boobs. She and Esme sort of got drunk in the hotel room, and now they're making me and Bella walk them to the McDonalds down the street. On the way, Essie felt the need to flash a passing car, only after Esme mooned some people at a stoplight.

"Essie...you're gonna get married tomorrow..." shouted Esme drunkenly.

"I am!"

"And Carlson is gonna fuck the shit outta ya!"

"Yeah! He already does!"

"He does? Carlisle fucks the shit outta me too! I just think it's so fucking hot when he fucks me and he cu..."

"Alright, we're at McDonalds," I shouted loudly.

"Oh...Alice said we're at McDonalds," said Essie.

"Alice... I want... I want two big macs," said Esme.

"I want forty chicken nuggets!"

"Okay... Bella, why don't you get them a seat and I'll get the food."

I could tell that Bella wanted to laugh. They are entertaining, though I could have done without knowing some of the shit I now know from Esme's drunken ramblings. It was bad enough walking in on Carlisle talking dirty to her on the phone. This is a million times worse than that!

I got the food and came to the table where Esme and Essie were laughing so hard they were red in the face. I asked Bella what happened and she told me I didn't want to know. I took her word for it.

"Alice, you're... the best daughter a girl could ask for! I just... I love you so much! It's like... it's like you came outta my pussy!"

"It's like you came outta my pussy too," shouted Essie.

"Thank you both...I love you both too," I replied sheepishly. Their remarks were embarrassing the way they were put, but sweet... I guess.

They ate, and after they threw up the big macs and chicken nuggets on the sidewalk, they were much more manageable. We took them back to Esme and Carlisle's hotel room. They slept like little angels. Bella and I lay down on the pull out couch that was in the suite.

"I still can't believe he said that to me today," said Bella.

"Said what?"

"Got milk..."

"Oh, that. He was just joking. You make him pay for it, remember?"

"Yeah. I just, what's he gonna say when they get bigger, and I get bigger?"

"Whaddya mean," I asked lazily, near the point of dozing off.

"I'm pregnant."

My eyes popped open. There's no way I'm going to sleep now.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what the fuck!? Since when?"

"Since I found out before we came. Alice I'm terrified. I can't tell him."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know... I'm ashamed."

"Well, look... we'll get this sorted out. I promise. I'm here for you."

"Thanks Alice. I don't know what I'd do without you! I love you so much."

"I love you too Bella."

I comforted Bella while she cried for most of the night. She's pregnant.. .that's huge! Carlisle and Esme are going to freak. Renae and Sheriff Swan are going to freak more. He might shoot Edward.

**XXX**

The alarm clock rang the next morning and I woke up. The light pouring in through the windows burned my eyes. Still, I had to get up. There's too much to do. I looked at my phone, Martha and Maurice said they were leaving the airport. I'm excited to see my sister! We didn't think she'd be able to fly, but luckily the doctor cleared her for it. Bella got up too, but she ran to the toilet. I decided to wait until she was done with her morning sickness to wake up Esme and Essie. Esme might be hungover when she wakes up, but I'm pretty sure she'd put two and two together if she saw her son's girlfriend whose gained some weight, puking at the asscrack of dawn.

When Bella came out we woke up Esme and Essie, who rose like zombies. They both had the worst case of bed hair in the history of mankind. Also, their makeup from the night before had smeared all over their faces... It's the first time I've ever seen Esme out of order.

"Alice...you're here."

"Yeah, I'm here... what time are the stylists coming?"

"Um... what time is it?"

"Six."

"In two hours."

"Okay. I'll order us all breakfast. Essie, anything in particular you want?"

"Black strong coffee," she said.

**XXX**

"Oh my gosh, this is weird. There's a baby in there. It's so... there's a baby in there!"

"Yes Alice, there's a baby in here. Wanna feel her kick?"

"Yes."

I was shocked to see Martha so big, and in person. The last time I saw her was Christmas and she barely had a bump then. Now she's just really really pregnant and it's strange to think that my sister is growing a human. Like... a watermelon or something. I'm about to be an aunt. I'm about to be an aunt twice.

It was no easy task getting Esme and Essie sobered up but we did and soon they were back to them old selves. Esme started running shit again like Esme does and Essie turned back into her bubbly old self.

**Jasper**

"No Bobby, they're supposed to be on the special guest list. They are friends of the family and we have a contract for Whitlocks to be used in their restaurants."

"Sorry Jas, I didn't know. You're gone two days and I'm fucking shit up."

"It's fine, I wouldn't have known either if I didn't grow up around it. Call me if there are any other snags.. well... after three my phone will be off for the rest of the night, so shoot me an email and I'll check it in the morning."

"Sure thing. Thanks. I don't know where my head was. I guess it's because my boyfriend dumped me."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, me too. Anyway, go back to your wedding stuff... See you in a few days. Bye."

"Bye."

After that miniature crisis was averted I went back to getting dressed. I'm actually wearing Alice's suit again. It's become my favorite. I guess because I get so many compliments when I wear it. It's a major self esteem booster. When I was done I went down to where the rest of the guests were sitting. I figured I was a guest of the groom, so I sat on that side close to the back, next to Maurice and Martha, who was hugely pregnant. Carlson, Carlisle, Edward and one of their cousins were already standing up there. They looked well considering the night they had. I wish I could say they same but I do have a busted lip, and the right side of my face is bruised from how hard it smacked the pavement.

After about thirty minutes the music started. Esme, Bella, and Alice walked in all wearing these gold one shoulder dresses. Esme's was long and flowy. Bella's was shorter, but still flowy, and Alice's was the shortest, stopping above the knee. It was also tight. Beautiful. She stared at me and shook her head. It's gonna be funny explaining to her what happened to my face..

After the maid of honor and the bridesmaids walked out Nessie and a few other little girls walked down the aisle tossing flower petals onto the ground with smiles on their little faces. I bet they are more trouble than they look. Little kids always are. The same goes for the little boys who were acting as the ring bearers. After them came Essie, who looked a lot like Esme. She and Carlson looked at each other, though everyone else was looking at them. I like when you can see the love on people's faces.

**Alice**

Corin showed me around to more of the family after the wedding. There were a lot of people. It was a small wedding, but there seemed to be a million people that she felt I had to be introduced to. It was tiring. By the time it was time to eat I almost needed two plates!

After that, the cutting of the cake, the first dance, and then an array of toasts and roasts the dancing commenced. I was glad because it meant I finally got to take off the heels we had to wear. Also, I just like to dance. I yanked Jasper out onto the dancefloor and we shook a tail feather. He told me about his crazy night with Carlisle and Carlson, and how he got his battle scars. I couldn't help but laugh. I'm glad to know Bella and I aren't the only ones who ended up babysitting.

When I looked around everybody was dancing. Bella was dancing cautiously with Edward, Carlisle and Esme were boogying with the best of them. Even Maurice and Martha were out on the dancefloor. I just hope she doesn't shake that baby loose.

At one point Jasper couldn't handle me anymore, so I let him sit down and I danced with Martha. While we were dancing I finished catching her up on my life. She seems to think my perils and mishaps are hilarious. I'm glad somebody does.

While we were dancing I couldn't help but look at her stomach, then back at Bella's. I mean, Martha is my big sister. She's nineteen, but she's mature to be nineteen. She's always been a grownup at heart. Bella is my best friend... I don't think I've ever had a pregnant friend before. Thinking about Bella's situation makes me nervous. I know I'm not the one who is pregnant but I get anxious for her whenever I think about it. I just don't want her to get stuck. We were supposed to get out. Me, her, and Rose are going to get out. Whether there's a baby on her hip or not we are not staying in fucking tiny ass, gossip- town Forks.

After a few songs Martha needed a break so Jasper stepped in again. It felt good to lean my head against his chest and listen to his heart beat. I won't be able to do that for a while, now that I know he's not coming home for the fourth of July like we planned. I clutched onto him, prepared to never let go and he did the same.

"Wanna hop in my luggage and come with me back to Texas," he asked.

"Yeah, just pack some pillows and potato chips and I'll be all set," I said.

He stopped moving and he stepped back from me, but he kept his hands on my shoulders. He looked into my eyes while running his fingertips down my arms, sending shivers to every inch of my body. His fingers then snaked between mine and he led me to his hotel room. The view at night really is nice.

I pressed my lips against his and we greedily attacked each other's mouths. I pressed my nose against his neck to smell him, while he nipped at my neck and my earlobe. Before we lay down he unzipped my dress. It melted off me, forming a puddle around my feet. He helped me step out of it and he put it on the desk to keep it from getting too wrinkled.

Once I lay back on the bed he went to work, scattering kisses across my body. Each one made my stomach clench with anticipation and excitement. I never wanted his hands or his lips to leave me, but he did briefly to get protection. He's always prepared.

He undressed while he was up and I watched him, taking a minute to really admire his body. His slight sixpack, his chiseled arms and the way his honey colored locks sparkle in this moonlight. I could feel myself getting wetter and when his hand touched my thigh it's like I was struck by lightening. His hands moved slowly and smoothly down my leg under his fingers were pinching the sides of my panties to pull them down.

I pulled him down on top of me, kissing him the entire time. I managed to only slightly arch my back and release a tiny moan when he entered me. We were an entanglement of limbs, and passion, and love. When he touched that place inside of me, that wonderful place, I found myself wrapping my legs around his waist and digging my nails into his back. He didn't seem to mind. It felt like I was going crazy and I loved it. Nevermind my hair that's getting messed up, nevermind my makeup that's being destroyed.

When we finally hit peak it was almost at the same time. For me it was like a wave of just everything good washing over me, causing my body to break out in a sweet convulsion that wouldn't stop until it'd run it's course. Afterwards, I wanted nothing more than to lay with Jasper all night, in the bed while we stare at the city below. I knew we had to get back to the party though. They'd miss us soon. So I got up, I got myself together and I reapplied my lipstick. He put his suit back on and tried again to manage his curls, though they're pretty much unruly.

On the elevator, on the way back down to the reception I couldn't stop smiling and neither could he. He inched over and grabbed my hand, locking our fingers. For the rest of the night we danced, and talked, and played like there was no tomorrow.


	20. Chapter 20

There's a lot of time jumping in this chapter. Just a head's up!

**Alice**

Fuck it. I'm never, ever having children. I'm going to have a hysterectomy and just adopt. Or I'll freeze my eggs and get a surrogate. I'm never having a baby. Not after what I've been witnessing for the last eighteen hours. Martha has had the baby, but it wasn't all easy, and breezy, and quick like in the movies. No, this was grueling and I wasn't even the one being torn apart and stretched from here to Disney World. No babies, not ever... not for me.

The craziest part is that as soon as it was over, and little Maggie was in her arms she seemed to forget the pain, blood, and poop. I'm an aunt, officially. I've posted pictures to every social media site. I've taken so many that the memory on my camera is filled up. The nurses thought the little gowns I made for her were darling. Some of them even requested my information once they found out I can sew. I talked to them in the hallway for a few minutes while Maurice and Martha had some quality bonding time with little Maggie.

After swapping information with the nurses I decided to get myself a few treats from the vending machine. A snickers bar, some BBQ potato chips, and a cold coke should do nicely. I ate them in the waiting room while I watched the court show that was playing on the muted television.

My phone buzzed. I took it out of my bra and looked at it. Since last night when Martha went into labor it's been like an extension of my arm. It was Alec.

_**Tell your sister I said congrats. Your niece is cute.**_

_**Thanks. How's home?**_

_**How is home usually? Boring as fuck... well it would be if I were there.**_

_**Oh, where are you?**_

_**In Nashville.**_

_**Oh, having a mini vacation?**_

_**No, I'm here on business.**_

_**Business, Alec you're seventeen. What business do you have?**_

_**Business that's none of yours ;)**_

_**Whatever. Thanks for the congrats. I'll tell Martha.**_

_**Okay. Oh, still having trouble with your man?**_

_**My man? No. Why?**_

_**Just asking. Trying to make sure you aren't about to throw yourself off a cliff.**_

_**A cliff?**_

_**You're just so wrapped around him.**_

_**I am not! He's my boyfriend I just love him. I can't help it.**_

_**Yeah, too much.**_

_**What the hell is that supposed to mean?!**_

He didn't respond. Well, shit. That was weird. Really weird. The worst part is that I don't know whether I should tell Jasper or not. I mean, I really don't think I should. He doesn't like Alec already and this would just set him off. I'd better keep it to myself. It wasn't that big a deal anyway. Besides, if Alec says anything else I'll just lay down the law and let him know how it is, and how it's gonna stay.

To take my mind off of the drama I went back to see Maggie and Martha. Maurice was holding her and Martha was drinking the little juice cup that the hospital provides. I can tell that Maggie has Maurice wrapped around her finger already. Just by the way he was cooing to her and mumbling promises.

"Isn't it sweet," asked Martha. "He loves her so much."

"It is. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks. What's with you?"

"Me? Nothing... just still in shock from watching your hoo ha bust open."

"Nice try but you were happy before."

"Alec said congrats."

"Alec? Well tell him I said thanks. Did he say something?"

"He asked if me and Jasper were still together and then he said I love him too much. What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that you better stay away from him and Jasper better pay attention when he gets back from Texas."

"Why?"

"Alice wake up, Alec has wanted you since you were kids."

"Not true."

"True," said Maurice. "Remember that time he cut that lock of your hair and you ran to Martha's classroom crying?"

"I'd forgotten about that."

"How he used to beg for half of your twinkie when he had one of his own," said Martha.

"Forgot about that too..."

"In the angel choir when your baby tooth went missing and you found out he had it," said Martha.

"During the town day festival when you got that pink and purple phoenix on your face and he got the same thing," said Maurice.

"Well I'd actually forgotten most of that, but since you wanna bring shit up I guess I can see a small pattern. I'm not telling Jasper. He's already jealous enough. I don't want him to get all paranoid."

I had to hold baby Maggie just to stop thinking about all of the madness. She's adorable and she has me and Martha's brown eyes with a single dark brown curl right in the middle of her head. I never wanted to let her go, but it was time for her feeding and Martha needed to hold her again to get in mommy- baby time. It's going to be so wonderful when my surrogate has my baby and I get to hold it for the first time.

**Jasper**

I'm not assertive enough...that's what it says in this evaluation. The party was a success. People turned out, they had fun, we got some valuable info, and I think we even got new investors. The only issue is that we had initially gone over budget and two weeks before the party Bobby and I had to make some major cutbacks. It was mostly all the stuff she wanted to buy. I knew the items were unnecessary and wouldn't even fit for this party, but I didn't say anything until I absolutely had to. I guess I deserve this. I'm not assertive enough.

"Son, I'm not gonna lie and say I'm happy about your evaluation. It could have been worse though. For the most part the party was good. You brought some fresh ideas to it and the guests responded well. We've been getting good feedback. However, that's not what bothers me."

"Okay."

"If this is gonna be yours one day, you gotta learn not to say yes just because you're glamoured by silky blonde hair, a pretty face, and double D's. Think with your brain and not your head."

"I was! What are you talking about?"

"I just want to prepared you. This was a big project. I had a another team the entire time planning the party just in case you failed."

"I didn't know that."

"That's because I didn't want you to know failure was an option. You're creative son, we just gotta work on your attitude. For the rest of the time you're here I think you should follow me around, take notes."

"Fine..."

"Good then. It'll be good to see more of your face."

"It'll be good to see you more too dad."

"Great. So... take the day off and we'll start fresh on Monday morning."

"Okay. Bye daddy."

I walked to the elevator and went to where me and Bobby's office was. Her internship is over and since we aren't working on the project anymore I don't need a space of my own. She was there cleaning out her desk.

"Hey you, get your head bitten off?"

"Nah, he told me I needed to be more assertive," I said.

"Well... why didn't you just tell me no?"

"I don't know."

"Oh. Wanna go get some dinner? I know a good burger place that's walking distance."

"You must mean Spanky's. I'm up for it, I just need to take this box to my car and I'll be ready."

"Yeah, I need to put this in my car too. I think I actually parked beside you."

"Alright."

The elevator was filled with the scent of her sickly sweet cotton candy perfume. She's the only person to be able to really pull it off. On every other girl I've ever smelled it on, it just makes me wonder if they feel sticky. Still though, it doesn't measure up to Alice's sugar cookie scent.

I popped the trunk on the car my father is letting me drive while I'm here and I put the box in. Bobby did the same with her car. After she did she looked up at me with a smile and then she kissed me, out of the blue. I jumped back like I'd been shocked. I fell against my car. All the while, Bobby had this shocked look on her face with her eyebrows raised. When I got my bearings again she started to laugh.

"You'd think you've never been touched before, with the way you jumped back."

"I have a girlfriend."

"I know... I can't believe I even tried that. You're seventeen and I'm nineteen. It's just that you seem older than seventeen and I guess... I don't know. I didn't exactly have a great relationship and so sometimes when you were talking to Alice, I'd pretend it was me you were talking to. I'm pathetic, and you're a minor!"

"Bobby you could get another guy, a good guy. I'm not that good a boyfriend anyway, trust me... I'm always apologizing for something."

"Well at least you do say you're sorry. You're a good kid and Alice is lucky to have you."

She kissed me again. This one was more tactful and slower and sweeter. When she was done she caressed my cheek and smiled at me, only this time it didn't reach her eyes.

"Let's take a raincheck on that burger, huh Jas?"

"Okay."

'Keep in touch, write me... if you're ever in Arkansas give me a ring, okay?"

"Okay. Bye."

She drove away and I stood there waving. This kiss I don't feel guilty about, so I don't know if I should tell Alice. It'd just make her worry about nothing. Maria was different... I was worried about that kiss with Maria, but I know this one won't come back to bite me in the butt. It was just a bittersweet goodbye.

**Alice**

"Now I want to hear from you soon, don't be a stranger. I'll see you soon," I told Maggie as I prepared to leave her. It's time for me to go back to Forks and it's a bittersweet moment. I don't want to leave Martha, and Maurice, and Maggie, but I've been here for going on three weeks, and I'm ready to get back to my life. So I kissed her and then Martha and I exchanged a tearful goodbye. She and the baby can't leave the house right now, and Maurice has to work so I'm taking a cab to the airport. I don't mind.

"Take care of yourself. Don't start changing for Jasper. Make this last year in high school really count for something," cried Martha.

"I will, I won't, and I will..."

"Good. Now get outta here before being all sad and weepy makes me start leaking."

"Okay."

Maurice told me goodbye with a crack about how short I was and I hit him in the arm, then I went out to the cab that was waiting.

**XXX**

When I got the the airport in Memphis. I was exhausted. I was so sick of the airplane food that I could have died. I just wanted whatever Esme had cooked. Even that casserole she makes with lima beans in it, that I hate.

I was shocked when I saw Rosalie and Emmett standing there instead of the Cullens. They were smiling, but they weren't completely happy smiles.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Dr. Cullen sent us to fetch you," said Emmett.

"Why? Where is everybody?"

"I cannot believe that you knew Bella was pregnant, and you kept it from me and from everybody else! How could you keep me out of hte best friend's circle that way? I had to hear it second hand when Dr. Cullen asked me to pick you up from the airport while they were lecturing Bella and Edward about it in the background!"

'Well I'm sorry! It wasn't my secret to tell! I knew for sure she'd let you in on it!"

"Oh she'll get hers but I felt like I needed to deal with you first, missy!"

"I'm sorry Rose. I really am."

"All is forgiven. I just hope they aren't giving them too much of a hard time."

"Me too. Bella already felt really bad and she was scared and ashamed."

"Well, I guess we won't know until we get there, huh?"

"We'll know how it went if we get there and there house is burned down, I guess," chuckled Emmett.

Rose and I both stared daggers at him. He straightened up. This was certainly no laughing matter.

**XXX**

When we got there everyone was sitting at the dinner table, Bella and Edward included. The only person truly eating was Nessie. Everyone else just sort of pushed the food around on their plates. They looked perfectly put together and perfectly disheveled at the same time. I propped my luggage against the wall and walked on in. Nessie sprang up from her chair and came and hugged me tightly, nearly knocking me down.

"Alice! I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too Nessie."

"Welcome home Alice," said Esme.

"Yes... welcome home, we're sorry we couldn't come to pick you up but there's a situation that needed dealing with. I'm sure you know all about it," said Carlisle.

"Yeah... I..."

"Let's not discuss it and get everyone upset again... you three pull up a chair. Alice I made meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

"My favorite."

"Great... after dinner, Bella... we'll go get your things," said Esme.

"Her things," asked Rosalie.

"She's going to be staying with us now," said Carlisle.

Suddenly Bella got up and shot passed me, out the front door. Rosalie and I followed after her. Edward did too, but we told him to give us a minute.

"Honey, what happened," asked Rose.

"My mom... she said she was so disappointed that she couldn't stand to have me in the house anymore but she had to keep me until September, so I had until then to find another place to stay. My dad wouldn't even talk to me, or look at me! He just looked so pale and shocked, like he wanted to die and it's all my fault! I hate myself! I hate my life. I've just ruined it for everybody. I wish I could just die."

"Don't say stuff like that," I yelled. "It's gonna be okay. It's a baby not terminal cancer or something..."

"Everybody hates me now. They do, they won't say it but they do."

"That's a lie," said Rosalie. "I don't hate you."

"Me either, we love you Bella."

"I love you Bella," said Edward softly from behind us. "I was in shock earlier. I didn't know what to say but, I'm gonna be there for you. For the baby. I won't leave you for a second."

"You say that now but what happens when you go off to college, then to medical school, and then to do your residency? You'll leave us in the dust."

"What'll happen is that you'll come with me! If we take one step at a time and really plan things out it will be fine. It's gonna be hard, but we'll both make it."

"We'll just hold you back."

"You won't! Dammit Bella... stop trying to push me away. You're not getting rid of me."

"I'm just so scared!"

"Me too..."

Rosalie and I stood back and gave Edward his time to give her a pep talk. It seemed to work. I have to admit that they've just always fit together. Now they're gonna be forced to fit together no matter what. Nothing glues two people together like a baby.

We decided to give Edward and Bella their time so we went back to the house. Emmett was in the front yard spinning Nessie around. She was having a ball. Rose stayed outside with them and I went inside, where Carlisle and Esme were hugging. This wasn't a sexy hug though, it was a sad one... a consoling one.

"Knock knock."

"Oh, Alice... Please don't spring anything like this on us," said Esme. "I don't think my heart can take it."

"Don't worry about me," I said. "After seeing Martha have her baby I'm thinking about having Carlisle just sign me up for a hysterectomy so I don't have to deal with stuff like that."

They both laughed, I could tell it was probably the first of the day. I helped Esme clear the table and clean up the kitchen. Then I went to put Nessie to bed while she vacuumed and had some wine. The others were gone to move Bella out of her home. I can't believe Renae kicked her out. She was always the cool mom, the most permissive mom. Who'd have thought she'd just be so cold?

"Bella's moving into the room beside mine, the guest room," said Nessie.

"I know."

"I hope everybody gets happy again... I don't like it being like this."

"Me either. I think it will get happy again. Everybody just needs to adjusted."

"Oh. Well... goodnight Alice."

"Night Nessie."

**XXX**

"Hello?"

"Jasper, what would you do if I told you I was pregnant?"

"You're pregnant... oh my gosh. I was... We're gonna figure this out. I'll get on a plane tonight."

"I'm not... I was just asking what you'd do if I told you I were."

"What did I just do?"

"I mean... would you wanna keep it? Would you try to force me to get an abortion? Would you throw money at me every month and leave me be?"

"I'd be there for you. I'd be there for my kid. I certainly wouldn't just throw money at it every month... where's all this coming from? Do you suspect that you are?"

"No, Bella is. She got kicked out when Renae found out. She's living with us now."

"What? No way! That's... crazy. Scary crazy."

"I know. I think we might need to stop having sex just to prevent this happening to us."

"Is that a joke?"

"Partially."

"Aren't you on the pill?"

"Partially..."

"Alice, what do you mean partially?"

"I mean, I forget to take it sometimes."

"Well don't forget, or else we'll be seeing Sparky sooner than expected."

"I'll try. I might just get the patch or something. Are you through packing?"

"Almost. Four days and I'll be back home."

"I'll be counting the minutes."

"I'll be counting the milliseconds. I'm gonna go to bed now. I have breakfast with my mama in the morning."

"Okay. Goodnight Jasper. Love you."

"Love you too."

I showered and got the airplane germs off of me. I changed into a t-shirt of Jasper's that I stole and a pair of his boxers, which I also stole. I washed my hair too. I know it'll be frizzy when I wake but I don't care. I wrapped it in my turban twist and walked out of the bathroom, only to see Bella already in her sleeping clothes, laying on my bed. Rosalie was on my computer.

"I didn't know I had company."

"Yup, you do," said Rosalie. "Esme said you'd have enough quilts to make me a pallet."

"I guess I can scratch something up. What about you, what's your excuse," I asked Bella.

"I don't wanna sleep alone."

"Edward is right next door."

"Nice try but that's house rule number one... no more spending the night with Edward."

"Well, I guess y'all can stay."

Bella snuggled under my covers, looking more depressed than ever. Rosalie sat up, creating Bella a baby registry on Babiesrus. I ended up falling asleep watching Rosalie sift through all the breast pumps they had to offer. I guess I'll know which one she chose when I look at the registry.

**XXX**

This whole baby situation has left the Cullen household completely combatty and out of order. For instance, when I went to talk to Carlisle about getting switched from the pill to the patch he made me give blood for a pregnancy test! Esme has been giving me little sex ed lectures and now there are twice as many condoms under my bathroom sink! Edward has applied for a job as McDonalds, and he got it. That could potentially be fun for me though, so I'm not complaining. Bella, well, she just cries all the time. I went to check on her at work and she was shrunk down in a corner reading "What to Expect When you're Expecting" crying her eyes out! Ms. Mary then caught on and told Bella she'd always have a job there. However, the whole town now knows. The only person acting normal is Nessie, if you call getting into an argument with Jacob normal. The bad part is that he argued back... the dog argued back.

I needed to get out of the house and be alone for a while, so I hopped into my car and headed to The Hut. I need pie, or ice cream, or both and I know Tanya will have what I need. As soon as I walked in the familiar smoky, sweet barbecue smell hit me in the face. I had a seat, my usual, and Heidi came and sat down with me, even though she was supposed to be taking my order.

"Girl... is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"That Bella's pregnant and living with y'all?"

"Yes... it is."

"Shit. I guess the Cullens are planning on making the gossip mill every July, huh?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well last year everybody found out Dr. Cullen was your daddy, this year Bella's pregnant by Edward..."

"Hopefully nothing else will happen."

"Well in any case, what can I get ya?"

"A coconut brownie with the biggest scoops of ice cream you can give me, and a glass of water."

"Coming right up. Oh, and Tanya talked to your man, he's leaving tonight!"

"I know. He told me."

"You don't seem happy."

"I am, I'm just a little worn out."

"I'll bet... I'll get that right out. Oh and my sister's dress looked so pretty on her! Alice, you're a miracle worker with those fingers."

"I'm glad she liked it. You only get hitched once... well, you only get married for the first time once."

"I'll get your sweets."

"Thanks Heidi."

When Heidi left my table, Tanya came over. It's not fair for somebody to be able to make jeans and a t-shirt look so damn... sexy. Not that I'm into Tanya or anything, but I can't deny the fact that I envy her body, and her perfect hair that's never frizzy. Then again, I bet she doesn't sleep with hers wet.

"Girl, please tell me you, and Rosalie, and Bella aren't in some kinda pregnancy pact."

"We aren't. Why?"

"Just asking. I watched that movie last night and when I heard about Bella's situation it danced across my head. How's your family holdin up?"

"Okay, I guess. Carlisle made me take a pregnancy test!"

"He's just worried. Please, just you and Jasper be careful, because..."

"You're too young and sexy to be an aunt. I know."

"Good. Just making sure you knew."

Tanya left me to go back to bossing people around. I got my brownie and ice cream and I took a few minutes to just exhale and make some new sketches. It was pleasant.


	21. Chapter 21

**Alice**

Jasper has been back in town for about two weeks. We only have a couple days left in summer though, until school starts back. It's the last Saturday night of summer. It's my last year in high school. My last year in Forks. I'm so nervous that I could spit.

Tonight, Jasper and I are supposed to be watching a movie while we babysit Nessie. Bella and Edward have a date. Carlisle and Esme are in Memphis having some couple time. So, it's up to us to watch her. What's the worst that could happen? Really?

Jasper is supposed to be on his way over, but if I know him right he probably hasn't even left the house yet. I forgot to get popcorn, so I decided to call and tell him to bring us some.

"Hello?"

"Hey, can you drop by the store on your way over and get some popcorn?"

"You're breaking me, woman."

"Just for that... get regular and the kind that has the little caramel packs to melt and drizzle on. Please?"

"Alright, I'll get it. See you in a few."

"Okay. Thanks."

Nessie is preparing for this epic movie night by getting her bath and then choosing a few movies from her extensive collection. it could take a while because she can be a little indecisive, as all children are.

**Jasper**

Alice is such a spoiled brat. I don't mind though. I do like this kind of popcorn. The only problem with the caramel is how fucking stubborn it is. Half of it ends up sticking to the pan.

When I was headed out to the parking lot I noticed that I had a flat tire. I looked at it and saw a huge nail sticking out of it! Who in the hell just leaves stuff like that laying around? I started preparing to change it when a red Camaro pulled up. It was a beaut, I can only say that much. Too bad it's Alec's car.

"Hey Jasper."

"Hey Alec."

"Flat tire?"

"Yeah, but I got it."

"I'll help. Four hands are better than two. So, how was your summer?"

"It was good..."

"That's good. You and Alice still on the up and up?"

"Um... yes. Why would you ask that?"

"Well, it's just that when I caught her crying that day and she asked me for advice about you, I figured you two would be toast pretty soon."

"She talked to you about us?"

"I mean, she used a hypothetical situation, but yeah. She thought you were cheating... she was worried. Wanted another guy's opinion."

"You're lying."

"Ask her for yourself."

"Fine... I will."

"You take her for granted Jasper, but I'm gonna take her away from you. You've been warned."

"I'd like to see you try, piece of shit. I won't let Alice go!"

"Excellent, I like a good fight. I think you do have this under control."

He walked away and I was damn tempted to hit him in the skull with the tire iron I was gripping. Changing a tire was hard, especially when I was seeing red. I managed though. I tried to calm myself down while I was driving. The last thing I needed to do was go to Alice's and just blow up, but I can't help it.

Okay, so I didn't call. It wasn't that big a deal! I just, it pisses me off that she doesn't trust me enough to know that I'm not cheating on her every time I'm not texting her. Given, Bobby was in the background but that shouldn't have mattered. She should have trusted me. She knows how I feel about him, hypothetical or not. He's not stupid, he knew... now the fucking snake has found a crack to slither into.

_I put my books into the locker and the next thing I knew I was flying back into them. This guy came out of nowhere, connecting his fist with my face. Pretty soon we were both hitting each other and a crowd formed. Among the spectators was my girlfriend, Maria, feigning concern. Between hits he would say "stay away from Maria, she's mine..." What he didn't know what that she wasn't his, she was mine. So why was I fighting another guy for her?_

_After the teachers separated us and I ended up with a suspension, and when I went to get my books. Maria was waiting by my locker with innocent doe eyes._

_"Jasper, I'm so sorry."_

_"Sorry for what? Because I got suspended. Because you cheated on me? What!_

_"All of it, baby... I just... I was drunk and he took advantage of me. Now he thinks we're together."_

_"Is that who sent you the necklace?"_

_"Yes... Look Jasper. I'm sorry baby. I won't ever let this happen again. It's all my fault! I'd just kill myself if you never forgave me," she said with a sob that made her mascara run. I've never seen her like this before. I've never seen her so vulnerable._

_"I will forgive you, we just have to work on it."_

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too._

**Alice**

Jasper knocked on the door and I opened. Nessie chose between the Little Mermaid, Brave, Mulan, and Peter Pan. I'm down.

"Hey you..."

"Can I talk to you outside for a second," he asked coolly. He was red in the face.

"Ok... Hey Nessie, I'll be on the porch for a minute."

"Okay."

I went out with Jasper and he was pacing a little, then he just stopped.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Do you wanna fucking tell me why I just saw Alec at the grocery store and he gloated to me how you told him our fucking business?"

"I didn't, I just asked for advice... I know better than that now."

"You know better than now? You should have fucking known better then, Alice! I can't believe you'd be so stupid!"

"Don't say that to me! I'm sorry! I was upset a..."

"Who doesn't fucking get upset? Fuck, how'd you like it if I went to one of these girls you're so damn jealous of, for some advice? You'd be all over me!"

"Look, I fucked up but it's over and done Jasper."

"Well, actually it's not because he approached me about it tonight! What else aren't you telling me Alice?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, since apparently you're good at keeping secrets and covering your tracks... what else have to been up to?"

"Are you accusing me of cheating on you?"

"Whatever... look... Leave me alone Alice."

"Where are you going?"

"Just give me some space! I need some time..."

I couldn't say anything. I don't think he's ever yelled at me that way before. It's not that though, that really hurts me. It's the fact that he's pushing me away. I get it, I did fuck up. He's acting like he's never fucked up with me before. I mean, I might ride away in trucks or storm out of restaurants, but I'm always willing to stop running and listen. He's just shutting me out completely. It's not fair! The first time, the first time I do something wrong and he's acting like I'm pregnant by another man or something.

I wiped my tears and went inside where Nessie was a few minutes into Peter Pan. I set my eyes towards the screen, but I wasn't really watching. I just sat there in sort of a trance, trying to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks. Nessie was too busy eating popcorn and gummy bears to notice, thank goodness for that. Jacob knew something was wrong, though. He came and put his head in my lap with a whimper.

After a few hours Edward and Bella came home. Nessie was already knocked out in the floor.

"Hey, what's the matter with you," asked Bella.

"Yeah. You look crazy," said Edward.

"Jasper is mad at me..."

"Well, why," asked Bella.

"Because, back when I thought he might have been seeing another girl, that day that I was spazzing out, crying and being stupid... I asked Alec for advice and he threw it in Jasper's face when they saw each other at the grocery store."

"Okay, that wasn't the best thing to do, but it's not that big a deal. The issue was resolved."

"It was... I thought it was and I know Alec saying that should have pissed Jasper off. I just didn't think he'd turn on me the way he did. He was so mean to me."

I sat with them for a few minutes and they watched the rest of the movie with me. Then I tucked Nessie into bed and I went and curled up on my bed.

**Jasper**

I didn't mean to say all of that! Why did I say all of that shit. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to be so mean and so loud, and I didn't mean to accuse her of cheating. I don't know what came over me I just let my mind go crazy... I've never seen her look like that before. We've had fights, we've had yelling matches too, but this was worse. I was worse. I can't even call her. I feel like shit. Absolute shit. I do have my secrets too. Shit... she hates me now. I don't know what I'd do if she didn't love me. I want to apologize and talk but sorry isn't enough. I know it's not enough. I don't have anything to say that would excuse me. I hate myself right now.

**Alice**

The scissors snipped away and when I was done, my hair was in a puddle around me. My hair was short, I had bangs. It was choppy... what did I do? I don't know what I did. I had a moment and I snapped. I've been going crazy slowly since the other night. Jasper hasn't contacted me and he's not taking my calls. Why am I acting so crazy? It doesn't matter now. I have to deal with what I've just done.

I threw some curls into it, and it wasn't that bad. Well, it was as good as it was gonna get. I put on some lipstick, got dressed, and went downstairs where everyone was eating breakfast. When I walked into the kitchen Carlisle nearly spit out his juice and Esme let out a little scream.

"Alice, are you okay," asked Bella.

"I don't know."

"Honey... what happened," asked Esme.

"I just... I don't know why I did it. I just did."

"Well, I like it. Her hair is like Peter Pan's hair," said Nessie.

"Yeah, you know what? I like it too," said Carlisle. "It suits you."

"You look evil with your hair that short," said Edward.

I heard Bella and Esme kick Edward under the table. He didn't say anything else. Everybody else just smiled at me, while trying not to stare.I knew they were just trying to make me feel better. I appreciated it, but I didn't necessarily want it. I don't know what I want. I left for school and Carlisle was so distracted that he didn't even make me stay to eat breakfast.

**XXX**

I started to the cafeteria to sit until school started. When I was walking I happened to see Alec coming in through another entrance. I decided to give him a piece of my mind.

"Hey! Hey you son of a bitch," I barked.

"Alice... what happened to you?"

"Why would you say that to him? You like me... I get it. That doesn't give you the fucking right to go around ruining people's relationships! I thought at the very least you could be my friend, now I know you were never even that."

"Wait... lover boy broke up with you?"

"No... he didn't. Look, just stay away... stay away from us both Alec. I'm warning you."

"I hear your warning and I'm going to ignore it. I've had it bad for you for a long time Alice and seeing you with Jasper was just the kick in the ass I needed to try and win you over. So, whatever I need to do I'm gonna fucking do it."

"Never."

"We'll see."

**XXX**

If being a fashion designer doesn't work out I guess I could be a hair stylist. People have been saying how good my haircut looks. Even Jessica, and it wasn't a back handed compliment either. While my self esteem should be boosted by a million, it's steadily depleting. I still feel like shit. Jasper's ignoring me. We take English together and he chose another girl for his partner. Then in art he sat as far as he could away from me. During lunch he was nowhere to be found. I wish he'd just get it over with already. If he's gonna dump me, he should just dump me.

By the end of the day I felt like I was starting to go emotionally bankrupt. I just wanted to go to my room, close the blinds, and hide away from everything and everybody. What I felt wasn't comparable to when my parents died. That was a different sort of pain. This felt different because I could have avoided this... maybe it's all my fault.

I decided not to wait on my friends after school. I knew I'd only bring them down. So, I started walking to my car. While I rummaged for my keys in my bag I heard heavy footsteps approaching me from the side.

"Can we talk," asked Jasper.

I nodded because speaking felt like it'd take too much effort. So, I got into my car and I trailed him until we got to the lake. It's hot out today, but there's shade so it won't be that unbearable.

When we got there we sat on a log. For a good while it was completely silent with the exception of him clearing his throat every few minutes.

**Jasper**

I still don't know what to say. I've got her here, and I still don't know what to say. I know I can't keep ignoring her though. Well, not ignoring her, but avoiding the conversation. Only because I know sorry won't be enough and I don't know what to say that's better than sorry. Sometimes I don't make the best decisions. Sometimes I can be a hypocrite.

"Look... if you're gonna break up with me, just do it. It's not fair to string me along," she said with a sob.

"I don't wanna break up."

"Then why am I here?"

"I'm trying to apologize but I don't know what to say."

"That you're sorry!"

"I am... I'm sorry. I know I've said that a million times and I'm sorry... dammit, said it again. At first I was mad at you, I won't lie. Then I was mad at Alec. Then I realized that I was living in the past and being a hypocrite."

There was a lump in my throat the size of Texas. I tried swallowing it, but it wouldn't go down. So, I decided to take a deep breath, exhale, and finish saying what I needed to say. Alice needed to hear about how selfish I am. She needs to know what she's getting herself into.

"You don't need to be with me Alice. We should break up, but I can't let that happen. I just can't and I'm sorry, but I can't break up with you. I can't set you free because I'm selfish. I know I'm gonna hurt you some more and I don't care, I want you anyway because I love you and because you make me happy..."

"I don't know what to say," she said.

"You don't have to say anything... not right now. Forgive me?"

"Well not yet! You made me feel like shit! You hurt my feelings and it wasn't even a big deal! I'm getting tired of having to pick up the check for Maria!"

"What?"

"That's what this is about. As soon as you said you were living in the past I knew... I'm so sick of her! I'm so fucking sick of her! Every Time we have a fight, anytime things go wrong, she weasels her way in either with your trust issues, or with mine. I want her out of this relationship!"

"Okay!"

"And I want you to stop apologizing so much! Just... stop doing stuff like this! You accused me of cheating!"

"You accused me of cheating!"

"Because you sort of have cheated before, Jasper... with your heart at least."

"What about Alec?"

"What about it? I dealt with it today! If you'd given me the benefit of a doubt you would have known that I'd get him straight. Instead you doubted me and called me stupid, like I wasn't capable of defending you or myself! So I will forgive you, but it's not gonna be right now."

"That's fair..."

I understood where she was coming from, and I respected it. Our relationship needs work. A lot more than I thought. It's gonna be hard but I wanna fix it. I just... I'm too selfish to watch her walk away from me. I'm too selfish to let her be happy with anybody but me. If I could, I'd put her in a box so that I could keep her all to myself.

"I like your hair," I said.

"Shut up... no you don't," she said with a slight smile.

"I do... you look like uh, Peter Pan."

"Do you and Nessie think that's a compliment?"

"Well I thought it was. Peter Pan is cool."

"He's a boy. Are you saying I look like a boy," she asked.

More hot water I'm getting myself into.

"No... the haircut is Peter Pan-esque, but the style and flair you bring is all Alice. I really do like it. I'll even get my hair cut if it makes you feel better."

"It would."

"Well, consider it done. How long am I gonna be in the doghouse?"

"You're not... we're just under construction."

"I like the way that sounds."

**Alice**

So we aren't broken up, we aren't back in our perfect bubble anymore either. Nope, it's been popped, I'm bald, and I let out emotions I didn't even know were there. I know we have a lot of work to do and I'm dreading it, but I want us to work. I need us to work. Even though I wanted him to hurry up and dump me, I knew I was going to be devastated if he did. Maybe I do love him too much. Should I? It's dumb to think we'll last forever, but I want to dream a little while longer. I want to forget that in a year we'll be separating whether we like it or not. Even if another person doesn't come between us, inevitably distance will...


	22. Chapter 22

**Alice**

It's homecoming week and everybody is wild. The big game is tomorrow night, the dance is the night after that, and the pep rally is tomorrow during the last period of school. Everybody's been dressing crazy all week trying to earn the prize for most school spirit and the hallways look like somebody threw up mustard and blue ink everywhere. Even the elementary school is excited about homecoming. It's pretty much one of the town's big events, since it is a football town.

Rosalie and Jasper have been teaching the little kids our fight song, and helping them make noise makers for the big game. Bella and Edward have been taking the ballots all week for homecoming king and queen, and selling tickets for the dance and the game. As for me, I have to decorate the gym. I won't say that I hate having that responsibility. I'm glad I get to make everything the way I want to. It's just who else is on the committee with me that makes this experience less than wonderful. First off there are Victoria and Jane, which I can handle. I like working with them both. However, Alec... not so much. I went to Principal Jones several times to complain but she won't move him. So, I'm stuck with him.

I have to admit though, that his idea to sit blue columns in the four corners of the room was a good one, because I'd wanted to drape gold and blue tulle above everyone, but the gym's ceiling is too high for that. His idea worked perfectly. It also helped to have him here to climb that giant ladder and hang the strings of paper lanterns from the little wires coming down from the ceiling. I'm too chicken to climb that high.

Victoria and Jane were supposed to be getting enough balloons to lightly dust the floor, so they're gone to get more. It's just me and Alec in here.

"Now that we've mostly finished, do you think you'll talk to me," he asked.

"Nope. You tried to ruin my relationship."

"I did. I'm not right now, though."

"Oh, another girl?"

"No. A bought of patience."

"Well... whatever."

Before I knew what was happening, before I could stop it, his lips attacked mine. I can't say that it wasn't pleasant. His breath was minty. He planned it, and he smelled good, but I had to break away. I pushed him and then I punched him in the nose. I didn't hear it crack, but I did hurt my hand. I ran out of the gym clutching my hand while he just stood there wiping blood from his nose with a knowing smile. He might be the only person I truly hate.

I went to my car, crunk up, and put a tiny crack for air, then I reached into my glove compartment and got some cigarettes. I don't smoke often, but this is a desperate time. It was hard to even steady my lighter because my hand was shaking. I hate myself right now. I should have seen that coming. I shouldn't have enjoyed it for a millisecond! Ugh, what's wrong with me? One thing's for sure. I can't give Alec the opportunity to tell Jasper this. I'm gonna tell him myself, tonight when we meet for dinner. I need advice.

**XXX**

"Shit. Hmmm... Jasper will probably go off the rails, but you've gotta tell him sweetie," said Esme.

"I know. I just... things since our big fight have been going well. This would just ruin everything."

"Or not. I mean the other time you two got into it because you withheld information. This wasn't your fault."

"You're right. Esme?"

"Hm?"

"What if, for a second, I kind of liked it?"

"You're in a relationship, not dead. I mean Alec is cute."

"Esme!"

"What? He is. Look, tell Jasper, you two move past it and try to enjoy your last year in high school."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Now go to your father's office. That hand is started to swell."

"Okay."

**XXX**

"So let me get this right... Alec kissed you, so you punched him, you don't think you broke his nose, but you apparently fractured your hand?"

"I guess," I said.

Carlisle laughed. It wasn't funny but he laughed, he was even red in the face. He's not supposed to laugh, though. He's my dad, he's supposed to get a shotgun and go... I don't know, shoot Alec in the foot or something. Not laugh! After he got it all out he patched my hand up and sent me on my way.

"Take some aspirin for the pain. Oh, and please quit smoking."

"What? Carlisle, I don't smoke."

"I can smell it on you. I don't wanna have to rush you to the ER because you have a blood clot. You promised when you switched to the patch that you'd quit."

"I have. I just got a little stressed and needed a little puff to get me through."

"Ditch the cancer sticks or you're grounded."

"Okay... fine."

I walked out of the Dr's office to find Jasper's range rover parked beside my pink bug. He was standing beside my car.

"What happened to your hand?"

"I fractured it punching Alec's face after he kissed me."

"I'm gonna kill him."

"Jasper, please. I'm tired from decorating the gym and doing all my homework at lunch. Can you just take me somewhere to eat and then hold me?"

"I can. I'll kick Alec's ass tomorrow."

**Jasper**

Today might as well have been a day to just come to school and not do anything. Students were everywhere. Classrooms were filled with screaming and talking. Everyone was anticipating tonight's big game. The coach from Texas A&M is coming to see Emmett play. It's obvious that they want him, I just hope he chooses to go there. I mean, he's had other offers. It would be awesome to have Emmett at the same school as me. If Edward wasn't tied down with Bella and the baby, he could have come too. Truth be told, I'm going to miss them both too, when this is over. They're really the first real friends I've ever had. I'm scared that I'll never make real friends again.

I followed the stream of students to the gym, where the pep rally was being held. Alice had saved me a seat and a pom pom. The kids from the elementary school were all in their section, shaking their noisemakers and singing the fight song with everyone else. Well, most of the kids were down in the section for elementary schoolers. Nessie and Seth had somehow weaseled their way up to where we were and were sitting beside Alice. Edward and Bella were sitting beside them, and Rosalie was dancing around in a panther outfit. She's not the official mascot, but the usual one is out sick so she's had to stand in.

The cheerleaders got everyone riled up with their little chants, their little cheers, and their little skirts. I'm sure the acrobatics helped as well. The band got everybody pumped as well and by the time the football team came out, everybody in the bleachers was about ready to explode. Everybody went crazy for them, especially Emmett and Big Ron. He kicked my ass, but he can play some fucking football.

After a pep talk from Coach McCarty and the introduction of the newest members of the team, the pep rally was over and everybody left to go and get ready to come back in about four hours. That's when shit would get crazy.

**XXX**

The entire town has football fever. Literally, it's like the entire town has come to this football game. Even Tanya is here! It's chilly out tonight so Alice has brought cocoa for her and Bella in a thermostat. Everybody is watching in anticipation. The game is close, this team is Forks' only real rival, so it could go either way, but Emmett is kicking ass on that field. We are in the lead. The coach for Texas A&M is right behind us. He also happens to have been one of my father's old teammates and one of his current drinking and golfing buddies.

"Jasper Whitlock, is that you?"

"Yes sir Mr. Barnes... it's me."

"Well shit, what are you doing all the way down here?"

"Staying with my sister, Tanya, until graduation."

"How's your daddy?"

"He's doing good."

"Why aren't you on that field? Me and your daddy used to have a ball playing."

"The football gene skipped me, I guess."

"How's your arm? We hold tryouts in spring. I know your daddy would be proud to have your picture beside his, and your grandfather's."

"Um... it's decent, I guess."

"I'll give your daddy the information. I wanna see you at those tryouts."

"Yes sir."

So now, I guess I'm going to be a football player. Alice gave me a tiny smile and grabbed my hand.

"If you did play, I'd be your cheerleader," she whispered.

Maybe trying out won't be such a bad idea. My daddy would be proud. I haven't played since freshman year, but I guess the rules of the game haven't changed. I'll think about it.

Emmett was running for a touchdown and the entire stadium got quiet. There were a couple of guys trying to grab onto him but Emmett kept going, dragging them along. They couldn't stop him. When he crossed over into the endzone and laid the ball down everybody erupted.

The rest of the game continued to be filled with these moments where it should have been impossible for a touchdown to be made, but there managed to be one made anyway. Forks ended up winning and beating their own records. After the game, I shook Mr. Barnes hand and promised again to come to spring try-outs. He left. As for the rest of us, the celebration was just beginning. Well, Emmett and Rose's celebration was anyway. Our school mascot was wrapped around the star football player like a vine, clinging to him to dear life. I want Alice to do that to me.

**Alice**

It was fun, sitting around the bonfire roasting weenies. Everybody was still ecstatic about the game. I can't lie, I'm excited too. I'm even more excited about the dance tomorrow night! After Victoria and Jane delivered the balloons today, Alec and I awkwardly and sullenly, constructed a balloon archway with tulle and sparkles for the pictures, while Victoria and Jane scattered them across the room, avoiding only the dancefloor. It was beautiful. Especially with the twinkle lights that'd been strategically put everywhere. It's going to be like a night under the stars.

Bella and Edward took a walk, Rosalie and Emmett went to... I don't even wanna know what they went to do. It was just me and Jasper left at the campfire after a minute.

"No curfew tonight," I muttered.

"I heard Dr. Cullen tell you. What do you think we should do with all this free time?"

**XXX**

Jasper pushed into me one last time and I melted in his car, like ice cream in the summer. My essence was running down my thighs and making a mess everywhere. He didn't seem to mind though, he seemed thrilled that my cum was everywhere. When we had been making out in the front seat, I was so excited that I leaked onto his seats. He smiled about it, if he hadn't, I would have been embarrassed. I'm just wetter than I've ever been tonight for some reason.

When I got curious and I started watching porn, I saw some videos about squirting and I'm pretty fucking sure that happened tonight! It might even happen again. Jasper is deep inside me, grinding his hips slowly and deliberately while he looks me in the face. I could feel him start to tense and twitch, I was right along with him as he did and pretty soon I was cumming again, and so was he, but something was different. I could feel him more than ever. It was weird.

After lying there for a few minutes to stop twitching to get our breath back, he pulled out of me, causing me to quiver at the feeling. That's when we both noticed it. A huge, gaping hole in the condom! I looked down and his cum was flowing out of me. What the actual fuck is going on here?

"Oh my goodness!"

"You're on the patch, don't worry about it."

"I know, but... but... we had unprotected sex! I'm gonna end up pregnant!"

"You're overreacting Alice. Relax. You won't get pregnant."

"I can feel your sperm fertilizing my egg!"

He had the nerve to laugh at me. I started getting dressed and he tried to talk me down. The damage was already done, though. How can he not be worried about this right now? Our condom broke! We're gonna end up teen parents. I'm so scared that I could piss my shorts right now.

It was a quiet ride home. When we got there, he parked and walked me to the door like always. He kissed me on the cheek and lifted my head, forcing me to look at him.

"It's gonna be okay. You're not gonna get pregnant, but if you did it'd still be okay. Okay?"

I nodded, we hugged good night and then he drove away. It's a little past one, so everyone in the house is probably sleeping. I needed to talk to someone about this, though. So, I took a shower and put on some Pj's before going across the hall to Bella's room where she was still awake and staring at her round, rapidly expanding belly in the full-length mirror.

"Alice, where'd you and Jas disappear to?"

"I think I might be pregnant, that's where we went!"

"What? Why? How?"

"The condom broke tonight! A bunch of sperm came out of me when I peed and showered! I know one of those little fuckers is getting me into trouble."

Bella laughed.

' "First of all, you're on the patch. Second, just don't worry about it. I can almost guarantee that you're not pregnant. Third, if you are then our kids are going to be best friends. Sleep with me? It's lonely sleeping alone. I miss sleeping beside Edward."

"So, what are you two going to do about college?"

"Wherever we go, we'll get an apartment. He wants to marry me Alice. I'm so scared."

"Why?"

"What if I mess it up. I just... I still feel terrible. Not only about him, but about everything. My mom and dad are divorcing. That's my fault. I'm taking up space in the Cullens' house. I feel this little boy moving inside of me and I have no idea what I'm gonna say to him, or how I'm gonna keep him alive once he leaves my body. Alice, what if I can't do this?"

"Bella, you're like overly qualified to be a mom. You've read all the books about it. You're loving. You're level headed and calm. You'll be a great mom and it's only natural for Edward to want to marry you. Seriously, you two have been dating since Mrs. Gerandy's."

"We've never even broken up," she said with a chuckle. "Though it's not because you didn't try to break us up. You hated Edward."

"He was hateable. He put earthworms down the back of my shirt! Anyway, when did he tell you he wanted to marry you," I asked.

"He didn't. He told Esme and Carlisle. I was eavesdropping. They think it's a great idea, they just want him to be sure. He is, he's so sure and that's what makes me nervous... I'm just me, and he's him."

"Tell me about it, you really relaxed your standards. You could've done much better if you ask me."

"Alice!"

"What? Look. Don't start getting all self conscious about it. If you're not ready then just tell him. I'm sure he'll wait for you."

"Maybe."

Bella and I tucked ourselves into her bed and went to sleep. Well, we tried but we couldn't stop talking and reminiscing. I kept reassuring her that she'd be a great mom, and she kept trying to convince me that I couldn't feel Jasper's sperm swimming in my vagina.

**XXX**

"I doubt that you're pregnant," said Martha through the computer screen.

"Well, hopefully I'm not. If I am, I just hope she comes out as cute as Maggie poo."

"She's cute, but she's a handful."

Martha had Maggie sitting up. She was looking at my face and when I smiled at her she smiled back. She has the biggest, chubbiest cheeks now and her hair is black, like ours. It's starting to thicken up. Thanksgiving is a little over a month away and I can't wait to see them both. Maggie, and Martha.

' "So you think I shouldn't worry?"

"I think you shouldn't worry. At least not about that. now about Alec, that's a whole other ballgame."

"Ugh. I don't want Jasper getting into trouble over me. That seems stupid, but he gets so riled up everytime he sees my hand in this brace. Why does it seem like my life chose now to get interesting?"

"That's always how it seems when boys are involved. Me and Maggie poo have to go. I'm dropping her off at the sitter's, so I can go to work. I love you, Alley cat," said Martha.

"Love you too. Love you both. Bye."

I waved and then the conversation ended. I plopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The dance is in three hours and I have to be there an hour early, so I decided to start getting ready.

**Jasper**

I wiped blood from my nose as Emmett and Edward pulled Alec and I apart. He hits harder than I thought he would, but that's no matter. I got my revenge, well, I got Alice's revenge. Nobody kisses my girlfriend! He didn't seem phased by our fight. Nobody was even looking at him like he was crazy. I guess because I kind of attacked him. I couldn't help it. I just saw him, pictured him kissing Alice, and I charged. We had a good tussle before they broke it up. Now I'm standing here feeling like a satisfied jackass.

"I know you're pissed," said Emmett, "but don't be selfish! Alice worked hard on this."

"I know, I know... I just..."

"Pull your shit together!"

"I will."

I sat down on the bleachers to try and compose myself. Edward came with me.

"I'm so fucking crazy right now. I'd just do anything to keep her," I said.

"Dude, it's gonna be fine."

"No, it's not. I keep getting more and more desperate, Edward."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm despicable..."

"Jasper... what'd you do?"

"I sabotaged my condom. I acted like I didn't know it would break."

"Jasper! What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not see what I'm going through?"

"Yes, I do... It doesn't look so bad to me! Anyway... it didn't take. I'd forgotten about her patch until I saw it last night when we were together."

"You have lost it! You are getting desperate, to try and trap her with a baby. Jasper, that's really kinda mean."

"I know... when I saw how she freaked out once she found out the condom broke I kind of snapped out of it, and I threw the sabotaged ones away."

"Good. Look, dude... I don't think Alice is going anywhere, but even if she was, a baby wouldn't make her stay. You do know that, don't you?"

"I should."

Alice, Rosalie, and Bella walked through the door. Alice was wearing a marigold colored dress that stopped above the knee. It had pockets and she wore it with a black sweater, the damned black hand brace, and black heels. She looked beautiful, aside from the brace. I got up and grabbed the flowers I'd gotten for her. Sunflowers.

"Hey Ja... what the hell happened to your face?"

"Nothing, Mary Alice, nothing."

"Jasper, you fought Alec, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did... I'm not sorry either. Okay, I am sorry for upsetting you, but I'm not sorry about fighting him. I got you flowers," I said, handing them to her slowly as a peace offering.

"They're beautiful. Thanks Jas. I have to go greet people, but I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay."

**Alice**

Well, the dance seems successful. People are out on the floor. Idiot jocks are using the helium in the balloons to talk like chipmunks, and again, Jessica Stanley has paid me an honest compliment. I'm starting to think she's fallen and bumped her head, but whatever. I won't complain.

Once everything was underway the chaperones took over and I got to spend some quality time with Jasper, who had dried blood on his shirt. I don't condone him fighting but a tiny piece of me feels flattered that he did. I'm certainly nothing to fight over.

As we danced I put my nose to the crook of his neck to smell him better. I couldn't keep it there long though, because he said it tickled. So, every few minutes I did it just to mess with him. It's the perfect night. I have to give it to Alec, his ideas were beautiful. Especially with all the lights turned on and everybody here. I haven't seen him but twice tonight. He had blood on his shirt too. He nodded and so did I, right before I went to find Jasper again. Like I said before... why did my life wait to get so interesting?

**XXX**

"And the winner for homecoming king and queen are... Emmett McCarty and Rosalie Hale!"

Rosalie and Emmett knew they were going to win. Edward slipped and told them once they tallied up the ballots. Rosalie was a ball of excitement and Emmett was cool as a cucumber. When their names were called they went up to the makeshift stage we'd made. They were crowned and then, they danced. I made sure to get plenty of pictures. It's hard to believe that we only have two more dances like this left. Basketball homecoming... and prom. I couldn't help but wonder how time had passed without me realizing, and how we'd arrived at the end of what seemed like a very long road, so quickly.

Whether we like it or not things are going to change. Some of the people who I see everyday in the hallway, I'll never see again once we throw those caps in the air. My friends and I might be separated. The clique that we'd formed since elementary school... Me, Rose, Emmett, Bella, and Edward... we'll all be separated. I don't even want to think about being separated from Jasper, but I know it's gonna happen and I hate it. I just find myself wanting more and more to shrink him until he's small enough to fit into a locket. Then I could take him everywhere I went. I'd never have to miss a moment of his life and he'd never have to miss a moment of mine. We could be together forever. However, that would be selfish of me... to trap him just because I want him and need him. We both, we all, have to grow and grow up. Even if that does mean growing apart.

"What are you thinking about," asked Jasper.

"How'd you know I was thinking? I could have just been having a seizure looking at all these lights."

"Alice..."

"I was thinking about how this is the last football homecoming dance I'll ever attend. Then it'll be basketball homecoming, and then prom, and then it'll be over and we'll be..."

"Over," he said sadly. "I've been thinking about that too and I scare myself shitless."

"We have to talk about it eventually."

"Eventually... but not tonight."

I agreed and we went back to dancing to the slow rock ballad that has obviously been requested by coach McCarty. After a while on our own, we found the rest of the the group and we spent the remainder of the night goofing off. Emmett and Edward teased Jasper about his fight, and Bella secretly teased me about last night's freakout. Rosalie's crown was so sparkly that it caught the light and made reflections appear on the walls. I'll bet Mrs. Hale has that crown boxed. Rosalie is an only child, and she's always been big on catching milestones. Speaking of milestones, we all took pictures to remember ourselves the way we were tonight. Young, happy, sweaty, and covered in bits of metallic paper from the confetti cannons.

**XXX**

"So... we'll date during high school and then the day before we leave for college we'll end it," I asked, making sure I fully grasped Jasper's suggestion.

"Yeah. No. Not really end it. Just..."

"We'll be in a casual dating situation, but not boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yes. Exactly. Then when we both graduate we can reconnect...even if it's long distance."

"Then after a couple years of dating we'll..."

"Get married. Sound like a plan?"

"I like that plan, Jasper. What if you meet somebody else?"

"Me? You're the one with guys hitting on you left and right."

"Oh and like girls aren't just drawn to you. You'll be up there in Texas with only Lord knows what kinda women."

"Yes, I will be in Texas with only Lord knows what kind of women, but my mind and my body will belong to you. Do you believe me?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust me?"

"...Yes," I said in the tiniest voice I had. He smiled and kissed me, then we went back to eating our ice cream. This plan is better than just losing him all together. It made me crazy not to talk for him for two weeks. To not talk to him for three months would demolish me.


	23. Chapter 23

**Alice**

It's halloween, but Benjamin's not having his big blowout party this year. Nobody knows why, but he's not. Needless to say, it's a bit of a let down but we'll survive. After All, we have this festival for the kids at the elementary school. It's even complete with a scary house made from a tool shed lent to us by one of the parents. I'm the creepy narrator of it. I'm dressed up like a zombified Mina Harker, complete with oozing fang marks on my neck and blood dripping from my throat and down my chest. Oh, plus a little decay. Instead of donning a wig for this, my hair is just frozen on top of my head with hairspray. Even my brace is decked out in fake blood, spider webs, and plastic insects. I'm bonafide scary. Before the victims go through I warn them, and tell them about the dangers that lie before them, then to top it off I give a creepy screaming, evil laugh while they are entering. My night has been the bomb. On the inside a maze has been made with black sheets, glow in the dark fake blood, and a host of other creepy props. Like a demon baby that's sure to give me nightmares.

Edward was the headless horseman, and Emmett was the wolfman. Rosalie was a witch. Mike Newton and some other guys are playing trapped tortured souls who once passed through the maze but had never been permitted to leave. Carlisle had gotten in on the action too, by playing a doctor gone mad, and then to top it off, Jasper played a psychotic clown that chased the kids to the end of the maze, where Bella was dressed up like an angel, waiting to give them candy. I'll say we did a damn good job putting this together in a week and a half. It didn't even cost that much. A lot of the stuff was donated. The people in this town sure love the scare the shit outta their kids.

I'd played my zombie Mina Harker role until the last scared bunch of kids went through. In this bunch, were Nessie and Seth. They looked nervous, but were holding onto each other for moral support. I bet she's gonna be sleeping with me tonight. When I heard her screaming I knew it was so. What I didn't expect was to see her running past me with the headless horseman chasing her. Edward is such a dick sometimes.

XXX

The only bad part about a good party, is the clean up. The only thing I wanted to do was go home, get the makeup off of my face, and drink some warm tea for my throat. I think I overdid it with the evil laughing.

When the last apple core had been picked up, and the props had been taken from the shed and loaded up into the school's storage room, it was time to call it a night. It wasn't late, just past eight, so we're going to go get un-scary and have some pizza. I guess gooey cheese soothes a sore throat as well as tea.

XXX

On the way home I had a hankering for a snicker's bar, I guess because the kids ate all of the fun size ones at the festival. So, I stopped by Weber's drug store and went in. Costume and all. Angela told me that she liked it, we made small talk for a few seconds, and then I went back to where the candy was. I don't know if a bar will suffice. I might need a pack of snickers. I was taken off guard, but not surprised to see Alec in the candy aisle as well. Shit!

"Nice costume," he said.

"Thanks," I said.

"You cut your hair again..."

"What?"

"You cut your hair again. It would have grown out more by now. I can tell that you cut it again."

"I did."

"You're smoking again."

"What? I'm not!"

"You are... Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

"Well, uh, thanks... I'm gonna go now."

"That time of the month?"

"What? Why would you say that? I outta hit you just for saying that!"

"You're not a chocolate-eating person until then. I can tell... your voice gets a little deeper, you get a little rounder, your lips even get a little plumper."

"Ugh, you are so weird!"

"I am. Was that supposed to be an insult? I don't see it as one."

"You gotta stop saying stuff like that to me! I'm... I'm wish Jasper. I shouldn't even be talking to you after you kissed me against my will! Your mouth raped my mouth!"

"Maybe, but you liked it. For just a split second you closed your eyes and rested your hand on my arm. Even if you smacked me right after, and you felt violated or whatever... you have to admit that you liked it."

"I didn't."

"Whatever you say, Alice. Here, buy yourself something delicious."

He handed me money... slipped it right down my shirt. By the time I'd snatched it out to try and shove it down his throat, he'd paid and left the store. I looked at the money, it was a hundred dollar bill. What the fuck! I didn't want to use the dirty money, so I put it in my purse and I paid with my own cash. Angela was barely paying attention to anything, she was too busy sneaking and reading Cosmo's sex tips.

XXX

The pizza was good, it always is. I'm surprised I'm not as big as a house. We eat pizza all the time. I have to be grossly unhealthy, and I live with a doctor. All during me and Jasper's late night dinner date with our friends, I couldn't help but think about the hundred dollars bill that was now burning a hole right through my purse and conscience. To tell him, or not to tell him? Does Jasper really need another thing to be upset about? His father is calling him now, trying to send trainers to get him ready for those tryouts. I'd thought he was joking when that coach asked him about it, but I guess he was serious. They both were. He's still volunteering and from the outside things seem great. He's always wearing a smile, but I can see that he's being melted down... like wax to be molded into what everybody else wants him to be. It happens to us all, but maybe more so to him. I'm not gonna tell him, at least not right now.

After dinner we parked at the lake. It was beautiful out. The moon was glowing on the water, the changed leaves that remained on the trees were shimmering and all seemed right with the world. Jasper and I shared a kiss, that quickly turned into making out. I knew I had to stop it though, before things got too heavy.

"We can't... not tonight," I said.

"Oh... it came. So you're not pregnant," he chuckled.

"No, I'm not pregnant."

A flash of sorrow danced across his face and he raked his hair back. He plopped his head against the neck rest of his seat while he exhaled gruffly and looked up at only God knows what.

"What is it," I asked.

"I am not the guy you think I am, Mary Alice."

"Whaddya mean?"

"I mean..." he put his face in his palms. What's he gonna tell me? My heart started to pound. My chest felt like it had an anvil sitting on it. What's he gonna tell me?

"I'm a werewolf! Ahhhhooooooo!"

I jumped, I wasn't expected him to howl. I definitely wasn't expecting him to have in these ridiculous fangs with fake blood coming from them. I could kick him for that.

"That's not funny Jasper! Geez... Okay, it was a little funny. Where did you get these?"

"From the store. This is sour candy coming from these fangs."

"Really?"

"Wanna taste?"

I kissed him, it was sour candy. Cherry flavored sour candy that made me pucker. After a few moments of laughs, things cooled down.

"Alice, I have to ask you something," he said.

"Okay. What is it?"

"What did Alec give you at the pharmacy tonight?"

"A hundred dollar bill... that I'm giving to charity, or to the Lord."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was gonna, but we started kissing, and then you started howling and... I didn't wanna risk ruining the moment."

"What does he do? How can he have that car and just afford to give away money like that?"

"I don't know Jasper. You're not the only one allowed to be rich, ya know? All I know is that Jane never cuts corners when it comes to her dresses, because Alec pays for it all. How'd you know, anyway?"

"When I went to to get some candy, and to get these fangs, Angela mentioned it in passing."

"Oh..."

"Well... let's not waste Halloween talking about him."

"You're right. Let's see if we can watch the witch riding past the moon at midnight."

"What?"

"Jasper, you've never heard of that?"

"No..."

"Well, they say at midnight on Halloween night you can see a witch riding her broom across the moon."

"Yeah, and the great pumpkin is passing out gifts right about now."

I punched him in the chest and then leaned on him. I know his plan isn't gonna work. I'll be jealous, he'll be jealous. Long distance won't work either... we tried that once and it wasn't right. We'll slowly break up and I know it, he probably does too but we'll keep up this act and continuously fool ourselves into thinking we'll be together forever.

**Jasper**

"Hurry up! Take the drinks out and don't keep wasting em," Tanya scolded. I'm working for her today. She's short handed, I didn't have anything to do, and she's putting me to work. It's not going so well. I'm supposed to deliver the drinks and clear the tables. Well, I spill the drinks and I've broken a couple of dishes. My busboy skills are clearly not up to par.

I do need a break, but that's not likely to happen. It's a Saturday, and on Saturdays The Hut stays packed. As if things couldn't get any worse, Alice strolled in and spotted me. She waved and then went to a table in the corner that would be nearly impossible to get to, however, I managed.

"Aice, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, hello, are you new here? You don't have a name tag yet."

"Alice..."

"What's your name?"

"My name is Jasper."

"Oh, okay. That's good to know. I want a coke, Jasper."

"You just had to come and humiliate me further, didn't you?"

"Of course, what kinda girlfriend would I be if I didn't?"

"A good one. I'll get your water."

"Coke."

"Your pee is gonna be the color of sunny delight if you don't drink more water."

"Excuse me, busboy... I would like a coke. The customer is always right."

"Fine. Coke it is."

I went behind the bar and started pouring her a coke but I stopped halfway and filled the rest of the cup with water. This way I still win. I took it over to her and she took a sip.

"You watered down my coke!"

"You waitress Heidi will be with you in a minute, sweetheart."

She narrowed her eyes at me as she continued drinking the watered down soda. When I went to clear more tables I found that Tanya was giving me the dirty eye too. I always knew that working was hard, but I never expected it was anything like this. The worst part about it is that I'm a busboy for today, so I don't get tips. Not that I'd need them but I always thought of tips as ratings for your service.

XXX

Finally, reinforcements arrived and Tanya relieved me from my duties. My feet hurt and I was sticky from wasting all that soda. All I wanted to do was take a shower, so I headed home. The walk was a pleasant one. I could hear the leaves rattling around in the fall breeze.

When I made it to my house there was a pink bug in my driveway. I opened the door and Alice was on the couch watching TV and eating popcorn. This is what you get when you tell a girl where your spare key is.

"Well hey, my favorite busboy," she said... tearing her eyes away from the TV.

"Hey yourself, difficult customer. What you watching?"

"This show called Camelot."

"Oh. About king Arthur where he gets his sister pregnant on the last episode and it gets cancelled after one season?"

"Jasper! I didn't wanna know what was gonna happen! Dammit, now I don't wanna watch anymore."

"Well good. What are you even doing here?"

"I've come to tell you that Bella and Edward and Nessie are out tonight, Carlisle and Esme are too, and I'd like to cook for you."

"Well, now I'm nervous."

"Come on... it'll be fine. Please?"

"Fine."

"Yay! I'll go get started. Come over when you're done."

"Okay."

She started for the door and I grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into a kiss. She smiled at me and then left. I really am nervous about tonight.

XXX

I knocked on the door and when it opened the smell of something hit me in the face. I don't know what it was, but it didn't smell too bad. Alice pulled me in and sat me down at the breakfast island where we were to be dining tonight.

"What are you cooking?"

"Chicken, and yes, it's done. I've checked with a thermometer and everything."

"Thank goodness."

She took the chicken from the oven along with rolls, that looked slightly burnt. On top of the stove she had rice a roni. She's outdone herself this time.

"Looks good," I said.

"Well, it's gonna taste even better!"

"If you say so..."

"I do say so. Here's your plate."

"Thanks."

"Enough talk, take a bite... please?"

"Okay..."

I sliced the chicken. It was a little hard to get through. When I bit it, it wasn't the most tender breast I've ever had in my mouth, but it wasn't that bad. The rice a roni tasted like it always tastes. I remember that my nanny used to cook this for herself and I'd end up eating it all. She eventually started expecting it and she'd make enough for us both.

"You're on your way to the top," I said.

"So you like it?"

"Yes... I like it."

"Good," she beamed.

We ate in silence, exchanging smiles at each other every so often. I was bothered by Alec giving her a hundred dollars, but I didn't want to ruin this moment either. There aren't many left. I know my plan won't work. It was just another desperate attempt. I'd flunk all of my classes trying to constantly find out who Alice was with, why she was with them, and how she felt about them. I know long distance would be a train wreck, like this summer. We'll have to break up. I think we're just both too chicken to say the words to ourselves and eachother. I mean, we have until May, or August, depending on our plans but the months are flying by so quick. Before we can blink we'll be walking across that stage and parting ways. It would be easy to ask her to come to Texas with me, but it wouldn't be fair. She has her dream school and I have the school that I'm bound, by tradition and my duty as a son, to attend.

XXX

After dinner and a movie, I kissed Alice goodnight and started home. When I got there Demetri's car was in the driveway and when I walked through the door Tanya was sitting on the kitchen counter while he fed her food that he'd obviously cooked and transported from his restaurant. She looked happy, they both did.

"Here's my bus boy now," said Tanya.

" Ha ha ha... that was horrible."

"Imagine having to do it everyday,": said Tanya.

"I can't imagine it."

"Jasper, I hope your sister didn't work you too hard today." said Demetri.

"Almost. Almost... well... I think I'm going to bed now. Demetri, Tanya, goodnight."

"Goodnight," they said in unison.

When I got upstairs I stripped down until I was in nothing but my boxers. I face planted into the bed. When I was about to go to sleep I felt my phone buzzing, and then it started ringing. I answered it... it was my mama.

"Hey mama."

"Hey baby boy... how are you?"

"Pretty good. Tanya made me work in the restaurant today so I'm tired, but I kind of like it. You?"

"Not so good. Jasper, I wanted to tell you before the media gets hold of this."

"Tell me what?"

"You know you're taken care of, nothing that's going on with your father will affect you."

"Mama, what's going on?"

"Where's your sister?"

"With Demetri. They're having a dinner date downstairs."

"You might need to get her up here."

I went downstairs and pulled Tanya away from enjoying dessert, which I'm sure would have consisted of more than the chocolate mousse that Demetri prepared, if I hadn't interrupted. When we were both together my mother started telling us what happened.

"Your father has been arrested. Apparently he was sexually involved with a fourteen year old girl. She's pregnant. Everything is crumbling..."

"Well what about the company?"

"Your cousin Garvin has taken over. Point is, it's bad and the paternity test confirmed that it was his child. He could get twenty years."

"So, where is he now?"

"He's just out on bond. He wanted me to tell you both."

"Well, shit," said Tanya.

"Well... I'm gonna call him," I said. "Bye Mama. I love you."

"Bye baby boy, bye Tanya."

"Bye, Mama."

Tanya and I both looked at each other, we didn't know what to say. So, we called up our father. He'd obviously been crying and he was probably drunk, but he answered.

"Hello?"

"Daddy... we heard. What's going on," asked Tanya.

"I swear she didn't seem fourteen. She told me she was nineteen, her ID said it, and she looked nineteen. We met at a bar, for goodness sakes! One thing led to another and now... I didn't know that she was just a little girl."

"I believe you daddy," said Tanya.

"Me too," I said.

"Thank you both... I just feel terrible. I'm losing it all."

"Daddy, you're not. You've still got us. You've still got mama."

"Your mother is probably reveling in this... laughing at me."

"She's not. She sounded sad too when she told us," said Tanya.

"I deserve this. All the shit I've done. All the times I've cheated on her and Marjorie. I deserve to pay."

"You deserve a kick in the pants," said Tanya, "not this... We'll get through this though, daddy. You get some rest. Jasper and I will visit soon. Okay?"

"Okay."

When we got off the phone with our parents Demetri came back into the kitchen and held Tanya. I don't know if she's crying, probably not, but that doesn't mean she doesn't need a hug. It's not such a bad idea. I put my clothes back on and went to the Cullens' house where all the lights were still on. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen weren't home yet though, I think they might be spending the night wherever they're at.

I knocked on the door and Bella opened it. She looked surprised to see me, hell, I'm surprised to be coming back.

"Jasper?"

"Hey Bella... Where's Alice?"

"She's in the shower."

"Okay. Thanks."

I went upstairs and went in the bathroom where Alice was singing in the shower. I peeked my head in and she screamed, letting the soap and her loofa hit the floor of the shower as she covered her naked body.

"Shit Jasper, what the hell are you doing in here?"

"I've seen you naked."

"I know... but, anyways... what's wrong?"

"My dad. He's being accused of statutory rape."

"What!"

"My reaction too... come out, I need to talk to you."

"Give me five minutes? You can wait on my bed."

"Okay."

I sat down, looking around at Alice's different fabric swatches and design ideas, as well as her pictures. I liked the ones of us best. When she came out of the the bathroom she was in a nightgown with socks up to her knees.

"Now, what happened?"

"He said he met a fourteen year old on the bar who told him she was nineteen. They had sex, she's pregnant, it's his, and by Monday morning his face is gonna be all over the place and I"ll be known as the sex offender's son."

"Jas... this is terrible, but it's not your cross to bear, ya know? How can I make you feel better?"

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Yes. The parents are gone for tonight. Come on."

Alice's bed was smaller than mine but we manage to fit perfectly. I didn't forget my problems but once the lights went out and Alice's fingers started running across my scalp, they seemed to just be very bad dreams.

**_The Whitlocks are just so much drama. lol_**


End file.
